Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Jeff! Jeff! I've found your perfect woman!www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc
Alt: what do you love?
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:21, 170 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
No sound at work but I'm assuming she loves dogs?Alt: Myself.
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girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:23,
Reply)
I have a sneaky feeling Noel would love to have a pair of breasts to call his own.(
girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:29,
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I loveholidays, mainly.
I'm so jealous today. All my friends in Tenerife are talking about how they're spending the afternoon after work on the beach. I miss that so much: finishing work at around 4 and go straight to the beach for a nice swimn and a bit of sun.
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:28, Reply)
You can still do thatIt's just a bit further to the beach, and the weather will probably be shit when you get there
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:29, Reply)
Twelverife is where its at baby(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:34,
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Not really, noShit week at work and insomnia do not a happy sportscow make.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:43,
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Kids waking up at 4am means I can't get back to sleep mateOnce my brain starts thinking, I'm fucked for sleep
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:49,
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Oh that's fucking awful mateApologies for making light of the issue
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:52, Reply)
Best idea yetLots of red wine will be consumed tonight to "medicate" me
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:02,
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You should move to Weston super Mare.You can totally do that here. And you can go on the pier and tell Jeff all about it.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:32,
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or you could move to one of the nice places that has a beach, rather than a shithole full of fucking smackheads(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:37,
Reply)
or somewhere nice.(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:44,
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I didn't say what it was an example ofAll of Norfolk looks down on Yarmouth. That should say it all.
Except Swaffham.
Cunts.
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:46, Reply)
ManchesterI doubt I'll go anywhere that unpleasant this year. And I'm going to Leamington Spa and Great Yarmouth at the end of the month
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Come on then Viprostell us where we can find a beach that meets your high standards?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:47,
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it wasn't the beach, it was the place it was next tothere are countless beaches in the South West which are nicer than Weston and have the added bonus of not being by Weston.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:56,
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^ This.And they could get an ice-cream covered in Haribo.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:41,
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Me and the granddaughter are going to go and do exactly that one day soonThen you'll be sorry!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:43,
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Because you wouldn't have an ice cream with Haribo.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:47,
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But if I wanted ice cream with Haribo I could have one.So I'm still not sure what I've got to be sorry about.
I'd be jealous however if you got yourself a ice cream covered in Haribo and you ate it on the pier.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:50,
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that has to be fakealt: Loads of things man, I'm just full of love.
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:31,
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Full of shit, is what you are.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:33,
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Unlike Kroney, who's full of shit-love.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:43,
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Alt: not 'what', 'who'www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAGoqMZRLB4
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:34,
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The poor and disadvantaged of lifeAll they need is a cuddle and their problems will seem like they've been halved
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:34,
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As long as they don't tell an adult, right?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:36,
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On leaving the house at 6 this morning I encountered a knight of Holloway Road asleep on the pavement with a plastic bottle of white lightening used as an impromptu pillowFucking class that is
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:40,
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When in Newquay I met one at about 11am who, having polished off a breakfast of sardines in tomato sauce straight from the canwas opening a large bottle of Napolean brandy to get him through the day.
Very well-spoken he was. Don't let anyone tell you that Newquay isn't a place with class.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:43,
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There's a load of derros round Muswell Hill just presently, less gentleman of the road, more fucking skankThe chap who talks to the bin can occasionally be amusing
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:45,
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that's savvy(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:46,
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I genuinely read that as Camberwick Green.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:47,
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Captain Snort should be your username.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:51,
Reply)
I have come to the recent conclusionthat I love alcohol
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:35,
Reply)
and I have come to the recent conclusionthat you are a drunkard.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:37,
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:48,
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that's supposed to be you showing me yours, you massive perv (
Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:49,
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you've ruined it the essencelet's have a drink, eh?
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:51,
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Cracking norks though, eh?!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:03,
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I have come to the recent conclusionthat you love interfering with boys.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:41,
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You do it anyway, but you don't really enjoy it?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:42,
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'...and who loves what? KILLIAN!'
That's right, I just quoted from 'film' because I'm really 'into film'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:35,
Reply)
"Difficult, difficult lemon difficult"I just also quoted a film +4 points to anyone who names it and puts the proceeding line in.
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:39, Reply)
In The LoopThe line comes up twice, once when Tom Hollander's character whose name I can't remember tells Olly Reeder (played by Chris Addison) to get and get some info, "it'll be easy peasy lemon squeezy" and then when some American on the select committee asks Hollander for his opinion on something.
