I've been winding down since the end of June.
Alt: bacon buttie and reading the obligatory Viz annual.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:50, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Brown or red sauce?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Red, I'm afraid.
I know you extol the virtues of brown on a bacon buttie, but I prefer it. If I'm feeling really decadent I'll forgo the sauce and melt some brie on it instead.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Brown sauce for a sausage butty, red for bacon

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:54, Reply)

What if it's a bacon AND sausage buttie though?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:55, Reply)

If there's bacon in the sandwich, it has to be brown sauce.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Red
EDIT:

If bacon and sausage are mixed, then egg must be introduced
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:56, Reply)

This is true
But without black pudding in there, you're missing an opportunity.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Black pudding is something I've got to be "in the mood" to have
This is most times though, but not so far in a sarnie
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:58, Reply)

I fucking love black pudding on a roll, with sausage, bacon, runny egg, and brown sauce.
NOM
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:00, Reply)

I shall purchase some at the weekend for this exact purpose

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Good man

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:03, Reply)

I think this might actually be a matter of taste and there is not really a right or wrong sauce for any sandwich.
I'm probably mistaken though. I often am.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I think you might be right.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:56, Reply)

It's right up there with all the great conundrums;
how do you pronounce scone?
milk or tea first?
what's the best cheese?

It doesn't matter and there are better things to discuss unless you are making me a sandwich, a cup of tea or buying me a present of cheese. (You'll notice I don't address the scone question here. This is because even I am not that much of a fucking prick.)
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Same as gone
Tea
Mature Cheddar, I'd say.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:03, Reply)

I don't care.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:04, Reply)

I used to live above a cheese shop years ago.
It nearly ruined me.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:05, Reply)

One hot day in summer it melted?

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Cheese showers FTW

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Fondue bath.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I prefer a shower TBH

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Instead of scented shower gel you could use that squeezy Primula with chives in.
Or shrimp.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:18, Reply)

I use that for deodourant

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Cheese string tampons.
Stiltenema.
The works.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Nah, the whole shop was refrigerated.
We did have an overpowering stench of cheese in the flat for a while. Then we discovered the cause was a hole in the bathroom floorboards when laying a new carpet. Oh how we laughed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I was pretending the entire shop was made of cheese and that's why you said cheese shop.
It's even better in my head because the shop doesn't even sell cheese. It sells second-hand books. So when it melted, all the books were ruined.
There's this guy who owns the shop going "Fucking hell! The shop made of cheese has melted! All my second-hand books are ruined!"
It's pretty funny. I must be a very funny person.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Yes, I know you were.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Sorry.
I might go home and carve some mild chedder into a shop.
Mature is too crumbly.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Not a full-sized shop.
A little model one.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:27, Reply)

How should you poach an egg?

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:03, Reply)

FUCK OFF. That's how.
FUCK OFF YOU TEDIOUS PRICK.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:04, Reply)

In water
egglols
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:05, Reply)

if you don't pronounce "scone" correctly
the joke doesn't work
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:08, Reply)

I've never had a set way of saying scone.
I say it both ways. I never know myself how I'm going to say it until it is said. Meaning the joke only works 50% of the time.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:10, Reply)

you ARE wild and crazy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:11, Reply)

You should see my collection of Red Dwarf tee shirts.
They are tee shirts with catchphrases from a sit-com on them, meaning I am a comedian. A very funny comedian.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:14, Reply)

i thought people over the age of 25 weren't allowed to wear things with slogans on them?
i must review the law on this point.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Slogans are for people with nothing of their own to say.
All my clothes have slogans. Even my pants. One pair says "These are underpants". It's ironic because it is literal.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:22, Reply)

The fastest item in the bakery one?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:10, Reply)

no, the one about the margaret thatcher film having an 18 rating
duh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Harsh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:12, Reply)

you love it like that

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:13, Reply)

True

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:16, Reply)

But fair.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Also true

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I'm taking a stab in the dark here, but the punchline must be 'not suitabel for miners'?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Or 'not suitable' even.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:17, Reply)

As the tailor said to the three-armed man.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:18, Reply)

You're in grave danger of me liking you if you carry on like this.
And you wouldn't want that now, would you?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:19, Reply)

I'm a very likable person.
I have over 50 Hot Wheels cars, 13 Nerf Guns and a fuckload of Scalectrix. Or Scalextric. Whatevs.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:21, Reply)

I don't believe you.
You can't hold the handle down on a scalextric controller with hooves.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Specially adapted.
I mean, I'M NOT A HORSE.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Shut it, Mr. Ed.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Oddly, brown sauce is also excellent with breaded fish.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I'm not mad keen on brown sauce.
But sometimes I desire it.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:02, Reply)

You owe Danny Baker royalties.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:03, Reply)

?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:04, Reply)

The Sausage Sandwich Game.
Red Sauce, Brown Sauce, or No Sauce At All?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:08, Reply)

Sausage sandwich is red sauce

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:13, Reply)

HP Guinness

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Vile, vile stuff

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:19, Reply)

You are so wrong.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:25, Reply)

I don't like Guinness

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:27, Reply)

You are so wrong

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I've tried it many times, in different locations, I even tried it at the brewery
And I simply don't like the stuff.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:30, Reply)

That's the most common answer.
Only the proper weirdos say 'No sauce at all'.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I have one friend who has his with no sauce and no butter.
He's a bit odd.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:19, Reply)

There's always one.
I have a friend who does that because he won't eat dairy at all. No reason, he's not allergic, he has no moral objections, he's just never eaten it and is convinced he would hate it if he tried it.

He was on Rainbow as a kid, refusing to eat cheese in one of their VT segments.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:21, Reply)

We seem to know some very odd people.
And I don't just mean on here.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I've not read Viz for years!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:51, Reply)

I get the book every year.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Sorry DG but..
k t
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Sod off.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:57, Reply)

hehe

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Interview tomorrow.
Which means getting up really bloody early to catch a bus into town as the missus needs to be in South Shields by 8:15. I really hope it's worth it...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Cool
Are you getting dropped off for the Metro then?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:05, Reply)

No, I'll just get a day ticket for the bus as it'll work out cheaper.
I may be heading back into town later as well to meet my former colleagues, so it'll be handy for that as well.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:07, Reply)

That sounds like a bit of a plan has formed there
Good work fella!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:08, Reply)

I am nothing if not organised.
Although if the weather's like this tomorrow I may just stay at home once I'm back.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 13:15, Reply)