Off Topic
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest,
837,
836,
835,
834,
833, ...
1
« Go Back |
See The Full Thread
So no one can date anyone unless they share the exact same birthday.
Or else there was a time when one half of the couple was legal and the other wasn't.
(
PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:18,
2 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
exactly
EDIT actually age gaps of up to 10 years are probably ok, but anything more than that is creepy and reeks of daddy issues/midlife crisis-perviness
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:19,
Reply)
I think the rule is half your own age plus seven years
Anything lower than that is creepy. Which means Monty is still resident in wrongsville
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:31,
Reply)
This is how I justified my "nonce" allegation.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:34,
Reply)
IIRC, that puts her as bang on in the rule.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:34,
Reply)
don't defend him you dead-mummed nonce-enabler
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:36,
Reply)
If my sums are right
Monty is 37 - let's call it 38 because a) it's easier to divide and b) he nearly is - so his minimum age for a girlfriend is (38/2=19+7=) 26. If Lusty is 13 years his junior as he claims, she's 24
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:36,
Reply)
You're slightly off, he's 38
However, your sums are correct, oops.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:38,
Reply)
Monty is 38 and I am 26.
Hope this helps.
(
wanderlust, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:38,
Reply)
nonce fodder!
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:38,
Reply)
Yes.
(
wanderlust, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:41,
Reply)
Morning Lusty
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:38,
Reply)
Just show us on the teddy bear where he hurt you
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:40,
Reply)
On the one hand, it's officially Not Creepy, which is disappointing
On the other, your boyfriend doesn't know how old you are. Dump him and populate the internet with lolarious tales of his sexual inadequacy.
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:41,
Reply)
Not really, if Monty is 39 before Lusty is 27, there will be a 13 year age difference.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:43,
Reply)
You know what
We're using maths to prove that Monty is a filthy cradlesnatcher, when in fact he's doing what we all hope we'll be able to when we near 40. He's laughing his arse off at us. LAUGHING
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:44,
Reply)
You are correct
Then again, I'd rather like an awesome girlfriend sooner than 40.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:45,
Reply)
I think you're allowed to have awesome girlfriends your own age between now and then
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:47,
Reply)
True, I just don't want one at the minute, Saturday reinforced that for me.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:47,
Reply)
Which Saturday?
I like Mollie
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:51,
Reply)
Party at mine, some drama, etc
Shall GAZ you
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:56,
Reply)
There is 12 and a half years between us.
I was only 26 last week and am bored with this conversation now, so I'm off to walk in the sunshine. Laters.
(
wanderlust, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:44,
Reply)
FACTS HAVE NO PLACE ON B3TA
/out of arguments
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:46,
Reply)
so do you think your with monty because your daddy didn't hug you enough
or because he hugged you 'too much', if you know what i mean?
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:58,
Reply)
....whereas
having a girlfriend be so bored with you sexually that she has to pretend you're someone else in order to enjoy it reeks of crippling inadequacy. And chronic pikiness.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:35,
Reply)
i refuse to be lectured on "pikiness" by a bankrupt paedophile
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:36,
Reply)
Shut up, pikey.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:39,
Reply)
define pikey please, i don't know what it means?
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:40,
Reply)
You.
You and your grotty ilk.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:41,
Reply)
waht is an ilk? is that like a deer?
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:51,
Reply)
Ent you got your own caravan
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:40,
Reply)
PINK COWBOY HAT.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:40,
Reply)
paedo, bankrupt, drugs, etc
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:41,
Reply)
I'm actually bored with this.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:42,
Reply)
I'm bored of the gay meme old boy, but them's the breaks
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:43,
Reply)
It's not in as much use as it used to be.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:44,
Reply)
You mean you're not using it as much as you did
Admittedly it has become a "background meme" now
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:51,
Reply)
As am I with the height / Zammo one.
I expect it to last for quite some time yet unfortunately.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:45,
Reply)
However much you say "no" to it
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:46,
Reply)
* yawns *
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:47,
Reply)
maybe some illegal substances would add an edge, you paedo?
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:50,
Reply)
Maybe I'd find it more interesting if you could dress up as a soldier for me.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:56,
Reply)
i bet you'd like that, wouldn't you
you sick paedo
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:58,
Reply)
No, I wouldn't.
I'm middle class, you see.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:01,
Reply)
middle class paedophiles are probably the worst
they could be your teacher, your milkman or the guy who runs your local corner shop
its really bad
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:02,
Reply)
Shows what you know about being middle class.
