Greetings!
Went to the work Christmas meal last night, presided over by my borderline sociopathic boss - imagine David Brent with no desire to please. I had dressed up all fancy like, but still covered up. After a few wines, he bellowed across the table, "Well! Isn't wavylines dressed like a SLAG!". Him madly laughing, everyone else exchanging uneasy frozen smiles."Oh sorry!" quoths the mentaller."I meant SLUT!"
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:55, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Hello new person
Expect everyone to call you Bert. Just a warning
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Not to mention the frightful pandering as she claims to be female.
fucksake
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Sorry, I meant to type
Well, hello!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Don't worry you did.
And you a married man. Now I need to redress the balance.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Hi there
:)
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Don't encourage him!
He's a sex pervert!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Says you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Well, yes, I did
Just up there^

Look
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Oh yeah

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

What an utter charmer.
Greetings, Newbie.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I've been lurking for about 6 years
so I'll try not to disgrace myself.
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I remember you! YOUR the cunt who shot phil mitchell!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Good good
Ignore Quentin, he's a bit of a pain in the arse.

I sympathise on the mental boss front, it's the same here. Granted, he doesn't tend to do things that bad, though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

It's 'cos you get your tits out all the time

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

This is true
The picture of me on my profile appeared in work again this week, twas entertaining.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:12, Reply)

at least i got a mum

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Like I said, bit of a pain.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

pain is french for bread
LOL
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Better sliced then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

you want to slice him mum?
you sick fucker, it'd be like old ham
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

In that case who's your faveourite?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

*neediness explosion*
Although the answer should be entertaining. And guaranteed to result in abuse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I suspect that it is me, sorry

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:36, Reply)

In the interests of ballance:
Fuck off Bert

And if you're not Bert: tits of GTFO.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

I am very disappointed that you are using this site in working hours
And in my defence, you were dressed like a slag.

My office. Five minutes.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:04, Reply)

"On your way up, you'll see a package from a 'Noel', please bring that with you."
"Yes, and the lube too"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:05, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

He's the type
to go in dry
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Sounds like you speak from experience

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Hahaha
Thank the Lord, I'm on school holiday. I'm a teacher so hold the heavy-paedo breathing/steamy lenses
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Oh noes
What do you teach?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Classrooms full of children, I'd wager.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

English to them there forrins
Not a REAL teacher. Glorified children's bloody party entertainer half the time...
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Well, that's fucked my joke royally up the arse I must say.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

A royal arse fuck
sounds classy to me
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

One does love one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Not wearing my glasses today
If you're about tomorrow I'll pre-steam them to save you any effort. I'm nice like that.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Yes please
please cover yourself in a thin layer of slime and grease too.
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Will spaff do?
Easier to get my hands on spaff
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

You could get a collection going on the board
I'm sure all these guys will be happy to help.
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I have plentiful sources of my own
(To explain; everyone here likes to accuse me of chronic bumderism, and I find it more amusing to play along than to stamp my feet and tell them repeatedly that I'm not, which was my original tactic)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

shut upi bumm-o

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

I love bumders!
let's paint each others toenails and analyse all the mens on the board
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Yay! Slumber party!
*cosies up to new girl, looks smug*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:55, Reply)

OMFG I CAN'T BELIUEVE YOU'D DO THIS TOT ME!

(Battered., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Fuck right off.
He's mine bitch.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:01, Reply)

This is true. I am promised.
wavylines, wavylines, wavylines, wa-vy-lines... I'm beggin' you please don't take my man
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:06, Reply)

As if 'she' could
I have at least one thing she, allegedly, dose not. And you love it, don't you baby?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:11, Reply)

*moans appreciatively and slightly too convincingly*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Mmmmm.
You like that Bitch?

I got more.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:12, Reply)

*panics and heads for the border*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Unconvincing
There's no way in hell the missus would call herself "Mrs"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:06, Reply)

Primary or secondary?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Hi Bert.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Bert?
'Splain please!
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Bertmonkeysex was a regular user of this board. As his mental health went south, he admitted to shagging his underage long lost half sister on here. kept coming back under various new usernames, hence why every noob is accused of being him.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Whoah
! Dunno what to say to that. I definitely don't remember shagging any family members.
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

I'll wager you were the sister
but you've blocked it out.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

out up
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Only way to keep the inbred mutant baby up there.
Best thing for all concerned really.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:34, Reply)

the world does not need Bert spawn of anykind

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Dear god, could you imagine?
That said, BM has kids...
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

This from someone who's "lurked for 6 years"
I call shenanigans.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

*strokes chin*
Good point
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Are you sure?
I mean 'she' has 'tits' you know, you might want to go on being nice and polite, just in case.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I'll see them first then decide

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Do you have a problem
with my ovaries?
(wavylines ~~~~~~~~~~, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:44, Reply)

Moi?
I have no problem with your alleged ovaries, some of my best friends hav ovaries.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Look I'm sorry about all the other people in this thread.
They're all either benders, sweaty-handed pervs or chronic dullards.

Luckily, I am none these things, so for the knock-down price of a tastefully-shot titgaz I will protect you from these knock-kneed simpletons.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:22, Reply)

See, now this is how it's done.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:24, Reply)

that sounds exactly like somehting bert would say

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)