Gonz thinks that men wearing eye make up is effeminate
and that he needs to wash the gayness off his fists after he has battered the bent bastards. Views?

I, personally, do not feel this way about mascara on blokes and am quite happy for chaps to wear a bit of rouge.

So my question, I suppose, is what are your favourite items of ladies clothes that you like to get dressed up in?

Alt: Have you ever kept a ladies knickers afterwards?

Alt alt: Ladies, washing and ironing. Womens work or not so much?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:02, 152 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Your mum's knickers
Alt: Your mum's
Alt alt: Your mum
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

All good answers.
Completely plausible.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Your mums a bigger slag than Lilo Lil
She specialises in desperate nerds from the internet. Needs must and all that.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I missed you at breakfast this morning.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I was thinking of you

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Because you are bent.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I was thinking what a fat cunt, I hope he has a birthday stroke and all he can do is dribble and make mong noises over his birthday cake.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I love you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Like a fat internet virgin love RedBull?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Very much so.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I'm quite happy to report that I've never dressed up in women's clothes
Alt: I had a few pairs left over the years. Does this count?
Alt Alt: Mrs Cow sorts all this stuff in Chez Cow
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Never dressed up in ladies clothes?
What are you, gay?

A mate of mine, honest, keeps them like trophies. He has quite a collection of bras too.

Alt alt: Told you. Womens work.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Why do we call The Romans, Romans? Did they not get people from outside italy?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I mean, the rest of Italy.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Did Italy exist at that time?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I don't think so.
They were principalities I think?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I think this answers the question then.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Italy as we know it is less than 150 years old. Read 'The Leopard' by some Eyetie cunt

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Yep, whilst roamin' about

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

It was the capital?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:10, Reply)

because Italy as we know it didn't exist in the time of the Roman Empire
and the people from the area around Rome that came to dominate all of Europe were called Romans?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Anything I say here will simply reinforce what you lot often say about me
So I'm staying out of that.

Alt Alt: Technically, yes. But I've done my own washing and ironing for the last 7 years, so it doesn't really make any difference to me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Have you lived with a woman in the last 7 years?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

His mums up on the sideboard

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I thought this thread was about Romans, not Grecians

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:27, Reply)

About £6 an hour!!!!1111

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Thank you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Yep
But two of them were housemates, the other was my Stepmum
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Slagnostic Pantiheist
Your drag name.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

A bit of eyeliner - or guyliner - can look rather sexy on the right bloke
there's a chap (although I use the term loosely - much like his flapping anus, I suspect) who works on one of the makeup counters in Debenhams, who wears more makeup than a large majority of even the most heavily plastered harridans. I can say with complete honesty that it does not look good on him.

I like wearing dresses but rarely have the occasion to. And I don't think I've ever intentionally left pants at someone's house.

I don't iron but I wash my own clothes. Should I ever move in with a bloke or have a family I would expect to have to take the washing in and out of the machine, but not to sort out their dirty laundry from their clean stuff. This isn't the 1950's, people.
(berk, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

You'll end up having to do all the washing berk,
Hubby will be hard at work and you will be at home barefoot and pregnant.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:23, Reply)

pregnant sucking off the neighbours
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Yes it is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I used to wear eye liner during my teen Gothy period.
It's a classic scene in Quadrophenia, where Jimmy is applying eye liner, speeding his tits off. He definitely looks the part.
Alt, not intentionally.
Alt alt, not really, what do you do if you're a single bloke? Post them back to your mum?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Yeah, you should have a sort of courier clean clothes service with home.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Especially for students.
It's just past fresher week, and the city centre is crawling with the fuckers. Even worse, the Tory Party conference strrts here tomorrow.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:32, Reply)

It's like the cunts have called in cuntish reinforcements!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Pretty much.
Apparently the last time they were here, there was trouble in the gay village. Rent boys from around the region bussed in, looking for some sweaty Tory bumfun, at higher rates than they were used to, and the local kids didn't like it.
Allegedly.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I have two options here
a) Get called a massive bender for my response
b) Lie
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

c) Lie AND get called a massive bender
d)????
e)PROFIT
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:18, Reply)

You lying bender.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:21, Reply)

I am a manly man
So no.

Right time to start the day with a cup of earl grey and some norah jones.
( djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Start the day?
Alright for some.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Unemployment FTW!

( djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Oops.
Soz.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Don't feel sorry for him
it's all his own fault. He could get a job if he wanted.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Even still.
I was unemployed for four months about nine years ago.

I've never smoked so much grass in my life.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Doesn't sound too bad to me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I've had worse times at work.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:38, Reply)

What's green and gets you stoned?
A Giro.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I like this

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Yeah, not bad times.
King for a day, skint for a fortnight.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I think a bit of eyeliner is fine
no quarrels with it at all. The ladies clothes question is a bit pointless to me, being a 40 stone trucker called Dave limits my options.

Alt: Only accidentally.

Alt: Ironing was always a man's job in our household, primarily because of all the shirts that needed it.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:20, Reply)

How can you accidentally forget your knickers?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Leaving out the window half nekked innit?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I'm not entirely sure
I put them through the wash and gave them back
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Ironing?
Is only acceptable if you require a shirt to look smart for a formal occasion. Any other ironing you may do is a waste of your short life. I used to share a house with a guy who ironed not only his pants (!) but also his towels. And he would complain about how much ironing he had to do.
Also, I've noticed ironing being used as some kind of pikey badge of honour: "Say what you like, but at least my kids' clothes are ironed". Maybe, but you spend your days smoking in front of Jeremy Kyle and visiting Tesco in your pyjamas.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Hahahaha. Tescos in your pyjamas is common where I live.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

There are numerous Facebook groups where people are encouraged to take pics of said harridans

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:26, Reply)

There's a Walmart one from the US.
Some of them are hilarious.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Chav scum, and Sheppeyscum were two sadly passed away websites for this.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:29, Reply)

And fluffy slippers.
Don't forget the fluffy slippers.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Fake Uggs.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:27, Reply)

<a href="http://www.uggaustralia.co.uk/womens-cozy-knit-slippers-uk/1865,en_GB,pd.html?dwvar_1865_color=HGRY&start=12&cgid=womens-slippers">www.uggaustralia.co.uk/womens-cozy-knit-slippers-uk/1865,en_GB,pd.html?dwvar_1865_color=HGRY&start=12&cgid=womens-s
In pink of course.

www.uggaustralia.co.uk/womens-cozy-knit-slippers-uk/1865,en_GB,pd.html?dwvar_1865_color=HGRY&start=12&cgid=womens-slippers
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Why is it never the attractive girls who do that?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Define "attrractive", for Macc, or the normal world?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Either
It's always the fat fucking munters.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I pulled one in the supermarket about 10 years ago.
Had her slippers on.

Went straight round her house for sex.

True story.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Was it nice
being 'newest daddy' to her kids for a few hours?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:42, Reply)

She was filth.
Made me blush.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

I hope you sent your story in to Razzle's reader's letters

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Before I knew what was happening......
her Mum was rimming me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Did she gasp when she clapped eyes on your girth?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

She salivated and with a sly wink, went to work.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Surely your mum?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I hope she left them on during

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

It's posh where I live.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Why, do they go to Waitrose instead?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:34, Reply)

"Wait-Rose?"
I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with the term. Is that something from outside of Essex?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Expensive supermarket.
I don't think there are many around.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Not up North there aren't.
It's all Aldi and Kwik-Save.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I actually genuinely can't think of any in Essex,
At least not in my area. I suppose Colchester or Chelmsford probably have them, but not Basildon that's for sure.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:41, Reply)

There's one in Billericay.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:43, Reply)

That doesn't surprise me actually.
There could be one in Brentwood too, thinking about it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Lies

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:42, Reply)

There is one in Eldon Sq in Newcastle

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

There's one in Leeds

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Venice of the North.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

We've just got one here in Manchester. It's not too pricey to be honest.
We need a fucking Harrods.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:45, Reply)

No you don't.
Where will you get the money to spend in it?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Mugging.
Dur!
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

*slaps self*
'course.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Stealing and benefit fraud?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

An honest day's work, naturally.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Oh
and all the rich little Not Quite Oxbridge Students.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

There's two in Edinburgh, for that matter.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Gonz is correct.
And I wouldn't mess with him.
( Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I like to leave my knickers as a memento mori after a night of nookie.
Me and CQ are off to Weston all on our own :(

Nobody loves us :(
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Are you travelling down now? Or is it across?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Across from Bristol.
The others will be turning up later.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Spot of lunch. Glass of wine.
Friday in the sun.

