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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Monty wanted a new thread.
Monty gets a new thread. As long as he tells me about Hoodbutter.

Ok, a question. Make one up for yourselves, I'm not your Dad.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:00, 140 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
BOAT

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)
BOAT CUNTS

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

www.thebluehaze.co.uk/wp/
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post543641
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
everything you need to know

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:04, Reply)
I get as much one in a bed hand sex as I want
and I don't hold a drivers license.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:05, Reply)
BOATING BOAT

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Old bloke likes to think he's the coolest person ever.
I've met him, nice guy. Gave me about half an oz of weed.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Seems reasonable enough.
What's with the boat thing?
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
HOLY FUCK SEARCH WORKS AGAIN
b3ta.com/search/answers?q=boat+lol
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)
SWEET SWEET VANITY SEARCHES
OH HOW I'VE MISSED YOU1
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:05, Reply)
All I see is people saying "BOAT LOL" a lot.
I'm missing something.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)
there's no real explanation
it was an attempt at forcing a meme, kind of worked for a bit and then the guy involved had some kind of spazz out and left.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)
Oh right.
BOAT LOL.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
BOAT!
lol
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:10, Reply)
Yeah, I think we all did.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
No, you're really not.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Your mum gave me half an oz of weed.
Oh, no, wait. That was my mum.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
why does no one ever give me half an ounce of weed?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Because by the time they give it to you
you turned it in to a quarter.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)
My mum gave me half an ounce of weed, did I tell you?
She took it when she left, so now my dad has none *smirks* A mutual friend dropped it off on Monday. It smells like bubblegum.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)
why yes, I'd be delighted if you delivered it to me
I'll cook you dinner
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
I'll post you a little if you want?
Don't post me dinner though, that'd be weird.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
I dunno
I tend to get paranoid about that kind of thing. vicious circle.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
I'll hide it inside a plaster replica of my erect member, balls and all.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
not another one...

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)
If it also tastes of bubble gum
and you can blow bubbles with it, its probably not weed.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Bubblegum that made my brain melt while I was playing Gran Turismo 5 with a force-feedback steering wheel last night.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Did you smoke it
I bet smoking bubblegum would cause your brain to melt.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Audi TT round Monaco, manual gears, no accidents except nudging the leader off the track coming down the hill out of the tunnel.
MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
I haven't played GT5 for a while
great game
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Fucking awesome with my mate's new steering wheel.
I think we'll be on Grid later, and he's just bought Blur which I've not played but heard good things about. Man, I totally want a PS3, I'm such a fanboy.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)
I can imagine it would be good with a wheel
I'd like one too. Currently trying to persuade my mate that he needs LA Noire
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)
That's on his list once we get thoroughly sick of Portal 2 which, if you've not played it, is absolutely fucking excellent.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)
BOAT
Also where's the fucking question?

And the Alt. question

And the alt. alt. question

LINE BREAKS
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
ALT: Why are you such a boating bastard?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:04, Reply)
Because I haven't had sex in months!
OK!
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Your bum licky internet joy boy days are long gone

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Yeh I used to be nice and bum licky
Now I'm a horrible bastard
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)
Thank fuck for that.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Who the fuck do you think you are replying to me
cunt
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:10, Reply)
I'm NOEL!
*stands with hands on hips, chest puffed out, head turned slightly to one side*
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)
*Swooooons*

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
*makes up question*
7, including a dwarf and some cheese
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Only 7?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)
You have to explain this now.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)
I have no explanation at all for this

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
How many gays were on the end of Monty's nob on Staurday night?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:10, Reply)
you are def not a newbie
we need roota.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)
All you need to know about Hood-Butter
is that Piston_Broke will never be even half the man he is.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)
Ok, but who is this Piston_Broke?
He was briefly mentioned yesterday, but all that was said was that he was a bit charmless.

Do you have a link to his profile so I can have a nosey?
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
He is All Things To All Men.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:10, Reply)
And To One Lucky Woman

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
God, you make him sound like the Shermanator.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Actually this isn't far off, only with a million times less charisma.
So I'm told.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)
I really need to see this guy's profile.
Anyone got a link?
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
I think that sums him up nicely

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)
It's a pity, that. She's ruined now.
And I mean that in two ways. The first is that no man will ever again be good enough for her and the second...is the other.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)
so is rswipe actually with piston?
was that the mysterious b3tan beau?
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)
I never found out who that was, she and I don't really chat anymore.
Piston was just a joke.

Edit: As far as I know. She went out with a few b3tans.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
curses
I never found out either
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
A gentleman never tells.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)
You look a lot like my old drama teacher.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Aphids are born pregnant
what?
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)
No.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Like Prince Philip then?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
You know all the "Yeah, so anyway, you know <subject>, right?" bits that bad standups do to link jokes?
he did a standup consisting solely of that without any actual punchlines. It was taped and is truly horrendous to watch.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Oh.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
I could only watch about 30 seconds of it
but I've seen a transcript and even that's difficult to take.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
I'm game.
What's the url to this piece of comedy genius?
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)

www.jamescartercomedy.com/
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)
Thanks
I looked below, lasted roughly a minute. I feel very sorry for him.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
You think that's bad
One of my young cousins did 10-15 minutes of 'hilarious' Lee Evans material at a family party. It was fucking embarrassing.

