A man comes home from work to find his wife propping up the washing machine with 2 bricks
"what on earth are you doing?" he asked

she replies "a wash a thirty degrees, you thick c**t"
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:26, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

That is actually not bad

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:29, Reply)

a man is seeing his son off on his first date
"don't forget to wear one of those things..." he says as his son heads done the garden path.
"you mean a condom?"

"no a hat, you little ginger shit"
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Also not bad

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:32, Reply)

After hours of troubled labour a woman finally gives birth,
the newborn is rushed out of the room followed by medical staff. After an hour the doctor comes back in.
"I'm afraid I've got some good news and some bad news for you." he says.
"oh god I'll have the bad news first please doctor"
"well I'm afraid your son was born ginger" he says sadly
"oh no, that's terrible how could this happen, but what's the good news?" she says welling up.
"he died"
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:35, Reply)

oof

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:36, Reply)

*jazz hands*

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:59, Reply)

^ your best post to date by far.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:45, Reply)

the bar was set fairly low by the motherfucking puns, in all fairness

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:48, Reply)

^FACT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Spag-ney and Lacey

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Sister-cian Monks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Monk is a tv show, but I don't get this one at all

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Gaddchester

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:53, Reply)

Michael Jackson - 'Gadd'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Dave Clark Five - 'Gadd All Over'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Status Quo
Gadding All Over The World
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Gadd About You

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Gadd Men

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:59, Reply)

It's a Gadd, Gadd, Gadd, Gadd World

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Gadurday Night's Alright for Gadding.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Agadin.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:01, Reply)

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida
...hang on
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Tune.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:05, Reply)

Far from the Gadding Crowd

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Nurse Gaddis Emanuel.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:05, Reply)

Saint Francis of Ass-sis-i

( Kroney, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:51, Reply)

The Scissor Sisters

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Sister Sledge

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:51, Reply)

The Under(age)tones

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Cock off.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I don't get this one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:55, Reply)

you don't get off cock?
you must be dreadfully sore
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:56, Reply)

I don't get off on fucking my underage sister.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:58, Reply)

The Final Bertdown.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:05, Reply)

Pointer Sisters

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:53, Reply)

Stick to the food/tv puns Truthbert
I really like them, they really really make me laugh.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:30, Reply)

You dropped this (!)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:30, Reply)

thanks I'll take your advice under consideration
Sesame Seedtreet
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Hello
Englebert Hump-a-sister.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Indeed.
Hello there, Twisted Sister (fucker).
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:43, Reply)

keep it up
i am looking forward to a good bertdown.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Indeed
It would be worthy of Shakespeare's (sister fucker).
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:45, Reply)

oh come on
even if you aren't bert, which i doubt, you could at least do us all a favour and have a bertdown.

this place needs moar drama today.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:44, Reply)

I'm not sure I know how to have a bertdown
if you give me a little info I'll do my best
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:50, Reply)

My shoulder hurts.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:51, Reply)

have you tried calomine lotion?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:52, Reply)

It's more muscular than skin related.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:53, Reply)

long hot bath, cup of tea, sorted

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:53, Reply)

The thing is, Bert,
no matter how many sockpuppet accounts or whatever you try, the problem won't go away. You're still you, and you're still a nonce.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Wow

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:21, Reply)

You could just Change your name to Bert
it would be ironic, or something.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:24, Reply)

just kick and scream and yell pointless insults
then admit you are bert and... that's about it really.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Errr, what about 'post graphic porn'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Is that like 'Post modern art'?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:26, Reply)

It's interesting to think how you could make porn 'post-graphic'.
Would it just be less explicit, or wholly non-visual.....
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Non visual porn.
That's just sex with the lights out.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:31, Reply)

I tend to agree.
I even wandered over to /talk out of boredom. it was odd, they seemed quite nice.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:50, Reply)

No matter how little work I have to do in a day
/talk still manages to move to fast for me to ever be able to spend any time there.

They could actually all be firefighters, peace activists, nobel prize winners and kitten protectors for all I know.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 16:57, Reply)

you're kidding, right?
it's about ten times as slow now as it was only a couple of years ago. Mostly because all that's left there are a few good people clinging on and Mono and MW having mental breakdowns in public. And Baldmonkey, obviously.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Well OK
it used to move too fast and I never went back, so I didn't realise it had slowed down.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:02, Reply)

So far, they seem surprisingly nicer than people on here.
One of them even knows a fair bit about motorhead.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:15, Reply)

I think I'll stick here anyway
I'm too old and set in my ways to adapt to a new crowd now.

I'm like my Nan when all her bingo friends died and the younger generation took over the show.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:28, Reply)

I'll stick here too, but nothing to say I cannot wander over there when it gets dull here.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 17:36, Reply)