You're either
a) totally and utterly new to b3ta
b) A complete retard
c) bert
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:13, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'd disagree with a)
I doubt anyone other than offtopic and a few /talkers know who bert is really
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:13, Reply)

but OT is b3ta surely
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)

in all ways except the ones that actually count

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Monty Propps is aware of bert.
As he mentioned it at the weekend. Nice bloke, is Monty.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:22, Reply)

That is the only time anyone has ever typed that sentence

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:26, Reply)

What sentence?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:27, Reply)

"Nice bloke, is Monty"
I know it's a different Monty but the principle stands
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Different Monty.

( girlinthehole, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Does he still look like Sutcliffe?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:50, Reply)

They are too confident for a total newbie
and therefore options b or c are most likely.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)

What's wrong with being confident?
I can be shy and retiring, if you like.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I'll take answer "A".
Someone called me apeloverage earlier.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)

I suggest you imply something ridiculous
so we can ascertain your meme early one
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:17, Reply)

I'll stick with short and direct answers, if that helps.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:18, Reply)

no no
having a meme is endearing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:20, Reply)

It is? Can't I just be heavy and friendly?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:23, Reply)

that should do
good luck to you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Many thanks.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Fat cunt

(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:28, Reply)

This is Chompy
His meme is "rapist". I'm assured this is not the case. Don't let it worry you. He has excellent taste in sci-fi and is usually quite funny.

He is a total cunt though.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Talking of Sci Fi
have you got into Stargate universe, cancelled now and the last episode was the other week. But it's worth a look.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Cheers
I'll stick it on The List. Which I genuinely will get around to starting, as soon as I've finished watching BSG again
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:48, Reply)

You missed out 'paperclip salesman'.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:36, Reply)

And witty and charming

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Thanks you two.
I'll make sure to remember that.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Is it fuck

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Have I been around long enough to call you gay yet?
Or is more time needed?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:25, Reply)

that is the quickest route to acceptance

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:25, Reply)

No, no. Feel free to join in.
as Darth said to that trucker, that one time.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:26, Reply)

You've got as much reason to as anyone else

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:27, Reply)

the massive body of evidence that indicates that you are a raving quender?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:28, Reply)

And the collection of simply fabulous shoes?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:30, Reply)

*sigh*
I do need more fabulous shoes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Have you had any more luck with wedding shoes?
or no chance yet to look?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:34, Reply)

The former
Lots of nice shoes, and lots of shoes in my size. Unfortunately, if the two areas were circles on a Venn diagram, they would be separated by a fuck-off massive gap instead of intersecting
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Have you thought about chopping off your toes?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:41, Reply)

I need them for Ballroom sadly
If I can't dance I will be of no use to the missus and will have to go beard shopping
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Ballroom dancing?
Missus? Clear case of denial right there.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:50, Reply)

steady on there mate
pace yourself.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:53, Reply)

B3th is right
You'll enjoy it more in the long run if you don't blow your load right now.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:56, Reply)

must... resist....

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:57, Reply)

I like the use of the word quender.
Have you got a navel piercing?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 17:43, Reply)

perhaps new to /ot is more accurate
I'm pretty sure the rest of b3ta doesn't give a shit about bert
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)