Do you have a sideline job? Anything for a bit extra cash?
How are you with your finances? Generally in-or-out the overdraft? Got a bunch of debts or investments?

I'm not asking who has more/less cash, it's not a pissing contest, more about in terms of living within you means.

I've started taking on private clients as the ratios of what I spend to what I get each month are a bit out of whack. A couple of clients a month, if I give up one of my weekend days and every other evening, I could probably double my income, and I have people knocking on my door every few weeks asking me to build stuff for them. Towards the end of last year I wasn't accepting privates 'cus of the move, but now I'm settled, it won't be any extra stress.

Do you have a skill (or body part( 'cus I have to mention prostertution, 'cus it's me)) that people would pay for outside of your employment?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:37, 308 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

What I do is extremely niche.
But I have toyed with the idea of doing professional copywriting on the side.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:42, Reply)

I'm half tempted to set up a Quango type thing based on landfill mining
but I'll need to set up a board of directors, find funding, get licences etc.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:44, Reply)

I find it quite hard to balance my incomings and outgoings, generally.
I have a pretty shittily paid job, so that doesn't help. I have been meaning for a while to do something about it, but I'm finding it hard to concentrate at the moment because of personal shit.

The sad thing is, I probably could make quite a good living should I ever dig myself out of the funk I'm in. I'm pretty handy with computing, though my main talents are in networking, installations and home cinema.

Eventually I want to work at setting up AV equipment. There's a lot of really cool stuff you can do if you route it over ethernet. Multiple rooms, modular applications and so on. I could easily apply this to corporate conferencing equipment as well as concert halls and homes and theatres and whatever, really.
( Kroney, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:45, Reply)

You should team up with a good carpenter
and do bespoke home instalations.
/uncle does this
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:47, Reply)

If I knew any I would.
I was thinking about that a while ago as it's obviously the best idea to do it whilst other construction work's going on.
( Kroney, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:48, Reply)

I've meet someone who made a fortune doing that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Helps that a lot of it could be "cash in hand"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:58, Reply)

*calls tax office*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:59, Reply)

BAN THIS MOD!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

I've always said there is a market for people who are good with technology to help people in their home.
I was doing a "geek for hire" thing at one point and if my mind was in the right place, could have made a good £25/hour for as much as I could want to do.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:54, Reply)

I get a small allowance for being a mod on offtopic, but it's supposed to be a secret.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:48, Reply)

hahaha!
£10 a naughty stepping
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:59, Reply)

I haven't got skills that people would pay for INSIDE employment.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:49, Reply)

Funny you should mention Gonz
I've just started doing a bit of mystery shopping. Only a tenner a go but it's about ten minutes' work at the store and a few forms to fill out online. Few extra sherberts each month innit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:50, Reply)

i've done that before.
Best one I had to do was a hotel stay on Valentine's day.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:54, Reply)

Seriously?!
All I've done so far is wander into an Orange store and a Jessops and ask about their wares (fnaarrrrrr)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:56, Reply)

Yeah, I did a lot of phone shops too
and phoning banks.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:58, Reply)

Maybe I'll have to wait for them to build a decent hotel in Norfolk

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Linton Travel Tavern.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:18, Reply)

Where the fuck is there a Jessops still?
I was looking for one last weekend to buy a spare battery for my camera.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:00, Reply)

We've got one in Weston
and I think there's a couple in Bristol.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Actually, I've just looked online and there is even one in Blackpool where I was looking, I just missed it.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:02, Reply)

You might have worked this out from my post up there ^
But we've got one in Norwich.

They did have some serious financial difficulties a couple of years back and shut down a lot of their stores. I know this because I worked for a competitor at the time and we found it fucking hilarious.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:03, Reply)

Yeah, for some reason my brain didn't make the 'Well, I know where he lives so therefore...' connection.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:12, Reply)

Possibly you like me too much to accept that I live here
*blushes*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Newcastle also has one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

So does York.
This is fascinating.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:18, Reply)

That's actually handy to know
In case I don't get round to sorting out a spare battery before my holiday starts off with a night in Newcastle two weeks tomorrow.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:23, Reply)

There's this thing called "the internet", right...