Lee Evans is fucking shit. Someone else pretending to be Lee Evans is fucking chronic.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)
Oh THAT.
www.jamescartercomedy.com/
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)
Poor man.
Poor, poor man. Whatever possessed him?
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Autism!
/ac
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Overweening idiocy
and an inflated sense of self-congratulation.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Ah. Pride.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
YOU HORRIBLE BASTARDS
Don't watch it weighters, you'll feel like your soul's being raped
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
That's how Jesus got people to follow him

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)
I lasted roughly a minute.
Poor sod. I'll say this for him, he has some balls getting up there, but there are some things people just aren't good at.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)
God that was shit`
and he's says fucking a lot
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:35, Reply)
Im so confused
No-one laughed all the way through and then he gets a clap and big cheer at the end!
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)
"Yay, he's finally fucking finished, woo!"

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:46, Reply)
Ok I will make one up
the answer is 11 and a half weeks ago which is also when I last had a good nights sleep.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)
When was the last time you had the entire cast of auf wiedersehen pet over for a geriatric homosexual gang bang?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Yeh
The worst part was digging up Gary Holton and Pat Roach
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Aren't some of them dead?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
yeah baby

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Probably the Samba

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
That's a good idea for a thread
Answer a question, get everyone to guess the question.

Could be fun.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)
You are Alex Trebek
And i claim my long running television quiz show
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
What's the best Volkswagen vehicle to use when dogging?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Your mums polo?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
I used her hole

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Who is the only half decent Blackburn player?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Phil "The Power" Taylor

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Don't question an answer with an other answer to another question
*gets confused*
*moves into filing cabinet*
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)
The only thing I know about football is that this week
It appears that the game is rotton from the Sunday leaguers absuing the ref all the way to the top of the governing body.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:30, Reply)
As opposed to which other weeks?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)
Good point, bunch of crooks the lot of them

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:36, Reply)
What's the best way to pull another man?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Shit in his cunt

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Be a woman

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)
That works.
Yet some women complain this is difficult. I don't understand this.

Then again, there's a lot of things I don't get.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Sex being one of them?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:30, Reply)
Nah, I get plenty. I'm a right superstud me, Darth said so.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)
This is true
*sits down gingerly*
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)
figginglols

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:37, Reply)
The ginger was your idea, not mine.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)
ZING
In two respects
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:45, Reply)
I didn't know about the "other use" until I read Night Watch.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:46, Reply)
Haven't read it
And now I never will
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:48, Reply)
it's a livestock thing
not a sexual thing.

although in your case there is a blurring of the lines between them
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:49, Reply)
We'll have to teach him the ginger beer trick.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:53, Reply)
It's a Vimes novel.
One of Pratchett's better ones I reckon.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:50, Reply)
A small steam train

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)
what is my most common misspelling when painting racist graffiti on black people's houses?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Millets?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:29, Reply)
Naggers

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:29, Reply)
Lite ni Chayns sez gooo herm

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:30, Reply)
Are you from Hull?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)
Amazingly not, no

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:33, Reply)
This is fun
Sadly the correct question is much more mundane than anything you've come up with so far
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)
Which dance do you not like, referring to it as wiggling?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)
that's salsa

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Hark at me and my "not knowing a fucking thing about dancing" ways

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:33, Reply)
Spot on
Impressive work
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:33, Reply)
my memory isn't as addled as I make it out to be

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)
Noted for future reference

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:36, Reply)
What do you call Simbas brother?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:33, Reply)
Dave

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)
I watched the first episode of Game of Thrones last night
it was good.

Great way to end a pilot episode too, with the Queen being fucked by her brother, who then pushes a 10 year old boy out of a tower window.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:35, Reply)
It's a good series, I'm enjoying it.
Recommended to anyone who likes breasts.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:36, Reply)
This^
Blonde girl has 10/10 norks
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:37, Reply)
Game of Thrones is very good
Nork central too and an excellent death in the last one I watched. OW!
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:37, Reply)
i saw Sean bean in pub in London once
he looked so old i hardly recognised him, you could have hidden a couple of anorexics in the lines in his face
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)
That is the worst episode out of the 7 I've watched.

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)
I look forward to the rest then

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Game of Thrones is awesome.
Sticks quite close to the book, which makes my inner pedant happy.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:42, Reply)
But presumably makes most of the cast sad.
"We want you to play a major character in a massive new TV series! For three episodes... but your death with be really nasty!"
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Bit like Lost then.
Lots of money per episode, no secure contract.
(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 10:48, Reply)
The author's one of the exec producers

(, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 11:20, Reply)

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