evening chums!
I am back - did anyone notice I was gone?

Edinburgh is full of man totty - why can't I pull any, blousie?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:36, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Welcome back Captain.
Did you see owt funny when you were away?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:38, Reply)

English people asking for directions
that's pretty funny in Embra.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:40, Reply)

loadsa stuff
also a man in a elizabeth the 1st dress wittering on about elizabeth the first to 8 audience members who are delicately poised between terrified and bored out of their skull
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)

I know who that was
And If I could call his name to mind...... But I can't, but he's good.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:44, Reply)

it was terrible
really really boring and you are wrong
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Fuck off Bert.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:48, Reply)

Simon Munnery!

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:47, Reply)

no
it was this www.edinburghfestivals.co.uk/events/queens-speech
we went by accident, we were meant to see something funny in a different room. THis was not funny
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:49, Reply)

OK, not who I was thinking of
May have been crap then.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)

it wasn't even meant to be funny
it had no point, nothing. Afterwards we saw a funny guy so it was all OK
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

yeah, but.......
Something insulting about leaks..... I dunno I'm tired and I wanna go to bed.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)

I'm tireder

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)

well, what are you doing on here then?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)

eating freezer pizza
and chilling out from the trip back. What are you doing here?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)

Go to bed.

( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)

I can't, I'm on a train.
Home soon though.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)

Then go straight to bed. Do not pass go and do not collect £100.

( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:07, Reply)

Yes mum.
in bed now.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)

You'll get a treat then.
Because you've been a good boy.
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Is it chocolate?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:25, Reply)

It will be sweet.
Other than that I haven't decided yet.
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:26, Reply)

*happyface*

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:29, Reply)

He's fucking dismal.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)

You musn't have been wearing your fingering pants.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)

i gotta get me some of those

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)

Perhaps use your five finger discount

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:42, Reply)

hey hey!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:44, Reply)

I was pretty proud of that

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)

Fuck off Bert.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)

was I really gone so long?
what did I miss?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:42, Reply)

Oh God, whose ludicrous sockpuppet is this?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:44, Reply)

*dances ridiculously*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Evening Darth.
I knew you couldn't keep this up for long*


*your missus told me about your 'difficulties' in that 'area'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:51, Reply)

Try Kroney
He's vulnerable and on the 'bound.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)

I also hear he's
a perfect specimin of manhood. According to him
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:42, Reply)

Look, I'm not all that, I've blown my own trumpet perhaps slightly too loudly.
But make no mistake, even sweaty and shivery and shaky and feverish, you still would.

Twice.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)

Even with Rory's finger up my twitching ring.

( Kroney, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Well, OK, maybe not then
But I'm HOT
( Kroney, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Seriously, I am.
I'm running a terrible temperature.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:47, Reply)

Paracetamol
and sleep. Be a sensible boy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)

I'm getting on the scotch
break it with sticks.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:51, Reply)

You still need paracetamol.
It'll bring down your temperature.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:52, Reply)

open a window, then

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:47, Reply)

You're like me.
You'll get lucky eventually : )
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:44, Reply)

STOP THE PRESS YOU'RE BEING FINGERED ??????

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)

WHO?????

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)

WHEN????

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)

WHERE???

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

DO YOU THINK YOU'LL GET MARRIED??

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

HAS HE GOT A BIG PENIS??

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

I MEAN IN HIS PANTS...

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:47, Reply)

CAN HE PRESS, LIKE, 100KG?

( Kroney, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:48, Reply)

I didn't mean that.
I meant she's unlucky like me.
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:49, Reply)

NOT IN A JAR IN HIS FRIDGE, THAT WOULD BE WEIRD.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:48, Reply)

COME ON BIGGERS SPILL THE HOT GOSS
I'M THE SOUL OF DISCRETION
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)

OH BIGGERS :(

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:52, Reply)

IS HE A B3TA BOY, YOU'RE NOT A LEZZER AGAIN ARE YOU?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)

IF SO DID YOU BUST HIS VIRGINITY?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)

DOES HIS MUM LET HIM OUT AFTER 7?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:54, Reply)

HOW MANY WHEELIES CAN HE DO IN HIS WHEELCHAIR??

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:55, Reply)

It could be
this place is heaving with sweaty internet virgins.
Isn't it, Rory?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:55, Reply)

Your time will come b3th, have you tried e-baying your certified hymen to a Saudi prince yet?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

lol

( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:57, Reply)

They're not interested.
I'm obviously not a delicate enough flower...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)

It doesn't help that you're over 14 granted, you might have to settle for a slightly cheaper Nigerian prince
Don't give him your bank account details, cash up front
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)

I do have a prospect in line
Coincidentally enough, he is from Nigeria. He happens to be - and you won't believe this - the son of a deposed general. He says if I help him get his father's millions into the country, he'll let me have half of it.

Isn't that nice of him?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)

Sounds sweet

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)

You have no soul.
I picture you as Torquemada.
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:52, Reply)

I bloody hope so
how low do i have to set my standards?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)

Raise them.
That's the trick.
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 21:49, Reply)

i suspect it will have
little impact
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 22:14, Reply)