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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I just gone done some shopping at the morrisons.
Oh god its feels so good to be out of the tiranny of ASDA. I got a pestol and morter, and 2 cemeric dishes so I can make little pies, and some plastic boxes to put the cerial and pasta in, and loads of ingredients to make good food related products. OH, and I got some tin foil things I can shove in the oven.

I also had some fish'n'chips in morrisons that was very nice, the cafe their is actually well good.

I got some herbs and spice and options chocolate drink thing.

I almost bought a washingmachine because it has an LED pannel so I can see exactly what the fuck it's doing, but I remembered I can't plumb it in and I donno when/if my handy man can do it.

My stomach feels like someone has punched my guts in and is now pressing hard on the bruise.

I dumped in the Mind shop two big chests of draws, two big bags of clothes and a huge microwave. My new microwave is purple, not as powerful, doesn't have a CHAOS DEFROST button, but it doesn't take up 25% of my worktop space.

memememmememmemmememememmeme, tell me about YOU.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:01, 126 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Chaos defrost?!!!
You're microwave has an alignment?! Good, Evil or Neutral?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:03, Reply)
True story, someone on here explained it as that it randomises it's injection of radiation, causing an uneven and randomisation defrosting, and therefore it doesn't change the texture of whatever you're defrosting.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:12, Reply)
and don't take no shit from da man

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:15, Reply)
or your nan.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:19, Reply)
Hi Gonz!
I've got some home decor chat for you. I bought some 300 thread count bedclothes the other day. They're awesome, you should get some.

Also, I found a floor lamp that I'm going to buy. It's all industrial looking, like something you'd find on a 1950's film set. It's cool.

As you were
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:04, Reply)
Oh man, I'm not sure what that is, I mean, the thread count thing. I'm going to cheshunt tomorow to buy some clothes and maybe some more homewares.
Is that like the TOG count on the dovay? Or do you mean like PJs? Oh man, if I could get some silk PJs I'd love that, I'm gonna find some. It would be so nice to wear silk PJs and my fluffy dressing gown while chilling out on my new couch next week. It'll be a texture sensation the like of which I have never known.

Link up me to the floor lamp please, I think I need to et one, but not sure if I gonna get that or a table one. Yesterday I bought some black twig-like sticks with lights on that has un-bore-ifide a corner of the livingroom.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:26, Reply)
Cheshunt is such a shit hole, what could you possibly being buying there?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:31, Reply)
It's pure cotton and I think the thread count is how many strands are in a square inch.
The higher the number the better, standard sheets are about 150 thread count, and quite often a polyester mix.

Here's the floor lamp www.diy.com/nav/decor/lighting/indoor-lighting/table___floor_lamps/-specificproducttype-floor_lamps/Bobo-Floor-Lamp-Chrome-Effect-10587501
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:31, Reply)
Ahh, cool. My bath towels are egyption cotton, as there wasn't much difference in price and they came in more colours (hot-pink and black).
I'm gonna be honest, I'm not enamoured with B&Q's lighting department at the moment, I've got all my lighting from dunland?duneland?something like that.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:49, Reply)
Mind is a good charity
good choice gonz
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:07, Reply)
The shop floor is a little higher than the pavement and I nearly tripped and I started laughing...
... they looked at me weirdly, and I told them not to worry about it, but all I could think was that they should put a sign up saying "Mind the step".
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:11, Reply)
I like how your spreading the word about your pestle and mortar.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:16, Reply)
Thank you, racists need to be informed too.
im very upset you fucking toad.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:28, Reply)
Why are you upset?
And why am I a fucking toad?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:30, Reply)
Why are you NOT a fucking toad, Al?
I put it to you that you ARE one.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:36, Reply)
But, but, but ....
I don't think I can produce any evidence to show that I'm not, so, so maybe, maybe I am. Oh god.

