Black and red. Yellow and orange. Yellow and green. Yellow, orange and green.
These are the acceptable combinations of fruit pastilles. Red and orange is tolerable if you've got to the end of the bag with an odd pair like some sort of combinatorial spastic.

Questions? No. Good. Bring on the inanity.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:05, 118 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm not really one for colours I just ram a handful of them down my piehole

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:11, Reply)

It's this lack of discrimination that lost us the empire.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:13, Reply)

red and orange is acceptable
red and black is not. You have seriously misunderstood the concept of fruit pastilles. Also why haven't you got fruit gums, that's what you should spend your time asking
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:15, Reply)

Being an idiot is nothing to be proud of.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:36, Reply)

and yet you declared it of yourself
when you started this thread
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:38, Reply)

i haven't had fruit pastilles since i was 12

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:16, Reply)

Yeah. But you're thirteen.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:35, Reply)

Eric Joyce MP.
What a total pisshead nutcase.
I'm only thankful that he chose to violently assault several democratically elected representatives (including his own whip) AFTER the Canadian Speaker had left with his family.
(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:38, Reply)

Oh fuck, are you back?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:40, Reply)

briefly.

(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:41, Reply)

Splendid.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:41, Reply)

There's nothing wrong with getting pissed at a subsidised bar and starting a fight

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:41, Reply)

first rule of MP fight club, Rory.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:44, Reply)

He did pretty well by all accounts, fucking queers had to call the old bill on him

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:47, Reply)

He's an ex-marine.
And Glaswegian. And the Tories were drinking in the tradition Trot bar in the commons. I'm fucking amazed there weren't fatalities.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:58, Reply)

Squaddies can't help themselves, can they?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:45, Reply)

I believe they spilled his pint

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:48, Reply)

He took six out, that alone is impressive

(wimbley is feeling hungover, Sat 25 Feb 2012, 0:04, Reply)

I can take or leave fruit pastilles, I'll be honest.
So my opinion is really invalid here.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:41, Reply)

As I told Stunned in his lame Jelly Baby thread
Keep your gelatin-based sweets.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:45, Reply)

What kind of jew vegan muslim buddha-sucking cunt doesn't love boiled animal bones in their sweet treats?
You chewless cunt.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 18:47, Reply)

I had some Fruit Pastille 'sours' this week.
They were quite nice.

Not as nice the Skittle sours, but I'd buy them again.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 18:14, Reply)

Where are Barry and PD when you need them?
I'm getting fed up of shoes with leather soles. They don't last 5 minutes (well, 2 months) in winter and I wanted to tap them up for new shoe suggestions.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 18:44, Reply)

How about Docs?
They're...petroleum? Maybe? I dunno. I like docs.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 18:46, Reply)

Not really suitable for work.
I need 'smart' shoes.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 18:48, Reply)

I don't really know about smart work shoes.
Mark McNairy? Grenson?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 18:50, Reply)

aren't the DM shoes smart enough?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:03, Reply)

No idea. I've not looked for any, I might be wrong but I associate DMs with students.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:06, Reply)

Don't bloody tar us with them god awful clompy shoes.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:07, Reply)

True, I end up kicking myself in the ankles when I wear certain pairs
but that's also because I walk like an idiot.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:13, Reply)

I used to wear them when I was a student
and quite often kicked myself in the ankle.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:14, Reply)

I miss my old DM days
I used to have denim ones at one point
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:15, Reply)

Mine were hand me ups.
DJ grew out of them, so I had them.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:17, Reply)

I had shiny dark red ones
for my wedding
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:30, Reply)

I have way too many pairs
the only ones I have real problems with are this style. I don't have them in that colour though. I have them in metallic blue.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:16, Reply)

Did you buy them to sort out your problem of having one leg shorter than the other or something?

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:28, Reply)

Something about hitting things with rhythm sticks.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:35, Reply)

www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=dr+marten+shoes&x=0&y=0
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:07, Reply)

Only if you work in the pubic sector

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:11, Reply)

LIke I dress even that neat - pah!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:15, Reply)

I work in finance.
Not for the Lesbian Right Movement.

And with that, I'm going out for dinner and then to the pub.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:43, Reply)

Fuck off.
Why is everybody talking about sweets when I'm on the first day of my diet?

And in a shit of a mood, to boot.

