God it's fucking flying in here this afternoon isn't it?
Where's swipe and her flounce?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:18, 126 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

She's probably on another website now.
stormfront or something.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Hahah
Missing plenty of others too, al, Monty, Kitty, all those cunts. I reckon they're having a post-meat bash somewhere.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:21, Reply)

post
bashspin
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:22, Reply)

CROW
Coming up north next week?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Aye, that I am
Oop t'see t'Internet ont' moo-ers and oh fuck it I can't do Yorkshire accents. But yes, I'm doing a litle tour of The North next week seeing as it's a bank holiday. I may also be bringing a (very brave) non-internetter to meet the internet.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Brilliant news, good.
I considered bringing a non-internetter this time but I thought the in-jokes and general freakishness of the crowd might lead to them not being my friend any more, so she's staying here. I keep trying to convince her to sign-up but she has this thing called a "life" or some things, sounds fucking boring to me but *shrugs*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

I think my non-internetter should be safe
He's met Lampers and Monty before and has known three b3tans (including me) since long before we became One With The Internet. Plus he's my faithful old drinking partner and so is in no danger of having one of these "lives."
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Is he fit?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

I don't know, he's a little on the portly side.
I'm just curious to see which of the two of us will have longer hair by the time I get Oop North.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Are you having some kind of race?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:37, Reply)

He started growing his so he'd have enough to headbang effectively at a Status Quo gig
(no word of a lie) and he's not cut it since. I occasionally get bits lopped off mine when it's getting a bit excessive. He has mocked me for this, so if I've managed to catch up with him on the length front (fnar) then I shall be suitably smug.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)

I think I'm looking forward to meeting him.
I'm growing mine for no particular reason, I look a bit stupid at the moment but I kind of like that.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)

If nothing else, after a few beers he'll be obstinate and opinionated enough to make a good substitute for Monty
I'm trying to imagine you with a longer barnet - I've only ever known you with the short hair/beard combo.

Mind you, even Al supposedly had enormous dreadlocks at one point...

Edit: Don't be discouraged. In the transition between Socially Acceptable Hair and Long Flowing Locks, there is often a period of Looking Like a Dickhead. Stick with it, you never know what you might be able to achieve.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Re your edit, I have no idea where to go with it, and I certainly won't have long, flowing locks, I'll probably be more crazy wavy curly afro man than that.
I'm in it for the experiment, in honesty. I used to change my appearance week by week with my hair, beard and clippers and I realised I've looked the same for the past couple of years, so I fancied a change. It's certainly gone past one awkward stage already and I'm wearing my hats less which is always a good sign. In reality I don't mind looking like a cunt - with a face like mine I had to get over that years ago :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Can we make fun of the non-internetter?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I don't want to be at any kind of party where we can't.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Good
we can now do 2 things together and have fun while everybody else gets drunk.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I guess the only differance between a leather bomber jacket from a market stole in camden and a leather bomber jacket from harrods
is the patches you put on them afterwards.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:25, Reply)

She's getting fitted for jackboots, so she can goose step all the way to her clients, and burn a cross on their lawn.
Whilst holding a sign saying 'God Hates Fags'
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Oh, don't fucking start, Noel
Didn't we have enough drama yesterday?

In the very unlikely instance that anyone at all has missed me today, I am trying to sort out a shit load of stuff to take to a boot sale tomorrow, in the interests of getting some cold hard cash.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 May 2011, 13:24, Reply)

*handbags*
I don't know, I didn't read it. Just people being people innit.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Drama?
Someone goes spouting about how they're flouncing and then sticks around to chat about it, I'd hardly call that flouncing.

She'll be back.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

I'm sure she will.
I just mean that there seems to have been an awful lot of name-calling and fisticuffs recently. More than just the normal name-calling and fisticuffs, that is.

Is it something in the water? Or have we just been abnormally trolled this last couple of weeks?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 May 2011, 13:36, Reply)

It's probably the whole of QOTW beakering, causing some sort of sciency thing to happen so everyone gets all aggro and feels the need to act up

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I hadn't noticed really, it's just evolution I guess.
A few have said this place is a lot like /talk in its early days. I like it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Where we're all clever and funny and not FUCK OFF I HATE YOU?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)

I like a nice mixture of the two my dear.
YOU BITCH
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)

You would like both, you slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)

A lot of it was caused by her though,
Might calm down now.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Bollocks to that, do we want calm people round here?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I'm in the office all by myself this afternoon
You can keep me company if you like.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Any time you like, and you know it.
*waggles eyebrows*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

*waggles wrists*
*teapots*
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

All by myseeeeeelf
nananana... I don't know the rest of the song.