I'm so sorry Monty.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:38, Reply)
That's OK Al, I'm one too.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:42, Reply)
Oh thank goodness.
Maybe we could be toads together eating hot meat.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:42, Reply)
It's time for more hot, toady meat.
Last time I went to Needoo's the waiter was lolling about how we all love Dry Meat so much - then he spoonfed me with it out of the bowl.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:44, Reply)
Oh sorry, I thought you were following this thing on facebook, which was why you mentioned it.
https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=296183097100037&id=145019135549768¬if_t=like
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:39, Reply)
No I wasn't but that's hilarious.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:41, Reply)
=D

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:49, Reply)
Plumbing in a washing machine is a peace of piss, honestly
three pipes and then plug it in, no tools required.

this assumes you have the plumbing in you flat to attach it to.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:29, Reply)
Two pipes.
You only need the cold water feed. The machine will heat it's own hot water.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:34, Reply)
HIYA
fancy doing something on the 12th ive got some ting here for you
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:34, Reply)
OH ROSIE, YOU ARE MY POSIE

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:41, Reply)
I AM DOING INTERNET

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:47, Reply)
So am I. Until 6pm

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:47, Reply)
i am also doing cooking

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:49, Reply)
What you cooking?
I did Quilli last night and tonight I'll do Quicken, peppers, black bean sauce
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:52, Reply)
new potatoes green beans and turkey i beat the granny out of stuffed with philly rolled in parma ham
i dont fuck abaht. i was telling the boys at work about the fat fucker last night. we had a ten minute discussion about its gunt and cleaning methods applied
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:56, Reply)
oh man that was terrible. that poor octopus
Your food sounds gooooorgeous.
I make something a bit like that but i like it with MASH.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:58, Reply)
we eat the best foods
it is 6pm
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:00, Reply)
YES ! Deffo & Ditto.
My sofas come on the 12th, how about we do a JustEat at the new flat? I really want to show it off to you.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:41, Reply)
cool ive got dance but it finishes at half five so i'll mooch round after that
gaz me an address pls thx
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:47, Reply)
Sweet, done.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:51, Reply)
Don't tell internet weirdos where you live!
Page one, Gonz. Page one.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:54, Reply)
You did a dump in a charity shop? You are a bad man.
Today has been a mixed bag for me. This morning we had our (well, I say 'our', it's his really) yearly check up with the oncologist, and it looks like mr b3th is going to hang on for at least a couple of years. so that's good.

Then five minutes ago I saw taht picture of the dog with its face blown off and now I can't stop crying. Stupid dogs, being all lovely and getting in your psyche.

Anyway.... hello /ot. How are you all today? Have I missed anything good?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:39, Reply)
yay! no toyboys for you for at least two years!

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:44, Reply)
Woo hoo!
I think even *he* believes it now.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:49, Reply)
yeah so next time he's giving it all "I'm an old man, me ears are knolled, me eyes are old an' bent"
you can say, "shurrup and let's play swingball!"
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:50, Reply)
i'd rather play doctors and nurses.
Though, when you consider what the doctors have done to him over the years, he probably wouldn't.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:51, Reply)
Well, let's not rule it out.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:54, Reply)
Excellent news. You must be hugely relieved.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:47, Reply)
I kind of knew it anyway
it's just him who has been telling everyone he's on the way out. We had a nice lady doctor today, and I think he actually believed her when she said there's a few years before we need to start worrying.
As you say, a bit of a relief all round.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:52, Reply)
:)
(except for the dog-thing, i dont' know what it is and I don't want to)
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:54, Reply)
Oh, I guess if I'm serious, I'm glad that there is no cancer inside him, I'm quite selfless like that.
Oh man, damn, that's shitty, where did you see the picture?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:00, Reply)
No, there's definitely cancer inside him. Quite a bit of it, actually.
It's just that it's not growing *too* fast, and being managed with massive drugs. Yay for massive drugs.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:05, Reply)
Is it true that you shouldn't have any heavy phsyical contact with someone on chemo? There was a girl on chemo who slept in my bed while I was on holiday...
... and they said they have to wash the sheets after because of the chemo, but I said I wanted the smell of girl.

