a lot of my conversations start with "so on this website i go on"
I'm going to throw a this out there, its not to do with this thread.
The bff is being weird and saying she needs to talk to me about something but it has to be face to face, and so I asked my dad to watch my dog for me so I could go to her house tonight and he tried to convince me that she's going to try to hurt me. And that there's plenty of people that go to their friends houses without a clue that they're about to be shot and killed. Its doing my head in.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:14, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Shoot her first
it's the only way.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I hate to admit it
but this may be your only course of action.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:17, Reply)

all friendships should be run with the plan in mind

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:19, Reply)

that is literally what my dad said
I think he's losing it
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I fear you may be right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)

She should shoot her dad first, it's the only way

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Basically, she needs to tool up and take out all her old school teachers and fellow pupils.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Also, this morning there was an article in the paper about how some dude attacked his ex girlfriend with a knife and a cop broke in and ended up killing the guy
he used this story to back up his theory, because my friend is "weird" and he's never liked her
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:25, Reply)

You need to shoot all reporters, it's the only way

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:30, Reply)

WITH A KNIFE?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Just call her up and see if she's going to shoot you,
or say you fancy a beer and meet her in a pub.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:23, Reply)

could you imagine a friend saying "hey, my dad thinks you're going to shoot me so he doesn't want me to go over there, I mean, you're not going to are you?"

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Well if she's your best friend then that should be fine
orrrrr say "ummm I had a dream you shot me, please don't shoot me"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

WOT
you'd be a little peeved
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Nah, you can't control your dreams, she'll just think you're being slightly mental.
Better than getting shot.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:32, Reply)

if I die I want you all to know you're probably not invited to my funeral
except for Al, cause he's going to take care of my dog
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:34, Reply)

He'd eat it as a snack.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:37, Reply)

After all I've done for you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Look, it'll be short notice anyway, and you'd have to meet my mom, and she's a bit funny

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:49, Reply)

She is shagging perv boss

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:19, Reply)

i might have to borrow his gun

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)

maybe not a gun
perhaps something more subtle - knuckle dusters, poisoned dagger, that kind of thing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:30, Reply)

this is such short notice, I don't even know where to get either of those

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:31, Reply)

foxgloves in your/your neighbours garden?
I think that makes poison digi-something. Pretty sure you could find another alternative on the internet, but that will leave a trace. The dagger doesn't need to be classy - kitchen knife will do. Knuckle dusters - fat, sharp rings.

Bit worried how easily that plan formed to be honest
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:34, Reply)

you should probably just make sure anything you take
can be explained away and used in defence.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:35, Reply)

digitalis

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:35, Reply)

you're used to battling foes

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I never really do the planning, though
I'm more one for standing behind shields and just twatting the dude someone tells me to twat
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:38, Reply)

I think you should protect yourself
Have you ever considered visiting a gun show.?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:30, Reply)

second time you've made me laugh in a couple of minutes
give yourself a congratulatory pat on the back
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:39, Reply)

+ whilst belming furiously.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:43, Reply)