Serious thread is too serious
What is the daftest thing you have done this week?

Alt Q: Favourite lyrics from your "secret shame" songs. No fucking youtube links please
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:07, 201 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Not the daftest thing I've done
but I just had a student turn up to the exam hall 20 minutes late, unable to tell me what exam they should be sitting, unable to show me on the timetable what exam it might possibly be, and unable to then find the actual exam venue in another building on campus. It transpires they were supposed to be taking "Study Skills".

Edit: I don't post song lyrics online. I'm not a fucking emo.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Study Skills Fail I think

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:11, Reply)

What do you learn in study skills, anyway?
1. open book
2. read book
3. remember contents of book
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Read correct book

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I have no idea, I was invigilating an entirely different exam.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Morning CHCB
how's the running going?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Erm, I haven't actually started running yet.
I do a lot of weightlifting though*. And walking. And I did jog across the station this morning because my train was late.



(*she weighs 20lbs)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:23, Reply)

That's good enough for me.
You'll probably still beat me. BTW I'm getting Vipros to invite us to his wedding the day before.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I was pondering whether to sign up for the Bristol half marathon
do you know the course at all? I'm not doing it if it's got hills...
(berk, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:28, Reply)

There are no hills in Bristol

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:30, Reply)

That's Norwich
You should all do the Norwich half marathon with us in November
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I'll think about it
it depends how Bristol goes.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:34, Reply)

It's two-and-a-half months after Bristol
and hopefully by then you'll have the bug
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:39, Reply)

But that means coming to Norwich...

(berk, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Norwich is lovely
I will concede that it's a bugger to get to from Birmingham, unless you're driving
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I used to live in Bristol
I can assure you that there are.
(berk, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I know that
I was being facetious. If you come, you can run with me and DiT and CHCB. Although I will probably be waddling off the back of the pack quite soon.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I'll have to see how it goes
I managed a 10k last year, but to double that... a half marathon really is quite a long fucking way, and I'm not sure I can be arsed to train that hard.
(berk, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I have only run 3 miles at a time so far
so you've got the jump on me already. I reckon if you can run 5 miles, you can run 13. You just run a bit slower and accept it's going to hurt.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Yes but I have been training longer
and I'm generally too damn lazy and soft to force myself to keep going after it starts hurting.
(berk, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Once you get into it I've found that you can increase distances reasonably quickly
I'm doing 9 mile runs now, and was only on 6 a month or so ago. The trick is to establish a pace at which you're comfortable and not push yourself to knock a minute off each time or whatever
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I think it's the fact that I only go twice a week (if that)
and that I resent running for more than an hour because it's bloody tedious.
(berk, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

That it is
I find the trick to keeping going is pretty scenery, sunshine, decent tunes and knowing how great a feeling of accomplishment completing the course will entail
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Also running half the distance away from where you've left all your stuff
is a good incentive to run back.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:35, Reply)

^What the Fwapster said

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

fuck yes
my friend was at uni there.

i called it brist-hill after a night involving booze and a stray shopping trolley.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Last time I ran it it was mostly flat.
I think the course has altered slightly but the steepest bit is out the Portway (a gradual, barely discernible slope) and then it's a breeze running back down it. There was a killer hill round Castle Park which was probably only about a metre in length but it was near the end so it felt like a mile.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)

That's good to know, thank you.
As yet though I can't even manage a 6 mile run, so I'll have to see how my training goes...
(berk, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I haven't even started yet.
Will start in June. Maybe.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Yes, but aren't you some kind of ex running ninja?

(berk, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I'm just stubborn and refuse to stop once I've started.
That's the secret of long distance running. Works fine until you insist on running on a pulled muscle and end up with a stress fracture.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Yeah it's all through the downs and the portway,
Now bridge valley road is closed I think it re routes through the centre of town
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:11, Reply)

al ignored my tax-baiting
most unfair.

god, how long have you got. i do daft things every day of the week. last night i was a bit drunk and remembered i hadn't seen my car for quite a few days, so got the taxi to drop me off where i thought i'd parked it. i hadn't. i panicked a bit and made him drive me round in cirlces until i found it. an extra fiver and i am sure he thought i was just trying to extend the delightful time in the back of his not remotely pungent cab.

this week i am loving aimee mann, as always, but her lyrics are either bitter or nonsensical. "i want you, but you're a poltergeist, i want you, and now i've said it twice." WTF.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I fell down the stairs again earlier.
*facepalms*

Secret Shame song? Not telling.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:16, Reply)

My mate managed to slip on some dog sick at the top of the stairs
and hit every one of them on the bumpy way down. Ouch
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:17, Reply)

that is staggeringly funny
My mum and I once heard my dad fall down our stairs in a similar fashion, though no dog sick was involved.

