You're married, aren't you?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:30, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Err. No?

(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)

How odd.
Got it into my head that you were. Carry on!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Don't cry berk
You'll make someone a lovely ball n' chain some day.
( djtrialprice, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I've already picked the one I'd like
but I doubt he'll ever ask. Ah well, I can always get a couple of cats, eh?
(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:38, Reply)

There's always Gonzo.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:39, Reply)

This is very true
he'll make a lovely plan B.
(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:43, Reply)

The only thing is though, there was 3 girls at school, who I made a life long pledge with, that if we're not married by the time we're 40, we'll marry each other.
Two of them have already hooked up, taken themselves out the game, and I'm 28 next month, which means if you've only got 12 years before you'll miss your chance. Origionally I said to them by the time we're 20 and they said 90, but we settled somewhere around the middle after intense haggling negotiations.

I know 12 years seems like a long time, that so much can happen in that time, but really time flies by quite quickly. Sign up today to avoid disapointment, limited places are available, your happiness may be at risk if you do not keep up with the extra-martial dueties.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I don't think he can perform emergency abortions

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

He's only about, what, 26 or something, there is not way he'll ask you yet, you've only been going out a few months.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Well, precisely.
I am well aware of this.
(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I asked my ex to marry me when I was 19 and we'd been going out a few months
It did not work out.

In short; Al is right
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Bizarrely, at 19, he did much the same
and believe me, I'm not stupid enough to think that just because I've fallen arse about tit for him that he feels the same, or that everything will work out like a Disney film.
(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Depends which Disney film
I hope for your sake it doesn't go all Emperor's New Groove
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Alright then, a Disney film in which neither of us end up turning in to llamas.

(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

You're going to end up flying using your ears???

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Or elephants
or any other anthropomorphic animal.
(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Or living in a frankly dubious house-sharing arrangement with seven vertically challenged manual workers?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

You're going to kill your uncle who killed your father!?

( djtrialprice, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

You're going to use magic to show a group of disenfranchised kids a magical world of penguins and chimney-sweeps that their parents can never hope to match, effectively ruining their chances of keeping their children on the straight and narrow?
You monster
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

We've all been there I think.
Mine was related to first-fuck syndrome. Looking back, she was a bit of a nutter.

Come to think of it, all my exes are.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

ha ha, yeah right virgin.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

He meant to write fist-fuck
because that's all he's had.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

My first ex had planned to ask me to marry him when we'd finished uni
as he's now a ginger, balding, morbidly obese raging right-wing cunt (who had a nervous breakdown when we split up, no less) I think I dodged a real fucking bullet there.
(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Lucky escape.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

You have no idea
I'd rather cauterise my foof with a red hot rusty poker than let him up it again.
(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Didn't you say he was ginger?
Rusty poker... etc
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I asked mine after about 8 months
I think the tart would have said yes to anyone to be fair.
( djtrialprice, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Yeah, she was getting on a bit
and she needed someone to stop her nicking hub caps.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I hear she was born in the 70s no less

( djtrialprice, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Fucking hell, people born in the 70s are still alive?
do you have to use industrial strength motor oil to lube her up?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I could use a good lubing myself
;-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

: (

( girlinthehole, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:41, Reply)

She looks very cute with her boyrfriend.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Put a ring on her finger!

( djtrialprice, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Why is there a glass sword pointing at them?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I have no idea what that is.
I think it might be a bow.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:45, Reply)

I have no idea what it is either
and I was there.
(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Or maybe it's like that film The Omen

( djtrialprice, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)

What, so....
one of us is going to get stabbed? Cheers, DJ.
(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

You get stabbed every night
with a pork sword.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:08, Reply)

If only it were that often
bloody distance relationship mutter grumble etc.
(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Has he not got you one of those "cast your own dildo" kits and made a mould of his below average sized tonker?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Tacky, al

(berk, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

You need to let it set a bit more then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Hahaha

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Worse still, you're going to get green hair and he's...
well, I'd suggest he puts a hat on to cover it up before leaving the house.
( djtrialprice, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 11:08, Reply)