Haven't seen it in a while so apologies for lack of specificity. I'm happy with +3 points.
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)
I was just about to post thatYou F, star, star, CUNT!
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:52,
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Us three are probably the biggest film nerds on B3taPut on your wellies lads, we're going to be knee-deep in clunge
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:58, Reply)
You're the biggest *somethings* on B3ta, that's certain.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:01,
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my money is on "benders"(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:08,
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Going to stick up for Chompy hereHe's never displayed any behaviour which could be deemed stereotypically gay, unlike myself. This is probably because men are usually stronger and better at defending themselves than women.
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)
I don't think I realised you were talking about Chompy at the time(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:21,
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This is the problem with internet conversations that take place over about half an hourNeither of us is sure what the other's on about and I think - I THINK - we don't really give a shit either
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:24, Reply)
I put my own spin on it.That's what we 'film people' are allowed to do.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:42,
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Where was the spin? Changing the crowd response from 'DAMON' to 'KILLIAN' ?You're not 'film people' anymore than 'Bill Clay' is my real name, if indeed it is.
*scuttles back to IMDB for well earned film-pedant-fives*
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:45,
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That is magnificent post and I have awarded it one of my rarely-given clicks.EDIT: also, you've got me. I am not 'really into film' apart from low-budget 1970s martial arts films.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:51,
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This is because being 'into film' is actually lower than being 'into noncing' in my estimation.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:02,
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would you say the same about being into music?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:03,
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No, that's fine.Unless you're into shit music.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:08,
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Question.Do you genuinely despise those with an interest in watching films and knowing intricate details about them, or just those who say things like "I'm so into film"?
This is an important distinction, because I would regard myself as being the former but would happily burn anyone who sees no shame in the latter.
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:04, Reply)
In truth, it's mainly the latter.People who abbreviate the names of films (eg 'Withnail') are utter, utter cunts.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:09,
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You seem to have confused me with someone who gives a shit mateEven assuming that it would cause me to rise in your estimation to type "Strictly Come Dancing" rather than truncating it, the reason behind my not bothering is simple; I'm lazy. I'd be happier typing SCD as it's shorter still, but people tend to not know what that is. The middle ground provides you all with further opportunities to call me a gay. I thought you'd be grateful.
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:15, Reply)
despite loving the filmI've never done that.
Do I also get special dispensation for having seen it when I'd never heard of it before and enjoying it just because it is silly?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:10,
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Seeing as it's you, OK.I don't mind that film but it's nowhere near as good as people - yes, STUDENTS, I am unfortunately looking at YOU - make it out to be.
Quoting it should be a capital offence.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:12,
Reply)
Monty, you terrible cuntSee what I did there.
Ironically, I absolutely agree; it's a decent film, a good giggle, but nothing more. Bollocks is it a classic.
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:16, Reply)
Here's one for you:Dazed and Confused
what is your opinion of it?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:24,
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I really like that filmMakes you all nostalgic for a youthful past you never actually lived through. And in a different country and decade.
Most tolerabe Matthew 'Bongos' McConaughey role as well.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:27,
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good summarygreat soundtrack too
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:37,
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Haven't seen it in years actuallyAt least a decade, in fact. From somewhat hazy memory; great fun, very entertaining, probably evokes all manner of rose-tinted memories for Americans of a certain age. That's it.
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:29, Reply)
I love it.great soundtrack, fairly realistic depictions of weed smoking, few hot birds, Ben Affleck gets a tin of paint all over him.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:38,
Reply)
it's one of my all-time favourite films.how do you feel about kung fu?
I watched some of Ip Man yesterday. Good shit.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:42,
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I've not seen that much of the genre to be honestApart from the obvious Bruce Lee movies. I know, I know. Lame.
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:46, Reply)
There are a lot of light hearted ones with excellent kung fuJet Li's earlier stuff.
I can highly recommend The Shaolin Temple, and Twin Warriors.
