What are the healthiest and unhealthiest activities that you regularly partake in?
For me, the unhealthiest is either smoking or lapping at your mother's prolapsed vagina. I don't have a particularly healthy activity.

Alt: what old technology do you still use? VHS? Fax machines? Psion organiser? That old Realflesh™ pumping pussy you bought in Ann Summers in the 1998 January sale?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:04, 129 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Erm I don't really partake in any unhealthy activities.
I use dvd's, cd's, pen and paper, and a leatherbound diary.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:10, Reply)

*rubs thighs*
Leatherbound dairy you say?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:09, Reply)

No, leatherbound DIARY, numbnuts.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:25, Reply)

THAT@S THE JOKE

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Unhealthiest is probably drinking for me, although my diet has also been pretty crap recently
Changing that though, making BBQ pork in a couple of days time, that's rather good.

Alt: We still have a fax machine in the office, and still use 3.5" disks, as some of our machines don't have network cards, due to being too old.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:26, Reply)

Like Poppet here, I never partake in unhealthy actvities.
I saw a dead dog in the canal this morning. That was a bit unpleasant. It occurred to me that I had no idea what to do about it. I certainly wasn't going to fish it out and the LAZY PARASITES at the council certainly wouldn't be around to answer a phone at 7am, so I just walked on. I hope it's not still there tomorrow.

Alt: my turntables. I have a t shirt that I've had since 1990, but even I wouldn't regard that as technology.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:33, Reply)

You talk some awful shit mr boyce. :P

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:35, Reply)

This is not news to anyone.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:37, Reply)

Bollocks to you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:41, Reply)

You're surely not going to walk away from free meat, are you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:47, Reply)

I'd rather eat raw 'canal dog' than fucking tofu, sunshine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:47, Reply)

Haha
you justify it to yourself whatever way you can.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:49, Reply)

Listen pal
I've managed to justify my hammer attacks (in my defence some of them could be prostitutes) I can certainly work my way around eating a dead dog.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:53, Reply)

There was a dead pidgion that looked like someone shot it with a BB Gun down the road.
It was there for about 3 days, just laying there, being all like a dead pigion, until yesterday when I walked past it and it wasn't there anymore. I don't know what happened to it, but I reckon that hole might have been stigmata.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:13, Reply)

There was a pheasant in a tree dead for about 3 weeks where I take the dog for a walk
I think the foxes finally managed the climb for it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:15, Reply)

I reckon my diet has always been very healthy,
but I counter this by rarely exercising. This is more unhealthy inactivity, though.
Up until November I was a massive stoner, which despite me kidding myself that it is not as bad as smoking cigarettes, apparently is bad for you.

Alt: I still use a record player, I have a valve amplifier for my guitar and, even older technology than the pumping pussy, I still use my hands.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:45, Reply)

You have the diet of a gay rabbit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:50, Reply)

I do have to be wary about mixing my toasties.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:52, Reply)

Departez l'internette.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:53, Reply)

Kill yourself.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:53, Reply)

I eat far too much chocolate
for technology, it'd probably have to be that I cycle everywhere. But equally, that counts as healthy, so...
(berk, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:48, Reply)

It wasn't very healthy for Mary Hansen from Stereolab.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:50, Reply)

Cyclists are very rarely killed in Oxford
there's so fucking many of us that everyone has to drive really carefully.
(berk, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Shame.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Yeah great thread, Nick Nack.
Can no one advise what the correct protocol for 'dead dog in canal at 7am' is? I am a little bothered about this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Ask Jeff, but be deliberately vague when it comes to the location of said dog.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:08, Reply)

Why do you care? It's not your dog. The canal rats will get it soon enough.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:09, Reply)

I don't want to have to look at it tomorrow.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:25, Reply)

Then look the other way.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Any nearby korean restaurants?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Yes. It's a ruff area.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:43, Reply)

A little bothered is better than being a lot bothered
but not as good as my level of botheration which is nil.

Happy to help.
( Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:44, Reply)

Smoking, probably.
Alt: my mobile phone has buttons rather than touchscreen technology. How fucking retro is that?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:07, Reply)

A weeks all inclusive holiday with free beer, spirits and meat
*pats expanding stomach*

Alt:
A 9 year old PC at home. I need a new one
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Aren't policemen getting younger these days!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:19, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1639316
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:20, Reply)

Hahaha fucking hell Ronnie Barker.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:25, Reply)

Up 'till 2 years ago, I used some software from '95, 'cus it had all my passwords'n'shit in it.
I think the most unhealthy thing I do is turn up at rap battles and challange everyone. All my raps start off with "THATS MY GURL DAWG, GET OFF MY GURL DAWG ! I'LL SEE YOU AT THE RAP OLYMPICS", I then always hold my mic out at arms length and drop it claiming how I'm retiring out the game.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:15, Reply)

In other news, work have just told me I should have a second personal assistant.
I really don't need one, the one I have is kept very busy, but I really don't think I could use a second one, I am not that important.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:19, Reply)

It's just a polite way of telling you they think you are hopelessly disorganised.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:29, Reply)

It's an expensive way of telling me that. We pay PA's about £30k a year.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Or "special needs"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:34, Reply)

False modesty at its best.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:33, Reply)

You should know by now that I don't 'do' modesty.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:37, Reply)

I heard that you can blow your own trumpet.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:41, Reply)

Only since I had a vertebrae removed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:42, Reply)

i think they meant to say 'carer'

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:42, Reply)

alright everyone?
quinten's here
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Welcome back CQ.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:34, Reply)

I have missed something here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Quinten is CQ.
CQ has flounced btw.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:36, Reply)

That is an insult to Quinten.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:49, Reply)

There have apparently been accusations, counter accusations, flounces and deletions in the previous week.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:36, Reply)

hi tangles, i'm not and have never been CQ
CQ is dull for a start, dull and needy and... oh wait
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:37, Reply)

Bullshit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:37, Reply)

There is no fucking way CQ is Quinten, not in a million years.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:50, Reply)

More importantly, who gives a shit?

( Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:50, Reply)

*nose/pointy gesture*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:53, Reply)

*index finger/side of head tappy gesture*

( Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Ah, a variant of the 'cuckoo hand motion'.
Like it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:59, Reply)

cos thats got nothing to do with cuckoos

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:02, Reply)

The cuckoos a like giant banjoleles in the hands of miniature Formbys.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:04, Reply)

your not making any sense YOU FOOL

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:08, Reply)

he knows, he's just doing his
'quinten is 'X' thing to try and wind me up, he's really good at it
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

I don't think you are CQ

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:38, Reply)

well i am so there

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Billion of someone else's quids says he's not.
How anyone could even think it is extremely odd to me. For a start, Quinten's typos are an affectation, CQ is borderline illiterate, worse than Bobby.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

he's right, you know
i fake my poor spelling to be popular like gonz :(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:56, Reply)

HI BATTERED DID YOU HAVE A NICE BIRTHDAY

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:35, Reply)

Yes I did thank you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:36, Reply)

that's a shame, i was hoping you'd choke to death on a party ring
prick
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:36, Reply)

Shut up.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:37, Reply)

YES OK I WILL THEN BECAUSE I'M SCARED OF THE SHORT ANGRY INTERNET MAN

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:39, Reply)

Good.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:43, Reply)

You should get a bowler hat that you can throw at people

( Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Wrong. Bond. Villian.
He should get a job as a butler on a Thai island, working for an international assassin with three nipples.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Yeah, you're right.
Oddjob was a giant.
( Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:56, Reply)

The Man With The Golden Pun

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Looks as though you had a lucky escape
www.independent.co.uk/news/science/celebrate-your-big-day-as-if-its-your-last-it-may-well-be-7834229.html
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:38, Reply)

I did, as I didn't read the independent.
I prefer The Guardian.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Isn't The Guardian a little left wing for you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:41, Reply)

That's why I like it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:42, Reply)

ah-ha, ah-ha

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Morning Q

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:34, Reply)

morning S

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:35, Reply)

HI QUINTERS.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:52, Reply)

hello monty
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:55, Reply)

I have a calculator watch.
From about 20 years ags. And a box full of VHS library cases that I've been trying to get rid of via Freecycle for ages. If you'd like them, and want to save the planet, then please join Freecycle. If not, then delete this.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:40, Reply)

MORNING BITCHES
Probably booze, I guess.

Alt: Up until quite recently I had a turntable that my grandfather built. I need to replace that. I kind of have a thing for old technology, cars, hi fi gear and so on. I like the mechanical solutions they came up with before silicon came along. Also old books.
( Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Yeah, I agree re books. I can't see myself ever getting a KIndle.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:45, Reply)

I can see their uses. Reading whilst travelling etc
especially since I won't buy paperbacks. But they won't replace books, they're a complimentary technology.
( Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:46, Reply)

They tell you that you're looking good as you read?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Baby, I always look good.
I don't need no magic book to tell me I'm fine.
( Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

good French
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:54, Reply)

I don't shave my armpits, neither.

( Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Natural sunburn protection for those tricky military campaigns, right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:59, Reply)

hahahahahahahahahahaha!
POTD
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:00, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1639316
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

He reads The Mirror on it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:56, Reply)

I cut my lines on mine.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Just been away and can see the benefit with all the baggage allowances
Still prefer a book though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:46, Reply)

^ This
My wife usually packs an extra bag for all the books. This time it was all on her Kindle.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:48, Reply)

We had to pack kid's toys so that meant less book space
I'm actually reading my wife's uncles book at the moment. Not too bad
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Your wife's uncle wrote 'Are you there God? It's me, Margaret' ?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

One he wrote?
Or he owned? What is it?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:52, Reply)

It is his 1st novel
Neil Howarth. I can't remember the title as I've stupidly left it at home today
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:55, Reply)

The Doomsday Legacy?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:01, Reply)

That's the one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Not as good as Apeloverage's epic.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:04, Reply)

I don't think anything comes close, to be honest

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:07, Reply)

If he came close to me I'd repeatedly punch him in the face.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Was he short with you?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:11, Reply)

No, but I suspect he is your uncle.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:13, Reply)

I promise he is not

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:14, Reply)

It's called
'My Niece Married a Spastic', it's his autobiography. Harrowing stuff.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Harrow to you too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:58, Reply)

^ the man with the copper pun

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:00, Reply)

eythangyew

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:01, Reply)

In other news
www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-18404621

Looks like we will all have to change usernames to our real names
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Hahaha!
Pretty soon I'll be the only b3tan with a username. Cos I'm nicer than the rest of you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Get tae fack
I'm nice to everyone
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:14, Reply)

That's Rory fucked, then.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Morning bastards
How do? I've got two old VHS players and a bunch of videos I'm probably never going to watch again, but can't bring myself to chuck because let's be honest, I won't be able to get them back will I.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:12, Reply)

Alright Cumshot?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:13, Reply)

I've had better

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:14, Reply)

Morning flangemonkey

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:19, Reply)

THAT'S IT REAL NAMES NOW
I AM SUEING
( Kroney, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:20, Reply)

It's a fair cop
My real name is - are you writing this down? - James "Jamie" Oliver. I suggest you prosecute the fuck out of me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)