Work tedium til six followed by seeing my daughter.
This entails an hour of extreme lolz followed by enforced bedtime followed immediately by my own bedtime.

Alt: my brother and I used to take turns each year in being some kind of family disgrace but this seems to have died out these days, to my mother's delight. Past highlights have been my brother nearly urinating on our grandmother having taken a 'wrong turn' on his way to the lavatory, my vomiting out of my father's window, all over the tree outside the bedroom window and from there onto his wooden porch. I'd only met his new wife four hours before which meant asking for a washing-up bowl and some Dettol at 7am on Christmas morning was acutely embarrassing. 'Have you got food poisoning?', she innocently asked. For a split-second I thought about encouraging this as an idea until I saw my father and brother's faces - no, Monty, you have not.

In later years our sister joined in, her finest hour being collapsing on the floor in front of the bishop of Basingstoke and his wife at 4pm on a Sunday - taking with her a percolator of coffee (remember them?) which emptied itself into our family pride and joy - a fucking gigantic video player (remember them?). My father picked it up and coffee pissed out of the bottom of it, which made my sister insensible with laughter and my folks crimson with rage. Bless her, she was only fifteen and had been plied with booze at the local pub where she washed up.

Fami-lolz, best and worst of the lolz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:30, 6 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I like your family tradition.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Alt: You've got to keep the lezzas happy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:33, Reply)

How was your work's do?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:33, Reply)

Cool.
I am fucked though. Would it be bad to have hroa hrain now?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:37, Reply)

I think you're going to need it at some point.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Back in a mo.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:39, Reply)

I suggest waiting until after lunch.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Too late.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Done it on a plate?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:42, Reply)

This is a reference to 70s/80s playground classic 'Diarrhoea'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:45, Reply)

And once again
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1471250
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I think I should kill myself for the good of humanity, if this is so.
Although I have to say I think Phoenix Nights was a work of genius and I will argue the case for it being one of the best sitcoms ever with anyone you choose.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:51, Reply)

It had its moments.
The kiddies bouncy castle comes to mind.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:53, Reply)

'Sammeh Snaaake'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:11, Reply)

It deserves credit for this, if nothing else:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uSGtRoEQYA

Sitcoms generally are quite poor, but I did enjoy that. I don't think Kay wrote it alone though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:55, Reply)

I think the key writer was the bloke who played 'Ray Von' - also one of the best characters.
I thoroughly agree re sitcoms though. They are normally bent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:12, Reply)

I'm surprised it wasn't too Northern for you, Monters.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:32, Reply)

I'm not areal welder, MIster.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Lunch is for wimps.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:42, Reply)

Hallberg-Rassey Owners Association?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Your life is a Brian Rix farce aicmfp.
Needs more accidental dropping of trousers though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:33, Reply)

My sister pissed her trousers durting the Christmas lunch once.
Will that do?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:37, Reply)

Res.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

He-he-he-he-he-he-he

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Bishop of Basingstoke!!! Lol

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:34, Reply)

You are Peter Kay AICM Panda Pop lemonade ('member that?)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:35, Reply)

Panda cola rocked.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:37, Reply)

You have a sister?
*puts on shiny shoes*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:36, Reply)

do you have Shiny Stockings too?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:37, Reply)

He does. And a basque.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

I am erect.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Nonsense
Very little market for the barrel-chested male basque. Possible Dragons' Den pitch right there. You're welcome.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Did you see that article yesterday about the new bra model who's actually a bloke?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:42, Reply)

I did.
The world's gone mad DG.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:42, Reply)

The world needs a big fucking dose of lithium fo' sho'.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:44, Reply)

You bloody what?!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:45, Reply)

Trufact!
uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/male-model-fronts-campaign-for-push-up-bras.html
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:45, Reply)

That is one seriously female man
I've never felt so masculine. By comparison.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:47, Reply)

Compared to him
You're Conan the fucking Barbarian, mate.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:48, Reply)

*slays army of quenders*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Rawkus will never recover from the slaughter of it's entire customer base.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Well remembered/looked up, there

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Remembered

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Such a confusing wank

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:48, Reply)

I do not
This is all getting a bit "Gay or European?"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:41, Reply)

nah the shiny shoes reminded me of the song Shiny Stockings by Ella Fitzgerald.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 8:56, Reply)

I'm not telling you where my reference comes from

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 9:04, Reply)