We didn't even see it - just heard the thump-thump-thump as slid down. The sound can even now send the two of us into apoplectic hysterua.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:19, Reply)

yeah that's usually what happens to me.
my slippers don't have a lot of grip and I just go down the stairs...
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:20, Reply)

We dont take the piss out of him at all for it
The fact that he recently fell down the stairs again leads me to believe he is pregnant and doesn't want the kid
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:20, Reply)

princess di lols

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Like the eastenders theme

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

It wouldn't have been funny if he just fell down
but dog sick makes it hilarious.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Yep, we thought this too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:21, Reply)

I used it in a later argument.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:21, Reply)

oh goddammit
you two timing bastard
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

*sticks out tongue*
*places thumbs on temples*
*wiggles fingers and blows a raspberry*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

oh god al
you make me so secretly, shamefully, sopping wet sometimes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:47, Reply)

My balance is piss poor at the best of times
cycling along a canal path was perhaps a mistake, in hindsight. I didn't fall in, but it was close...
(berk, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:14, Reply)

This week?
It's only Wednesday, and my life is quite boring at the moment. I think the daftest thing I've done this week was to get on the bus and try to use my Oyster card that had no credit left. So I went back to the station, topped it up, and back to another bus. That's it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:19, Reply)

ROCK AND ROLL!!!
my week has been no more interesting
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:21, Reply)

I rode my bike today

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Did you fall?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I was a bit wobbly
as I had a heavy backpack and I haven't ridden for a while, but I got the hang of it.

/waterprooftrousers
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I totally took a photo of the waterproof trousers I saw in England.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)

I have the feeling
that I'm missing something about the waterprooftrousers thing that's going on in here.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

he laughed at me once cos I hadn't heard of them.
then when I saw some while I was in england, I took a photo. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

It's just pointing out that I'm talking about something incredibly inane and uninteresting.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:26, Reply)

You have shamed me into cycling to my parent's house tonight
to help them shift stuff into their loft
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Gay.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I know
I live it hard! I lost at least 20 min! That's 20min late to the office... woooo
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:24, Reply)

The daftest thing I have done so far is forget I was riding a fixie
Ouch

3.bp.blogspot.com/-TsXafnk19S4/TdF6D_kR6GI/AAAAAAAAACA/dYMgfem7a-k/s320/DSC01622.JPG
( Peej, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:24, Reply)

ouch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:25, Reply)

if you ride a fixed wheel
I'm really sorry, but you deserve every fucking single thing you get. No, really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:26, Reply)

I wanted to build one
I built it and rode it once. Its got a freewheel too, I may very well flip it over before I ride it again.
( Peej, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I would
people didn't die in the invention of freewheeling bicycles just for poncy twats in shoreditch to decide that riding an inferior machine made you cooler.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Thankfully I have never even been to Shoreditch
It's my father in laws fault. He said they are good for training your legs to hit a faster cadence and will improve your pedaling efficiency on a regular bike. I listened to him.
( Peej, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:31, Reply)

just use lower gears, you muppet ;)
plus, ride a single speed by all means. That gives you the above. Just don't turn the hub over like some kind of chopper.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I was about to post
"if you reverted to tyres made of solid wood, would you look anything other than a fuckwitted cunt? so why go back to a fixed hub? It's retarded"

so, yeah, backwards progress fives.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I was hoping someone might pull me up
for my outrageous assertion that people actually died to produce better bikes.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I bet someone did.
Plus, outrageous assertions that are flat out lies are still better than fixies. Fixies are basically worse than Hitler.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Fixies killed 7,000,000 jews
(cos they refused to buy a new bike)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Bloody tightwads.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Indeed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:38, Reply)

You're not ironic enough for a fixie

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:26, Reply)

My father in law used to race in the 80's
and he recommended I build one for training so I did. It's very different.
( Peej, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:28, Reply)

that's just about maintaining cadence.
try just using a cycle computer with a cadence function. It's a lot less silly.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Mercyful Fate
I was born in a cemetery
Under the sign of the moon
raised from my grave by the dead
And I was made a mercenary
in the legions of hell
Now I'm king of pain, I'm inssne, yeah*

