Pardon me for interrupting
but if anyone can help me out here, it's you clever people.

I'm currently a checkout zombie at a heartless supermarket. Got myself an application form for a Wickes closer to home but am a bit lost at one of the questions. 'Give an example of how you've created a rapport with a difficult person'. Is this talking 'are you going to be a twat in the staff canteen' or does it translate to 'How are you with bitchy customers?'

I'm not really sure what they want from me with this one.

And... a question for you. Er, what's your biggest interview mistake?
( Bats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 15:43, 50 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

The latter I would suspect.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Just recount the story of Lethal weapon pretending you're Danny Glover's character.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 15:48, Reply)

It was either this
or quote some Mephistopheles at them as I've just recently seen Doctor Faustus.
( Bats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Don't do this.
They might think you are over qualified.

Dribble and grunt during silences.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 15:58, Reply)

I shall remember this.

( Bats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:07, Reply)

They want to know if you can chat up the tramps in the car park
biggest interview mistake...never made one, I'm always prepared and I am a confident and interesting interviewee.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 15:59, Reply)

zzzzzzzzzzz

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Whatever, you would beg me to work for me if you were interviewing me
I'ma right catch
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:00, Reply)

I am sure you think that is true.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Also, reach for the stars baby, reach for the stars...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 15:59, Reply)

My experience of Wickes customer service was thus:
I bought a belt sander, it exploded the next day, I had managed to misplace the receipt but I did have a copy of my credit card statement.

On explaining the situation the dosy bint at the counter said I would have to send it back to the manufacturer as they weren't responsible. I explained how the sale of goods act actually made it her problem, not the manufacturer and eventually I got my refund.

She then threw in that she would only do this once and I said I was happy never to shop here again, at which point she said "That's fine we've got lots of customers"

I complained to head office and they sent me £20 of Wickes vouchers.



So make up a similar story about how you didn't behave like a retarded monkey and instead tried to make sure the customer was happy and you should be a shoe in.

Also, are you new? Hello if you are.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 15:59, Reply)

See, I've used the Sales Of Goods act before
to scare the crap out of shops and I know damn well when customers should complain. It's got to the point at my current job where I've been encouraging people to quote the S.O.G at customer services because they've been fobbed off. Makes me angry that people waste their money.

Also - not new per se, but a serious lurker. Got scared off /talk for being a whingy teenager and don't pop up very often. :)
( Bats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Well, you've come to the right place.
We're the best part of b3ta.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:06, Reply)

I tried so hard to like /talk
but I quickly gave up on the idea. There's nice people there, but I'm just not cut out for it.

I suppose I should start filling this form in again. I hope they at least bloody interview me for my trouble.
( Bats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:10, Reply)

I flit over there from time to time
But I prefer it here.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:23, Reply)

Stop lulling the noob into a false sense of security and just call them a cunt, Al.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:04, Reply)

Who you calling a cunt, twat?
Oh, me. I see.
( Bats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:06, Reply)

I had a good experience with their customer service
they took back some laminate flooring I didn't need, and bent over backwards to give me my refund.

Swings and roundabouts I suppose
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:09, Reply)

oh wait, it was B&Q

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:10, Reply)

See.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Dealing with shitty customers is a pain
As for my biggest mistake, I was 45 minutes late for an interview.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:01, Reply)

The ability to fix a smile
while visualising their skull exploding is an art you soon pick up.
( Bats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:04, Reply)

The upside to only dealing with customers over the phone now is that I don't have to smile!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:06, Reply)

I didn't get a job once
because after the interview I met my boyfriend who worked in the same building, in the canteen for 5 minutes before leaving.

