Time for a new one. What are the least pleasurable things in life that you have to deal with on a regular basis?
Alt: who is your biggest enemy & why?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:40, 95 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

you
not really, you're ok, I like you a bit.

Will you mary me?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:41, Reply)

I am already married.
And sister fuckers don't really do it for me.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:44, Reply)

divorce her!
why have chickens when you can have eggs?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Roast eggs are shit, that's why

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Are you trying to meme yourself or something?
Generally memes actually start off as something funny, thats all
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:47, Reply)

hahahha!
I would like a meme
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

would like a meme deserve a beating for being such a cock.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

this is terrible bullyign, you're worse than /talk
I don't know why I come here anymore :(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I don't know why you do either.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Because he thinks he's LOLHILARIOUS?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:10, Reply)

for being such a with my
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Work,
I was gutted I didn't win the lottery last night.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:42, Reply)

P.s. Has anyone hired a youth hostel for the weekend and would you recommend it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:42, Reply)

No
No
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Not a youth hostel, but a national trust base camp
It was worth it, we had a great weekend.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:49, Reply)

That's what I'm thinking for a mates stag do,
he's talking about going to eatern europe, but if he does there will be about 6ish of us, UK based youth hostel, there'll be more like 25-30ish.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Go for somewhere like Eylam in the peak district.
But check out the web NT website for basecamps. Spread over a dozen people it is not that expensive.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:53, Reply)

I've found that UK based stag do's are better
Less travel. Less hassle. Easier to plan. More people come along.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:53, Reply)

That's what I think
and I really not up for 20 guys wandering around a town and vomiting on strippers.
This looks cool www.escape-to.co.uk/images/content/gradbachfarmhouse2.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

That looks good.
Hiring somewhere in the countryside is a good idea - particularly if you can get the entire venue to yourselves so no need to worry about upsetting other people. Just make sure there are a couple of places to eat & drink nearby (you need more than one in case someone behaves like a cock and gets you all barred).
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)

I've only been on one so far
After 15 people dropped out in the week before it, it simply meant 3 of us got an early train to Chester, and spent the day getting riotously pissed. It was a good day.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)

That is some unpopular groom.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:11, Reply)

That was pretty much going to be the running joke of the day
Then we realised after about 5 minutes that it would be a bit unfair, so instead were aiming it at one another.

"They dropped out because of you, ya baldy spastic!"
"No chance, it was down to you, you tubby little shit!"

Etc, etc.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Work politics are the most annoying things I have to deal with on a regular basis
Alt:
One of our account managers. She is known as "Seagull" as she pops into our office, shits all over everything and leaves
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

This is both unprofessional and unhygienic.
and I bet she leaves it for someone else to clean up.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Indeed she does

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Washing up.
Alt: don't really have one, wast of time and effort.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Arguing with my boss,
Alt: My boss.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

My boss is fucking cool
He used to be in the bomb squad and this gets many good stories out over a pint or twelve
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:49, Reply)

My boss used to be cool until he got to know me, and I him.
Your boss is uber cool with that on his CV. Does it help at McDonalds though?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Yep
He's got 5 stars and everythink
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Terminal acne too?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I thought this went without saying
How do you think we put the "special sauce" into a Big Mac?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

*bokes*

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

You want fries with that?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Other commuters.
Especially the fuckers that don't think 'Emergency Exit Only' applies to them and then get arsey when I don't get out their way.

Alt: Same, actually.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Stinky cunts on the Metro is another one
FFS, have a wash or at least spray some Lynx on, you smelly twat
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:48, Reply)

God no.
I get the train from Essex, there's enough Lynx in the air as it is.

Just a nice, non scented deodorant, please.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:50, Reply)

The overpowering stench of stale sweat cannot be easily masked

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Or people could just learn to wash

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:53, Reply)

It puts the hose on its skin or it gets the lotion?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Won't it precious? Yes it will.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

This would be good.
And you say you're not a dreamer.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

imagine there's a shower
it's easy if you try
some water to soap and clean you
and a towel to make you dry
imagine all the people
not stinking up the train

You may say I'm a dreamer
but at least I've washed my bum
I hope some day you'll do also
you stinking sweaty cunt.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:58, Reply)

*shoots Yoko*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)

O NO!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:30, Reply)

THERE GOES TOKYO

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:46, Reply)

yeah, but mixing it with lynx does not make it better.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

It forces my nostrils to shutdown
Problem solved
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I hate using the tube everyday. I particularly hate people trying to board before people have got off.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:50, Reply)

This^
Then looking at you like you've just shit on their daughter when you try and push off the carriage
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Yup, those too.
I've learnt how to brace my shoulder very firmly when people try that one on me. Same goes for the emergency exit people actually, which is why I get shouted at so regularly.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I do this every time I go to London.
Actually, London is a lovely place. The only problem being, it's full of Londoners.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

