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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

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THREAD DEATH
Do any of you play any instruments? Did you massively fail at the recorder? What other possibly-useless skills do you have?
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:28, 218 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I'm qualified to drive low-level order picking vehicles (LLOPs).
But only Wincanton-owned vehicles, and only on one site in Doncaster. And my license expired over a year ago.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:31, Reply)
I dunno if counterbalanced-forklift licences expire
but I'm qualified to drive one. Man, I had fun in that thing, and a couple of close calls. I'm glad I'm not qualified to drive racing cars.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:34, Reply)
I play bass a little better than Sid viscious
but that's only cos he's dead. I can do about 2 chords on the geetar and I could play that pretenders one on the Ukulele when I practised. I can also get a good 10 seconds of farty noise from the digereedoo and I have some bongo drums which I am not allowed to bronge to parties.


Massively useless: I can dislocate both shoulders at will.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:33, Reply)
You can bring your bongoes to my party.
*waggles eyebrows*
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:38, Reply)
You're having a party?
and you decided to wait til i'd left? *sadface*
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:56, Reply)
Pfft!
Ain't no party without a communist sympathizer.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:57, Reply)
Well indeed
did I tell you I now have 200% more comunist pants? I am well happy. I also have a black T-sghirt with a yellow hammer and sickle on it but it's a medium so way too small but it was £2 so will cut it up and make it into a patch for a jacket or something.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:02, Reply)
200% more communist pants??
*faints*
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Yup, although these one's do not feature Comrade Lenin sadly.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:08, Reply)
Oh well!
Use the Lenin ones for Sunday best.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:14, Reply)
I'm very good at making people feel welcome.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:35, Reply)
That you are.
*waggles eyebrows*
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:36, Reply)
*waggles back*

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:37, Reply)
Oooooh. This!
I'd make an excellent hostess. We can be the OT mummies.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:36, Reply)
I think we already are : )

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:36, Reply)
I'll bring the bandages.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:39, Reply)
I can still play the recorder. Not well, I grant you, but even so...
I'm occasionally prescient. Not enough to have a practical use, but sometimes it's spookily accurate.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:35, Reply)
I play flute in an orchestra
this sounds more impressive than it is

Mostly, I am a terrible musician. I have way too many instruments, though. Thinking about getting a Ukelele or learning some other new instrument
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:39, Reply)
I'd love a ukulele, definitely on my list of things to get over the next 18 months.
Also, any excuse to wheel this out.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:41, Reply)
hehe
there was one in a swansea shop that was watermelon shaped and another that was a sponge bob flying V.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:42, Reply)
One of my bestest friends has taught himself (and is very good at playing)
the ukelele, the banjo, and the banjo-uke. One of my favourites was his rendition of the Star Wars theme on teh banjo.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:44, Reply)
I wonder if you know the same person as me, sounds like the sort of thing a friend of mine would do
he plays a version of Hurt on the banjo and he's in a steampunk band
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:45, Reply)
No, my friend wouldn't have the time to be in a band
as he works for a paper. Also, he's incredibly lazy.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:47, Reply)
it's now your fault i'm trying to play my fife

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:48, Reply)
*beams*

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:54, Reply)
on the ocarina now
really should keep instruments elsewhere
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:56, Reply)
shit
just fucked up time

/zelda
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:58, Reply)
you can get a weird relation of the ukelele that is bigger, has four rubber strings
fuck knows what it is called, but it sounds great
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:22, Reply)
I had drum lessons for a while as a young teenager.
I think I would have made an awesome female drummer.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:39, Reply)
I used to play the flute. Can't quite make much of it these days.
I've never tried to play the recorder, but I bought one for my cousin's son. Just to annoy the shit out of her.

I'm fantastic at doing hair. And busting rhymes.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:40, Reply)
Toy drums make fantastic gifts for kids whose parents you dislike.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:41, Reply)
I got one of those too.
As well as a whistle.