I'm happy about this Spanish Revolution thing, don't think is going to go anywhere, but I'm hoping that it won't stop on Sunday and we'll get something at the end.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Yeah, what's the deal with that? I've seen it on your feed.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)

We have local elections on Sunday
and people have just organized themselves on the internet, no political party behind, to ask people not to vote for the same 2 parties or, if they do, do it because they're the best, not only because it seems the only thing to do. And then, ask for a change on our legislative, fiscal and working systems, which are from the 3rd world. Corruption, massive salaries for life to politicians, some votes count more than other, all kid of stuff that you'd be surprise to know, in a European country. We are governed by the bankers, not by the politicians. It's disgusting.

If this doesn't change anything on the elections, then we'll keep on it, making noise, until they hear and start changing stuff.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Power to the people.
I hope it results in some positive changes.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I hope so too
You don't know how lucky you're with your goverment here. I wish we had something like this in Spain.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Alt: On your 15" black rubber cock?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

She wishes.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

For fucks sake Noel!
Fuckity fuck fuck, fucking fuck flounce fuck flouncy fuck fuck!
( Peej, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:27, Reply)

NEEDS MORE BREASTS

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

BAN REQUEST!
HE SAID BREASTS!

AND JEHOVAH!
( Peej, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

*stones*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 May 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Duuuuude.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)

tee hee
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/19/us-officials-prepare-zombie-apocalypse
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

*steals*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

And it's issued by the "CDC"
How appropriate.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:34, Reply)

OH LOOK OH LOOK IT'S YOUR B3TA DAY!!!!
HAPPY HAPPY B3TA DAY!!!!!
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Excellent stuff!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Happy Candle Day Gonz!
Have some cayke

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 May 2011, 13:37, Reply)

show off

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)

:)
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)

lols
I like it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 May 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Yeah, serloooooooooowwwwwiiiinnnnnngggggg down

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Guess what?
I'm going on a date tomorrow afternoon. I'm taking her to play golf. This should undoubtedly virtually guarantee some action with my balls.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Just try not to hit her in the face with your nine-iron
(fnar fnar, kyik kyik, etc)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Be sure not to tee her off.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)

If he plays it right, he might end up bunk(ing)er

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:49, Reply)

He might get her Vijay to Singh.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)

I am clicking this
as it deserves more appreciate than it seems to have had.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 May 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Very good
:)
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:33, Reply)

It's the pick of the litter

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:38, Reply)

He'll probably end up driving his wood into her.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)

With a large slice of luck, she'll be hooked

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I bet he bangs her up the shitpipe!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Pffft.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Is that the noise that eminates after extraction?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Nope, that's shhhhhp.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Are you?
It's not a normal place for a date, but good luck.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:13, Reply)

She's learning to play
So I said i'd teach her a bit. Probably hit some German techno clubs afterwards to balance out the day a bit.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Oh, I see
that could be very sweet. Let us know how it goes.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Just been to the osteopath to sort my dodgy shoulder
Jesus shitting christ ona kitten it hurt, she should be employed by the US to torture people at Guantanamo
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)

perhaps she is
*dodgy eyes*
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)

She's only 5' 2" but caused me more pain than I thought imaginable

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:53, Reply)

it's the small ones you've got to watch for, I'm telling you
fiesty bitches
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:53, Reply)

I have to go back for the next 6 weeks
Don't make me Kristine, I don't wanna!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:54, Reply)

that's what you get for being a naughty boy

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I thought I got, ya know, Krizzle time for that in the basement?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:58, Reply)

never mix business with pleasure, darling

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Unless you are a nympho-hooker

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:59, Reply)

You have to wonder with chronic injuries like that
whether you have to go through a certain amount of Lots of Pain in order to overcome the low-level pain that is/was you dodgy shoulder, and therefore whether the most painful treatment is the fastest and most effective. After all, you went to an osteopath, who has caused you a lot of pain but has hopefully fixed the problem, whereas if you'd been to a homeopath because she'd basically have just thrown some water over you. This wouldn't solve the problem but at the same time, wouldn't cause you any extra pain. Unless you were made out of something water soluble, like salt. Though if you were made of salt then you'd be so brittle that the osteopath would have snapped our shoulder clean off, causing you even more pain but ultimately removing the problem of your dodgy shoulder. So perhaps you should settle for being simple, pure sodium instead of fancy crystalline compound salt, because that would be much more malleable. Though conversely, the homeopath throwing water on you would probably have set you on fire. Like a really extreme version of Deep Heat, perhaps.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Thank you for this enlightening ESSAY