*also see many heavy metal songs from the 80's
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Easy. Alabama 3. U don't dans 2 Tekno
Bein' a lover man and a DJ
Lotsa girls come down to front when I'm on the 1's and 2's
There was this one particular girl though, she was so beautiful, she used to knock my eyes out every damn time
One night, she took this funny little heart-shaped pill and just died, right there in front of me
Now she don't dance to techno, anymore

And you don't dance to Techno anymore
I don't see you under the strobe light on the dance floor
It's been a while since I saw your ultraviolet smile
And you don't dance to Techno anymore
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:30, Reply)

The Sopranos is cool
I saw Alabama 3 many years ago live. Very funny they were too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I'm always pretty daft, to be honest.
I walked into a few doorframes, as usual.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Assumed the train from North Walsham to Norwich would have a fucking toilet
Longest half hour of my life. Although it did at least take my mind off the horror of what I'd just witnessd.

Alt: Everyone knows I love Girls Aloud so it's hardly a secret shame. Being a soppy bugger it'll probably be something from Indestructable by Alisha's Attic. I won't reproduce them here in case I break the internet.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I just typed a massive long story
about late trains out of waterloo when I worked in the centre. But then I dropped connection and lost all text. Imagine it was immensely funny but slightly self-deprecating.

But the gist is - wait for a quiet station. As soon as the doors open, hose the platform. Finish before they close, train sets off. Job done.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:46, Reply)

That's disgusting
and doesn't help if you're a girl.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Shewee FTW

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Yeah
To use it that quick I have to be wearing a skirt and no tights, which here in the land of cold, doesn't happen very often.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

If there is no-one around
I struggle to see why it's in the slightest bit disgusting.

If SWT didn't break the law about not having toilets on journeys over an hour it wouldn't come up, and surely it's infinitely preferable to pissing inside the train?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)

It's disgusting
because next morning it'll smell of amonia and rancid urine. And someone else will have to clean it.

If it's the train company breaking the rule, then punish the train company. Pee on the train, for example. Or better, complain to them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Peeing on the train is far more unpleasant for everyone inside
if there is nobody on the platform then peeing outside is definitely the lesser of the two evils.

I once took a shit in the middle of a rugby pitch.

Just for the hell of it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

I know
I don't think he should pee in either place, I think he should complain to SWT.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

he should have pissed in a botttle and sent it to their head office

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:59, Reply)

had I got a bottle, I would have used that
but I didn't.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Yes
That'd have been better than peeing on the station.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

because trains have a magic bottle shop at 1am

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

You should have known better
and brought it with you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I assumed it would have a toilet
it's supposed to.

Should I have broght a small folding bicycle too, on the off chance it wasn't a train at all?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:34, Reply)

pissing onto public concrete is vile
Only bushes and plants etc are resonable public pissing places.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

the train company own the station too.
The station is outside. Dogs are allowed to piss outside. What's the problem?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:01, Reply)

You're not a dog
are you? You have better sense than that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

yes.
I have the sense and the ability to use facilities when available. If they are unavailable and I have no choice then I have the good sense to improvise. I still fail to see what's particularly disgusting about piss in an open-air enviroment.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

You clearly
haven't walked early on Sunday morning around the streets of central Manchester. The stink is awful until the cleaners go and clean the place.

Why we girls can always manage to hold it a bit longer, or find a pub or McDonald's to pee, but you boys always are desperate and have to pee on the street? I think it's just because it's easy that you do it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Girls drink smaller drinks on average
Blokes drink pints = more to piss
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I have, yes. As with most cities in the UK
There are plenty of smells there worse than piss.