She wasn't impressed. But the boy was happy, so fuck her.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:46, Reply)
recorders are under rated
played well they can be beautiful. UNfortunately they are usually played badly by primary school kids. I used to play the tenor recorder and I have grade 2 in descant recorder. Now there's useless
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:41, Reply)
In dulce jubile is great on the recorder
as is Greensleeves.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:43, Reply)
Greensleeves makes me want to bite people.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:44, Reply)
in a good way?

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:44, Reply)
is there any other way?
apart from teh zombie way, obviously...
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:45, Reply)
The gnawing shock of teeth hitting bone isn't good either

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:46, Reply)
As is wait a minute while I find the relevant link.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:53, Reply)
this better be worth waiting for

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:04, Reply)
I could have sworn one of those 70s prog-rock bands with ye olde instruments had a song prominently featuring recorders but it turns out I can't remember what the song was or even which band it was by.
Sorry.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:09, Reply)
probably Jethro Tull

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:13, Reply)
that's a flute

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:13, Reply)
Canned Heat had a lot of fluting

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:14, Reply)
I don't remember them
but for some reason recognise the name
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:16, Reply)
They did "On the road again"
you're bound to know that
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:20, Reply)
so I do

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:21, Reply)
And despite the assertions of a clerk in a certain Leeds music shop, they're definitely not the chaps who made
"Horizontal Hold".
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:26, Reply)
in most cases
I think he used a recorder too, but 2 minutes trawling through their shit is enough quite frankly, bloody hippy music
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:14, Reply)
SONGS FROM THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
doodododoododoododoodooo
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:16, Reply)
that one is hippy music
but the following album, and their first and a few others are fucking superb.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:19, Reply)
Not far off, I think it was Gentle Giant.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:23, Reply)
No instruments
was taught violin and recorder but was terrible. In terms of possibly-useless skills I can stand on my head
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:45, Reply)
Also, if you want a useless music-related skill I could probably get some half-decent sounds out of an old analogue synth if you gave me the manual and an hour or two.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:49, Reply)
my drumming is coming along quite nicely thank you
quite pleased really. It was either drums or piano, and I think I'm having more success with drums.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:52, Reply)
Every instrumentalist should have a go on the drums, they're so fucking satisfying.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:58, Reply)
I've only played with brushes so far
but my mate has just set up his decent electronic kit so I can have a go with sticks on Friday!

can't wait!

means good stuff for the band too, because our drummer is a great guitarist and pianist. If I can play rudimentary drums we can really mix things up.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:59, Reply)
How talented is your drummer, on a sliding scale from Ringo Starr to Christian Vander?

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:10, Reply)
that's a long scale
I'd say he's close to the middle.

He's a better guitarist and pianist than drummer, but I certainly don't want to put his drumming down.

Curiously, the two drummers we've had have both been ice cream men at some point in their lives.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:17, Reply)
Haven't been near a drum-set
since I used a knife and fork to tackle my neighbour's set
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:29, Reply)
we all need to learn to play carrots
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y_CGB1GuoI&feature=relmfu
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:55, Reply)
I'll play on his carrot.
If you know what I mean. Nudge nudge.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:58, Reply)

incorrigible!
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:03, Reply)
Drums. Next question.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:57, Reply)
do you play a
proper instrument?

*ducks*
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:59, Reply)

hahahahaha
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:13, Reply)
hahah
did I tell you the story of when 50 or 60 of us trouped through a car park at 1 in the morning, right through a popular dogging spot with various naked people in cars?