Iron Monkey is a great one too. Kind of like Kung Fu Robin Hood.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 16:02,
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I may have quoted it in the pastbut to be fair, I did have a bastard behind the eyes
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:20,
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I didn't like itGave my copy away.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:23,
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I thought we were going with 'Weighters'?(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:21,
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Oh dear.'It's not 'Superman One' ACTUALLY'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:22,
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And both lots walk proudly over the pathetic crippled bodies of the people who are "into maps"(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:09, Reply)
Hahahaawell zinged, computer-games-as-an-adult man.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:10,
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That woman is a right fucking bender.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:38,
Reply)
Things that I love, by Kristine aged 28.3Dancing, singing, driving, N-Dubz, booze, movies, my crazy dog, pasta, booze, sunshine, sunflowers, weeping willows, honeysuckles, rainbows, glitter, my car, clovers, booze, talking to you shit heads, Cheryl Cole, Girls Aloud, red hair, swimming, fishing, roller coasters, booze, making out, booze
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:55,
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You seem to have missed out 'being a massive Internet bully'(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 14:58,
Reply)
I'm not a massive internet bully. I'm nowhere near smart enough.(
Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:03,
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Things I love by Monty Boyce aged 37.7'you love, my only true love'
'rock'n'roll'
etc
EDIT 'the smell of napalm in the morning' SEE I AM A 'FILM PERSON'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:00,
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Well, thanks.I've got that fucking song in my head now. Cunt.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:04,
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taking Kristine's leadI love: music, sci fi and fantasy books, surfing, guitars, talking about any of the things already mentioned, cooking, eating, talking about cooking and eating, hanging out with my friends, cars, my house, the English countryside, my black boots, camping (the kind where you use a tent), pale, dark-haired women, sausages, mustard, pistachio nuts, lemon meringue pie, nice red wine, vodka
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:03,
Reply)
it's hard to explain how awesome surfing isto people who haven't tried it.
The feeling you get is many times better than it looks.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:05,
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ah man, I may have to try itbut animals in the water scare me, I'm a massive pud.
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:08,
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it's rare that you see any.I've seen dolphins once or twice, and seals once or twice, but that's about it.
the trick with learning to surf is to start with the biggest board you can carry down the beach. If you do that then it's actually quite easy to start with.
When you start being able to turn and go along the face of the wave, that's the hard bit, but also the best bit.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:09,
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My old man is at his holiday home now,and is likely doing a little surfing as we speak.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:13,
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your old man sounds awesome(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:18,
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He really isHis latest email refes to 'silent black glossy ibises with curved beaks, looking sinister like sleek stealth birds'. The man's deranged.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:24,
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there's a shit ton of jellyfish where I could go, plus there's been several shark attacks(
Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:19,
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that wouldn't be so much fun(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:19,
Reply)
yeah, last time I was there there was a scare, people started rushing off the beach because you could see a dorsal fin up through the wavesturns out it was just a hat
but it was still fucking scary
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:25,
Reply)
I dreamt I went surfing last nightin my dream it was awesome
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:13,
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my favorite thing in the world to do is take a nap after swimming all dayit's wonderful, you feel like you're floating when you lay down, your skin is hot and the a/c is cool, oh man I know what I'm doing this weekend
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:18,
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it's awesome in real life too(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:19,
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yeah but in real life I couldn't do it(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:23,
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I think we've discussed this before(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:27,
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Quite probablyI can't imagine my feet would have any purchase on the board
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:28,
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that's down to what you wear on themand having a good coating of wax on the board
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:36,
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Alt; I love the dig I got away with in the lottery thread, hur hur(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:03,
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you sound like you think people ever read what you post(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:11,
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And your response has validated me, yay!(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:13,
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What are you doing this weekend Blousie.I'm going to do some boozing in a little bit.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:18,
Reply)
Speed course, curry with family and cinema with nephew.Tonight gym and early night.
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girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:19,
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Sounds like an action packed weekendWith lots of Aunty Blousie time thrown in as well.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:23,
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To be honest I could do with a quiet weekend.I wish I hadn't reminded them of my birthday.
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girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:24,
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I love lamp(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:20,
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Don't let Crow hear you say that.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:22,
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What's he gonna do?He's about as effective in a fight as a freshly tasered spasmoid.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:24,
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I am a bearer of truths(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:25,
Reply)
You are a bearer of herpes, more like.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:28,
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The most inconvenient of truths(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:30,
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Hahahhahahhaha I've missed you on here.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:31,
Reply)
Whereas you're Mike fucking Tyson?(You might be well 'ard for all I know)
(and I know you're pretty handy with a rapier)
(, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:27, Reply)
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