Someone tell me a joke
Most of my team buggered off to the Christmas meal that I'm too ill to attend at 2pm, the rest are on their way out the door now and I'm here til 6. I have only the worryingly addctive Tiger Woods (other sexually deviant golfing legends are available) game on my iPhone (other smartphones are available, apparently, but I wouldn't bother, they won't be as good) to entertain me. That, and you lot.

I suppose you want a question - what's the best superpower?

Alt: Did you know that the Russian national anthem, even in its truncated podium-friendly form, goes on for fucking ages?

AltAlt: Well did you?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:11, 182 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Who started the Pedants' Revolt?

(sorry I can only remember about ten jokes and half of those are 80s 'Ethiopian' jokes or similar)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:15, Reply)

My money is on you
but I don't know
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Whom Tyler?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Which Tyler.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Hahaha
Very good
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Damn

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Close enough, old boy.
Have half a small cigar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:25, Reply)

*small pink floyds*

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:40, Reply)

whats the ahrdest of a fruit?
a wheelchair!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:16, Reply)

You in your lucky blue sister's bedroom.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:18, Reply)

thwe butler did it all along!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Really.
You're projecting your foul noncery onto the staff now? This coping mechanism of yours is rather pitiful, Robert.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:22, Reply)

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT THIS IS

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:24, Reply)

So just me, Darth, Quentin and Monty then.
Why, this is Hell, nor am I out of it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:21, Reply)

It's made of wood!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Oy, now my reply makes NO SENSE

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:25, Reply)

What's yellow and doesn't like liver?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Something about a vegetarian Chinaman?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:26, Reply)

BEN HARDWICK!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Yeah, I don't know who that is

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:29, Reply)

80s liver transplant failure tragedy dead boy.
Marti Webb recorded a charity single of a cover of Michael Jackson's 'Ben' to raise money. It was so awful Harwick probably unplugged himself to escape the shame.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Isn't the original version of "Ben" about a rat?
There's probably a piss-poor joke to be made from that, but I'm not with it enough to construct it. Fill yer boots, Monters
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:32, Reply)

ok, this one's a classic
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

wi' jammin
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:27, Reply)

............

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:29, Reply)

What's senile and punching well above his weight?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:28, Reply)

I'll give you a clue
it's a man
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Monty!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:29, Reply)

No, that was what I wanted you to think,
then when I actually said Frank Bruno you'd laugh harder.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:29, Reply)

I didn't laugh at all.
I'm the straight guy.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Where's Darth?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:30, Reply)

probably looking round the office for things he can shove up his arse.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:31, Reply)

I can imagine that's what all gay men do when they're left alone in an office.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Pretty much, that's why there's always empty coke cans in the bins.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Okay, the answer is ...
Frank Bruno
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:29, Reply)

I am NOT senile, you fucking cunt

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:29, Reply)

who felt the need to buy
Powder because lunch with Stunned Poster was 6 pints of Stella?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:28, Reply)

You bought Powder the massively underachieving "indie" band from the mid 90s who's lead singer Pearl married Danny Goffrey from Supergrass?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:30, Reply)

WHY AREN'T YOU ASLEEP?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Blame Stunned.
I'll have a coffee and all will be well.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Bollocks.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:48, Reply)

how many does it change a lightbulb?
it was his wifes head in the box all along
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Quentin what's the best Die Hard?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:30, Reply)

probly the first one, but i liked the 4th and third 2

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Wrong, it's the second one.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:30, Reply)

the second one wasn't great
i mean who cares about central american dictators anyway?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Central americans?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:32, Reply)

i dunno there was a guy who looked like gaddafi in a plane or something

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:33, Reply)

tahnks for makin me feel stupid btw
:(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:33, Reply)

It's not hard.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:35, Reply)

if i showed you my bum would it be?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:36, Reply)

No it obviously isn't
The first one is the best action movie ever made
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:34, Reply)

The 2nd has a fight on a plane wing
This wins
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:35, Reply)

only right at the end, first hour bugger all happens

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:35, Reply)

The second is excellent
but doesn't have as good a villain.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Nor does any other action film ever made
I agree that the second is excellent, just not quite as good as the original
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:42, Reply)

*golf clap*
Be honest, Rickman is marginally better in Die Hard.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:45, Reply)

No, that's Enter the Dragon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:37, Reply)

I think we've had this discussion
but an enthusiastic cineaste like yourself should know the difference between a great action film and a film with great action.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I love it all,
from the soundtrack, to the locations, to the dialogue - all of it. Yes the action sequences are good but as a complete entity I think it is superb. Up there with Live and Let Die and I don't bandy that around carelessly.

