Chinese girls wearing short shorts
Monday isn't so bad.
(McChinaman banned, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 8:04, 72 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It is when you're stuck in an office.
I want to be out in the garden, pottering!

Well, more than likely drinking but an element of pottering would be involved. And a shed, somehow.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Somehow I'm picturing the scene from 'Ghost' here...

(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Mon 27 Jun 2011, 8:47, Reply)

Nah.
I'm no good with crockery. Maybe I should get myself a Greek passport.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Yes it fucking is.
Today is going to be an unpleasant, stressful nightmare and marks the start of a horrendous week for me both in and out of work.

Woe is me, boo hoo etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Tell Auntie Blouse all about it.

( girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 8:58, Reply)

My financial shit is coming to a head,
I'm critically shortstaffed and have end of year stocktake starting Friday. The only thing keeping me sane (bar long-suffering Lusters) is the prospect of seeing my daughter again. Other than that I am ready to kill people.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:08, Reply)

I am really sorry to hear that hon.
Are all the staff on summers holidays?
( girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Nope, someone's sick and someone left on Friday and I've no replacement.
I've 100+ CVs to read through - which I've no time to do as I'm doing the jobs of three people as it is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:19, Reply)

We could have a look through them for you.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Chuck away all the forrins
You now have 3 CVs to read
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:22, Reply)

^this
And the homosexuals.
( girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Most of them appear to be from children living up to two hours from here.
Their travel costs alone would render their employment pointless to them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Move a family of them into the toilets
4. Profit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Killing people isn't going to help with being shortstaffed
you clearly haven't thought this through.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Have you thought about giving yourself to a higher power?
It's great, it can absolve all responciblity for your actions, and if you choose someone who can not interact with us (ie, god), then you can do what the fuck you like and no one can be taken to action over it ! BUT, but, even better, you could do it in the name of someone who _does_ exist, like your ex-wife, and then she can take the heat.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I sold my soul to Satan many years ago.
Unfortunately it was somewhat shop-soiled so he only gave me £8.68 for it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:27, Reply)

£2.02 more than we all expected

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Gutted.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)

There's some hot Chinese girls in short skirts and short shorts in my office, which is easing the pain.
*Drool
(McChinaman banned, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 8:59, Reply)

I passed a girl in skin-tight tan leggings on my way to work, I almost had an accident.
fortunately I had some tissues.

Now I've a 2 hour drive to Hendon with a car full of work colleagues, a 2 hour meeting, then a 2 hour drive back. It had better have air conditioning.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Sucks to be you mate, I reckon.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)

I'm knackered.
Couldn't sleep last night and woke up at 5am and couldn't sleep again.
( girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Monday is shit - fact
Fucking bad hayfever yesterday, leading to no sleep at all last night. Big fuck-off nail through my tyre and no locking wheel nut to take it off. Stupid BMW run-flat tyres means you cant just fix them either, which means £130+ for a fucking puncture.

In summary: CUNT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:04, Reply)

HAHA
you shouldn't drive such a shit car.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)

ALALALALALALAL
Are you definitely coming to the bash at the weekend?
( girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Errrrrrm, no.


Sorry

I'm going to DiT's to watch the boxing.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)

: (

( girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I'm sorry.
I hope you have a good time.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:21, Reply)

It won't be the same without you, you know that don't you.

( girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I'm well aware of that fact.
Without me, you'll all have space to breath, you'll be able to put down items of food with them being inhaled and all the ladies will have vaginas drier than the sahara.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:25, Reply)

I'll bring my special ladies moistening spray to pass round.

( girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:27, Reply)

It's OK, I'll be there.
You can leave it at home.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Hurray!

( girlinthehole, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)

This is true
Obviously your car/van/artic suffers absolutely no issues at all
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:10, Reply)

It's a Doblo

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)

I feel SO much better now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:17, Reply)

If I get a puncture I have a spare tyre
and then the tyres can be repaired. Run flat tyres on any car are a shit idea.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:17, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Mine got me out of two motorway punctures, so all in all pretty sweet
Somewhat pricey, but you get what you pay for
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:20, Reply)

It is slightly odd being told that you have a puncture when you are driving along

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I heard you're so manly that you can not only open a bottle of Fenton's curiosity cola with your bear hands, but you can also unscrew the tire nut holder things with them too.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I'm so manly I can unscrew tyre nuts with my buttocks.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Two at the same time, that go in oppersite directions.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Tricky

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Wow.
Seems I had the best weekend out of you lot so far. Shame about being back in work again.

I may have to develop a migraine so I can get home and enjoy the sunshine.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Glad someone enjoyed it!
The kids had a nice time yesterday playing in their paddling pool. I put the slide into it so they had their own mini water park
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)

That's good thinking.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)

About the only useful thing I acheived at the weekend

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:19, Reply)

So the kids could drop themselves into the pool?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Pretty much, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:20, Reply)

That seemed funnier in my own head.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:21, Reply)

I got the joke - too tired though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:21, Reply)

The heat?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Mainly hayfever

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Gayfever more like.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:28, Reply)

This^
what a fucking shit affliction. OH NOES, GRASS POLLEN!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Oh that Darth...

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:32, Reply)

And so it begins
COW
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Yessum baws?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)

KILL THE LUGGAGE
and I shall rid Newcastle of pollen
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Consider it done
Sorry Lugg, nothing personal
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Bloody charming that is.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I would ask you to kill everyone guilty of throwing homphobic insults my way
but that would effectively mean the extinction of humankind
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Yeah', I thought you'd say that, I was thinking "What would Chinaman say if he was going to post a new post?"
And he would say "Ching Chong Ling Long Ting Tong" Which translates to "Chinese women all have sideways vaginas and can make them wink", which is basicly what you said.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:08, Reply)

I love that song.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Wow
Scarily on-the-money.
(McChinaman banned, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:44, Reply)

The air con in the office is welcome rather than freezing my knackers off
.. for the first time since I started working here. I also have a limited edition BIG SUMMER CAN of Irn Bru which is just about the greatest thing ever right now.

I'n installing something and the Program Compatibility Assistant is telling me that I have to install what I'm trying to install for the installation to work. *sigh* Still, I have my BIG SUMMER CAN so I don't care.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Recursive much?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I just thought up a thought. What do Drug Dealers and Geeks have in common? That they both deal in 8s doubled.
8bit, 16bit, 32bit, 64bit...etc

An 1/8th of an ounce, 1/16th of an ounce....etc.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Agreed
Am only working today and Thursday this week, and on Wednesday I get to play count the chins in Leamington Spa. Also, I swear to god the sunshine increases breast size in Norwich, either that or summer casual wear has breached new and exciting frontiers of asset-maximising
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Or just bra-stuffing.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:50, Reply)

It's all good
My attitude towards padding, fake boobs etc is the same; I'm happy for it to be false advertising, as I'm never going to get to sample the goods
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:53, Reply)