Erm, where on earth do you think I would find a pub or mcdonalds open on a train journey through Berkshire at 1am? even station toilets are shut by then.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:32, Reply)

ON my stag do I had to get out at every staion on the way
and neck a pint before the train left...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

How on earth did you manage that?
Did the train wait for five minutes for you to find a pub each time?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)

circle line pubcrawl was similar
urrrgh that was hard work
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

fuck, that nearly killed me.
We took a disposable camera and some of the photos were ... interesting.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

now i want to see them!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:54, Reply)

one day, sweetheart.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

We had beer on the train...
and a pint glass/plastic
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Oh fair enough
I thought you had to go and find the station pub and buy one.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

a quite station?
is that like platform 9 and 3/4?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

you saw nothing.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

you know
and i know

and the INTERNET knows
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I saw it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:55, Reply)

EVERYBODY saw it
how the mighty (badger) have fallen...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:00, Reply)

because I typed the wrong word?
Empires have fallen for less.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

ah but in the empire of b3ta
words are all you have
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Tell sexface that

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:11, Reply)

that would entail speaking to him
and i don't want to get seduced into being the 137th notch on his slippery bedpost
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

You're lucky you have a young assistant to personally spellcheck all your posts before you send them
especially the ones about the filthy things you get up to.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:03, Reply)

excuse me
me type real good

my trainee is pretty hot eye candy though
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

tell him
employees love that shit.

As do employment tribunal laywers.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

oh god no
he gets growled at about diet cokes and not giving me sufficient background info to check his drafting. so that i can re-draft it all. that is as much as he gets.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Considering I am a total and utter spaz
I haven't actually done anything daft yet this week. But there is still time...

Alt: My songs aren't really guilty pleasures, as I have unashamedly awful taste in pop.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Bending over the basin while brushing my teeth last Monday
All the muscles in the left side of my back did something very, very painful. It took me five minutes to walk the five metres to my bedroom and I couldn't bend down for four days. You should have seen me going around asda the day after, clutching a shopping trolley containing three items because I couldn't carry a basket. I'm better now.

Alt: "Forget your troubles, come on get happy, get ready for the judgement day..."
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:55, Reply)

You shop at Asda?
Dirty boy!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Maybe
he doesn't go there on Saturdays and it's not so bad.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 11:59, Reply)

How do you know?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I go there in the middle of the night most of the time.

( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:04, Reply)

When the lights are down
and there's nobody on the tills?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Asda hummus FTW

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Asda towels are excellent as well

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Not as tasty though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I dunno...

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:26, Reply)

You're probably not
you probably have terrible posture and are likely to suffer increasing problems as you get older. You should go and see a physio.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 11:58, Reply)

It could be that
Or it could have been the fact that the day before I had been power kiting for the first time in ages, and spent all day doing tricks involving my torso being pulled about in very strange ways. Couple that with a 400 mile drive and a lot of games of pool having been played, I think the cause is more likely an accumulation of things.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:03, Reply)

My back gives me periodic problems
Had an attack of it last year, saw a physio a few times. It basically got better itself (although she was immensely hot) but has never been 100% since.

Had an recurrence 6 weeks ago, tried an osteopath. After the first visit it was 10 times worse. He said that sometimes the muscle reacts badly to the treatment. I kept persevering and then my sciatic nerve became inflamed. I couldn't even sleep at night - even on the full dosage of painkillers. I'm slowly getting better but still going once a week, but he doesn't even charge me now because he knows that he actually made things worse.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Help Internet People!
My car is being serviced and they've just called me up to offer me two extra things 1) an Air Con clean out to prevent bugs building up in the system, and 2) a Fuel Injector clean up by putting something in the fuel tank to clean out the inside of the engine. They are £30 each.

Is this a massive con or should I go ahead with it?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

it's £60
that is not a "massive" con, nobody would bother ripping you off for spare change. just do it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

However, this advice comes from someone who thinks that £10 for a take-away salad isn't a rip-off.
Sorry Swipey!
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 May 2011, 12:10, Reply)

if it was as tasty as those long-lost delicious salads
it was cheap at twice the price. sigh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:12, Reply)

The service alone is already costing £200
so it's a 33% increase in the cost.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Don't do it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:10, Reply)

That was my initial reaction
I can't imagine that in one year of existance my air con system has developed legionella, and the fuel injector stuff is just them putting things in the fuel tank.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:11, Reply)

you could probably buy the fuel stuff for a tenner and pour it in yourself
the aircon thing sounds lik bollocks, unless it is failing to pump out cold air. Tell them to fuck the fuck off
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:12, Reply)

or to come the fuck in

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:14, Reply)

don't bother with either
although an aircon clean is less robbery than the fuel injector bullshit. Unless they are just chucking air freshener in the vents.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Thanks, I didn't bother.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

sounds like a con to me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:10, Reply)

It's a con, neither BMW or Mercedes have every offered this to me on service day
They're after pub money and a laugh at your expense
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I thought this might be the case.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