Anyway, if that's true, a girl has needs, a girl has wants, sometimes a credit card and a town centre just won't cut it, if you know what I mean.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:40, Reply)
I'm in my hotel room loading up pictures
spent five hours in the blue lagoon, then explored the city some more. Doing a Northern Lights tour tonight. I am exhausted already though
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:42, Reply)
Did you see Stacy Solomon?
I'm sorry, that was awful, I withdraw that comment. Is it cold and barren?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:43, Reply)
Yup bleak and snowy
minus five degrees I think, and more snow here than they've had in January for a decade. Gorgeous landscape
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:46, Reply)
Monty and Lusty are off to Iceland too.
What is this, everybody gets to go to Iceland and I'm not invited?
WELL, FUCK YOU ALL.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:48, Reply)
Come to Iceland with me.
There's an offer on packs of mixed peppers
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:49, Reply)
I'm in there. I'll be hanging round the frozen aisle clutching my prawn ring and looking hopeful.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:51, Reply)
Oh no, your prawn ring isn't threatening a prolapse again?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:54, Reply)
I'll push it back in with a breadstick.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:55, Reply)
Wise
The cucumbers in Iceland are fucked up marrows
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:56, Reply)
You didn't ask
there was plenty of room in the suitcase :(
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:49, Reply)
(I just saw the pic appear on FB - wow. I am incredibly jealous.)

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:51, Reply)
It's so beautiful
I'm trying to stop myself uploading dozens of pictures though as no-one wants to see loads of holiday snaps
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:59, Reply)
I'm holidaying vicariously through the travel snaps of others, so do it!

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:00, Reply)
When I'm "Down Under" I'll upload lots of pictures of hot and sunny beaches with my quivering beer gut on it.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:02, Reply)
This is the good thing about Iceland
no opportunity for vicarious pictures of beerguts
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:07, Reply)
Start of March I think. We book tomorrow.
V exciting.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:50, Reply)
Oh man, I'm gonna be in australia then.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:53, Reply)
Sucks to be you.
*cries*
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:54, Reply)
If it makes you feel any better
the furthest I'm going to visit this year is Argate.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:56, Reply)
If Lusty's folks weren't paying, the only place I could go this year would be 'work'

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:00, Reply)
I hope you get to see the lights.
It's something I've always wanted to see. take us some good photos if you do.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:58, Reply)
Will do
got my camera all ready. Tonight is our best chance- good forecast for the Aurora, relatively cloudless night, and a meteor shower so possible shooting stars!
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:01, Reply)
I wished on a shooting star once.
true story.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:06, Reply)
Did it work?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:08, Reply)
I wished that mr b3th would fall in love with me.
So yeah, I guess it did.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:38, Reply)
sounds romantic !

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:01, Reply)
I'm decluttering.
Anyone want: an Ikea Antilop high chair (best of all the high chairs), a new fleece scarf with a houndstooth pattern that Catface got for Christmas but swears he'll never wear, a baby gym (cheaper than a real gym and probably as enticing), a bunch of soft toys and old clothes?

Fuck it, we should do a swap shop. Or a car boot sale.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:47, Reply)
Do you have any bathroom cabinets?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:53, Reply)
Yeah, but I'm using it.
Ikea. Go before 11am and get their 99p fried breakfast and free coffee. And a bathroom cabinet.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:56, Reply)
Will do.
When are we committing to the marathon?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:58, Reply)
Signing up on 16th of this month.
I haven't done any training yet. But my intentions are good. Let's do it. Let's totally kick that incredibly difficult cross-country marathon's ass.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:59, Reply)
YEAH!!!!
If I sign up, I will do it. I'm stubborn like that.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:03, Reply)
Me too.
Protestant work ethic and Catholic guilt makes for incredible endurance.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:06, Reply)
I think I've filled 10 skips full of stuff recently, true story.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:02, Reply)
Bye, luv yous, bye, trah

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:57, Reply)
Bye Ar Kid

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 17:59, Reply)
okokokokobyebyebyeokokokokokloveyou...what, no, noooo, ironicly...hahaha...yeah....byebye.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:02, Reply)
apologies to everyone in the last thread
in response to this; b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1486933

i guess i was saying its a bit daft because not everyone knows everyone on this board, or what there capable of. For instance, most of you won't know that one of my closest employees is a former Met officer, who speaks to his old CO every day. I'll run the thread by him when he's back in tomorrow, I'm sure nothing will come of it, but I'm fairly sure that getting monty's IP address would be easy, then using that to get his name and address from his ISP wouldn't be difficult either.

but they'll probably just ignore it like that beheading too eh?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:02, Reply)
Your local MP and Boris Johnson can also assist

