Not been in here for a while.
What's happening on this dull Monday evening?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Feb 2012, 18:58, 108 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Practising my standup set.
The highlight is going to be when I shout 'pop up pirate!' and then perform an unsatisfying sex act on a breakfast date.

Just the usual on planet D-O-Z.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:14, Reply)

If that's how you choose to spend your evening.
You wouldn't catch me up on stage. I get stage fright at the bloody urinal.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:12, Reply)

Some dirty fucking drunken tramp tried to hug me while I was waiting at the cashpoint. I checked to make sure he wasn't pick-pocket'ing me.
Dirty fucking cunt, I hope his pissed pants freeze to his skin laserations.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:19, Reply)

How diddle Gonz?
That's some beefed up misanthropy, right there.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:21, Reply)

That's unlike you Gonz
usually you give them cash and sandwiches and stuff.
(berk, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:26, Reply)

I think it's more because I don't like drunks, and I don't like being hassled waiting for the cashpoint that is in a dark corner.
If someone is down on his luck via the drink to the point of being homeless, then my sympathy is minimal. I just hope he hasn't got any family that they've fucked up too. I don't think twice about giving food I ain't gonna eat, like my lunch or whatever, but this guy stank of booze and had a can in his hand... and he went after me at a cashpoint. A lot of people would have smacked him for that, and what if I was an old lady? Wouldn't make a difference to him, that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:39, Reply)

Can I just point out I don't know if he was homeless, and I've never meet or seen a homeless person who would do that...
.... so it wouldn't supprise me if he was just a dirty old man.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:40, Reply)

It was going alright till you turned up

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:29, Reply)

Alright Rorypants?
My Mo Wax collection grows ever stronger.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:30, Reply)

what's been added?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:37, Reply)

The Major Force boxset.
I've also ordered MW001 & MW002, acid jazz unfortunately, but the first two releases so very important to have. Also one of the Excursions releases by the Prunes. Oh, and a single sided issue of Rock On by U.N.K.L.E. with a Pointman etching on the flip.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:39, Reply)

Word bruv
You need 1 and 2. I quite like Acid Jazz, horses for courses innit. Some of it were right shite like snow boy and galliano, fucking wankers.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:54, Reply)

when I have the first dozen or so
I can listen to them in sequence and find the point that Mo' Wax went from acid jazz to trip hop. Or, from Mo' Wax to Mo Wax, if you will. An important distinction.

In fact, MW001 is this www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0GOSp0NOr0
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:55, Reply)

What's lavelle up to at teh moment?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:57, Reply)

Playing house and poncing about doing art shows.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:00, Reply)

That sounds alright

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:08, Reply)

He'll never recapture that whole Unklesounds vibe from 02-03.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:10, Reply)

ey up
I now have a sofa and armchairs with drawers in the bottom. It's not quite like that one Jimmy Saville had, but close enough
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:39, Reply)

Do they go with the orange walls?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:45, Reply)

yup!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:52, Reply)

*Amazed*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:55, Reply)

Is it a 'vintage' feel to the house that you're looking for, or is it like one of those houses that they break into cos the smells so bad and find the contents of several skips throughout?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 19:56, Reply)

more like
a single 35 year old art teacher's house
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:04, Reply)

BUT SUFFERING FROM MASSIVE DEPRESSION

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:06, Reply)

you can't be sad in an orange room

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:08, Reply)

MASSIVE DEPRESSION BREAKTHROUGH !!!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:14, Reply)

I thought orange was supposed to make people feel more depressed?
You want a nice neutral pale green, like they have in hospitals.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:21, Reply)

out of curiosity i just looked it up a bit
mostly it's all about creativity and energy. Unfortunately it's also about stimulating appetite, which may explain why I'm eating jaffa cakes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:45, Reply)

Or is it yellow that makes you feel blue then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:54, Reply)

yellow is opposite
blue on the additive colour wheel. so if you stare at yellow for a while you see a blue afterimage

/tenuous
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:59, Reply)

Evening all
I am torrenting MOTD 2 out of which I intend to clip our match (and the league table at the end) and save it for posterity.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:01, Reply)

Is this what it's like following a shit team?
It sounds like it's shit
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:07, Reply)

Guess your team won then?
Who is that, anyway?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:11, Reply)

West Brom
We beat our hated rivals Wolves 5-1 at their place. Never has "You're getting sacked in the morning" been more accurate.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:30, Reply)

Oh so that's why Mick McCarthy got sacked.
I don't have an active interest in the footy, but my housemate listens to Five live a lot.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:35, Reply)

Yep!
And listening to Wolves fans it's apparently two months too late. Some of them have been thanking us on messageboards and comment threads.

