Mixed...
Eating Jaffa cakes, listening to the Flaming Lips and trying to think of the best way to tell my son that his grandad has died. I also have a baby who smells of poo lying on my chest.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:05, 9 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

How old is your son?

( girlinthehole, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)

25

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Then tell him the worms are eating him away.

( girlinthehole, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)

He's six
He kind of knows it is coming.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Ask chompy.
He's the child expert. He's read a book and everything.
( girlinthehole, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Is the baby you need to tell?
Because I don't think they'll really understand you.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)

She took it really well

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Hands up if you've got a grandad
... not so fast.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Haha
He still has my dad, so it's not all bad....
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Totally should have read this first.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Also, there was a program on last night about these freakazoid mothers
one of whom didn't use nappies and just kept in constant contact with her kid and just "knew" when it needed to shit, another who cooked other peoples placentas for them and one who was a pole dancer (totally empowering), her phone ring tones were soundtracks from porn films (as in the grunting and gasping, not the music) and she was telling her 14 year old son that women with fake tans and tit jobs looked better than other women, but also wouldn't let him go out of the house unspupervised because she was worried about "bad sorts".
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)

*facepalms*
Oh well! more future work for the pschoanalysts.
( girlinthehole, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)

I find mime to be a sensitive medium.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Text him
Granddad

+ +
:
.....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)

fucksocks
Doesn't work once you post it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)

I was thinking of choreographing a ballet
But I'm not sure thre is time before he finishes school.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Just do some body-popping
whilst chanting 'Grandad's dead' in a faux-robotic vocoder style voice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Maybe some break-dancing?
"What did you want to tell me, dad?"

"Hang on, I can totally do this spinning thing"
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:25, Reply)

Be honest with him, but give him the whole 'better place' lark

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)

When we got our old dog put down we told our daughter that she had gone to heaven, etc.
She keeps asking if Maddie (the dog, not the girl under the patio) is happy in Hebburn. This probably only makes sense if you are from the NE
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:14, Reply)

Wiv da angles?
Pretty sure he knows I don't believe that shit.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Not necessarily Heaven, but just 'a better place'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Like Yorkshire?

( girlinthehole, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Normally I'd attempt a pisstake here, but I really liked Todmorden, thought the place was gorgeous

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:19, Reply)

I was gutted to find that I was really keen on Lancaster.
Don't tell anyone though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:22, Reply)

ie he's moved out of the Midlands

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Haha
You beat me to that reply.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Grandads dead, grab a stick and I'll let you poke him

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:23, Reply)

What you do is get all his mates 'round, and you get them all to stand in a line...
... and then you say "Would everyone with one grandfather take one long step forward", and some of the kids will take a step, some won't. Then you say "Would everyone with a second grandfather please take another long step forward", and some kids will step forward, some kids won't, but when your kid goes to step forward and say "Not so fast son, you can only do one step".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)

True story, I remember when my only grandparent died, I was about 7 or soo, I mean, I remember my mum telling me about it and she was all upset.
I could see she was sad but I couldn't work out why because now I can spend saturdays playing with my friends instead of going to see him. This is where Karma fucked me over, 'cus instead of getting to play with my friends, I had to work in my Dad's shop instead.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:29, Reply)

Oh, and sorry for your [or maybe more as in your wife's] loss.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)

On another point, this is why I think everyone should have a grandparent and a pet...
... it should be that your pet dies, so you learn about death and all that. Then you granddad dies which is a lot worst but still understandable. Then your parent dies, which is even worst soo, but you're now used to it so it's OK.

'cus let's face it, Lion King might be rented out at Blockbusters.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:34, Reply)

0o0o0o0o0oh, yeah', that's how I'd do it.
Get him to watch The Lion King, let walt disney do all the hard work, and then at the end say "You know grandpa, yeah'? Well, same thing, innit".

This isn't a bad idea if you do it less foreseashusly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:35, Reply)

Hopefully at the funerial, as he inexplicity sees all these people he knows crying, sees his aunty and uncles trying to be brave and not cry, seeing everyone biting their upper lip and trying to be british about the whole thing...
... knowing that something is lost, but not quite sure knowing what. Only understanding that they'll be one less person around the table at christmas dinner, one less pressent under the tree. Knowing that when he turns 18 they'll be a few quid for him that might pay for him to go to Uni, but thinking that uni would be horrible, just like school. Wondering why he has to wear his big-boy clothes....etc....

All he'll be thinking is. "It's our problem free, philosphy, Hakuna Matata.".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)