Fuckthelorrayers.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:09, Reply)

i'm eating ham
i like ham
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:11, Reply)

++++ MORE BREAKING NEWS ON THE HALF HOUR ++++

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:12, Reply)

It's my own fault for being so lardy, really.
*sighs*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:13, Reply)

Ham?
Is someone talking about me?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:19, Reply)

it is completely dry

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:38, Reply)

i like a bit of hard candy
Cherry ftw
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:17, Reply)

I'm in a horrendous mood as well, let's high five.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:29, Reply)

What's pissed on your chips today then?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:30, Reply)

I should be well excited for this weekend.
Just got home to London, Fulham are playing their biggest game of the season tomorrow and I somehow managed to wangle a ticket. Then going to a massive party in Kings Cross where a good mate is DJing. But someone, no names, who was supposed to be coming tomorrow to the club thing with me has now decided she's going away for the weekend with her mates. Oh that's fine I've only come 300 miles because I'd love to see you, you do what you want I don't mind at all.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:34, Reply)

Yeah, that'spretty shit.
I've had an absolute arsehole of a day, and I can't even get ratted because of this stupid diet. There's fuck all on telly, and it doesn't look like there's going to much going on in here tonight to keep me entertained.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:37, Reply)

Go to the pier.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:53, Reply)

Hello you.
I don't think even the pier could help me tonight.

TWO rejections in one week, Jeff. TWO.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:54, Reply)

There was something on the radio the other day
To the effect that the national average is 75 applications for one job.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:20, Reply)

I've just got a tub of pick and mix from Wilkinsons
Did you know that unless you fill the set price cup with the heaviest items possible then it's cheaper to buy it by weight in a bag. I saved a whole 16p buyin it in a cup! 16p!
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:19, Reply)

Fucking useless UPS cunts.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:47, Reply)

If you're looking to bitch and moan, you're in the right place.
Come on then, what have they done?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:52, Reply)

Emailed me at 7am saying you're package will be with you today
Then not put it in the van so I have to drive to Cardiff in the morning.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:55, Reply)

Excellent.
Puts them on a par with Royal Mail, who think that a book of six 1st class stamps is adequate compensation for breaking £150 worth of ornaments.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:56, Reply)

It's just irritating as I have arse loads to do tomorrow.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:58, Reply)

Fucking hell you're a bunch of moaning wankers this evening.
I have cold beer and a curry on it's way. *smugs*
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 19:52, Reply)

Evening Battered.
I have cold beer and a bunch of b3tans on their way.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:07, Reply)

I hope you've locked the silverware away.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:08, Reply)

They're sensible b3tans.
Labs, Badger and Berk. Plus, what silverware?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:10, Reply)

Sorry, I forgot.
You've probably pawned all the silver.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:18, Reply)

*taps nose*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:19, Reply)

Evening DG.
Please pass on my greetings.

That Berk gets around eh? She was out in London with some of us last Saturday.

No Blousie?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:17, Reply)

Sadly not this time.
We shall, however, be seeing her in a couple of weeks time.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:18, Reply)

Ah. She mentioned a weekend when I met her for breakfast the other Sunday. I assumed it was this one.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:20, Reply)

It was going to be, but a change of plan has meant changing her tickets for March.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:21, Reply)

Someone say or do something to lift my spirits.
Hurry.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:31, Reply)

SOAPY TIT WANK!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:32, Reply)

You're a top geezer and all your clothing is fine.
Fucking hell lad - you're too young and too good to be hung up.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:33, Reply)

Cheers geezer.
I've perked up considerably since reading stuff about our derby game tomorrow. I am, for lack of a better word, buzzing. I still wish she was here though.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:53, Reply)

When you get into your late 20's you start to regret might have beens
When you're in your early-mid thirties you start working on possible futures.

You don't do yearning at your age. Slap yourself about the chops you daft cunt.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:59, Reply)

I'm a soppy idiot though, that's my problem.
As soon as I see her I'll be fine. I know she likes me just as much as I like her, it's just a pain she's more elusive than Lord Lucan and Maddy McCann's lovechild.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:10, Reply)

So let me ask you?
A wild growth field full of flowers - can you see it in your mind?

Can you see you both skipping through it, hand in hand?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:15, Reply)

I can see us both lying in the middle doing loads of drugs and laughing out heads off with each other.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:42, Reply)

There's a barbed wire fence around that field.
Always remember that.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:53, Reply)

The turn of events this weekend has made me all too aware of that.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 22:07, Reply)

You can't say we didn't try.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:41, Reply)

I am accidently the best cook in the world ever evah.
I was in Waitrose and they had a half duck with hoe-sin and pancakes for £7. I wanted some spring onion with that, so I got some of that, then I decided that I wanted lettus instead of pancakes, then I decided I wanted teyrakki instead of hoe sin, so I then realised it all added to a lot, so I put the duck back and got just a couple of duck breasts. EXCITING POST, IM SURE YOU WILL AGREE, BUT BEAR WITH ME.

