Who is Freefair?
Not the teenager it claims to be obviously but who? Roger says no, could it be Bert? Is Chompy having a giggle?

Alt: Swimming recently I have noticed people wearing plastic things on their hands that I assume are to aid with their strokes. What are they all about/?

Edit - Lunar eclipse tonight.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:01, 227 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

To be honest, I don't really care if he's new or not.
I tend to take people at face value. All he's convinced me of so far is that he tries to use vocabulary to sound intelligent whilst failing at the most basic grammar.
( Kroney, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)

:(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:09, Reply)

I know, right?

( Kroney, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)

I'm with Kroners on this one
I'm fairly sure it's a genuine newbie, can't imagine anyone else would create such a well fleshed-out persona and then be so utterly feckless and make themselves a target for abuse. This isn't ChatRoulette.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Haven't gone swimming in a while.
Last time, when I tried to get out of the pool, I was thrown back in again by Save the Whale.

Oh, and a definite newbie I think. If I'm allowed to state this opinion after only being here for three weeks.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)

You can state it but everyone will ignore it.

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Welcome to marriage

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Oh. Oh well.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:23, Reply)

For fucks sake stop saying everyone new is someone else
turns this place into some inpenetratable place where no new people come and it'll just end up turning really shit repetative bollocks. 10 people saying the same jokes every day until they all want to kill themselves. I only have one problem with the newbie, he deletes threads. I'm sure he's exactly who he says he is.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:13, Reply)

turning?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)

It already is shit repetative bollocks
That's why memes do so well.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Who sung this?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:16, Reply)

OMG YOU RAPIST

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:17, Reply)

LOL POLEDANCE

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:21, Reply)

LOL POSH TORY

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Yours is better :(
How are you anyhow?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Not bad thanks. Better than I was last week.
You?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Alright cheers. One exam left
what happened last week? (Not been around a lot- said exams)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Good luck with your last one!
Horrible unidentified illness that delayed my Download trip till the Friday. But I'm ok now.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Thanks
Sorry to hear that, hope you had a brilliant rest of Download anyway
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:42, Reply)

I did ta,
It was incredible. My favourite guitarist looked at me. It was a beautiful moment.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:44, Reply)

:D glad to hear it
I'm envious as hell though.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Are you off to Soni again this year?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Not sure
I don't have the money really. Will go if I can get a cheaper ticket.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:58, Reply)

Tickets have been appearing on Scarlet Mist

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:06, Reply)

They want face value though

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:08, Reply)

Have you tried gumtree
There are often bargains to be had on there.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:11, Reply)

*cough* syphillis *cough*

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:54, Reply)

Cock Tease
/can't think of any specific old memes about you.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Just stick the word "tits" in there and its probably right.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:25, Reply)

/Talk

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:15, Reply)

yeah this place is off the wall with innovation and refreshing ideas...

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:16, Reply)

It could be if we let new people in without the
"fuck off bert" salute you cunts all think is funny.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:17, Reply)

where was this open attitude when I arrived then eh?
you hypocritical twunt.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Not saying it was ever good,
just that it can be better than now.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:20, Reply)

So many people have opinions about this place but add nothing new to the mix.

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Yeah, I'm not an active user here at all am I?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:22, Reply)

alright then
I expect your Jerry Maguire esque manifesto on my desk by Monday morning
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Only if I can steal your goldfish

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I thought it was a term of endearment.

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Why have you got your knickers in such a twist Chompy?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Lack of fat in his diet.

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:20, Reply)

He's got a point.
Old joke is old and not funny.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Honestly, I left my fags at home.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:20, Reply)

There are these things called shops, right

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:22, Reply)

He's on a diet Darth!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:24, Reply)

As compared to full fat Darth?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Fags are an appetite suppressant
If he's trying not to eat and is a regular smoker then no wonder he's grouchy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Nicotine withdrawal feels somewhat like hunger.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:36, Reply)

I get the same feeling after eating crisps with MSG on while trying to concentrate

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:03, Reply)

I agree with Chompy here.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:29, Reply)

so much this
I notice that it's mainly relative newcomers who say it.

By which I mean Bobby.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:01, Reply)

Alt:
You'll find Bob, that once you get better at swimming and you're allowed to use the 'grown up pool with the deep end' you'll see fewer people wearing those plastic things.