It's not the Londoners that are really the problem.
It's all the fuckers that commute in and ruin it. (apart from perfect me, of course)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Idiots who think the world owes them something.
And at the moment, the twat who sits near me at work. Yes you, you nosey twat. Fuck off and do some work and quit looking over my shoulder, you obnoxious little twerp.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

YEAH DO SOME WORK WHILE I POST ON B3TA

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

"research"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:53, Reply)

TownshendLOLS

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)

He's fucked off now.
Can't think why.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

HEY KEEP READING OVER HIS SHOULDER, THE LUGGAGE IS A
VIRGIN BY THE WAY
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

HI MUM!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

My own self-loathing.
Alt: Myself.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Not really, I'm fucking ace, me.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Harsh man

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Don't cry for me
I'm already dead.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Thanks Roy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I was going to say 'Barney'

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:32, Reply)

And you would have been more accurate

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Evita's follow up single was not quite so well received.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

My Boss
He's been away for the last two weeks, returning Monday. Yesterday, he asked one of the girls to print out all clocking in records for the last 2 weeks, so he could check up on lateness. He only spoke to one person - Me. He enquired why I was late on Friday, which I wasn't aware I was.

I asked what time I had clocked in? 8:37. He pulled me into the office to enquire why I had been 7 minutes late, when I know for a fact that others have been in later. Add to that the fact I was at least 10 minutes early every other day last week, and it's even more annoying.

Also, banks, as Halifax are utter fuckwits.

Alt: Probably myself, I seem determined to fuck up any progress I make towards sorting my finances.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

/Monty

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:04, Reply)

The trouble with the ten minutes early argument is
that he'll just say "well you're expected to be in at your desk ready to work for 8:30, so you should be here ten minutes early to sort yourself out".
( Kroney, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Aye, I know
I chose not to argue, and simply told him the reason why I was late (getting a taxi, and traffic was fucking chaotic).

But it just gets tiring, especially when he never pulls up others on it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Maybe he is hoping you will make a pass at him.
And you keep missing you're opportunity.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:13, Reply)

I'd quite like to pass him something caustic.
That's about it really.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I think Bartlebo is onto something here...
Next time he calls you into his office, just stick your tongue straight into his mouth. If he complains, threaten him with sexual harassment.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:16, Reply)

How full is your log?
You have kept a written record of every time you've been discriminated against, I trust.

Also, if you knew others were late in that day you should have used that as evidence of the traffic chaos - and said "as I'm sure they'll tell you WHEN YOU SPEAK TO THEM".

You need to work on your manager management skills.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:32, Reply)

This is the MD who once gave me disciplinary for something he couldn't prove
He doesn't care.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Which is why you accumulate written records
There are employment laws about this kind of thing, you can get a payout when you leave if you can prove they failed to abide by their own procedures and harassed you until you left. Just the threat of a tribunal can get their chequebook out.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:45, Reply)

It can also make it difficult to get a positive reference from them. They'd probably make you sign a compromise agreement.
It's illegal to give a bad reference, but they could decline to provide one at all if you leave in those sort of circumstances.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Doesn't sound like a good reference is on the cards though

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:55, Reply)

We only officially provide a standard reference
LiC worked here between xx/xx/xx and yy/yy/yy as "job title"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:55, Reply)

THIS!!!!!!!111!1! ^^^^^^^
Start from now and keep a very obvious notepad on your desk. Whenever anything like this comes up, immediately stop and write it all down in clear and concise language. If you get pulled up for it, explain its for your own personal records. The harrassment will stop shortly after the first time they ask, I'll bet
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I almost didn't get on a new-style Metropol train yesterday, which is awesome, you can walk all the way up and down it, it has loads of standing space, looks really futureistic, I can't wait for them to roll these out across the whole line. I even took ph
otos, they looked massive. Thing is though, right, despite a fucking huge walkway between the sitting areas, still nobody would move down, and I almost didn't get on the train when easily another 15 people could have gotten on if people moved down. I thought to myself "Fuck this shit, no WAY am I waiting for the next train, it might be a normal one. I've worked fucking hard today, I deserve a go on the new train" and I pushed myself on.

Anyway, yeah', it's fucking pricks on the tube who won't move down the caridge, or fucking pricks on the tube who won't let you get off the train, or fucking pricks on the tube who eat McDonalds/fake-kfc which REAKS.

We need to be more like New York in the spiderman film when spiderman was stopping their train from falling off the broke track using his web powers, but yeah', more like the new yorkers on this tube and be like "Yo' fuck with one of us, yo' fuck with all of us. We're New Yorker's, pal, and we ain't takin' shit.".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

I do love your monologues sometimes.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:44, Reply)

is this one of those times?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Lazy housemate and paperwork
alt: carbs.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:50, Reply)

rbs ke
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Mmmmmmmmmm icing. G'day fella.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Afternoon sir
Or it is evening/morning for you?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:55, Reply)

AVO, not left yet. Fri morning I leave, 5am.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Ouch
Early
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 15:01, Reply)

I know, it's brutal

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 15:03, Reply)

icing cock
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Interacting with the general public
Given my lack of empathy and buried rage issues.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)