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:24, Reply)

He doesn't want to go near that.
It's full of benders.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:29, Reply)

Yes, yes.
Not a lot of help once you're actually standing in the shopping centre with a camera that doesn't work though.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:31, Reply)

Geek update for gonz
Intel i3 2120 processor
Asus motherboard
8GB 16000mhz ram
2x 500gb Hdd running at 6gb/s
750 watt modular PSU
Asus 6850 1gb graphics card
For £507 with free delivery
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:51, Reply)

You went over budget.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:16, Reply)

I know, I might drop the second Hdd and get a i5 processor instead.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:08, Reply)

I used to draw portraits as a sideline.
Working in an office with 100 people, I got a fair few commissions, and once word spread I'd get friends of colleagues asking me to do stuff for them. I should really get back into it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:54, Reply)

Yes.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:56, Reply)

I noes rite?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:58, Reply)

NOEL!!!!!!!!!!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:59, Reply)

omg he's risen from the dead

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:01, Reply)

I get paid to be a male escort.
At least, I will do, once they've processed my £500 joining fee. They must be reputable though, because they are very thorough, they've been processing me for nearly 8 months now.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:54, Reply)

hopeless
i've earned £9k a year and i've earned my current salary, and i'm still scrabbling around at the end of every month. i swear it spends itself. although i have a LOT more cash since doing this detox, as i can't eat out or drink. so now i have a correspondingly bigger wardrobe, of pleasingly much much smaller clothes. and shoes.

i keep meaning to do that proof reading. i have a totally anal eye for SPAG and i read very quickly, so i could probably make a few extra beans a month doing that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Me too.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:11, Reply)

I used to do some childminding for several friends of mine
I've also accepted commissions for paintings and cakes. It's a shame I barely have time to do that kind of stuff any more, because the money would surely be appreciated...
(berk, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:59, Reply)

nope
i do alright in my finances, as i am a responsible adult and choose to only live within my means. I have money tied up in a Ltd company which was last valued at £1.5m, but I would get less than a 33% share of that

I can do a bit of fixer-uppering, I helped my girlfriend build large bits of her extension last year, so if anyone needs wood flooring putting in, i'm your deelybod
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:00, Reply)

Apart from the DJing, which I'm giving up in a few months anyway
I could always take up teaching Ballroom for a few extra bob, but I lack the self-confidence and the patience to do it well. Plus I've seen how little free time Ms Foxtrot gets as a result of doing so.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Nope
but we get many opportunities for out of hours work/overtime at the moment. Technically I'm well in overdraft as I have a One Account but we are doing really well on it, overpaying the mortgage, etc.

We are shelling out about £5k this month on various home improvements though, so that won't help much. I now owe approx 1/3 of what my house is worth so it isn't too bad at all

Alt:
General IT skills
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:03, Reply)

I'm broke at the moment
but it's a pretty sensible sort of broke. I don't do things I can't afford (with the exception of Iceland which my parents helped me with.)

I have no skills apparently, or so it would seem. I'm good with words though.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)

I do pretty well now that I don't drink or smoke.
I had debts that I cleared in no time flat once I sorted myself out. I'd be verging on 'actually rather well off' if I didn't spunk about £200 on comics a month.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:13, Reply)

Yes, I already wish I'd phrased that differently.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:13, Reply)

haha!
As long as they have plastic wrappers you'll be ok
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:14, Reply)

Razzle, Men Only, Fiesta, Knave, Hot Chocolate and Shemale Next Door aren't comics.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:14, Reply)

Yep, I work for my landlord, sorting out basic computer issues in the houses he has in the area
The pay isn't phenomenal, but it's still nice to get a paycheque in the middle of the month.

I've been shite with finances in the past, but I'm now working my way out of them. After this month, the only place I will owe money to is the bank, and I'm about 4 months away from clearing one overdraft, then I'll start sorting the other. Should be debt free by the end of the year.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

How can you have two overdrafts?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

two bank accounts, simple

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Which is sort of the point really. One shouldn't have two current accounts, Is it illegal? I think it may have been in the 1980s.
It's certainly irresponsible.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:19, Reply)

i don't see how
also, i was calling you simple
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:20, Reply)

You don't think it's silly or irresponsible to have two current accounts?
If you maintain them, fine, but AA here clearly saw the money and ran.

