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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I was planning to go to a fruit farm
and get a lot of strawberries to make jam with. How's that for rock n roll?
(berk, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:48, 1 reply, 15 years ago)
It isn't very rock n roll at all berk.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:48, Reply)
I know
such is the stuff my life is made of.
(berk, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:51, Reply)
it totally is, jam gets really hot
that's proper danger baking right there.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:51, Reply)
Tank fly boss walk jam nitty-gritty

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:52, Reply)
You're listening to the boy from the big bad city.

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:53, Reply)
outstanding

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:53, Reply)
I had to google that.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:05, Reply)
Youngster

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:07, Reply)
I got ID'd for a 15 rated DVD today

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:29, Reply)
Yes, I know
I have made jam whilst wearing only a tshirt and pants, and believe me I will be fully trousered on this occasion.
(berk, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:53, Reply)
You know all the boys are now imagining you in your pants.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:56, Reply)
Licking jam off her little finger.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:56, Reply)
like in that dirty blackberry eating facebook photo
ooh that was my desktop background for a week.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:05, Reply)
Pfft!

(berk, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:10, Reply)
I'm sure they're not.
particularly not with jam on my thigh, shrieking and cursing.
(berk, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, Reply)
You'd need some kind of jam rag to clean it up
I'll leave now.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:58, Reply)
You really should.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:59, Reply)
*shames*

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:00, Reply)
You REALLY don't understand the men of offtopic do you?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:58, Reply)
To be honest
I imagine most of them were imagining berk in her pants before she even mentioned the word pants.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:59, Reply)
I would guess at "without pants" tbh

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:00, Reply)
Al's probably just had a heart attack.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:00, Reply)
Is that not just as he is a fat cunt?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:01, Reply)
Just because he is morbidly obese

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:02, Reply)
zing

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:02, Reply)
There's nothing sexy about first degree burns...

(berk, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:01, Reply)
But .... pants!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:02, Reply)
I wish I could cement my reputation as some kind of sexual cookery goddess
but they were only black cotton M&S ones.
(berk, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:05, Reply)
that's acceptable
to our repressed British male brains
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:05, Reply)
*spaffs*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:05, Reply)
These aren't just pants...

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:06, Reply)
they're M&S Cottage Cheese pants

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:07, Reply)
Pants made of cottage cheese?
I like this. I know that's it's not what you meant, but I'm sticking to this image like a spastic to a frozen window.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:08, Reply)
Squidgy.

(berk, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:10, Reply)
I am a little.

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:11, Reply)
Is that due to your diet?
Or because you've just shat yourself?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:23, Reply)
you dirty bitch

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:06, Reply)
Don't worry, Nigella is seen as a sexy beast
and the camera never ever strays below her waist becasue she is blatently a massive fatty, not tht you are a fatty, but your pants don't matter...
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:06, Reply)
Ha, see if I had a cookery show
the camera would never stray below the waist because I'd be wearing stockings, suspenders and stilettos, and all the viewers at home would know it.
(berk, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:11, Reply)
I'm wondering whether I should be fapping now.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:14, Reply)
It's fwapping! btw

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:15, Reply)
You'd better show him how beegeebee

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:18, Reply)
All he has to do is gaz me Ape.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:25, Reply)
I think this is one thing
I won't need help with.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:26, Reply)
do you want a guest spot on the cookery show I'm going to have with The Rock?
it's called "Can you smell what The Rock is cooking"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:17, Reply)
Oh fucking hell.
And I thought my jokes were bad.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:19, Reply)
I'm deadly serious

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:21, Reply)
I doubt that kind of exposure would set me up as a younger, sexier Nigella
it doesn't sound terribly highbrow...
(berk, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:20, Reply)
what do you mean?
it's going to be a proper show, with classy cooking and stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:22, Reply)
Maybe Kitty and I can do the desserts bit of the programme?

(berk, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:23, Reply)
that sounds good to me
desserts are not my strong point, and let's face it, the Rock is only there so I can name the show, and so he can do The People's Eyebrow
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:25, Reply)
oh hell yeah
erotic cheesecake.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:31, Reply)
sexysimonweston.com

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:02, Reply)
hahahah!
First click of the day
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:03, Reply)
POIDH

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, Reply)
Life isn't a bowl of cherries.
It's a lot of strawberries.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:52, Reply)

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