Sophie Ellis-Bextor

( Peej, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:50, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Minnie Driver

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Ugh. She's not nice looking.
Lorry Driver more like.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Sutcliffe lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:52, Reply)

You are wrong.
She is lovely with her triangular chin/head arrangement and her powerful jaw.

And she's tall.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:55, Reply)

you describe her like Ronnie James Dio

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I thought he was a midget?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:56, Reply)

DON'T SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:57, Reply)

He was a silly little man.
There. I've said it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)

:-o

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Her rhomboid face would deflate any semblance of an erection I might muster.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:51, Reply)

What about her mum, though?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:53, Reply)

even her mum detumesces at the sight of Sophie's face

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I'd take her to Tracey island

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Would, until she needed a Blue Peter bungalow of her own, with ramps, a la Deacon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I'll bet you'd vandalise her (lady) garden.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Course I would. You've have to be mentally ill not to.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Her sun-dial will be left proper smashed
As you leave loads of your industrial fluid in her pond.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:08, Reply)

You Petra.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I also would smash one up it.
See also the other one with all jaw and no boobs. You know the one. Her. She's been in films and that. I've completely forgotten her name. I'm like that with women.

God, she was in Pirates of the Caribbean and Domino and The Duchess.
( Kroney, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Kiera Knightley
she's the idiot's Natalie Portman
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Keira Fort-nightly. At a push. If I didn't have any other offers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:59, Reply)

YES, that one.
I would be much more enthusiastic with Portman, granted. But Portman's not borderline.
( Kroney, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:59, Reply)

did you hear about that actress who got stabbed the other day?
the one from Legally Blonde. Reese Something
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Witherspoon got stabbed?
Was she being annoyingly virtuous again? It was bound to happen sooner or later.
( Kroney, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

no, with a knife

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

ZING!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Oh, you cunt.

( Kroney, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

couldn't resist

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:03, Reply)

How the fuck did you catch anyone with that?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:04, Reply)

not sure
wasn't sure how well it'd work over the internet, but it paid off
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

It's the first time I've ever heard that one.
But I'm not proud of that, and neither should you be.
( Kroney, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I happen to love that joke
and as such am very proud. I also enjoy making other people feel stupid.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I am now debating trying it on my halfwit co-worker
She'll fall for it, I'm sure, but it's not really an achievement since I'm pretty certain she'd fall for "gullible isn't in the dictionary".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)

makes it even better
it's one of those jokes where the reward is entirely for the teller.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:15, Reply)

No. With a knife.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Yeah, you too.

( Kroney, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

No
I won't say it
( Peej, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

at least someone did

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

You dastardly, dastardly cunt.

( Kroney, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Didn't say it properly though
Shame
( Peej, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:08, Reply)

why not?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Cos he said Witherspoon got stabbed?
Whereas just "Witherspoon?" Would have been better
( Peej, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:20, Reply)

yeah, I was concerned about that
bit yoda-ish, but I figured it was allowable.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Yes
and just look what its spawned. Vote Vippers, for king of OT!
( Peej, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Oh, I'll oblige
With a knife?

Edit: oh ffs.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:04, Reply)

poor effort
must try harder
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Portman is a goddess
I'd ditch the wife and kids in a second for a go on her.
( Peej, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Up the duff now.
Another dream crumbles to ash.
( Kroney, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

still would

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Fact.
More wiggle-room.
( Kroney, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:03, Reply)

WITH A KNIFE!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:06, Reply)

No Witherspoon

( Peej, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Keira Knightly?
Best description I've ever heard of her is "She's like an ironing board with a face".
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 6 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)

An ironing board with a face
and a handy pocket to keep your rolling pin in.
( Kroney, Mon 6 Jun 2011, 11:00, Reply)