Also, I still find it extremely rich that a man with a spastic's approach to written English can call anyone simple.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:22, Reply)

its been long established here that my english isn't perfect, i'm better at other languages
i manage several accounts at once, you can keep them all balanced without much effort, i hardly think it is irresponsible if debts are being paid off and the person involved lives comfortably
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:27, Reply)

I agree.
I'm going to delete all my posts in this thread, claim ignorance and then get stepped.

Only way to be sure.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:28, Reply)

i think you should definitely kill yourself

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:29, Reply)

Like our glorious leader, CQ.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:39, Reply)

I've gazzed the mods, just to be sure.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:20, Reply)

I knew you were a liar!
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1560395
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:24, Reply)

It's supposed to be a secret
Now don't make me naughty-step you!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:30, Reply)

Extremely irresponsible, I agree.
I was so happy when the bank offered me a way out.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:21, Reply)

I have two.
One pays the bills, the other is used for day to day living.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:22, Reply)

see?
simple
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:27, Reply)

I like to know exactly how much I have to live on and stick with it.
This seemed like the most practical solution.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:32, Reply)

Two bank accounts?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:18, Reply)

By opening two bank accounts?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:19, Reply)

When I was younger and even stupider than I am now, I created a new account, only because it came with an immediate £300 overdraft, no questions asked
I overran this time and again, am now paying it off at £30 per month, will swap it to 60 after this month, be sorted by June/July.

One is current account, one is a reward account.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Actually, I've sold on zazzle and I'm considering picturenation.
Anyone have any experience selling photos at all?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

z +r

/readerswiveslols
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:19, Reply)

readers' grannies, more like.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:20, Reply)

You were seen in Razzle?
My word!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:20, Reply)

I tried to sale on Shutterstock but wasn't good enough =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:51, Reply)

I think some of these poor fuckers might need to take on some extra work.
uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/15032012/58/premier-league-1-5m-year-stars-risk-bankruptcy.html

I can totally understand it, I'd find it difficult to live on £1.5 million a year as well.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Is that before tax?
Don't forget the 50% tax rate. That would only leave them with £750,000 a year.

That's practically road-sweeper's salary. You can't expect a man to get by on just that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:25, Reply)

Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
Silly me.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:27, Reply)

The interest on a lump sum of that amount of money
is around 27 grand a year. The interest alone is livable. Poor, poor footballers :(
( Kroney, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:27, Reply)

Will no-one think of the poor footballers?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:31, Reply)

You'd be lucky to get 2% these days.
Money is, ironicly, worth fuck all.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:07, Reply)

It's easy to sneer, but a young lad, taken out of education at 13 or so, surrounded by similarly naive people, suddenly given more money than they've ever imagined, badly advised and out of a job at 30 with a lifetime ahead of them and no idea how to live it.

I have a little sympathy. Not a huge amount, admittedly, but a little.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:38, Reply)

You're right
It is a lot funnier when you put it like that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:39, Reply)

Hahahhaha.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:40, Reply)

haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:49, Reply)

The armed force used to be similar, I believe.
Provided for and sheltered from the real world, then suddenly civvy street beckons and a lot of them didn't have a clue how to manage finances and day to day living.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Well that, and the thickos that signed up.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:44, Reply)

Well, I wouldn't have gone quite so far as to
compare the pampered, easy living, care free existence they live with that of a footballer...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:57, Reply)

Ha ha.
You know what I mean.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:00, Reply)

I guess for every Gary Linika (working for life) there a thousand eric cantinars (some random player who I don't think is working beyond his footballing job)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:50, Reply)

Good point, but bad example. Cantona is doing very well for himself!