Can't be bad.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:57, Reply)

A memento mori?
You kill them after you have slept with them?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

It's more likely that nobody loves Weston
and they all have a preference for not getting stabbed. I wouldn't take it personally.
( Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Is it rough?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

It makes Compton look like a tourist resort.

( Kroney, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Hahaha.
Is it rougher than Great Yarmouth?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:52, Reply)

It will be when I get there.

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Bunch of quenders.
I'm fromm the stabbiest bit of London, I shal teach then how to do it properly.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I love you and will join you soon
as soon as I can find clothes and the will to move
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

His unpopularity is rubbing off on you Biggers

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I used to wear a fair bit of make up
But the I was a goff, which is probably gayer than being a tranny. I also went to a vicars and tarts party as a tart.

Alt: never intentionally.

AltAlt: Nope, any man who cannot manage an minimum level of self sufficience is not really a man.


In other news, I'm on the train the the pier, and thus far no one else has turned up so I may have to service B3th and Blousie single handed, I shall be a broken man I tell ya, but I shall die happy.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

If anyone can do it son, it's you.
Get in!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I shall do my best.
But I am not well. I'm hoping Jeff will be along later to take ofer for the second shift.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

"Custard stirring" as it is known

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

This place
Is bloody brilliant if you want to go on a diet. As you've just put me off my lunch.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I once knew a lad so spotty he used to borrow his Mum's concealer.
Poor bastard.

Alt: No. That'd be weird.

Alt alt: Men should be able to do this, I've been doing it since I was thirteen. We're not disabled, FFS.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

You go sister!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Only at fancy dress parties
and to conceal facial injuries.

I've never kept them intentionally, but more than once a current lady has found an item of previous ladies' nethers at the back of a drawer. Always a delicate situation. Especially when a size 14 lass finds a pair of size 6 delicates.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:17, Reply)

The last fancy dress I was at, the theme was 'Come In Drag'
The 'men' were odd, the 'women' just looked frightening.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:19, Reply)

I used to pull off a very convincing posh spice back in the day.
this is early spice girls, pre-anorexia spice of course.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:23, Reply)

It was a very odd night
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:25, Reply)

What happened?
Did this posh spice impressionist chap just get tired of being wanked off by a bloke in pink socks, or did your wife find out?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I was going to nick the girl from last night's pantaloons and fly them from my window.
But then I realised it'll probably make her not leave me alone even more. How do you sack someone off when they live four doors down?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Change your surname to Hitler

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I can advise that this does not work.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Shit through her letterbox?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Once again I can advise that is not foolproof*

*the woman may be German, for example
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Nazi lols.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWjCkcAmzDc
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:33, Reply)

I see no lols

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Enter the wrong hole

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Phallus in Blunderland

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

*golf clap*
Bumderland
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:52, Reply)

I thought I made it clear this morning.
She proceeded to give me quite literally the worst blowjob in the world so I told her to stop, got dressed and left. But no she's already text me asking what I'm doing today. Fuck off.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

They can't be worse than my mum's.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Or mine.
Just to be clear, I mean my Mum's
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Course you do, son.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Tell her you love her

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Shag her housemate

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:23, Reply)

They're not attractive enough to warrant me sticking my knob in them.
And that's not my bag anyway.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:27, Reply)

That doesn't normally stop you.
/theftlolz
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Tell her you wank off to a picture of Ben Hardwick every night.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Alternatively, actually wank off to a picture of Ben Hardwick every night.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Whilst in bed with said girl.
Make her wear a Ben Hardwick mask at all times and insist she change her name by deed poll.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Then remove her liver*
*I had to google Ben Hardwick. You sick, sick man.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Steal her jacket.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Confess that you only really enjoy rimming really dirty arseholes, minimum ten days worth of dried shit on her ringpiece before she should bother showing her face round your gaff

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I contemplated rimming her last night.
And then came to my senses. Not because I didn't want to do it, more because she's such a pain in my arse why should I pleasure hers.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Pantaloons?
Do you live in the Victorian era? Do you ride a Penny Farthing?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:30, Reply)

It's a yes from me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:35, Reply)

*hands over laudanum*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:38, Reply)

*Doffs Top Hat*

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)

RIGHT I'M OFF FOR (my annual) HAIRCUT
see y'all
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:37, Reply)