Shan't
Someone cheer me up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:10, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

www.flickr.com/photos/mattisj/5861153800/
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:11, Reply)

I assume that's some sort of naked man?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:12, Reply)

nope
I forgot those even existed
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:14, Reply)

fucking OWL.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:13, Reply)

Good work
Cheers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:14, Reply)

it looks like the bird that sits on tge old mans head in labyinth.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)

Have you watched the Blood and chrome trailer yet?
If not do it now.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:13, Reply)

Every time I get a link it seems to have been taken down
Although that would definitely work
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:13, Reply)

Oh it looks like it wasn't an official trailer but a showreel and the music hadn't been cleared for use.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:19, Reply)

That's basically cockteasing to geeks with taste everywhere

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:22, Reply)

the last two shit-dullard questions are hardly likely to do that
what happened with the cricket?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:17, Reply)

Finished 154/1
A reassuring demonstration that England's batsmen know which end to hold.

I can't even be bothered to make a cock joke. Fucking hell.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:18, Reply)

so it was a draw overall?
i am being taken to see cricket soon. considering i had to ask which sport 20/20 meant, i have some serious brushing up to do. some yorkshirewoman i am.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:20, Reply)

No, that's only the end of the second day. Of five.
If you ever ask "So who's winning?" in relation to cricket you will instantly reveal yourself to be unknowing in such things.

And T20 isn't a sport at all, any more than Rounders is
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:22, Reply)

correct cricket answer
Unless a game of cricket has breaks for the players to sup a light lunch it isnt cricket
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:56, Reply)

God no
it's only day two. If we don't fuck up for the next 3 days we might win this and draw the series overall but retain our world #1 status. Simple, yes? ;)

Which 20/20 game? It's a good crack. I've got tickets for the Lords Test on 20th May I think.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:22, Reply)

you two are both too technical for me
i thought i was good because i understand the offside rule. but... 5 days? really? people sit and watch that for FIVE DAYS?

blimey.

i had to turn down the 20/20, would have been at middlesex though. one of the barristers i instruct takes a party there every year. are you coming to london for beers afterwards???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Basically;
Applaud when a batsman goes out to the crease. Applaud when a four or six is scored (that's when the ball crosses the rope), even if it's not your team who've scored it, just polite. Applaud when a wicket is taken (ditto). Do NOT applaud a batsman who has just got out for a duck, you'll look sarcastic.

And lastly, don't chat up any cricketers, they're gentlemen who'll treat you with respect and won't spitroast you in a Travelodge, so are not really your type.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Mind you, Steve Davies is a little more Martha than Arthur.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:33, Reply)

I've often thought so
and we can smell our own
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Well, that and he very openly came out last year
but stick to your smell sense if it's working for you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

I wasn't aware of that, embarrassingly
My gaydar is borderline flawless, it must be said
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:40, Reply)

Freddie Flintoff is a gentleman, is he?
I know gentlemen, *I'm* a gentleman. Freddie Flintoff is not.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:37, Reply)

Of course he is. He always lights a lady's farts for her.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

It's what's called a generalisation, dear
A sweeping statement, if you will. Possibly a reverse sweeping statement, in this context
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

more of a Dilstatement
I'll wager.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

That's a beautifully executed cover drive, Aggers

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

I was on thin ice with that one
I reckon there are maybe two people here that would have got it, so thanks for that..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)

In the mood I'm in today
I'm just grateful you're not calling me a bender or a cunt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)

I wish I did. I have a feeling that I'm missing out.

( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)

you really aren't
but I can explain if you really want
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)

I, for one, am thorougly enjoying all this cricket talk
thoroughly enjoying seriously considering deleting my account and killing myself, thanks to
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)

I'm sure no-one here wants that, please don't
/mockers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)

More cricket talk required ASAP

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)

it's about a billion times more interesting than homebrew chat

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:54, Reply)

I at least drink beer and can therefore relate to something in that
Cricket offers me nothing.
*racks brain*
Er... I like Soul Limbo by Booker T and the MGs.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)

nor me
but i am willing to learn.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)

it was a bit of a Gambhle

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 16:02, Reply)

you?
hahahahaha

haaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahhaa.

ha.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

How. Rude.
I am the perfect gentleman, I'll have you know.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

you forget i have MET YOU

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

I get this a lot (every time)
and it never ceases to baffle me.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

so basically clap when everyone else claps
and get drunk?

i asked the lovely rakky why she likes cricket so much and she said: hot men and booze all day? what's not to like. good point.

eeeeeow, cheap-ass travelodge sex. worst of ALL teh sex.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

Yes, basically, that'll do it
If it's a one-dayer you'll probably be able to get away with the odd raucous yell as the day wears on too
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

are you on about the cricket
or the pikey travelodge?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)

Hey swipe, you know I told you to fuck off commenting about me
because it made you look like a pathetic mental bitch?
You're doing it again
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Darth started it
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1579565
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Yes, because Chompy is definitely the progenitor of Travelodge sex

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)

I haven't had to specifically tell Darth to leave me alone like a child.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)

why should a reference to being shitty and cheap-ass
make you think it was a reference to you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)

oh yeah
because you're shit and cheapass.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)

You're just making yourself look like a spastic
go away
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:20, Reply)

too far
and you know it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:32, Reply)

12 months of ignoring you didn't work
grow up.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:33, Reply)

let's try another 12.
YEARS.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Ah, Middlesex play their 20/20 at Staines or at Lords I think.
I dunno the plan yet. Depends on when we come down and what Mrs B is up to.

Most people don't actually watch for the 5 days. It's more about the event and the whole atmosphere, a la Ascot or similar
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:32, Reply)

i understand the crowd are slightly more civilised than football fans

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

So is the Arab Spring

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)

well, yes.
I'll be in the member's pavillion at Lords so jacket and tie minimum I think, I'll need to check.

The plebs can wear what they like but it's pretty well behaved.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

but they let you in?
hmmm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

Of course.
I've the very model of refined-yet-rakish.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)

I think that's Kate Moss
Oh you didn't mean "looks like a rake" did you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)

Kate Moss is about as refined as sugar cane.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)

Yeah I regretted that as soon as I posted it
but I genuinely cannot think of any other models who look like rakes. I'm aware that they exist but I don't know their names. I realise that this utterly buggers my meme and the stereotypes required to perpetuate it and would like to apologise to the board.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)

calista flockhart

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:00, Reply)

Not a model
Not especially refined either. American innit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)

She's a Ford Model

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)

Calista Flockhart is so ugly she makes bats crash.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)

god, i'd have killed to look like her at one point
my bf at uni nearly creamed his crotch every time she came on the screen
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)

then he was gay or blind, sweetie.
For a start it looks like she's got another whole forehead on top of her normal one. that, or someone shrank all her features but left her head the same size.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)

or had a fetish for anorexic chicks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:06, Reply)

If he's going for anorexic chicks he could at least pick an attractive one.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)

like who?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:08, Reply)

John Prescott

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:09, Reply)

hubba hubba.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:17, Reply)

I dunno, I don't dig thin girls
but Calista Flockhart particularly looks like she's been set on fire and put out with the ugly bat. Errm, I dunno, Keira Knightly?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:17, Reply)

We didn't collapse
and we suddenly appear to have realised part-time sub-continent off spin isn't actually fucking kryptonite.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:20, Reply)

You know, I understand every single word and compound in this sentence.
The meaning taken as a whole, however, completely escapes me.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Then, sir, my work here is done.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)

I'm with you Badger

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)

You are not a true Surreyman
if you don't understand cricket. Even I understood that.
(berk, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:25, Reply)