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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Bloody hell!
This place is deader than Monty's credit rating.

So, is everyone at their Xmas lunch? You wouldn't answer if you were anyway.

Turkey. Not nice or cooked badly?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:13, 134 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I've not had a christmas lunch
for 5 days, now! I think my next one is actually Christmas.
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I haven't had a Christmas lunch full stop as yet
ARGH!
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

fix this now

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Outrageous!!
That's Con-Dem Britain for you.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

bastards

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Nick Clagg for you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I am one hour and 15 mins away from FREEDOM!*
* Apart from working tonight again
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I snuck out early
with a big box of marking which I will ignore until next year :(
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

It's alright I've just posted

(

Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

I've just finely-chopped two kilos of onions.
I win.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

interesting version of 'win'

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

That's a fuckton of onions.
Whatcha' makin'?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

small children cry

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Caramelised red and white onion chutney.
A fuckton of it *goes to put four bottles of balsamic vinegar in the pan*
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

oh I tried that
it was great until I realised I'd only made almost one jar full. Should be ready to eat about now
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Hence the two kilos of onions.
I'm making one big batch today to see how many jars I can fill, and I'll do the same again tomorrow if it's less than ten. Got lots of pressies to give out.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Christ, your eyes must be weeping like a syphilitic penis

(berk, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Nope, not a single tear shed.
Dunno what that is, maybe it's genetic.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

better check with quentin.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

I'm sure this is witty and charming but it's gone over my head.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

His discussion about the causes of gayness in the last thread.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

OH yeah I missed that.
How are you anyway?
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Far too busy to be on here
but on here anyway.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

No.
It's not genetic or due to the way you were brought up. Not crying when peeling onions is part of a cornucopia of reasons that scientists cannot explain due to being complete benders.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Maybe cos I wear glasses and use a properly sharp knife.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

If you leave the base of the oinion on as you chop, you will get far less fumes, TRUFAX

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Bollocks

(Bazongaloid, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:58, Reply)

The chemical that irritates your eyes is in the core.
So there might be some truth to that.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 16:01, Reply)

No, I have my first this evening
has anyone ever had deep fried turkey?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJrMr22vefo
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Yes. It was done in a pressurised deep fat fryer.
It were lush.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Me too!
Very, very tasty and suprisingly un-fatty.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Very surprising.
I thought it'd be rank.

It was really, really nice.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

have you got Quentin on ignore and
thus missed that big old thread?
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I seriously don't understand why a lot of people have a problem with Quentin.
He isn't offensive and he doesn't try to halt all conversation all the time.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

It's because many people suspect he's Bert, but he's not.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Is Bert OT's version of Bou, then?

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Pretty much,
IRL on the sex offenders register for fucking his 15 year old half sister a few years back.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

OH! I heard about that one!
Fair enough. Carry on.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

I do.
Sorry I missed it.

Apologies if I stomped it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

it was on its last legs

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

loads of replies, biggest thread all day before i even joined in

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

His proliferation can kill threads, that's my only issue
and he's a cunt
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

WAHT?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

wot?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:30, Reply)

what you just said was pretty upsetting and i didn't like it
i'm gonna make a real effort ot change now, jsut you wait and see

we're all gonna be best budz, thats for sure, you and me bucko, you an me against the whole dang world
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

It seems more difficult to kill threads over here.
I wouldn't have thought it was an issue.
Either way, I quite like him.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

playstationeu.i.lithium.com/t5/image/serverpage/image-id/4788i41801185BEB2689E/image-size/original?v=mpbl-1&px=-1
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Basically, I'm hoping you turn out to be a girl with all tits and that.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

i've got tits

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

That does a massive disservice to cunts.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Seemed okay to me.
I was enjoying the conversation about whether gayness was a curable disability or a terminal one.

No. And yes I would. I'm pathetic. I'd answer on my phone rather than talk to my colleagues.

I like turkey when it is cooked well. I am too lazy to cook it well. We will have beef on Christmas day.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

What cut you having?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Middley.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

I didn't know horses ate cows

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

It's as much a horse as you are a caveman.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:27, Reply)

You'll be telling me you aren't Christmas, next.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

I'm a cavewoman
also captain of guinea pigs
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Yeah. They're pricks.
We've 'ated them ever since Old Ma Mooheffer ate my great-grandad's special patch of turf he was saving for Christmas.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

That is, I'm not a horse.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Sounds like horsetalk to me.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:30, Reply)

just the kind of thing a horse would say

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Some pigs have moved in next door.
We're neigh-boars.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Needs to be bone in rib-eye.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I'm half cut on shit Cava again
The way Christmas should be.

Turkey is a really nice meat. Lends itself well to expert cooking and stronger flavours than chicken. Berries, light reds can all work well with it, not so much with Chicken. Plus who doesn't like Coronation Turkey with crusty bloomer, mango chutney and spring onions on Boxing Day? Nom.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

i want to be drunk, too
but I have to drive later :(
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I'll give you a lift on my bike
Should be fun :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I've been writing cathartic letters to my ex
detailing my feelings about organised religion and my son going to Sunday school.

Anyway, I feel a lot better about that, or at least I will until she replies.
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Oh man, he is going to be brainwashed nd bummed into next week

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Yup.
This is sadly true.
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

And that's just for Christmas!

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Whoa.
That's a bit heavy for 36 hours before Jesus' birthday.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Actually he was most likely born in April

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:30, Reply)

He was dead by then you IDIOT.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Whoa that's a bit heavy for 36 hours after Easter.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

All this internet deceit is getting out of hand.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I didn't start this shit.