Of course, now they're delusional about who they're going to get instead. Everybody knows it's going to be Steve Bruce, but they persist in talking about Rafa Benitez and Sam Allardyce.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:38, Reply)

I know nothing of which you speak.
Like I say, I maintain no interest in football, beyond what I hear on the radio in passing.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:41, Reply)

And no interest in standup by all accounts.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:44, Reply)

Watching, yes. Participating, no, not at all.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:46, Reply)

So I've heard.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:47, Reply)

Is this a cruel jibe at The Luggage's perpetual virginity?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 20:56, Reply)

Well, that and his alter ego.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:00, Reply)

Does Luggo lead a secret double life?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:05, Reply)

gazzed.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:06, Reply)

Who the hell do you think I am?
More for that, who the fuck are you?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:51, Reply)

He's the OG quender
See below.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:55, Reply)

He's Darth?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:59, Reply)

Sorry, you should have said you were a girl.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:02, Reply)

I have no interest in football either. And I am very much a man's man.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:03, Reply)

A quender? I always suspected.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:09, Reply)

Hey, I'm the OG quender.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:10, Reply)

Own Goal!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:01, Reply)

Not a girl.
Oh no, not at all.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:50, Reply)

I'm desperately looking for a new TV show to watch.
Finished Party Down last night and now I'm stuck. Tried Eastbound and Down but couldn't get into it. I'm starting to panic/get slightly bored.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:06, Reply)

Nathan Barley.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:06, Reply)

Watched that bare times.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:11, Reply)

When I was ill this weekend I watched the whole series.
Keep it foolish, yeah?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:12, Reply)

Totally
(fucking Mexico).
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:16, Reply)

You're well brown.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:18, Reply)

does it have to have Down in the title?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:20, Reply)

What 'Down', as in 'Monty Syndrome'?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:21, Reply)

Sherlock.
Or Mad Dogs (but you'll need to find season one somewhere).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:23, Reply)

Mad Dogs
www.imdb.com/title/tt1652218/
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:25, Reply)

Anything to do with dogs, eh?
You are Keith Lard AICMFP.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:27, Reply)

How is your little sniffle?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:33, Reply)

Nearly gone.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:49, Reply)

Fruitella, innit.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:50, Reply)

Whisky.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:52, Reply)

How you mean you run out of Fruitella, man?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:58, Reply)

I'm doing some BOKKO! practice.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:43, Reply)

what out ladies
here come the pheremones!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:45, Reply)

Comfy on your new sofa?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:46, Reply)

yup
not had a proper sofa I can lie out on for a couple of years, I didn't realise I missed it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:47, Reply)

Are you on the sofa or the Jimmy Chair.
Or do you keep swapping?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:50, Reply)

sofa for the mo
I have two of those jimmy chairs, but one's in a draft. Perhaps I will sit in one tomorrow while I eat breakfast.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:51, Reply)

Pull the two chair together, mini Jimmy sofa!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:59, Reply)

has the thought of me flailing to hardcore techno given you a wide on?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:48, Reply)

how could it not
that's some sexually charged moves
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:49, Reply)

you knows it baby

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:53, Reply)

Woss that?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:45, Reply)

BOKKO! is full of awesome.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:48, Reply)

I'll let you be the judge of that, as I don't know what it is.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:50, Reply)

This is BOKKO!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBTLAR3Ookg
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:51, Reply)

According to urban dictionary
It is either a Swedish penis or a Korean dance.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:51, Reply)

sometimes it's both

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:53, Reply)

Cool

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:54, Reply)

indeed

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 21:58, Reply)

Finished cleaning the flat from top to bottom a little while back.
Five hours it took. FIVE PISSING HOURS.

I should really give it a good clean more often, then it won't take half as long.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:11, Reply)

You missed a bit.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:13, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:14, Reply)

lololololol

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:20, Reply)

I divert attention to my hamster for a few brief moments and chaos reigns.
Holy fuckaroonie.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:16, Reply)

You've got a hamster?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:23, Reply)

Yes.
A Syrian hamster. His name is Hercules.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:23, Reply)

Is he trying to over throw you
And are you bombing his cage at regular points in the day?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:26, Reply)

Of course not.
That would be hypocritical of me.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:28, Reply)

Just oppressing him by keeping him in a cage.
With only minimal exercise facilities.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:29, Reply)

He doesn't know what the wheel is for. He uses it as a sofa.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:31, Reply)

Maybe if you stopped stuffing him up your arse he'd need less rest.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:35, Reply)

I've been proper geeking this evening.
Going to watch some sport to balance it out.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:27, Reply)

Sumo?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:28, Reply)

Elaborate

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:30, Reply)

He's calling you fat.
FAHKING 'AVE 'IM BOBBY! FAHKING DO 'IM!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:31, Reply)

I was thinking sumo isn't terribly geeky.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:33, Reply)

I was suggesting you'd enjoy watching fat men in nappies having a pushing contest.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:35, Reply)

I don't mind it either way, might stick a star wars on.
Good day?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:37, Reply)

For a Monday, yes. Quite good.
A document I spent all week on last week was deemed 'too technical' and binned, but aside from that, good.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:41, Reply)

Oh. My mistake.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:36, Reply)