We're not sure who should be most embarrassed by that encounter
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:14, Reply)
That's excellent.
I hope you tapped on a few windows with your 'weapons'
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:15, Reply)
um, yeah
we had to stop one guy going to gurn right into the windows.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:17, Reply)
I don't think I could find 50 or 60 people I know to assemble at any point in time.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:16, Reply)
There were 150 odd at the event
I didn't know all of them
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:17, Reply)
But still, that's awesome.
I couldn't even get my best friend to go to my birthday party.
LET ALONE 50 PEOPLE TO STALK THROUGH A PORN SET.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:19, Reply)
things like that just happen to me

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:21, Reply)
current favorite comment: six buns roasting
lolololol
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:15, Reply)
DID YOU TOUCH MY DRUMSET???!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:59, Reply)
this deserves more recognition

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:16, Reply)
*googles*
Never heard of it.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:22, Reply)
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
Step Brothers
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnfjVV7QEF8
prolly NSFW
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:26, Reply)
definitely NSFW
god I love this movie
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:32, Reply)
Ew!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:34, Reply)
This shit is hilarious, Beej.
I'm telling you, that movie is fucking awesome.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:37, Reply)
I also had a few lessons on the organ as a teenager.
The first piece of music I made was a death march.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooooooooo!
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:01, Reply)
I bet you've had a few lessons on the organ...

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:02, Reply)
damn, you beat me to it

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:02, Reply)
story of my life...

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:02, Reply)
Important question people!
I should cook dinner, but it's fucking hot and I'm tired and the pizza menu is closer than the cooker. what think you /OT?
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:18, Reply)
I have cooked REAL FOOD
so should you
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:18, Reply)
Eat ice-cream in a cold bath.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:18, Reply)
have veggies
a tomato sandwich and some cucumbers with vinegar and onions
om! nom! nom!
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:20, Reply)
Pizza but thin crust.
Less calories.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:21, Reply)
Thanks all
am cooking but simple stuff.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:30, Reply)
What??

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:31, Reply)
garlic mushrooms and pasta
it shouldn't be possible for something with this much garlic in is to be meh, but it'll fill a hole.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:54, Reply)
I play the piano
the saxophone and the guitar, all self taught and therefore all quite badly. I can also type without looking at the keyboard, which freaks a number of my colleagues right out.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:18, Reply)
All my work colleagues are amazed at how fast I type.
I tell them I've been doing it since 1981 and that amazes them further. A life wasted on chat and messageboards, it seems. I'd have been the office darling in the 70s.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:19, Reply)
I wasn't even born in 1981
you would have made a good filing wench.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:21, Reply)
"playing the piano" refers to "having sex" on the radio here

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:20, Reply)
while I was on secondment
it amazed people how fast I could type, and that I could do it without looking. I don't type all that fast, but compared to those muppets...
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:20, Reply)
Same
when I temped as an audio typist, I could type faster than most of the secretaries who had been doing it for years.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:21, Reply)
tempted?

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:22, Reply)
I bet you fucking could.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:25, Reply)
Behave, both of you.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:25, Reply)
Awww, you changed it.
NOW I look stupid.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:31, Reply)
I can type fast but due to spell check, not very accurately.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:27, Reply)
I has no skillz. Mad or otherwise.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:26, Reply)
You haz doggie molesting skillz innit.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:27, Reply)
Woo!
Cool.

I just scored a bargain Blousie.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:27, Reply)
A bargain Blousie?
There's nothing cheap about me.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:29, Reply)
heh heh heh
No! I just made a purchase that I was going to hold off making, but the price was favourable so I opted to go for it now!
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:30, Reply)
What???

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:31, Reply)
Hardly exciting.
But I thought I'd have a gander at the rail prices for Monty's bash. Turns out they were only a tenner each way, providing I get on the alloted trains.

Granted, that in itself is a big ask, but for twenty quid I'm prepared to write if off if I either don't make it, or, if as I suspect, I sleep in and miss it.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:33, Reply)
You better be there mofo!
I've booked a hotel near the train station for the pier bash. Then I can leave my suitcase there after I've booked out for our trip to the pier.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:35, Reply)
I just need to work out how much I want to pay for a hotel now.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:35, Reply)
that top tip inthe newsletter about using clothes washing
liquid to get rid of teastains in cups doesn't work.