£60? pub money?
that's only one round!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

They're off down the local shit boozer, not Gordons Wine Bar

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:18, Reply)

oh god i love gordons
outdoor seat, lots of booze, massive plate of awesome cheese...

we should all go RIGHT NOW.

al's getting the first round, he's just saved £60.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:20, Reply)

That's not really going to help my health conscious period of sobriety is it

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:22, Reply)

what, cheese, alcohol and the company of internet weirdos?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Sad to say but yes, it's origami or bust at the moment

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:38, Reply)

so your choice is essentially paper or breasts?
not much of a choice, surely. and i'm not even a licker.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:40, Reply)

I'm currently constructing my own series of resin based classical busts in conjunction with my new found love of origami, life just doesn't get better

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

maybe.....
........ i still think it could be improved with lashings of booze and red-hot rampant sex, myself.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1206922
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:53, Reply)

i can see how lashings of booze might not help
but what's wrong with lots of rampant sex? what better way do you have to keep fit??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Origami

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:06, Reply)

blimey
that must be some energetic, hot, sweaty, thrusting folding technique you have there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:08, Reply)

Still, nice to be able to focus all your 'chi' into aggressive masturbation for a while, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Ah, but what an outlet

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

i hope your neighbours have umbrellas

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:48, Reply)

I popped in there for a sherry recently, it's great.

This is a very gay post.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:36, Reply)

grandfather-ish, rather than gay, i would say!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:41, Reply)

I'm a sucker for an Old Oloroso.


And so the gayness continues.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:41, Reply)

darth?
monty wants to ask you out, but is too shy to do it himself...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

aircon does need sorting
Mine is shite as I was too tight to pay
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:14, Reply)

That's recharging though, not spraying dettol into the air vents.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Ahh, OK
Fuck them off
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Thank you internet contributors
I phoned them up and said "Martin? Martin, you listen here and you listen good. If you think for one second I'm stupid enough to fall for your stupid con tricks about my motor, you've got another damned thing coming. I ain't putting up with that shit Martin, I just ain't gonna do it." and then I slammed down the phone.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

You will need to get your aircon cleaned out now
as Martin will have shit in it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Darth has been crying for the last hour because of this.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:19, Reply)

I forgot my ID and access card for my secondment so had to sign in as visitor
reception closes early and they look the front doors so when I went to sign out I ended up trapped between the front door and the secure inner door...

alt: DJ's got the party started, there's no end in sight...

or

If you roll like I roll, you don't wanna step to this, it's the G-funk era, funked out with a gangster twist...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Neither of those tunes are guilty pleasures!
Well, okay, maybe the S Club one, but not the Nate Dogg.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:15, Reply)

you don't know quite how much I love Regulate

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

I love it also
and Young Guns.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

I fucking love that last song.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

good man
it's fucking dynamite
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

True facts
I'm off to the gym now and I shall listen to it whilst i pump iron
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:18, Reply)

word

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

I'm putting it on my ipod RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna pour one out in my office for Nate Dogg. I MISS YOU MAH NIGGAH!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Evidence of me pouring one out for my homie

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:23, Reply)

dirty boy

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Tight arse
Did you pour out a thimble?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

My ex-boss did exactly this at one of our customer sites.
Trouble was it was after hours and nobody was there to let me out for ages!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:20, Reply)

hold on
your ex-boss?
no one was there to let you out?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Brain fart
I meant to type him, not me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:23, Reply)

yeah yeah....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:25, Reply)

I appear to have anti-zinged myself here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:26, Reply)

ex-boss?
me?

I sense you're unfairly blaming "a colleague" there...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:22, Reply)

MIGHTERS!
How was the dinner?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:33, Reply)

splendid although late by the time my game ended.
did the sausages live up to expectations?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:35, Reply)

They were superb.
My hosts were vegetarians, and so they gave me the two left over uncooked ones to take home, which was a bonus.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Been a gay on the internet.
Alt: I get up, and nothin' gets me down
You got it tough, I've seen the toughest around
And I know, baby, just how you feel
You got to roll with the punches and get to what's real
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:30, Reply)

you might as well
edit: have you heard the mashup with Imagine?

it's rather good
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I must confess to thinking 'it doesn't sound it' here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:48, Reply)

as mashups go
it's quite good
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:52, Reply)