New thread time
So how many of you who were complaining last week about it being too rainy and shit are now complaining that it's too hot?

Weather, eh?

Alt: Why are people never fucking happy?

I dunno, lunch or something.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:32, 120 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I got a bit sunburnt yesterday
But me and the wife (mainly the wife) finally planted our tomatoes and courgettes and I sowed some Beetroot.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Fresh beetroot is fucking lovely

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I discovered who'd been stealing my beetroot.
I caught 'em red handed.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

No it isn't.
Purple sick memory lols.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Purple poo is more disconcerting.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Pink piss FTW

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Prince's legendary shelved scat-themed LP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Then I'm glad I wasn't sick out of my bottom.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I skipped the vegetables this year as I thought I was going to be moving house.
But it now looks as though I'm going to be staying the year and I've missed the spring planting. I might chuck a few things in in hopes of catching a late crop, but it's much harder work when it's hot.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I think it may be called 'being British'
On a lighter note, there's a copy of 'Now That's What I Call Music 4' going for £235 on eBay. £235...!
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:34, Reply)

*digs in loft for old tapes*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:35, Reply)

DO FUCKING WHAT?
If I wanted ever to hear The Thompson Twins and Johnny Hates Jazz again in my life I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to part with money for the experience.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Hold me now.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:37, Reply)

The fact that you could download the contents for a fraction of the price...

(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I used to love the Thompson Twins apparently.
Even though I was about 5, I still feel as though I should have known better.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

If you've been mentally damaged by this, you might want to go and see your
Doctor, Doctor.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

No, that was Jim Diamond.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

No, that was Anne Diamond's kid...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

His career really died a death, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Remember the joke from yester-year
You'd get a book and throw it away and ask your classmates, 'What was that?' they'd have no idea, and you then got to say 'Anne Diamonds family allowance book'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:44, Reply)

chevron

( Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:48, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

They were my favourite characters in the Tintin books...

(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Johnny hates jazz were on NTWICM 4?

( Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:48, Reply)

1984 - before their time...
www.discogs.com/Various-Now-Thats-What-I-Call-Music-4/release/2206834
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I don't fucking know,
I was just thinking of two shit-arse bands that I hated from the 80s and they popped into my head. It was them or Kajagoogoo.

I was going to list them, but I was too shy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Well The Thompson Twins were!
So you must have bought it and loved it!
( Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:18, Reply)

I have Now 11 knocking around somewhere.
Kylie Minogue and "I Should Be So Lucky", fact fans.

Fuck off, I was 9.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

No, YOU fuck off.
When I was 8 I bought cassettes by Jimi Hendrix and Thin Lizzy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Hot is fine - pollen is not
I want me some thunder and lightning

Alt:
Roast chicken and chorizo baguette
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Apparently it's supposed to be thunder and lightning tonight.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Will you do the fandango?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

The way you love me is frightening, Al.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

That is because he is on top

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Good
Why dont we get good electric storms here?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

BECAUSE THE PARROTS EAT 'EM ALL!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

WITH A KNIFE!!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I love the hot weather
although I went to the dentist this morning and they have a full glass "shop front" where you wait on black leather chairs...it was a bit much then
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

My car seats are black leather.
Wipe clean, innit.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Ah, the old legs-sticking-to-seats-jobs
Oh the memories...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

My air conditioner appears to have broken
it's leaking water down the wall. Right about an electrical sockets into which my fridge is plugged.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

It's the polar bears getting revenge

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Last week I was complaining that it was rainy and shit
and here we are a week later and it's still rainy and shit here in Edinburgh.

No - fuck YOU.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Live somewhere where the sky isn't constantly skimming the church spires, then.
Silly Jocks.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

It is Scotchland though...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

When it rains I stay indoors
When its hot I stay indoors.
Before I got married I only really ever went out at night unless I was going to and from work. Some places are better at night.
( Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

My only complaint about the weather is that I don't get to enjoy it.
Although yesterday was awesome, spent half the day in the garden listening to music, drinking cider, and reading The Hobbit.

Alt: Because you're a cunt. Well, I'm not fucking happy today because of something that happened at the weekend. It wasn't actually something bad, it just wasn't what I expected, and as a result it's really confused me.

Not sure today, forgot mine!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

A cunt I may be, and often am. But *I'm* not being miserable today.
I fucking love it when it's this hot.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Alt: what're you on about? I'm always cheery as fuck, me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

*tickles*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Bollocks are you.
You make Victor Meldrew look like a Disney character.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:44, Reply)

It's true.
Everytime Monty's phone rings, he picks up a sausage dog.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0tiNwOpZ68
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Yeah, your happy go lucky nature always lights up my life.

( wanderlust, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I know.
I'm like one of God's little sunbeams, dancing on the ocean of life.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:46, Reply)

God's little sunbeam
bringing skin cancer to the faces of children since 1847
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Because British people are fickle idiots who can never make their mind up.
Cf. The coalition.

Also, because the British are a nation of moaners. Primarily influenced by the Scottish.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:43, Reply)

The Scottish have reason to moan
for one, most of the poor fuckers live in Scotland.
( Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

And the fact that they're Scottish.
And Wales has been part of England for so long, it's just the accent and not a trace of the original culture that's left over.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I have a friend who is Welsh
He thinks all the Welsh translations on everything are hilarious, he says he's lived in wales his whole life and he has only ever heard a Welshman speaking Welsh when there's an Englishman in the room.
( Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:52, Reply)

So why is there such a thing as Pobol y cwm?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I was camping at the weekend...
(not Glastonbury - I'm not a complete idiot)
I had the pleasure of putting up the tent in the pissing rain on Friday evening, then taking it down on Sunday morning in unbearable heat.
Yes, I complained about both.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

It's about 5-7 degrees above my optimum temperature.
And I'm lardy, so feel the heat.

