Guess what I'm having for breakfast? THE LAST SLICE.
I accidently had ALL OF IT over the last few days. I didn't mean not to leave them a crumb, and I'll have sturn words with myself next time I get on the scales and it goes "One at a time, please", but it's totally worth it.

OH MAN, PRODUCT IDEA
A set of scales, where every stone it says words instead of numbers, like
1st - "Take your toe off and just step on it"
2st - "You're supposed to use both feet"
3st - "C'mon jackass, you know how to use this thing"
...
9st - "G'wan, have a pie, you could do with it"
10st - "I can see your ribs when you breath in"
11st - "Unless you're a midget, you're a sexy bitch"
...
15st - "Six pack? More like a keg"
16st - "Eating for two? ,)"
17st - "Comfort eating again?"
18st - "One at a time"
19st - "Most elivators can only take two of you"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:03, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I would buy that.

( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:04, Reply)

I'm in. but I will need forty percent.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Fucking brilliant idea
How about one that you could record insults in should you go over a certain weight?

15 stone - "Morning you fat, lardy CUNT!"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:05, Reply)

20 stone - "AAAAAAARGH, GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Or a proximity sensor?
"Don't even fucking think about it. Get your fat arse out for a jog!"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I think mine already has one of them.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:11, Reply)

some kind of gravity sensor?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Come within 5 feet, and this goes off
nooooooooooooooo.com/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)

hahaha
I want that as my doorbell
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:23, Reply)

"You do know I'm not an industrial machine"
"Oh great, someone's put me in a zoo"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Needs a celebrity voice
or two, one bad and one good. George Clooney* says positive things and Rowan Atkinson says negative things. Double reinforcement!

*I dunno, who's a sexy man these days ladies?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)