Is anyone on here domestic enough to know what does?
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:38, Reply)
Salt.
Well it works for teaspoons.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:39, Reply)
I have salt
I should try that
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:42, Reply)
OK
mugs now contain very salty water
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:46, Reply)
No....use the salt as an abrasive to remove the tea stains.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:47, Reply)
ooooooh
I should have some kind of washing up brush for this I suppose. The only one I have is for guinea pig cage cleaning.

perhaps this is tomorrow's job
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:48, Reply)
Your finger will do.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:48, Reply)
huh huh
*smuts*
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Fucksake Cavy
/ac
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:56, Reply)
pretty sure I wasn't the only person thought that

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:57, Reply)
no as in even I knew what she meant you domestic retard.
and that's saying summat.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:00, Reply)
pfff!
I cannot refute that description, though.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:02, Reply)
I think you win some kind of prize.
I do trust you are good at other things to make up for this.

you can take that as dirty or not I don't care too fucking hot.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:04, Reply)
Caustic soda will shift most stuff.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:39, Reply)
I don't have any of this :(

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:41, Reply)
Got any washing powder or tablets?
They're usually very alkaline, though not as strong as caustic soda.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:48, Reply)
nope
I have a little clothes washing stuff, that didn't work
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Yeah! my mum uses washing up powder to clean pans that have been burnt.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Oooh! Me!
What you have to do, is to wash up your cups within a few hours of finishing your brew. Leaving the cup on the floor by the sofa for a few days makes it more difficult.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:39, Reply)
pfft

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:41, Reply)
that's not a real world solution
silly Jeff

and mine are usually scattered around my compuer
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:42, Reply)
Comedy newsletter in being a bit useless shocker.
I'm not particularly domesticated, but I know how to use google.
www.howtogetridofit.com/how-to-get-rid-of-tea-stains/
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:41, Reply)
I am a penis.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:41, Reply)
Do you think I could replace white vinegar
with sarsons?
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:43, Reply)
Kind of works with chips.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:45, Reply)
bleach water
put about 1 cup or so of bleach in a sink full of hot water, let your cups soak overnight, wash them in the morning
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:42, Reply)
The consensus seems to be
I have to buy something unless BGBs version works
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:43, Reply)
I thought bleach was a typical household item?
Either way, it's usually cheap, and works wonders.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:46, Reply)
I'm not typically domestic
...unless loo cleaner works?
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:47, Reply)
if it has bleach then probably
I wouldn't recommend it though.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:49, Reply)
a hammer

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:48, Reply)
I HAVE A HAMMER! IT'S GOING TO BE OK!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:49, Reply)
HALT
HAMMERZEIT!
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 20:53, Reply)
a guinea pig dipped in cillit bang

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)
Winna!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)
Bang
and the pig is gone.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)
hehe
Boson is pretty furry like some kind of noisy feather duster
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:07, Reply)
Of course, guinea pig jizz would have been even better.
Had you have not limited your supply!
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)
curses!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:09, Reply)
Pffft.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)
Bleach is good
little bit in each cup, then boiling water and leave for a bit, then scrub
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:13, Reply)
then tomorrow I buy bleach
this will be an historic event
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)
Bleach is always good to have.
You have to bleach your dishcloths now and then.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)
this
it also helps to clean fuck loads of stuff, and disinfects as well
gets rid of mold
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)
*files as 'important thing to know' in brain*

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:24, Reply)
It's probably the best cleaner ever, just bleach and water.
But it's a harsh chemical, use too much and it'll burn you.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)
Rubber gloves FTW!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:30, Reply)
IT COULD BURN YOUR NOSE HAIR AND EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!
make you cough and shit
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)
Based on the many solutions offered here.
It'll probably be cheaper to buy some new mugs from the supermarket value range.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)
this makes me wonder why this domestic dunce is worrying about tea stains.
I mean if one extrapolates from the information presented to date, she likely has bigger problems...
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:18, Reply)
not as such
the tea mug problem affects my tea, though. I bought a mop today, too - things are looking up
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)
See what happens when you start giving people grown up jobs...

