I've got a bacon and egg bap being delivered to me shortly
Frankly, cheering the rest of you up is a spectacularly diminished priority.

Morning everyone. I trust you slept well?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:44, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Like a pissed rock.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:45, Reply)

FUCK YOU

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:45, Reply)

and the horse you rode in on

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Hang about sir
You can't be mean about horses. Not round these 'ere parts
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I don't trust horses
they are bitey at the front, kicky at the back and covered in flies in between
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:52, Reply)

You will never know sexual pelasure in Norfolk

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I may however know 'sexual pleasure'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Not for another few years I fancy

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)

How is your button?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:46, Reply)

STILL ON
I'm wearing the shirt today. The location of the button is around the stomach area, so if I've fucked up the sewing everyone in my department will be violently ill. I'm walking the tightrope, Al
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Yes thanks, between about 5am and 6:45 I did.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Am I to understand that you and your birthday twin had a "large one"?
FNARR
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Medium sized.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:52, Reply)

So a medium sized night ends at 5am?
I'm looking at the internet skeptically right now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)

The night ended about 1, I just didn't get to sleep straight away.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Ouch
Sorry to hear that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I fucking am too old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I reckon there's got to be a link between usage of b3ta and sleep deprivation
Too many of us suffer from frequent insomnia for it to be a coincidence.

Same as the "huge penis" thing.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)

It was a small one.
It only finished at 5am because he had to get a BUS home.

A fucking BUS. I ask you?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:56, Reply)

How awfully plebeian

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)

He's fibbing
As if there are buses at 5am
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)

he got the bus at 1am
but he had to suck off all of the scumbags he met on there
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:04, Reply)

SYFTS - the human vacuum

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I wasn't the one sucking the scumbags off on a BUS. I'll refer you to m'learned colleague.
I was speeding the through the night in a London Taxi.

Not on a bus that smelt like a horses jacksy.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I did mean Monty when I said he was sucking people off

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Darth called me a human vacuum Vippers.
I mean, unless he was talking about MD's.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:13, Reply)

It was an honest mistake and I apologise
SYFTS - the human centipede
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:15, Reply)

You caught a taxi in London? Without anyone to share the fare?
Drinks are on you after the game in January then. Tickets, too.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:13, Reply)

*gets out wad*
*shoves £50 in Darth's knickers*

Get yourself something nice, treacle.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Thank you sugar daddy *bats eyelashes*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:16, Reply)

you really do not help yourself

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:17, Reply)

You think?
Was that... a bit gay?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:21, Reply)

I know, right?
You have to queue in the street to get on them, apparently.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Like a common harlot?
Appalling.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:08, Reply)

There were supermodels, I'm telling you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Lies!
Everyone knows that supermodels only travel by Honda Accord.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Not these randy bitches.
Honest to God I was fighting them off with their own discarded lingerie.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Yeah shut up.
I was home in fifteen minutes because I don't live in the fucking countryside like certain benders.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Cuntryside?
You want to come to Lewisham and say that?

Fucking carrott crunchers coming to London from fuck knows where, stealing our oxygen.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:05, Reply)

I do not wish to come to Lewisham and say that -
or indeed anything else, except 'please, please get me out of this ghastly shithole and take me back to fashionable central London, I beg you'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)

you should go to Lewisham and eat at Mese Mengal
or whatever it is called

you should also listen to this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LERQdakduxQ
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I cannot whilst at work, sadly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:13, Reply)

shame
I think you will enjoy these people. They have done a creditable job of making it sound like they are making music in the 70s
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I agree
If there is a contemporary band producing credible music that would appeal to Monty, then these are it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)

indeed

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Good stuff

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)

have you heard King Khan and the Shrines?
Similarly 70's style.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:35, Reply)

STOP THE PRESS
My bacon and egg bap on white bread with brown sauce has arrived.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I also think that stopping the press is a really good idea.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Sloppy egg?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Of course
I repeat: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 10:00, Reply)