I once got dumped for peeling an onion the wrong way.
Weekend planes invlove going to a football match, sorry.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:53, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Were you doing it with her cats teeth or something?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:56, Reply)

I may as well have been for the reaction I got.
Apparently I was taking off a layer too much and 'wasting onion'.

Which turned into a diatribe about how I never do anything right, how if I would only listen to her sometimes then all our problems would be solved but because I never do actually listen or pay attention to what she really wants we are doomed.

Bit of a fuss over an onion.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:58, Reply)

I think the onion was probably a metaphor for your relationship
or something.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)

No Shit, Cumberbatch...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)

in that there were layers of meaning
and made both of you weep
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)

Acknowledging your Pixies lyric in your sig, here.
That is all.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)

that line always makes me laugh

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:09, Reply)

It made her cry

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)

I made her cry.
And beg.

And drink from the bowl.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)

Weekend planes?
What with Quentin and his 'helicopters' it's like fucking Heathrow in here these days.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:56, Reply)

I'm flying to the game.
I'm not. But I could have been, if fucking Bilel Fucking Mohsni wasn't such a useless fucking cunt. I could be flying to Liverpool today.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)

he's gone quiet again
must be time for his flying lesson.

sorry, to re-fill the napkin dispensers.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)

I like it imagine that
in between burger flips he sticks his arms out and runs round the place going 'neeeeeeaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww'

I realise that's planes, but helicopter would involve rotating his penis and I didn't want to think about that
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)

this is probably much closer to the truth
than any of us could ever imagine
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)

There was a website based around something similar
I wonder if that was him.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:08, Reply)

You spin me right round baby, right round, like a record baby...

(berk, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:13, Reply)

My weekend plans also involve football.
Me, my dad, granddad and brother are going to the game tomorrow. There's nothing I want to do less but my dad is well looking forward to it. On a better note I'm taking my dream girl out afterwards tomorrow evening. On a worse note I guarantee she cancels on me when I phone her later today.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)

PMA BAZ

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)

What's PMA? I'm not down with the kids and their street lingo.
If she drops out I will cry. I mean that.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:06, Reply)

Purple Monkey's Anus

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:11, Reply)

Perhaps she likes confident men.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)

She does. Incessant blowjobs.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)