So I covered the duck breast with 5-spice, fried it in some oil 'till I got a crispy skin, added some honey and some soy and chili and put that in the oven. It was then an advert break so I decided that was enough, I took it out, and the duck was perfectly cook, crispy skin. I let it rest, carved it up, then made a boat with the lettus and put in some spring onion and the duck and the juices and OH MY GOD, HOW THE FUCK AM I STILL SINGLE WHEN I CAN PROVIDE AND COOK LIEK THIS ?!?!?!?!??.

I got the name of the pretty girl in waitrose today, elsie. I now need to find an elsie who lives in winchmore hill who had goose for christmas dinner this year; on facebook. Plus I got that doctor girl coming over tomo and I donno if it's a date or not.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:32, Reply)

Nice one Gonz.
We're having prawn saganaki when the rest of the internet shut-ins arrive. Tomorrow it will be beef stifado and pasticio.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:35, Reply)

I'm gonna have to google them up to see what they are, but if your misses is making them, then I'm sure they're beyond lush.
Someone was saying something about something happening up your way but not at yours sometime soon (I'm staying cryptic here so You Know Who* doesn't catch wind) over one of the bank holidies coming up in H1 of this year. I'm probably coming to that, I'm gonna book tickets anyway. I'm determind to fuck off somewhere soon, and this seems as best a time as any =)


* I don't have anyone specific in mind here, except You Know Who, just to mess with some low esteem.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:58, Reply)

You're welcome anytime Gonz, you know that.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:03, Reply)

Totally, and I know that's proper sinsear too =)... and like ways, you both at mine.
I can't wait for you two to see my new place :D
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:11, Reply)

Providing I find work soon, we'll make a trip down for something or t' other.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:14, Reply)

Sweet, you'll be sorted soon 'nuff, you must be near the top on quite a few lists.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:41, Reply)

I can only assume the reason you're still single is that you're a martyr to the filthy weed.
I very much enjoyed talking to you on eBay.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 20:35, Reply)

Yeah', that sucks, but I got other things to quit (or get a handle of) before the fags.
I'm doing well good on my tablets, I was on 150mg a day for like, well, 4-5 years. I get a week's worth every week, and I was going to the doctor every 5-6 days, so really I was probably on 200 or soo. BUT, but, for the last month I've not only been going every 7 days, but I've reduced them to 140 AND I'm having left-overs most days

... this week I'm a day over, so that's going from that 200 odd down to 120-130, not far off a 65% drop inside a month, on a habit that started 5 years ago, and even then, I was on lighter-but-same-catagory of stuff since I was 12. I'll always need them, but at least it's not stupidly high.

Saying that that though, I bet the fags'll be harder.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:09, Reply)

Good evening fellow Friday night shut-ins
Tonight I am shut in with Ornette Coleman and some Brakspear Oxford Gold.
What have you got?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:04, Reply)

The heating on and a cold beer.
And the Macc Lads on the stereogram.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:06, Reply)

Good stuff
It's a bit warm now for the heating, but the boiler is in my son's room so I'll have to live with it.
I assume in the grim north you need it year round.
What time are you expecting your Internet weirdos? Or are the already there and you are all sitting typing into your individual machines?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:10, Reply)

They'll be arriving about 10.
And to be fair, the heating's been off most of the day, I've just stuck it on for half an hour to take the edge off a bit.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:13, Reply)

And you can't beat Beer 'n Sex 'n Chips 'n Gravy

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:16, Reply)

Quite.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:17, Reply)

And "Charlotte is the biggest slag in Macc."
My favourite.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:19, Reply)

Are you advocating the album or those individual items?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:18, Reply)

Oh, the album.
But the message it conveyed was far more pervasive than any Queen album played backwards.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:22, Reply)

Now it's all gone a bit dead
I've about 30 mins until crash time.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:30, Reply)

Just having my scran, I hate eating so late.
Downloaded some fresh Jah Wobble yesterday, been mixing that with Beasty Boys today.
Interesting!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:36, Reply)

I'm out of here
I have work to do tomorrow.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:50, Reply)

;)
I'm off for a shower, a wank and a shave.
Tune in next time etc xxx
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 21:57, Reply)

I only eat one at a time.
I'm going to bed now.
I have been packing/chucking stuff out for three hours.
My mate bought me a Superlambanana!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 22:11, Reply)

NIGHT NIGHT ROOTA HAVE A NICE SLEEP AND A LOVELY WEEKEND REMEMBER NOT TO COMBINE RED AND ORANGE LIKE SOME SORT OF FRUIT SPAZTILLE

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 22:36, Reply)