I was going to nick the girl from last night's pantaloons and fly them from my window.
But then I realised it'll probably make her not leave me alone even more. How do you sack someone off when they live four doors down?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:19, 8 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Change your surname to Hitler

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I can advise that this does not work.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Shit through her letterbox?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Once again I can advise that is not foolproof*

*the woman may be German, for example
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Nazi lols.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWjCkcAmzDc
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:33, Reply)

I see no lols

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Enter the wrong hole

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Phallus in Blunderland

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

*golf clap*
Bumderland
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:52, Reply)

I thought I made it clear this morning.
She proceeded to give me quite literally the worst blowjob in the world so I told her to stop, got dressed and left. But no she's already text me asking what I'm doing today. Fuck off.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

They can't be worse than my mum's.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Or mine.
Just to be clear, I mean my Mum's
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Course you do, son.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Tell her you love her

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Shag her housemate

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:23, Reply)

They're not attractive enough to warrant me sticking my knob in them.
And that's not my bag anyway.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:27, Reply)

That doesn't normally stop you.
/theftlolz
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Tell her you wank off to a picture of Ben Hardwick every night.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Alternatively, actually wank off to a picture of Ben Hardwick every night.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Whilst in bed with said girl.
Make her wear a Ben Hardwick mask at all times and insist she change her name by deed poll.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Then remove her liver*
*I had to google Ben Hardwick. You sick, sick man.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Steal her jacket.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Confess that you only really enjoy rimming really dirty arseholes, minimum ten days worth of dried shit on her ringpiece before she should bother showing her face round your gaff

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I contemplated rimming her last night.
And then came to my senses. Not because I didn't want to do it, more because she's such a pain in my arse why should I pleasure hers.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Pantaloons?
Do you live in the Victorian era? Do you ride a Penny Farthing?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:30, Reply)

It's a yes from me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:35, Reply)

*hands over laudanum*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:38, Reply)

*Doffs Top Hat*

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)