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:05, Reply)
thanks, i'll look them up
we need to get this sick filth of the streets
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:05, Reply)
I dunno if he still works at Sun Hill, but the bloke with the enormous nose seemed to know his shit too

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:07, Reply)
what sicknote?
fuck off
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:08, Reply)
Give Scotland Yard a ring and tell them you have important information, but you'll only speak to Sgt Bob Cryer

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:14, Reply)
no need, once my old china's in tomoz i'll have a gab with his super
monty goin down, for srs
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:16, Reply)
I think you've fast tracked yoself for a permaban with the internet vigilantism 'SuperQuentin'

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:21, Reply)
seriously? you reckon i'd get banned for saying that i disagreen with people farming drugs?
i was gonna offer monty the opportunity of asking me not to go to the 5-O, but if I get banned I'll have no reason not to
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:22, Reply)
It's just a feeling I've got Quentin, but threatening fellow forum users wif the old bill might be frowned on
It only takes three people to gazz and yo ass is grass
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:25, Reply)
its not a threat, the guy's breaking the law and my mate's an ex copper
i'm mostly chastising the fool for mentioning it in the first place

*it took 3 attempts for me to spell all of this right
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:26, Reply)
Farewell Quentin

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:29, Reply)
... until your next account

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:29, Reply)
i will be so cheesed off if i get banned for pointing out that farming drugs isn't a brilliant thing to do

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:33, Reply)
not that i give a fuck about what anyone gets up to
but it is awfully easy to know who's who what with facebook and the groups and the bashing and photos and suchlike

stalky stalk stalk
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:11, Reply)
too right, i've got a picture of this bloke already
nad know that he lives in finchley now, the net is closing
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:13, Reply)
it does boggle me how much some dudes share on here

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:14, Reply)
i'm a helicopter pilot and i run my own company
i am 15/40 years old
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:15, Reply)
too much man, too much

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:17, Reply)
I tell you what Gonz.
I am dreading having to buy food again. Such a luxury being at home and it all just being here ready for me to stuff in my gob.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:18, Reply)
Alright Barry, why not find a nice moist arsehole to lick out, that should fill you up for a bit
Maybe mix in some 9p noodles to bulk it up
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:23, Reply)
I got some "Lion Bar" cerial, it's alright.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:42, Reply)
That sounds grim.
I'm a Special K or porridge man. Mostly porridge.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:43, Reply)
porridge smells so fucking good and i want to like it
but it feels like a pile of hot sweet sick in my mouth
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:46, Reply)
You're crackers.
I couldn't imagine anything worse than eating it plain though. Bit of cinnamon and fake sugar and it's totes amaze.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:54, Reply)
i think you could think of something worse

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:55, Reply)
its the texture aint it
i never fucking get yoghurt either. yoghurt tastes like that grim sour flavour you have right after you pewk
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:57, Reply)
A spitter then eh

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 19:00, Reply)
I HAS ICECREAM!
man, why was I so grumpy all week when it turns out ice cream exists and is great?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:22, Reply)

There has been too much talk of ice cream lately.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:25, Reply)
that's because it's summer

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:29, Reply)
I have ice cream, too!
Carte d'Or coconut ice cream. With a tube of Smarties sprinkled on the top.

/smugs
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:40, Reply)
OMG ice cream is so good
I've been single for like a year and a few months and I think I've had ice cream maybe a couple of times in that time - that's wrong isn't it? Aren't Foreveraloner's meant to eat ice cream all the time?
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:43, Reply)
Ice cream or chocolate.
Either's good.

Also, thank you for your advice yesterday. I forgot to say.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:47, Reply)
I have some "chocolate and Rosemary" and "Carmel salted popcorn" flavoured ice creams, from heston bloomingtile.
True story, waste of time, can't taste or sense the rosmary, haven't tried the other one... I'd rather have some dulchay haggondaz.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:42, Reply)
Evening Bellends!
Hope you are all having a nice day.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:23, Reply)
see above

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:24, Reply)
^what she said.

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:41, Reply)
Are you enjoying watching Rovers shit themselves in panic?

(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 18:46, Reply)
Loving it
It is causing no end of amusement.
(, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 19:00, Reply)

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