Apparently it was somehow unfair to other interviewees.
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:07, Reply)

That's a bit weird.
I mean, unless you were going for the same department and he was giving you trade... No, even trade secrets doesn't make sense.
( Bats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:08, Reply)

not even the same company, the interviewer didn't know he was my boyfriend
she just saw me in the canteen and gave that as an excuse not to give me the job. It was weird, cos I thought the interview went brilliantly before then
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:10, Reply)

Maybe she had a crush on said boyfriend
and had a hissyfit because she thought she'd lose out. People can be weird.
( Bats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:13, Reply)

she was 60 odd, he's 24
stop trying to make excuses, she was a mental, simple as that
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Oh fair play.
It wasn't so much excuses as trying to reason out such weird behaviour. Some people just need a good shake.
( Bats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:18, Reply)

ke g
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Got my cock out and waggled my eyebrows.
In fairness, the interviewer was a woman, ergo she fancied me.

I had, however, forgotten about the glass wall. Some guy (it had to be a guy, why would a woman complain?) grassed me up to HR.

Didn't get the job. Most unfair. Office politics, innit.
( Kroney, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:10, Reply)

Probably a lesbian.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Bloody feminists.

( Kroney, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:18, Reply)

I was being interviewed for dole having gotten sacked and waited the proscribed
period before being allowed to become dolescum.

The whippersnapper Job Centre person asked if I had looked on the electronic boards and I explained there was nothing suitable and that I was making alternative arrangements to get employment.

She was quite adamant I look and a bit stroppy at my resistance and said she wasn't sure if she could proceed with the payment of dole to me.

I remonstrated with her saying she was "taking the piss" and that I used to "pay more in tax a month than you take home".

Needless to say, it was plain sailing after that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Hah, dear god I remember the dole.
Never again. Never ever. By the end of long term unemployment, I signed myself off as I was sick of being fucked about. I quoted 'sheer incompetence' and 'I'd rather take my chances' as my reasoning. This was read aloud in front of me by an otherwise innocent dole worker lady, and I almost felt guilty. Almost.

I did go check the boards today, found nothing and was hit full in the face by the misery that the jobcentre harbours. It's like it seeps into the soft furnishings.
( Bats, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Just got to keep plugging away.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Say 'I served a Paki once - didn't hit him once'
They love that multicultural shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:21, Reply)

"Hit him twice instead, LOL"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Especially if the Wickes you are applying to is in Bradford.
Anyway Monters, Internet Hardnuts Hardcore Hard Lunch.

It's on the Saturday, would 2pm be an unreasonable time for you?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Bit later pls.
Maybe 4.

I'm going to have to DJ for about 5hrs later so I could do with not hitting the beers 'til a bit later if possible.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:28, Reply)

I believe Jeff's not getting into Town until about 2:30
if that helps.
( Kroney, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:30, Reply)

It does.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:31, Reply)

In that case 2pm sounds like a much better time
But if you insist I shall make it 4pm.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Excellent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:35, Reply)

After leaving university
(I did Biomedical science) I applied for a job in the Biochemistry department of Bristol University. 1st questions to settle me into the interview, theey asked me if I did biochemistry as part of my degree, I said yes I did. Then thy asked what I enjoyed the most. I sat there like a goldfish with dementia I could not think of a single thing to do with biochemistry, I began to panic and in my panic stricken brain I couldn't think of a single topic I had been taught....ever. My mind was empty apart from thinkofsomthingtosaythinkofsomthingtosaythinkofsomthingtosaythinkofsomthingtosaythinkofsomthingtosaythinkofsomthingtosay.
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:38, Reply)

i've got pretty much every job i went for
so you could probably say it's the interviewers who have made the mistakes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Alright?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:42, Reply)

no
first day back at work after 6 days off and it's manic, and thesis deadline for masters is this week, so urrrrgh. but by wednesday i will be fine!!

you? x
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 16:43, Reply)

No. Me neither.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 17:04, Reply)

I probably got too cocky
at my last interview - when I had to do the demo lesson for the panel, one said "oo, I'd like to study photography" to which I did a weird double pointing thing and said "I'll sign you up later!"

got the job, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 18:31, Reply)