^ They aren't a new invention.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:13, Reply)

guffaw, these things were thin, ridged bits of plastic that covered the palm.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Yeah, we know what covers your palm.
As often as possible.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Hey everyone!
Swipeys back! She updated the bash details on the Calender. I'm sure she'll be posting here again soon to apologise for any offence she might have caused.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:16, Reply)

play nicely please, kind words.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Never mind all that.
Swipey's updated her bash details with the venue! *edit* mindpiss.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:16, Reply)

www.beerintheevening.com/pubs/s/19/194/Princess_Louise/Holborn
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Eclipse tonight, indoors if cloudy.
Between 8 and 10 pm, the moon will hopefully go blood red.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:20, Reply)

You are Stephenie Meyer, or whatever her name is, not that you'll have heard of her you lucky bastard
AICM etc
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:23, Reply)

If indeed that is yours to claim.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Hahahaha
Never heard of her, but she looks like the sort of dirty vixen who would pleasure me till I died.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:26, Reply)

That's a very carefully taken photo of her

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:27, Reply)

A little bitchy, if I may say.
Have they airbrushed her enormous saggy arse?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:30, Reply)

I would know :)
nah I just read an article on how strictly she controls photos of herself/ angles of the photos taken, because she's really pretty from some and not at all from others
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Even I'm pretty with the light out.
Why are people so vain?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:35, Reply)

She wrote the Twilight series of books.
Mum for some reason loves them. I think they make fantastic nesting material for the hamster.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:27, Reply)

She's a Mormon
Feel free to amend that subtly
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:32, Reply)

I fucking hate the cunting mormons.
I hold them directly responsible for the break up of my brother's marriage, the loss of contact with my fabulous nephews, and my brother's subsequent death. If I heard that every one of them dropped dead from cholera, I would not shed a tear.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Fucking hell
Sorry to have opened the wound mate, that's awful
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Serious question is serious.
Anybody know anything about giving blood. I booked a session for tomorrow evening but haven't heard anything. Would it be safe to drink alcohol tonight and give blood tommorrow evening?
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Depends how much you are planning on drinking.
I'd say a few glasses of wine and you'll be fine. If you get spannered, probably not.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:27, Reply)

A bottle?

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:27, Reply)

You shouldn't be hungover
but mainly because you will feel fucking awful if they take blood when you're dehydrated.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:29, Reply)

So as long as I drink lots of fluid tomorrow then?

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Alright 'Marc Almond'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Nah, he lives in Leamington.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Should be ok, as long as it isn't too much.
Well done, incidentally. Hope you don't share my fear of needles.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I have piercings.
Needles are my friend.
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Is that where the HCV came from?
You gonna declare it, or keep quiet for the lols
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:38, Reply)

HCV
Is that some sort of large haulage vehicle?
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:46, Reply)

LOL bgb, it's the Hepatitis C virus
I know some dirty cunt with it, I always get out of having tea round their place
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:54, Reply)

I'm pure as the driven snow Rory.
Haven't even had cystitus.
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:55, Reply)

That's because you wipe properly, some girls, well ...

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:10, Reply)

All I know is that I've got quite a rare blood type
and therefore need to keep it all for myself.
( Kroney, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Its mandatory to drink before giving blood round my way.
Seeing as most of it goes into winos.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Anyone here ever seen Wattstax?
You should.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:32, Reply)

*googles*
No, but looks interesting.
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:33, Reply)

It's utterly brilliant.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:33, Reply)

I shall stick it on my love film list.

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:45, Reply)

This has fuck all to do with either question or FreeFair's latest ignominious (look it up, kiddo) grasp at the coat-tails of attention
But it made me laugh, and Apers might be in need of it soon.

www.guardianbookshop.co.uk/BerteShopWeb/viewProduct.do?ISBN=9780857862655

EDIT: With apologies to Mr Lyon, this is distinctly NSFW in a sweary way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:57, Reply)

rum in the milk should do the trick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:02, Reply)

NSFW rider would be nice
Edit: I'll stand by most linked dross on b3ta that'll crop up on my internet history, but I'd never live down a Guardian link
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:03, Reply)