You're in worryingly good form today Monters
Good morning. Just to disprove your suggestion that anyone under 35 doesn't remember Why Don't You?, I am and do. It was fucking shit.

Alts a) and b) will both be happening later today, as I have been pressed into service making a LOLWAKI video short about our site to post on the work intranet. This basically involves me dancing around our bank of desks, talking about what we do and introducing the team, before yanking my friend Zoe out of her seat and twirling her underarm into a throwaway oversway. I'm thinking a few badacadas, locksteps and swivels, but am open to suggestions.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:09, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You should bend her over the desk and smash her back doors in whilst chanting
I'M MARTIN 32 FROM IPSWITCH AND WE CAN FIX YOUR TELECOMMUNICATIONS ISSUES WITHOUT SCREWING YOU CALL ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:12, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:13, Reply)

OK then, I'll see if she's up for it
She's not
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:22, Reply)

You realise this video is going to make both you and your company look quite tragic.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I know
But luckily the only people who see it will be people who work for the same company
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:18, Reply)

You're one step away from becoming Howard from the Halifax
And noone wants that.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:21, Reply)

I am picturing Darth sitting at a mixing desk, lip syncing to "I've had the time of my life"

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Hahaha!
Noone puts Darthey in a corner!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Howard from the Halifax probably does
Might give him a career revival, innit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:26, Reply)

I think he should be more than happy with his rediscovered obscurity

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:28, Reply)

He could probably avoid catcalls in the street if he wore contact lenses

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:31, Reply)

It was a bit of a strange career move after Danger Mouse right enough.

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Cor, Chief!
I used to do a wicked Penfold impression.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Hahaha
That mental image is going to keep me giggling like a loon all day
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:37, Reply)

officelol right here

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:44, Reply)

'I certainly do!'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:36, Reply)

"the only people who see it will be people who work for the same company"
Youtube - viral remix - 15 minutes of fame - celebrity judge on "So You think you can dance" - "My booze and drugs hell"

Best of luck!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Walk in the park mate
I certainly couldn't do a worse job as judge than that Cisco twat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I'm guessing that most of the suggestions received will be "fuck off"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I have literally never wanted you more.
Morning, you raving bumder. What the fuck do any of those immensely gay-sounding terms mean?

No, don't tell me, I really don't care.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Morning gorgeous
I won't then
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Also
Imagine a strikethrough of everything after the word 'yanking'. I think you can do the rest yourself.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 9:23, Reply)

I certainly did last night

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Where do you work
so that I can never go for a job there?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:17, Reply)

A mission critical telecommunications integrator
According to the guss on my screensaver. Which I can't change.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:30, Reply)