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:21, Reply)
shh - you're scaring me!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)
You'll be having dinner parties by christmas.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:23, Reply)
No, can't, don't own a table

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:24, Reply)
No Cavey B3ta bashes for you then.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)
:(
like anyone would come this far anyway
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)
Pfft!
They made it all the way to West Yorkshire for mine.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)
Will you be celebrating your new job by coming to the PIER!!!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)
Do you know whether you'll make it to the weston bash?

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)
She might win a mug on the prize bingo!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)
it's a maybe
depending on how hectic work is then
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:30, Reply)
Well from the sounds of things, you won't be tied up with housework.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:31, Reply)
housework is for suckers

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:32, Reply)
and, unfortunately, grown ups.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)
same here.
Well, we have a table (somewhere under a pile of stock) but no chairs.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)
What do you do if you want to communicate with spirits if you haven't got a table to tip.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)
This is what I do
as I've said before a measure of regard when people came to visit me was if I had bought new mugs
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:18, Reply)
but having too many mugs
means there are more left around the place before you run out and are forced to wash them. I own 4, no more, no less. Same with plates. Only have 3 of those though, I trod on one and now it's a pallette
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:21, Reply)
What if you have 4 friends over for tea, and they all want a sandwich...
What would you do then, eh?
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)
Here ya go Captain!
direct.tesco.com/specials/?Ne=92&Ntt=5480&Ntx=mode%20matchall&Nr=99&N=308%202000448&Ntk=P_SEARCH_Buy_List_IDs
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)
kill one
make friend sandwiches
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)
I like the way you think.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)
I like breasts

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)
Hell yeah!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)
use dishes

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)
But from the photos you posted last week, your dishes live on the floor by your sofa.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)
I'd wash some specially

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)
Denture tablets, apparently
failingthat, you could try rubbing the stain with an abrasive toothpaste. Or a paste of bicarb and water.

Or change all your mugs for dark ones.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)
I'm guessing that Captain would rather buy bleach rather than Denture tablets.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)
denture tablets are essentially just bicarb, anyway.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)
But the stigma b3th. The stigma.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:23, Reply)
"I only buy incontinent pants for the extra padding, it makes the bus ride more comfy"

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)
bicarb of soda
it's in the household aisle.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)
And the baking aisle.
Also useful for taking the nasty smell from fridges.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)
I am learning a lot

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:31, Reply)
Listen to your b3tamummies.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:32, Reply)
have you any other useful information to impart,
b3tamummies?
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)
Yes. Captain really ought to start a new thread.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)
done!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:40, Reply)
sprinkle some on your carpets half an hour before you hoover
it soaks up smells - again, Shake n Vac is essentially just bicarb.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)
and how would you deal with the fact my bedroom smells damp
(it's downstairs because I live on a hill and the house it upside down)
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)
If I were you, I'd stop watching porn in bed.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:38, Reply)
true dat

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)
If I were you my bedroom would smell damp.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)
I would advise you to wank in a different room occasionally

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)
noted

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:40, Reply)
Humidfier or small dishes of bicarb around the bedrooom.
Soaks up the humidity.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)
this bicarb shit sounds amazing
i thought it was just for mixing with vinegar to make volcanoes
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)
Oh, you could have a volcano in every corner!

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:42, Reply)
My brother is a remarkable bellend.
He angrily insists that The Godfather is 'shit', 'overrated' and that 'everyone agrees with him' on that.

He has never seen it and doesn't know anything about it.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)
How can one judge something you've never seen?

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)
Precisely.
Hence my accusations of bellendery.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)
Tell your brother to get to fuck.

(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)
Already did.
But like I say, everybody agrees with his view. Everybody in the remedial class.
(, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)

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