i have just seen all your cruel comments about raging homo's on the previous thread
YOU ALL SUCK

i have to teach my trainee daily. the new one is only 2 days old. she needs a lot of teaching.

my boss has to teach me daily. sometimes he thinks i am about 2 days old.

teachers - my mum, grandparents, brother, cousin... all teachers.

altaltalt: because you touch yourself at night.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:59, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm amazed she can do much more than shit herself and cry at two days old.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:01, Reply)

we're not all "academics" darling
some of us have hard-core jobs...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Whoa, hang on
are you saying some people burst into this world as fully-formed lawyers? Fucking hell. Scary.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:06, Reply)

no, i was saying she was a "2 day old lawyer". not a 2 day old person.
but your interpretation is better.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:07, Reply)

pssst. I had realised that. I was "trying some comedy"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:11, Reply)

well, best for all of us that you don't, eh?
save the comedy for your pink socks...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Oh, those aren't comedy
Those are deadly serious.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:15, Reply)

comedy is in the eye of the beholder

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Does the fact that I didn't join in make me more likely to get rebound nookie when it all ends as we know it will?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:01, Reply)

no
if and when this one ends, i am taking holy orders
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

priests prefer boys, though.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Oh well, as long as no one else is getting any either....

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:04, Reply)

be fair
most of us were questioning his odd choice of tattoo rather than his sexual pecadillos.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I have no interest in his peculiar pets, myself.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

hmmmmm
for every tattoo, there will be someone who thinks it is an odd choice!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:06, Reply)

I thought you despised tattoos?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:07, Reply)

i do
and piercings. but it's his body, i can only smile sweetly. i can't quite get on board with the nipple ring either........
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:12, Reply)

make him lift weights with it.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

my watch did once forget it was there when giving him a massage
seems i should have taken it off first... my comment of "is the strap ok, it's a gucci" was not taken in the spirit it was intended......
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:14, Reply)

+prostate
+on
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:19, Reply)

I didn't even have to pause to see where those went

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Guggi strap-on
to go with the Louis Vitton marble and onyx fisting plinth?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:42, Reply)

He's the one who sucks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:02, Reply)

you can be cruel
so cruel
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I'm trying to help you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:09, Reply)

humph
men! why are you soooo hard to understand?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

It is hard to understand the nature and intentions of your superiors.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

huh?
i'm not a nun yet...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:15, Reply)

If you went anywhere near a convent, you'd probably spontaneously combust.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:16, Reply)

She couldn't do it anyway
There's no brand of uniform for Nuns.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:19, Reply)

True.
She could look in Habitat though.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:21, Reply)

*golf claps*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:38, Reply)

me?
why? 80 year old whiskery minge that hasn't been touched for 60 years is not likely to do it for me.

it'd be like peeling apart a cheese toastie.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Like so?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:35, Reply)

We're very straightforward.
Apart from your chap, who is frequently bentforward.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:20, Reply)

arrrrgh
not gay not gay not gay....

mostly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Hahahah
It was the late, very great Joseph Goebbels who once said 'If you repeat a lie often enough it becomes true'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Just let him do you up the wrong'un
it's the only way to keep him.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Is this one allowed bacon?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

no
but luckily his dad is muslim so he's never been allowed it and doesn't know what he's missing!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:05, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1351232
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:09, Reply)

I wonder do teenage Muslims
sneak into the fields at night and devour whole hams in acts of teenage recklessness.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Whoa ,, where do you live?
If there are fields full of whole hams I want some of that..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Ham-shire?
Paging The Truth Fairy.
And leaving the internet.... now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

what the gibbering fuck are you on about?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Shit food puns are not your department, then?
Or are you merely too cretinous to realise that this was what he was driving at?

So:

a) you're not funny or
b) you're monumentally thick

Which?

Clear enough now?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Don't forget the sausages.
And the bacon rubbers.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:11, Reply)