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Thought it might take your mind off the pain for a few minutes.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Thanks very much
Funny you mention it but I actualy used to have Cancer/AIDS and was dying but was saved by homeopathy and the raw vegetable diet.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:01, Reply)

When you die I want your brain in a jar.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Do you want a straw with that luv?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

You are Dr Hfuhruhurr AICMFP

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

SO. MANY. POINTS.

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Cracking film

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:39, Reply)

TL;DR
no, I tried, I promissed, but I get sick easily these days, and there were too many words and lines wiggling around in that post.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)

I went to see an osteopath 6 weeks ago about my bad back.
8 appointments later, he put my back into a spasm after the 1st appointment, gave me sciatica, and is now treating me for free because he feels so bad about it.

As a Yorkshire-born Scotsman, I'm not sure whether this is a result or not.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 20 May 2011, 14:13, Reply)

I'm going to an ostepath on Monday for the 1st time ever.
Hope they are good. Not even sure what they do.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:35, Reply)

I should be work until 4
but I think I'm leaving in 1h.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Do it! I shall be leaving at 4 for the pub, woop!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I'm on a pint of Strongbow now, yeah!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

FUCK YOU
not really
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I really should be doing the washing up, hoovering, tidying and making sweet chilli chicken stir-fry but I'm sat here boozing and reading the newsletter instead, look at me go.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)

WUV OOO

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)

<3

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I miss my beer so much
soooo much. It used to be so tasty, and now when I've had a sip it just tastes so rubbish.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I'm in work now
Even though I feel fucking awful. I apologise if I type like NakedApe today.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:10, Reply)

What's wrong?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

He has hams for hands

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Dunno, am just very dizzy
How are you anyway? Havent; spoken to you in ages
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Maybe you need some sugar
Right now I'm in pain in my right lower abdomen. But it's normal, which makes things better, I suppose.

I have a dinner tonight, at the house of the retired man who keeps coming to work and who stole one of my ideas. More people are going, so it shouldn't be too bad. I'm just a bit worried about what Mark can tell him if he gets stupid again.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)

My friend is four days past her due date and struggling somewhat.
She looks great though, and I'm so excited to meet the nipper. They make good kids, those two.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Hang about
I've missed something here, I fancy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Hint: yes I think you have.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Cheers
Am really not with it enough to pay guessing games today
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:30, Reply)

What's wrong with you?
Other than the obvious.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:31, Reply)

AIDS
Dunno. Just really fucking dizzy. Had the morning off to try and solve it wih sleep, hae to stay til 6 now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:34, Reply)

You should faint at the top of the stairs
falling down them breaking several bones and landing in a heap at the bottom in a pool of your own blood and feces, that'll show them for making you stay late!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Oh, I thought you knew
What, can't you see my pictures on Facebook? Have you hided me?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I linked him up.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Good boy!

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:51, Reply)

*wags tail*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I bet she's excited too
I've been watching One Born Every Minute (not sure if it was a good idea) and this poor woman had contractions for 3 days and the baby wouldn't come. She was so upset to be sent back home every time. I hope that doesn't happen to me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 May 2011, 14:45, Reply)

I remember this chap
Am of the opinion that Mark shoudl call him whatever he wants, but I understad the need for diplomacy.

Why is pain in the lower abdoen OK?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Too many lunch time brewskis?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I'm puzzled
as to why there is the Roseanne link in the newsletter. The woman is completely bonkers and a liar to boot.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:25, Reply)

We can hardly adopt a policy of ignoring idiots and liars

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Oh she won't stay away.
She might not post as much, but I bet she'll still pick up the sweaty-palmed cock gazzes that she always seems to be sent. She'll come back once she realises everybody's been talking about it for so long.

Her post wasn't all that bad, really. There wasn't any malice in it and Monty's said far worse.

/taking the internet seriously.
( Kroney, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:32, Reply)

cat LEGS and cheesy feet = lollty muchnes 11!!1 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 1

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Also i have CHOCOLATE CAYKE

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:39, Reply)