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:56, Reply)

He's an actor now, isn't he?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:57, Reply)

Yes.
And his wife is extremely wealthy. So not really a good illustrative choice.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:58, Reply)

C'mon now, please don't exasorate, the difference between 1.47 and 1.5m is still more than my entire yearly wage.
Poor little lambs.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:49, Reply)

This thread needs more arguments and post deletion.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:49, Reply)

No it doesn't.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:53, Reply)

You ethnic minority bastard!
Don't make me delete this!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:54, Reply)

I'm telling the mods.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:56, Reply)

I do paid gigs with Pooflake every now and then
But not enough to call it a 'sideline'. I used to give private lessons for self-defence but can't be arsed now. I've also been asked to give lessons in basic guitar - tbh there's millions of better guitarists than me who can play and teach better than me.
As to the cash situation, the present salary is keeping me well out of the red and when the bonuses start kicking in there should be a bit left for pension topups!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:57, Reply)

Pension top ups.
You really know how to charm the ladies.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:59, Reply)

Internet user in underdeveloped romantic skills shocker
If the words "chicks dig me" appear in your response I will call you a predictable cunt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:03, Reply)

*shrugs*
But they do.

EDIT

As do gay men. Everyone wants a piece of me.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:04, Reply)

At my age sonny, they're necessary!
Company pension from RR got arse-raped, private one got arse-raped, last employer sent me a notification that I couldn't leave my cash in that one and I had to find another.
I also could just blow it on a mid-life-crisis-type car I suppose.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Are you talking pension unlocking?
Very bad idea. No IFA worth their salt will touch them either and if it's execution only you can't complain.

Plus the companies that do it are based overseas so the FSCS doesn't apply.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Pensions got raped by the companies (a la mirror group)
But without anyone killing themselves unfortunately.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:16, Reply)

So Rolls Royce pillaged their own scheme?
Or did they just close the DB section to new members, then close it completely and do a DB to DC transfer by way of an actuarial valuation of your preserved pension?

Do tell.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:19, Reply)

Expert on pensions right here ^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:21, Reply)

I work in Compliance.
And I specialised in pensions in a previous role.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:23, Reply)

Yup

- mad drumming skills
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:30, Reply)

alright Bobby?
You missed a hell of a day shift.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:31, Reply)

What happened?
Did I miss something?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:32, Reply)

CQ had a breakdown, i don't think its right to draw attention to it

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:33, Reply)

how did i miss this?
what was the gist of what got deleted? was he trying to CONTROL THE INTERNET?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Dozer ran to the mods because CQ called him a Scotch
Or some such
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:37, Reply)

I've never run to the mods about anything.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:39, Reply)

I'm winding you up chuckles
Frankly anyone who runs to the mods over a slur on their nationality has seriously missed the point of /OT
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:45, Reply)

YAH YOU DUTCH CUNT!
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:46, Reply)

YOU HORRIBLE NIGERIAN BASTARD
I'M TELLING THE MODS AND MY MUM AND YOUR MUM
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:48, Reply)

You utter FEB.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:49, Reply)

Keep your tartan acronyms for your own people
You caber-tossing porridge wog
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:52, Reply)

You gender bending night shite shifter.
can we do sexuality based discrimination now?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:54, Reply)

You can
But it's been done. Like, a LOT.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:54, Reply)

Darth you utter bender.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Witty AND original
Oscar Wilde himself would be impressed. And probably a mite offended.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:57, Reply)

I noe babes, i noe.
But Oscar Wilde was closeted for a lot of his life, you know, the wife and kids and that, so I'd just remind him of his hypocrisy and tell him to shit the fuck off.

He'd LOL at that, I just know it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Not that this hasn't been fun*
but I'm off home now. The Ballroom awaits (seriously). This is not a flounce. Or a stepping. No mods were hurt in the typing of this post. I'm just going home. OK?



*It hasn't been fun
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:01, Reply)

See you later babes.
AFTER I'VE GAZZED THE MODS ABOUT YOUR RACISM.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:03, Reply)

POTD

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Sum it up in five words Doze.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:32, Reply)

Quixote threw a bitch strop, stepped.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:33, Reply)

hey man no need for language

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:33, Reply)

CQ? no way, what he flipped? bertdown/? over what? he's cool.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:34, Reply)

He got all pissy and went weirder than usual.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:35, Reply)

did he jump or was he pushed? what sparked it off?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:37, Reply)

He was banging on about me hating him through jealousy.
I made him look up the meaning of coulrophobia, after which point all his posts vanished and he hasn't reappeared.