(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Can you not run "anti-christian" lessons?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:33, Reply)

it's fucking tempting

(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:34, Reply)

i see no reason not to
There is no such thing as a christian child, only a child with christian parents.
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

because taking a specific side
rather than making it all about discussion of an interesting topic is better?
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

because I hate organised religion more than almost anything

(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:37, Reply)

The Catholic church is one of my advertising clients...

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

and yet still I try not to hate you.
"free lube in Sunday schools"?
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Oh nakers : (
We'd have been less upset if you'd have told us it was the scientologists.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Actually, yes, marginally.
they are my second least favourite religion.
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:44, Reply)

L. Ron Hubbard is my ultimate hero.
Publicly saying "I'm going to set up a religion ot make money" and then actually managing to do it afterwards is an AMAZING achievement.
Don't get me wrong, I think all scientologists are stupid pricks. But L. Ron was a fucking genius.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:44, Reply)

He really understood the stupidity of the human race.

(

girlinthehole, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Yes.
He totally nailed it. Fucking hero.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Well not really!

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:48, Reply)

I just left it up to kiddo.
When she asked me about it aged about five I told her the truth, that I'm not a believer, she took it in and carried on. A further ten years of school-based indoctrination hasn't effected her judgement - she's atheist and proud now, just trust your boy to see sense when he's older.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:44, Reply)

Or get him the Little Book of Pagan Spells for christmas.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:44, Reply)

I told him this but his hatred runs deep.

(

girlinthehole, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:46, Reply)

You should have kicked it into him, right through his balls.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:47, Reply)

I love the way atheism has a way of being
less intolerant of other ideologies. Oh...wait...
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:49, Reply)

I'm not an atheist, atheists are cunts.

(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:55, Reply)

*you're* a cunt

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Yup.
But not an atheist.
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Who did? The Jews?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Hardly.

(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Dear Ex
Although it's my opinion that your beliefs make you a cretin, you are perfectly entitled to them. However please stop brainwashing my son.
Yours, no love,

CQ.
(berk, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

LOL
Excellent, this is want I should have written, sadly I was 'reasonable. Oddly she wa s an atheist last time we talked about it.
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I imagine mine was rather more succinct
mainly because he's not my kid. I would be rather more...vituperative, should anyone attempt to turn my kid Christian, or any other religion.
(berk, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

When I am king
you can be my minister for religious affairs.
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:43, Reply)

Perhaps the sunday school thing is less about religion than it is about discipline and routine and learning and socialising.
*shrugs* I dunno, I'm clutching at invisible straws here.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:46, Reply)

very likely
ANd he has a brain, he'll either see through it of manage to turn faith into a good thing, I just hate having to have anything to do with it and for all my posturing, I won't say a word on the subject unless directly asked, and even then will be respectful, because he's a child and pushing beliefs of any kind makes you a cunt. and that's what I believe.
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

Can I just be minister for affairs.

(

girlinthehole, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:47, Reply)

There's no just about it.

(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:54, Reply)

I was looking for a job
stereogum.com/612881/def-leppard-tribute-band-seeks-one-armed-drummer/news/
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Who else is going to pay you £6.50p/h for your time?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Ever since my sperm donor job, ah, dried up, I've been a little short of funds.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

"No dope fiends"
bad luck mate I was going to offer to cut your arm off
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

I have been cleaning out the staff fridge.
I work with disgusting excuses for human beings.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Do you not have cleaners?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Yeh, but they don't do that bit.
Can't say I blame them.
Anyway, being a manager, I made executive decisions when faced with expensive half-wrapped cheeses, tupperware filled with oddness and tubs of soup - BIN THE FUCKING LOT.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:34, Reply)

If you're a manager dlegate the job to a grad or other underling

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Nope. I delegated work to them to free me up for ruthless behaviour.

(

thealternativefact, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:37, Reply)

She prefers being called
Office Cleanliness Technician
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:34, Reply)

OH. YOU WANTED TO SEE THIS:

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Oh Balders, you are lovely.

(

thealternativefact, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Cheers love.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

CLENDRIX, THE ONIONS! THE ONIONS ARE ON!

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:47, Reply)

i just looked up a chimp raping a frog on youtube and i'd like my money back please

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Are you still paying for youtube via standing order to a nigerian bank?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:40, Reply)

no i send them a cheque every week to keep making those annoying orange videos

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

You can set up a direct debit online.
Sometimes they only charge me for 10 videos when I've watched like 15, idiots.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:49, Reply)

No thanks necessary.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Good news for narcoleptics.
Only 200 sleeps 'til Xmas.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Badumtish.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:43, Reply)

Still trying to do work,
failing miserably. I used to get stuff done till I found a way to get to B3ta through the filters at work. Now I get fuck all done in the afternoons.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:50, Reply)

All the mirror sites are blocked here.
But I can use the IP.
Wasallthaddabowt?
What do you use?
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 15:55, Reply)

somehow jelly.b3ta.com works for me,
only one that does.
Can't get to anything else on the internet apart form sites approved by IT, not even google, but that seems to work.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 16:01, Reply)

How is google not approved?
Who the fuck do you work for?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 16:03, Reply)

We're not supposed to be able to access anything excpet the sites we need for the restaurant,
so the ordering system, and the head office website and a couple of other things like an approved weather website and our e-mails.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 16:04, Reply)

China

(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 16:10, Reply)

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