Cripes
First day back at work after new years break (three days) and I'm as hungry as my fat cousin at an all you can eat buffet. Only three days off did this.

I dont have a question, I may have eaten it.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 17:54, 42 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

For some odd reason
I didn't eat much over Xmas, and the greediest cunt alive normally.

I think I must have AIDS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 18:03, Reply)

Besides eating my bodyweight in Wensleydale cheese I've hardly touched fuck all this Xmas.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 18:22, Reply)

every time I see you online
I think of a cat I used to own called Monty. He moved out to live with a family who had two young girls. I once walked past their house and he was sat in a pink push chair looking smug.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 19:28, Reply)

I am full of slow cooked beef in beer
and gnocchi. Might open a bottle of wine now...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 18:44, Reply)

and I will come over
Just so long as you have red.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 19:20, Reply)

I think I'd come over even
if it were yellow
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 19:28, Reply)

Cavy!!
Yellow wine, isn't wine, but it's still ok to cook with.

Yellow snow, is still snow, but no good for anything other than just being yellow snow.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 19:30, Reply)

*takes notes*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 19:30, Reply)

We are getting off subject though
Mr Chains seems to have food and he hasn't told us not to go to his house. Get your coat cavy and I will bring my cup.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 19:32, Reply)

I'll get me tankard

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 19:33, Reply)

You do that sunshine

(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 19:58, Reply)

*puts on short-short silk dressing gown*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 21:27, Reply)

*puts on Barry White CD*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 21:29, Reply)

*lights candles and dims lights*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 21:29, Reply)

*Barricades door and clutches winebottle possessively*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 21:29, Reply)

It's a 2007 Barolo
lush.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 20:29, Reply)

I will teleport myself into a cocktail dress
and teleport straight over.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 20:59, Reply)

Oh Christ it's come to this
NYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMSNYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMSNYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMSNYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMSNYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMSNYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMSNYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMSNYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMSNYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMSNYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMSNYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMSNYOMNYOMNYOMGLOMPSTEACUGGLESSAMMICHESANDCAFEWIFTEANYOMNYOMNYOMPROFFERSKITTUMS
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 21:13, Reply)

I proffered nothing
You're just jealous of my animal magnetism open bottle of wine and big pot of stew.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 21:21, Reply)

VERILY

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:04, Reply)

Anyone ever wish they would keep old QOTW threads open.
I have remembered a gem for "School Naughtiness"
For the curious it is the intriguingly titled "Nearly eaten by a spastic"
(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Tue 3 Jan 2012, 21:39, Reply)

Post it in OT tomorrow.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 3 Jan 2012, 21:41, Reply)

Amazing.
Thanks for posting this. No really. Thanks.

you dull fucker
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 21:44, Reply)

speaking of which
we are watching a programme about the 74 stone woman who was accused of killing her nephew... jeeeeeeeeeeeez. there are so many rolls of fat and sores, it's fucking rank!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 21:55, Reply)

Like looking in the mirror for you eh?
Btw: what's all this "we" business? Don't tell me you either now think you're royalty or you've snared another homo in to your lair.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 21:59, Reply)

i have a flatmate
you grumpy little jamrag, you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:02, Reply)

I didn't realise you were that poor that you had to result to operating your spare room as a bedsit.
EDIT: or so lonely that you have to have someone at home to listen to you.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:04, Reply)

i always have someone squatting here!
this one's been here about a year, is just about to move in with her bf. not paying rent for a year has let her save up a deposit innit!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:09, Reply)

by Christ it gets worse. You have to let people stay with you for nothing to have some company. Fucking hell.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:12, Reply)

it's funny because
i am thinking of stuffing courgettes in my ears just to get some FUCKING PEACE AND QUIET!

chat chat chat chat chat... any new flatmate will be male. they know when to shut the fuck up!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:13, Reply)

With your track record you'll select a male flatmate who you'll find out after a while is a mincer

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:16, Reply)

But only after she's sucked him off.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:17, Reply)

And swallowed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:18, Reply)

+ a dozen pork pies.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:23, Reply)

good
he can come shopping with me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:24, Reply)

+ for doughnuts

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:25, Reply)

+ and tubs of lard

(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:32, Reply)

+ burgers

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:34, Reply)

Lard burgers come in tubs?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:40, Reply)

Nah, they come in tubbies.
Tubbies who eat them.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:45, Reply)

Well it's pleasant on here tonight
you all got your periods or something?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 22:50, Reply)

I wondered what the smell was

(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Tue 3 Jan 2012, 23:22, Reply)