Salad and a scone with jam and clotted cream
I was denounced for putting the jam on first. Opinions, people - jam or cream first?
(berk, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 13:58, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

JAM.
How the fuck could you get jam on top of clotted cream?
I'd go butter, jam, cream. Or just jam, cream.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 13:59, Reply)

My ex once went
butter, jam, cream, bit more jam, the rest of the cream.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Impressive

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:00, Reply)

The resulting whine-fest about feeling ill
Was offset by a bit of cream that fell on her rather amazing breasts.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:01, Reply)

*stares wistfully into the distance*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Jam first, always.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Thank you
I insisted this was The Way Things Should Be and got slapped down. I mean, how do you spread jam on top of cream? It's all squidgy.
(berk, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:02, Reply)

I bet they just spoon jam on top of the cream
Scummers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I guess, looking at the science behind it, when you squish it down, the top squerts out more than the bottom, maybe, I don't know why I think that.
But on the basis of that being true, even though I think I just made it up, if the jam goes on the top, it would squidge out over your hands creating a stain on them. OR, or, because a jam you have to spread and the cream you have to dollop, you need to spread it on a solid surface, and therefore it should go on the bottom. Or, if you really really like Jam, and lots of people do, it's OK if you do, then you could spread it on both sides of the scone and put the clotted cream in the middle.

Scone as in gone = Past Tense
Scone as in cone = pressent and future tense.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:50, Reply)

you are assuming here that you make some kind of sandwich
that is not the case
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:51, Reply)

In which case deffo the jam on bottom, so the cream creates a buffer between your hands and the jam, which has stain potential.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Put jam and cream into small bowl or ramekin, mix quickly with a small mixing implement, spread it on the scone.
Jammy cream, done.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Nooooo!
You cannot mix jam and cream
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Eugh, how many kinds of wrong are you?

(berk, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Twelve? I call twelve.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Nice juxtapostion
Appearing to be healthy with a salad, then stuffing your aorta with clotted cream.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

It is all about balance

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

It's my birthday
and I did not stuff the scone in to my aorta, I stuffed it in to my mouth.
(berk, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Happy birthday!

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Happy birthday
I guess one dose of clotted cream a year won't kill you.
Have a good'un.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Put cheese in the scone mix
and throw the jam and cream out of the window. Down a bottle of red wine and enjoy.
( Peej, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I had a bottle of London Pride and some Lindt Touch of Sea Salt chocolate last night.
That was utterly divine.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Although I expect in some people's books this is +1 WRONG

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Sounds good
though my brain decided that London Pride was gin for some reason
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Not wrong
Just not as right as cheese scones and red wine
( Peej, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I'd say put extra butter into the scone mix, serve piping hot
and then slap plenty of blue cheese butter on it. Entirely with you on the vino though.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I don't really mind, but that scone you made the other week was, oh gee oh gosh, just down-right swell.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:33, Reply)

coming as I do from the place cream teas come from
I can tell you that jam first is the Cornish way and cream first is the Devon way.

I tend to go for jam first though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:50, Reply)

It just makes way more sense
you cannot spread jam on top of cream, and whacking it on with a spoon is just plebeian.
(berk, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 15:07, Reply)

I need to sort this out.
When my Americans visit in September, I will be taking them for a posh cream tea in Bath. I don't want to look like a total pleb in front of foreigners.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 14:56, Reply)

it depends on whether you want to do it the Devon or Cornwall way
I tend to go the Cornwall route because it is hard to get a modest amount of jam to sit comfortably on top of a mountain of clotted cream
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I'll be honest
I don't think either of them would eat a cream scone anyway. Especially the one who turned her nose up at my offer to make shepherd's pie.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 15:04, Reply)

what?!
punch her in the dick
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 15:08, Reply)

I would
but she used to be a marine. And she's a latina. She could totally kick my arse!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)

she's not Vasquez from Aliens is she?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Has anyone ever told you
you look like a man?

hehehe.


No, she isn't.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 15:42, Reply)