I just love the 60s/early 70s I suppose.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Product of your time ain't ya
Apologies, that was cheap and unnecessary. And crap.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:45, Reply)

But true.
I am indeed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:46, Reply)

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:32, Reply)

LOLWHUT?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:38, Reply)

I like Karl Pilkington's superpower, "Bullshit Man".... he flys into* to meetings and when someone says someone bullshit, he points to them and goes "THATS BULLSHIT" and then flys* off.
*He can fly, but that's not his super power.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I liked this one too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:33, Reply)

How about super-obscure jokes that require googling?
As told by my set theory professor many years ago -

What's an anagram of Banach-Tarski?
Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:45, Reply)

AHAHAHAHA
Right I'm off home.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:47, Reply)

Yeah, and take your 'jokes' with you, please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Christ alive.
I wish I hadn't Googled that now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:49, Reply)

That one has set theorists in stitches
Usually when they tell it in the pub and get glassed.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:55, Reply)

Oh fucking HELL I'm here for another 70 minutes yet
In the last twenty minutes I've discovered I can no longer get iPlayer or YouTube on my work computer, two of my workmates have called me - very obviously from loud pubs - trying to locate another, and even Ms Foxtrot has texted me to say she's off out, and that our heating is fixed, which is a fucking relief at least.

I think this has to be the most emo-beakering post in b3ta history. What say you?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Yup. It's a contender.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Two Brando films referenced in one day
Check me out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Have you got all the female b3tans on ignore?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Hahaha
I tend to allow them extra beakerage on account of those unstable hormones the poor things have. And the breasts.

/something about trying the veal
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:01, Reply)

This is both a gay joke and an insult to the whiney hormonal types.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Who's still about?
I'm at work for another couple of hours before heading out to Jeffstock. My work is pretty much done but there's no point going home just to turn round and head up hear again.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Me, until fucking six.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:13, Reply)

I'm supposed to be here til half 6
but it only ta half an hour max to get over to the pub from here, so I might as well hang around til 7.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:17, Reply)

I am, most disgruntled about it (see above)
Jeffstock?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Jeff's in town for beer and curry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:16, Reply)

oh cool wheres everyone meeting?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:16, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/23998
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:18, Reply)

i do love me a good list

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:18, Reply)

If you do come along son
I'll buy you a pint.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:19, Reply)

pint inexpensive prostitute

He's got to lose it sooner or later
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:21, Reply)

I'll just put some lipstick on Monty, he'll never know the difference.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:28, Reply)

goin to see lady quent tonight so soz

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:21, Reply)

What Monty said.
Shandy drinker that I am I'm off for a pint with some of /offtopic's hardest drinkers, this can only end in hilarity.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:19, Reply)

You knocked back a couple with me if I remember rightly
High ABV stuff too. Try matching them pint for pint. Go on.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Not like I don't drink
But I'm not suicidal. Don't want to come one all Nakers in the morning
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Ignoring the fact that this doesn't make sense
one
+over
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Was posting from my phone while smoking.
Over is infact what I meant. Nakers has been winging like a girl about his hangover all day.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:35, Reply)

and you jizzing on him will help this how?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:41, Reply)

Lame, lame.
I am officially bored now. I've even got my timesheets up to date. Everyone's gone home. dull dull dull.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:44, Reply)

I can top that;
I've got loads to do but I cannot be bothered to do it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:45, Reply)

I almost wish I did.
I could probably find something if I cared, but I don't. I might have a little tidy up
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:59, Reply)

i#m here for you

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Right, off for a fag
STay tuned for more exciting developements...
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:21, Reply)

Just cleaned the kitchen
as in moving everything cleaning. Now I'm tired and hungry. Other half is out tonight wondering if I should be naughty and order pizza...

I am going to go get wine soon MMMM delicious wine!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:52, Reply)

Come down the pub you great ponce.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:55, Reply)

is pizza naughty?
is this a codeword?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:56, Reply)

Did you get my gaz
You massive spastic?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:59, Reply)

I can't be assed to trek all the way to deep dark east london
It's naughty because its expensive
Yes, I did and I'm tweaking!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:01, Reply)

Probably want to cut down on the meth then

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:53, Reply)

What Monty said.
otherwise it'll be a total saussage-fest.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:00, Reply)

Fuck this, I'm off
Have a crackin' weekend, everyone
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 17:59, Reply)

See ya hun.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:00, Reply)

Where's B3th and Cavy?
They usually turn up around now. DOn't tell me they have lives?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:05, Reply)

no, don't worry
I was just watching some firefly coz the internet was down. It's shiny now, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:42, Reply)

Woo, Yay!
I have 12 whole minutes still to waste. Wassup in Welshtown?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:48, Reply)

I am cooking
a curry for one inthe microwave. I may have a glass of port later, then I shall be spending the weekend working on that document I've been working on for a couple of months now (deadline is Monday).

