the one who was so hopeless that he simply couldn't get it in might be good for TGB and her cavernous vadge
as at least he'd be able to find it. well, good for him. not for her.

otherwise, no. but i'll recommend ian huntley to quentin. perhaps he could give him a bath.

physical contact? i am VERY non-tactile, unless there is fancying involved. i especially hate being kissed on the cheek by female friends. why? why?? why do i want your lips on my skin?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:06, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

You shagged Ian Huntley?!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:07, Reply)

i'd have sold that story to the paper about 8 years ago if it were true

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:09, Reply)

No you wouldn't
Luckily, nor would he
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:10, Reply)

He "loves" the Man Utd fans though, doesn't he?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:12, Reply)

Hahahaha
Good point. Think Swipey might be out of his age range though. Unless she stuck wigs on her tits and convinced him she was part of a child smuggling ring
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:15, Reply)

hahahahaha!
Proper out loud officelols there, cheers
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:16, Reply)

I'll take the twins with the big pink noses

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:16, Reply)

can i have an afro on one and heidi plaits on the other?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:16, Reply)

I'd put the afro on the smaller one to even them up
All girls have one boob smaller than the other, right?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:19, Reply)

allegedly
i dispute it, but nearly all my friends would agree. and apart from one, it's always the right one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:20, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1557116
( Kroney, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:21, Reply)

that fucking sucks

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:22, Reply)

You particularly specified badly written.

( Kroney, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:23, Reply)

And boy did you provide it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:25, Reply)

I always deliver.

( Kroney, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:27, Reply)

i hear that sometimes you don't even bother turning up to make the delivery

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:37, Reply)

Depends on how psychotic the recipient is.

( Kroney, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 14:20, Reply)

i also specified "poetry"
that is more like poo-try
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:26, Reply)

All poetry is pooetry
I fucking hate it.
( Kroney, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:27, Reply)

My turn!
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1557131
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:27, Reply)

sorry kroney
but this wins

CLICK
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:32, Reply)

The difference?
Mine had breasts
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:32, Reply)

You knew that in order to appeal to Swipe
You had to make it about her.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:34, Reply)

Yeah, but, right
my poem makes self-mocking reference to the pandering, so it's like totally self-aware and meta, yeah?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:35, Reply)

you're both wrong
it was just better than kroney's.

then again, he did set the bar pretty fucking low!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:36, Reply)

BOLLOCKS
I should have demanded a prize for the winner. Something bra-related.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:37, Reply)

competition might not have closed yet

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:41, Reply)

Can there be a prize for the winner?
Something bra-related?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:41, Reply)

Many years ago I was "on the nest" with a girl from Mauritius
It was most off-putting that she had one massively long hair protuding from each nip
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:22, Reply)

On the nest with a girl from Mauritius
With breasts that seemed quite delicious
On closer inspection
I lost my erection
On discovering her nips were quite pileous
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:30, Reply)

Excellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 14:11, Reply)

is it because your face is like memory foam and the impression of the kiss lasts for ages?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:09, Reply)

yes, i have a head like a mattress
well spotted.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:14, Reply)

just thought it was cause you're fat.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:15, Reply)

ah well
bonus points for you then
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 13:18, Reply)