It's early so no doubt this thread won't get any replies for a while
Yesterday we found out that b69 used to be a chef, a proper one and everything.

Tell the group something about yourself that we don't already know

Alt:
Make up something entertaining
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 7:09, 91 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am not really Chinese
The slanty eyed bastards.
(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 7:19, Reply)

Your grace, it is an honour to have you on our site.
I haven't been to Windsor castle for a while, but next time I do I'll give you a shout. Regards to the missus.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:29, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:36, Reply)

Guinness, when combined with a meatball marinara from Subway
Makes me do the worst farts known to man. Seriously, it's like something crawled up my arse and died.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 7:26, Reply)

You're up early.

(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 7:39, Reply)

Early shift mate.
Need to hop on a train to see friends this evening, and this is as good as a day off to me.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 7:40, Reply)

It's 2.40pm here
And I am trying to think of some promo headlines, and a synonym for "share" that is "more dynamic and edgy".
(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 7:43, Reply)

Share and enjoy?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 7:48, Reply)

*starts writing it down*
Good, keep it going!!
(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 7:52, Reply)

'pissflaps'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:32, Reply)

synergise?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I used to be a man.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:08, Reply)

So that's why you bummed me

(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:11, Reply)

Sorry about that.
Testosterone kicked in.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:31, Reply)

testosterone back doors
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:31, Reply)

*walks about like John Wayne*

(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:42, Reply)

I'm half gipsy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:30, Reply)

Which half?

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:31, Reply)

The left.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Is the "Big Monty" your former prison nickname?
Morning, by the way.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Yes.
EDIT and morning
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:35, Reply)

Does this corned beef smell of chloroform to you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:32, Reply)

No, it smells of the despair of hundreds of cattle as they are let to slaughter.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:33, Reply)

Nevermind that, come and have a look inside this horsebox.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:34, Reply)

Do you like bread?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:35, Reply)

I prefer meat and two veg.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Does this make you gay then?
I'm confused
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:49, Reply)

*understands*
*confused*
What about the norks though?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Women have breasts, you see

(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Show me

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:53, Reply)

I have worked as a chef too
But not a proper one - for a pub/restaurant in the Brewer's Fayre chain.
You know instantly that they are shit by their use of the word "fayre". Most dishes were prepared with either a microwave or a deep-fat fryer.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:37, Reply)

A deep-fat 'fryre', surely?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:37, Reply)

Haha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Brew's Fair - Food Shite

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:42, Reply)

I used to be a Gong Farmer
Only joking, I still am, but I just do it for the nightsoilolz.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Been out picking yet?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:42, Reply)

Not yet
Got my massive haul last year around the 25th of September. Its been wet as fuck up here, so hopefully that will be a good omen.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:48, Reply)

I am counting on you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:50, Reply)

I would rather you refrained from that, the stanley knived tally marks are beginning to sting

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Sorry, it's a habit I picked up in prison.
Along with several others.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Are you showering again?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:00, Reply)

I have no idea what a Gong Farmer is
I'm assuming magic mushrooms?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Google is your friend.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:50, Reply)

*bokes*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Indeed
Natures psychedelic gift. Highly recommended!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Worryingly they do nothing at all to me
Not a thing
*sadfaces*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Up the dose, you massive woofter.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)

I had fucking loads!
My mates were off their faces. I just ended up drinking shedloads and smoking many joints instead
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)

UP THE DOSE.
Maybe your friends are bent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:56, Reply)

I ate all the dose!
There was no more dose!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:56, Reply)

UP. THE. DOSE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:58, Reply)

UP. THE. DOSE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:58, Reply)

I thought that

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Sportscow - He's telling you to snort them, but has a heavy cold

(Cave Duck, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:07, Reply)

*aahhhh*
*DODDINGHAMS*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:10, Reply)

You're really old.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I concede this point
as I am only one year younger than Monty Methuselah
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:15, Reply)

It's OK, I'm old too, otherwise I wouldn't have known what you are talking about.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:16, Reply)

*feels better*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:18, Reply)

*raises hand*
Yup, old enough to get the reference here too.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:19, Reply)

You're named after a Bob Dylan song.
Your age was never in doubt...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Oh... yeah
Now if you could just help me lower my hand young man...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:32, Reply)

I once saw my sister's cunt at the swimming baths when her pants fell down

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:43, Reply)

That's, like, so gay

(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:44, Reply)

It is also a slight lie
I dont have a sister
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:45, Reply)

That's not the way she tells it

(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:47, Reply)

A slight lie?
So who's sister was it?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:47, Reply)

yours

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:48, Reply)

That was you?
Oh man, she had to spend ages with that nice police lady, pointing to various parts of her doll.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Especially round the back

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:49, Reply)

+blow up
"What's that hole for?"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:51, Reply)

lurvin

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Single? Good looking? Desperate enough?
/ac
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:02, Reply)

In year 7, I got 32% in Maths, the lowest in the year.
In year 8, I got 86%, joint second highest in the year.
In year 9, I came top of the year.
In year 10, I dropped out of the top 20 (granted, we did merge with another school at this point).

Just shows, the right teacher can vastly improve your experiences in their lessons.

Alt: Samuel L. Jackson is glad Gary Gygax is dead, thought he didn't know him well. It turns out, that as his polar opposite, they would have had to fight, had they ever met.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:50, Reply)

I was the first person in our school to get 100% in a chemistry exam

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:51, Reply)

'Sportscow is 100% a bender - no doubt at all'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:53, Reply)

You asked me to put it in "there"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)

This is pure 'Au'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Pure Cobalt Carbon Potassium more like

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 8:56, Reply)

You're in your element here.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:00, Reply)

I saw the chance and Caesium-ed it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:01, Reply)

We're going to have to iron out these puns.
Who knows what it'll lead to?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Speed has no effect on me until I smoke
trufax
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:02, Reply)

That's rather strange.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Indeed
I dont even smoke either.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Your nervous system is bollocksed, old boy.
Sorry to be the bearer etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:16, Reply)

I no rite
Its all fucked up big style.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Use My Arsehole Like An Aunt
(Sorry, just had to get that out of my system after it popped into my head just as I went to bed last night. I'm not starting a whole new set)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:27, Reply)

OOH OOH OOH
:0
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)

c'mon and do the conga

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:20, Reply)