Alt: You caaan't, always get, what you waaaaant.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)

How bent is this?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-13926651
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:51, Reply)

That is pretty fucking bent
"yes, we saved a few quid by having the cheap option put in. Now, however, the heat of the sun, coupled with the heat of the copper as power runs through it means we can't run at full chat in case the rubber catches fires and the power lines melt. Lulz"
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:52, Reply)

So Kelvin McKenzie is responsible.
What a cunt.

EDIT: Cheeky edit there Kroney.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:55, Reply)

You saw nothing.

( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:02, Reply)

On the Foxtrot Scale, which scientists use to measure bentness, it's about a 6.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:53, Reply)

hahaha
I shall adopt the Foxtrot Scale for all future benderness scores.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:55, Reply)

God knows he likes scoring things.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:56, Reply)

how is quendritude measured then?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:59, Reply)

From 0 to Weakestlink

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:00, Reply)

you are the biggest bender.
Goodbye.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Surely you would always design something to work outside of it's general running parameters just in case

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:57, Reply)

For British Rail
anything outside of a warm-ish spring morning is outside of ideal running parameters
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:58, Reply)

yeah but, cars are tested in tempratures both hot and cold that few will ever experience
Why not trains and their infrastructure?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Because they haven't been changed since 1964
Or, if they have, they used leftover domestic power flex.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I was coming back into London on that line in January. It was a bit cold, as it often is, in winter.
Cold enough for something to freeze such that the train brought the overhead cables down. Oh how we laughed.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:01, Reply)

BR's been mismanaged for fifty plus years
It's hardly surprising these things happen. Other countries prove without doubt that cheap, reliable trains are possible.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:05, Reply)

You have to wonder what is wrong with our country
When Germany et al run like clockwork.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Not strictly true
Berlin S-Bahn is notoriously unreliable and prone to not working, much like the Tube in London, and the metro system in Munich is very expensive, though they do make announcements in two languages, which I found very helpful.

France's railway system is regarded as something of a national joke, though it is relatively cheap.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:11, Reply)

I was thinking more in line with the economy
But I see your point. Thing is though, do we actually have anything new and current in this country to actually be proud of?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:13, Reply)

freefair.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:19, Reply)

How many countries can lay claim to the sort of mutually beneficial political co-operation our coalition government has shown?
Oh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:20, Reply)

No.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Plus Italian trains are horrific.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Wrong type of parameters

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:59, Reply)

what's the non-mathamatical version?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Does not compute
/Britishrail
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:03, Reply)

anyone see Queens of the Stone Age on the glastonbury coverage last night?
I fucking love that band. They were tight as fuck, utterly superb.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Nope. I did catch Mumford and Sons as they're was nothing else on telly.
An impressive selection of beards.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I get the feeling I should listen to them.
Are they anything like Fleet Foxes?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:09, Reply)

They give you an ache alright
but mostly of the ears.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:10, Reply)

No, they're sort of folky

( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:10, Reply)

I quite like 'sort of folky'
Hence me liking Frank Turner.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:12, Reply)

And never having had sex with a lady.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I get the feeling I should beat them to death.
Every time I listen to them, this happens almost instantly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:24, Reply)

they are 'fucking shit'
I am Monty Boyce AICMFP.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:09, Reply)

They really are.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:22, Reply)

I fucking love the hot weather
Last summer I frequently lambasted the summer for being fucking shit on my FB page. It appears to have listened, as it started at least a month early this year.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:11, Reply)

What are you talking about?
June was terrible.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:11, Reply)

No worse than Terry.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Why did I lol at this?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:38, Reply)

June's been fine. People expect it to be constant sunshine.
In fact, people expect a British summer to be constant sunshine, starting in May and ending in September. An expectation that is unlikely, at best.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:14, Reply)

That's because October to April is generally fucking horrible
People basically demand a few months of decent weather. Despite all evidence to the contrary in previous years.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Which they won't get because it's Britain and not the Caribbean.
And also because weather systems rarely care what people want.

Christ, the whinging gets right on my tits.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:18, Reply)

I never understand why people don't dress for the weather.
But then again, I'm probably expecting too much of people by thinking they'd be sensible.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Good job you weren't at Glastonbury with me in 2007 then
That was fucking ridiculous. Whinging about being too hot in summer is like being complaining about your Christmas presents being too well wrapped though, I agree.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:22, Reply)

We're fucking lucky Britain's as warm as it is.
By rights we should be suffering the same conditions as Denmark.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Good point
And we've got Marmite
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Terry really carried that program

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:14, Reply)

June's always disappointing
although it appears to be coming good in preparation for July. April and May were fantastic though.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:15, Reply)

This year, June has been warmer and drier than the long term average.

( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:16, Reply)

So's your mum.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:17, Reply)

You're probably right, I haven't looked it up
My basis for assessment of a summer month's quality is how many days it rains. In Norwich.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:18, Reply)

This summer is going to be average.
Which does not mean long days of 25+ degree sunshine. It means a mixture of rain, cloud and 20-25 degree sunny days.

I have no doubt that this entirely normal seasonal weather, that we get every single year, will be the cause of much griping and bitching.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:21, Reply)

As long as it is sunny the first two weeks of August, this coming weekend
And for Leeds festival, I don't really mind.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:22, Reply)

They will be changeable, as usual.

( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:23, Reply)

As long as it doesn't rain in Bradford over August Bank Holiday weekend I'll let it off

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Bradford can sod off.
Leeds Festival is where it needs to be sunny.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Hey! Brilliant and really exciting idea, right!
If one of us gets rain and we can tell the clouds are drifting in the direction of the other, we can warn each other! How cool would that be?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:30, Reply)