Milkmen and independent retailers are working class.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:08,
Reply)
oh, burned
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:09,
Reply)
To the likes of Quinten and Dawn, milkmen are high aristocrats.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:09,
Reply)
acristocrats?
fucks sake monty, if your gonna spend your whole life pointing out other people's flaws while shagging kids, being bankrupt and hoovering up loads of drugs, at least learn your own language right
EDIT yeah, nice edit there you failed druggo
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:10,
Reply)
You seem to be getting a bit upset, you embarrassing serf.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:15,
Reply)
YERS I AM, I REFUSE TO BE LECTURED BY YOU YOU COMPLETE FUCKING FAILURE
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:16,
Reply)
Oooh, caps! SRS BZNZ.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:17,
Reply)
oh go and visit your abandoned daughter, you drugs failure
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:19,
Reply)
You're not coming across very well here.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:23,
Reply)
and you are? you do nothing but criticise and think you're immune from it
when you are without a dount the biggest sad case here, fuck off out of my face you utter dick
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:25,
Reply)
Algae is a peer of the realm by comparison to Quinten
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:11,
Reply)
Krill is the ninth Earl of Gloucester, when placed next to Quinten.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:14,
Reply)
and monty boyce is a paedo prick
who can't get a woman his own age because he's ruined his life with drugs and poor finances, so he's had to delve into the kiddie pool to find someone with enough daddy issue damage to not run a mile
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:16,
Reply)
I imagine
you'll be rounding up some of the other oafs from your estate to 'do me over' because you think I looked at Dawn in an inappropriate manner in the queue in Nando's on the weekend. It wasn't me, Quints. Not being a grotty commoner, I'd never go in there.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:19,
Reply)
fuck off druggo
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:20,
Reply)
Positively Wildean.
Splendid work. I think it might work better in caps, though. Might be a little stronger.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:22,
Reply)
SERIOUSLY WHERE DO YOU GET OFF TRYING TO TALK DOWN TO ANYONE???
YOU ARE A PRICK, YOU ARE A FAILURE AT EVERYTHING IN LIFE, YOU ARE A DRUG ADDICTED NOCNE AND THIS MESSAGEBOARD IS ALL YOU HAVE, YUO BANKRUPT PRICK
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:23,
Reply)
^ top internet rage here ^
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:25,
Reply)
cheers, doin my bit
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:26,
Reply)
Bertdown will commence in
FIVE
FOUR
THREE
TWO
ONE.....
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:27,
Reply)
sorry, so what? you bully people into snapping at you for fun?
you keep on pressing buttons until they have a go? you poke and poke with the same old shit every single day and then when they reply you think you've won?
You're a total cunt and no mistake
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:31,
Reply)
What, like posting 'TICK' repeatedly?
That sort of thing?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 13:04,
Reply)
By 'in there' I trust you mean Dawn and Nando's
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:21,
Reply)
yeah well done for being the twattish little kid who hides behind the bully going
'yeeeaaaah'
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:21,
Reply)
I imagine for you it's easy to look down on people, from your council flat on the 15th floor of the tower block you live in on a 'problem estate'.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:23,
Reply)
penthouse, innit?
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:23,
Reply)
'Readers' Wives', more like.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:24,
Reply)
like you can even afford that you prick
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:26,
Reply)
At least my girlfriend doesn't regularly appear in it.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:27,
Reply)
because she's too fucking ugly, you prick
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:27,
Reply)
Typical council attitude.
'Yeah my missus could be in 'Readers' Wives' no problem mate'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 13:05,
Reply)
I'm fairly sure
Battered thinks you are a cretin as a result of your posts, not mine.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:24,
Reply)
fuck off druggie prick, seriously, fuck right off
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:25,
Reply)
*seriously fucks right off*
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:26,
Reply)
shut up and smoke a doobie you utter waste
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:29,
Reply)
I suggest you take a breather for a couple of minutes.
Maybe have a cup of herbal tea or something?
I'd hate it if you had an aneurysm, and Dawn would be left at the mercy of all the other plumbers and brickies on your local. Think of Dawn, Quinten, and calm down.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:33,
Reply)
shut the fuck up you drugs bankrupt prick
and fuck off while you're at it
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:34,
Reply)
Why do you think Monty's been spending so much time with Stunned?
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:21,
Reply)
Because he gets hammered and leaves his wallet lying around?
(
PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:23,
Reply)
Well, yes, that is basically Monty's perfect man
If rich and generous isn't available, rich and absent-minded is the next best thing
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:25,
Reply)
In that case, I'm surprised he hasn't gone for Swipey
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:27,
Reply)
she's too old for him
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:27,
Reply)
old female
Oh yeah, I went there. Me.
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:30,
Reply)
You went female?
No-one is surprised Darth. No-one at all.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:33,
Reply)
Don't get your hopes up
I'm still out of your league
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:33,
Reply)
I know that
Fucks sake, you're a Norwich lass. The only way I'd get to fuck you is if we were married, or related.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:35,
Reply)
I'm not though am I
I'm a Nottingham lass. This means I have to fight off three other girls for every man, and that I have a gun.
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:42,
Reply)
And you're black.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:43,
Reply)
Ah, now, this is where Norwich is relevant
If I were black I'd have been hounded out of town by now. Pitchforks and flaming torches distinctly possible.
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:45,
Reply)
If you were an actual darkie, you'd have already stolen them.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:46,
Reply)
What would I do with fire?
Apart from wonder what it was
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:47,
Reply)
Set fire to things, like in the riots
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:49,
Reply)
you mean and not or
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:46,
Reply)
Whilst this sentence makes sense, it just looks wrong.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:47,
Reply)
A bit like Stewart Lee
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 11:50,
Reply)
Soz
I couldn't be arsed to fiddle around with punctuation on my phone.
You mean "and", not "or".
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 12:25,
Reply)
« Go Back |
See The Full Thread
Pages: Latest,
837,
836,
835,
834,
833, ...
1