Looks like a modding.

It was very funny.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:38, Reply)

I'moff to google, be back in 5.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Scary clowns. Clowns are scary.
Don't let the clowns get me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:41, Reply)

or for bonus points, a haiku.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:34, Reply)

Bellend Quixote
deleted threads and
stepped as a result
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:35, Reply)

depending on your pronunciation of quixote... but bravo
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Bad haiku.
I count six syllables in the second line.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:38, Reply)

I don't even know the haiku rules.
You should have asked for a sonnet.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Three lines. seventeen syllables.
Five
Seven
Five
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:40, Reply)

I'll try again at some point in the future.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:42, Reply)

yes Bath is correct
Dozer made a mistake
bath won the contest
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:44, Reply)

Again, not enough syllables.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:54, Reply)

no fucker here can
write a haiku that works
the stupid morons
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:20, Reply)

Oh thank god
I've just been staring at that, waiting for someone with a better knowledge of haikus to wade in
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:39, Reply)

5,7,5 I think but can't remember
what's up hot stuff?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:40, Reply)

Work, dancing, dieting, repeat
How's you my good man?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:44, Reply)

oh you know, saving the universe as commander shepherd and avoiding doing my assignment. Usual. PEW PEW LASERS.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:45, Reply)

You play Shepherd as a girl, don't you
BE HONEST
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:47, Reply)

The woman Shephard is the better option in third person sections.
Plus her voice acting is way superior.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:48, Reply)

no, but apparently that'sthe way to do it. Better voice acting. I might start Mass Effect again as a chick and do the whole trilogy. I play fallout as a chick though.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:48, Reply)

The only time I completed it I played as chick
Started again as a bloke but got distracted by FIFA. Reckon I might start over soon and actually fucking well buy 2 and 3. Do the decisions you make in 2 impact the gameplay in 3?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:51, Reply)

yeah, and it's worth getting the goty edition for all the dlc. 2 is ruddy brilliant and I dont think 3 would work half as well if you had not played 2.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:52, Reply)

I'll follow your recommendation, cheers
Have no intention of skipping 2, I hear it's amazing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:55, Reply)

It's the game I would use to show gamingophobes how good some games can be. Bloody epic in every sense of the word.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:57, Reply)

I use Pac-man CE for that.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:57, Reply)

ce?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Championship Edition.
It's on XBLA.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:00, Reply)

The decisions in 2 do affect 3, yes. But the face importing is borked.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:52, Reply)

OR Save some pennies if you're not worried about the dlc I can lend you my copy.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:53, Reply)

And
The female shepard has a great arse.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 16:55, Reply)

are you talking about a computer game character?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:09, Reply)

Yes quinten, yes I am.
Just like it's okay to say that Jessica Rabbit is hot.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:13, Reply)

i wish comrade quixote were still here :'(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:15, Reply)

I miss his pube face :(

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:16, Reply)

4 EVA etc.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:19, Reply)

IN R HARTS!!!!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:24, Reply)

i don't think he ever told me he was wanking over drawings on computers or otherwise
this is probably the worst day ever
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:20, Reply)

I don't wank over them Quints.
But an animated nice arse is a nice arse.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:24, Reply)

except they don't exist and its not actually an arse
i don't mind that your into anime porn plums, i just don't want to hear about it
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:27, Reply)

I know it's not an arse, but let's not get into the postmodern semantics of if an arse on a computer screen is still an arse.
It's a picture of an arse. Like when I knock one out to Harley Davis, it's not really her, it's just a collection of pixels that look like her.

Maybe you should stick to posting dyslexic fantasies about the girls in your office. I would say it's what you're good at, but I would only mean it's your normal schtick.

Hope this helps.

xxx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:32, Reply)

You wank over Motorcycles too? You sick fuck.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:39, Reply)

No Scarpe.
Harley Davis. She is now retired.

I suggest you google her quick smart.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 17:39, Reply)

omg i can't believe your trying to bully me into having a nervous breakdown just like you did to CQ

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 18:12, Reply)