I've just cleaned the oven
but now I can't use it for like half an hour because I've got to boil a lemon in it or some shit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 13:54, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So lunch will consist of raw sausages and a potato

(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Use the microwave.
Alternately, if you're eating Pot Noodles, use the kettle.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 6 Sep 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Potato in the microwave. Sausages in the toaster.
Hey presto, sausage and mash.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Fry the sausage and small chunks of potato in a frying pan, add some beaten eggs and hey presto!

( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Hey presto!
You have a bowl of food that looks precisely like vomit!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Pfft! not if presented with a small peice of parsley as a garnish.

( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Hardly Haute Cuisine is it. ;-)

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Thanks for the helpful advice guys,
but unusually for an internet person I can wait an hour for food. I have whisky.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Whisky will get you through times of no food,
better than food will get you through times of no whisky.

Ta to The Freak Brothers.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)

I'm surprised no-one ever made a terminally shit Freak Brothers film

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

No modern actor has a suitable nose

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:34, Reply)

I have a cold and a week off work
Hot toddys are allowed.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:06, Reply)

WATERPROOF TROUSERS WARNING
If you don't have one of these already, get one before you start using it again:

www.lakeland.co.uk/3318/Magic-Oven-Liner?src=gpsol&gclid=CMDhiODViKsCFUQMfAodfzVu2Q
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 13:57, Reply)

We got one but didn't bother to clean the oven before using it.
Plus I did the deep cleany type with taking the glass out and that shit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Those plastic bag cleaning kits are excellent too.
You put the shelves in the bag with a chemical and leave it overnight - then when you rinse them off they look like brand new with zero scrubbing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I'm listening to Jimmy Eat World
/tries desperatly to change the subject.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Got any top tips for shifting a particularly stubborn poo-slide?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:06, Reply)

1. Take The Truth Fairy's face
2. Scrub it repeatedly in the shit-streak, bellowing 'THE CHOCCY HORROR SHOW! RICHARD THE TURD PART THREE! THE CURSE OF POO MANCHU! STIG OF THE DUMP!!!! etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

*takes notes*
"Hey TTF, does this rag smell of chloroform?"
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

"It wer the best nine nurts ah evah spent" - Hilda Crutchitch, The North.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Tin foil is cheaper
Even allowing for needing replacement occasionally.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Spoken like a true New Cross GATE cheapskate.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Damn right.
I didn't not rise to these dizzy heights by throwing my money away. Take note Lewisham Lad.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)

I aspire to live closer to a Sainsburys than a Lidl.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)

As well you should young man, as well you should.
*may shop at lidl*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

That's SE London for you...
Assuming the Lidl wasn't looted out
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

IT WAS!!
No fucking aspiration, the kids today.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Hey, I live considerably closer to Sainsburys than Lidl
and Aldi, come to that
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

That's because you are upper class and live in a quality area.
I live in a riot stricken slum, that on Saturday morning resembles downtown Abuja.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

This is true

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

for those who care:
Sainsburys - 0.3 miles
Aldi - 0.5 Miles
Lidl - 1.1 miles
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

*longs for the days of Lighty's storage box posts*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Man, those were the days.
The internet is fucking shit today.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I am however 1.8 miles from the nearest M&S
so not proper posh.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:23, Reply)

and being, as I am, only 0.8 miles from Morrisons
I fear I may live in The North.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

On balance I live in Coronation Street over New Cross

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 14:27, Reply)