I may have to break up the tedium with a bit of archery tomorrow morning and perhaps shall spend a portion of Sunday worrying I have bought no presents then wondering round town getting cross with humanity.

and you?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:50, Reply)

Ahh, look at you being all domestic and responsible.
I'm sat at work killihng time before going for drinkies with the big boys. The pub's just 'round the corner, so no point going home. Tomorrow is present wrapping anf card writing and on Sunday I have my son for the day, we'll probably do a museum or summat.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:54, Reply)

that's all pretty grown up and responsible, too
so, who's going to end up under the table first?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:55, Reply)

Me I should think
Given the guest list is Jeff, Monty, Battered & Stunned.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:59, Reply)

yeah
make sure they take pictures
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:00, Reply)

I'll wear my gimp mast at all times.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:02, Reply)

...to avoid embarrassment

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:03, Reply)

That's the one.
s'pose I'd better get moving really...
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:04, Reply)

have fun

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:04, Reply)

I'll make sure I'm in bed by 10 mum.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:05, Reply)

what?!
loser! you better be out until at least 3 and come back with drunk stories and a traffic cone on your head (ironically of course)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:07, Reply)

Not me tonight sweets.
I've got nothing left in the tank.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:03, Reply)

mtfu

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:03, Reply)

He will. ;-)

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:00, Reply)

Is microwave cooking actually cooking?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:58, Reply)

Aight Stunned.
How goes life in the 'sham
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:59, Reply)

I am fucking jiggered mate.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:01, Reply)

You still coming out?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:02, Reply)

Fraid not, old fruit.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:05, Reply)

it is to me

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:59, Reply)

Fair enough.
Pot noodles all round.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:01, Reply)

i don't eat
that shit! I'm more of a supernoodles girl
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:02, Reply)

Haha!
Class!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:04, Reply)

I likes a nice chicken and mushroom one me.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:05, Reply)

Old school.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:06, Reply)

You eat chicken?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:40, Reply)

Surely there is no chicken in a pot noodle?!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:49, Reply)

Reclaimed chicken.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 20:03, Reply)

sometimes the internet is awesome
procatinator.com/?cat=54
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:27, Reply)

awesome highly disturbing
procatinator.com/?cat=21
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:31, Reply)

and now I'm all alone again
no where to go no one to turn to
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:16, Reply)

the city goes to bed
and I can live inside my head
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:16, Reply)

on my own
pretending he's beside me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:18, Reply)

all alone
I walk with him til morning
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:18, Reply)

seriously
am I going to have to sing the whole of les miserables before one of you tells me to shut up?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:18, Reply)

in the darkness
I feel his arms around me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:20, Reply)

and something something something
lalalallalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:20, Reply)

at the end of the day you're another day older
and that's all you can say for the life of the poor
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:21, Reply)

it's a struggle
it's a war and there's nothing that anyone's giving One more day standing about, what is it for
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:22, Reply)

one day less to be living
`
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:22, Reply)

Needs MOAR horse

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:21, Reply)

There are no horses in les miserables

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:22, Reply)

Hence they are miserable

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:24, Reply)

which is why it sucks

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:24, Reply)

This

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:25, Reply)

what?!
it's great
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:27, Reply)

I don't do musicals

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:28, Reply)

musicals are the great underrated
form of entertainment. Like opera only you can sing along more if you're a prole like me.

I like opera, too. I am clearly the coolest person on this board
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:31, Reply)

You know what else you can sing along to, and doesn't suck?
The radio
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:33, Reply)

I'm more an iPod kind of singer
This does occasionally cause issues when out with the dog
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:35, Reply)

I sing in my car
oh, and sometimes at work. Today was singing along to the final countdown as a deadline approached
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:37, Reply)

I was singing along to Nick Cave's Murder Ballads on the way home today

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:40, Reply)

hahha
me and my mate were in a car in newport train station once. It was nighttime and it seemed to be full of weirdos. Then we realised that we had the window open Murder Ballads on a bit load and that possibly we were the scary weirdos
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:42, Reply)

Due to a very drunken night out the lyrics to this will always now be;
It's my favourite curtains
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:43, Reply)

hehe

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:50, Reply)

I'd recommend it next time

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:56, Reply)

depends on the channel
there's a radio in one of my classrooms, it seems to be tuned to Radio Lucifer, which features all the worst tunes ever written. What the hell is with analogue radio stations?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:36, Reply)

Out of the two of us, certainly
I have no class or social grooming. I'm basically a shaved chimp
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:34, Reply)

that's not very cheval-erous

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:27, Reply)

Why the long face?
Just trying to stirrup the thread a bit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:28, Reply)

I had herd

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:31, Reply)

Unstable, sorry

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:33, Reply)

What is the collective name for gnus?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:36, Reply)

"WHAT A LOT OF GNUS!
IS THAT GOOD OR BAD GNEWS?"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:38, Reply)

I'm a gnu
I'm a gnu
I'm a gnu drop my guts!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:43, Reply)

I'm a gnu
gnu gnu, I can't tell who's w'ho, w'ho w'ho*

*half remembered song from childhood
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:44, Reply)

hmm turns out it was flanders and swann

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:50, Reply)

the gnicest gnanimal in the zoo

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:59, Reply)