Alt: My boss has just informed me that he now wants toilet rolls and hand rolls to be kept under lock and key.
And if people want them, they have to ask the relevant boss. I think he's trying to turn us into a primary school, it's ludicrous!

EDIT: Sorry, I meant if they want replacements, they have to ask.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:44, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Boss, boss! I need a really big poo!
Can I have some toilet roll please? And the Daily Star?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:45, Reply)

That's idiotic.
Plus if you're a bloke and you ask for toilet roll then everyone in the office is going to know that you're going for a massive shit.

Or a wank.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Or both simultaneously.
"twin win"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)

You could have a race
to see which substance exited the body the fastest.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)

REO speedwank.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Simply wipe your shit all over the walls

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:47, Reply)

In one of my old offices somebody actually did that.
The dirty bastard. We reckon it was fat Eric, a man so gargantuan that it is quite conceivable that he could accidentally smear his shit-stained buttocks against the cubicle wall whilst turning around to get the bog roll.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:50, Reply)

oh gross
when I was in elementary school someone was using their poo to write vulgar words
the principal had a talk with all the 5th grade girls
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Our manager called all the blokers into his office to voice his disgust.
Fat Eric looked a little bit uncomfortable...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Cos he'd cacked his breeks

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Dirty protest

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Don't think he can do that,
www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/indg293.pdf
have to provide toilet paper and sanitary disposal for the "ho's". If they haven't got free access (if someone's working late or their manager is away) then it's breaking the guidelines.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Truly your knowledge of khazi disposables policy is unrivalled on this forum, sir.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I googled.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)

I feel let down.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)

You should start keeping your empty rolls from home
then, each time you get one from your boss, give him back an empty one.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:53, Reply)

he should use an entire roll for each movement

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)

AD&Dlols

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:08, Reply)

ah, I was trying to make
a classical composer joke from it. I think I overthought it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:09, Reply)

I was amazed that I beat you to a roleplay joke
This explains it. There's no room for clever folks 'ere
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:11, Reply)

my brain's in a higher* place right now
*disjointed/free-associating/floaty
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:12, Reply)

You've just finished wanking?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:16, Reply)

finished?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I'm wanking, thinking about Darth wanking while thinking about you wanking.
Wankception!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:23, Reply)

*clicks*
*meta-wanks*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Click
Mainly because it implies you're wanking over me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:24, Reply)