Losing our Marbles?
I see that celebrity bumlord Stephen Fry has won a debate in which he argued that the Elgin Marbles be returned to Greece. What is your view on this – if indeed you even have one, you uncultured baboon?

There are several reasons why the Grecoes can get fucked, in my super-expert opinion. My principal argument is that the Parthenon statuary is, in essence, no different from any of the other international art treasures to be found in the world’s museums and, were we to send them back there would be equal justification for other countries - Egypt, particularly - to empty the world’s museums immediately. It’s too messy and too complicated. The ‘oh but they are special to the Greek people’ argument is bollocks: they shelled the Acropolis themselves when it was under Turkish occupation, and have let smog ruin it since then. Yes they’ve got no money, but that is in itself my second argument for not giving the marbles back: they might well not be cared for as well as we have been and will continue to do.

Finally, I suspect part of his debating success is that he is Stephen ‘national treasure’ Fry – he could probably have entered the debate arguing for them to be detonated, and still won it. The bent cunt.

I am right – I know better than you because I got a second class classics degree from a frankly terrible ex-polytechnic about twenty years ago, AND I‘ve got GCSEs and A Levels in it too so FUCK YOU, YEAH?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:20, 46 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

A reasoned argument
Fuck them - we have them and we'll fight you for them
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:21, Reply)

Also:
Building a fucking museum with the space in for them isn't a valid reason. I have space in my garage for $452million of stolen Nazi gold but I'm not likely to get that, am I?

Am I?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:24, Reply)

No.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:26, Reply)

fuck
*stops gassing jews*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Oh in that case I meant yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:28, Reply)

Showers this way folks

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

finders keepers losers weepers.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:23, Reply)

Losers Greekers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:23, Reply)

I feel I would be able to understand this debate more easily if things could be simplified with some portmanteau words.
I suggest Elgles, Stepry and uncoon.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:26, Reply)

I like the last one.
PS you are a 'fidiot'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Afternoon Monce

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:29, Reply)

I'm also goiome

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Is that not Battered?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

He's an 'angridget'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:31, Reply)

lols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:33, Reply)

Flidiot is surely best of all the portmanteaus

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:54, Reply)

Aren't they all small towns in the Highlands though?
Monty is Mayor of uncoon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Sir! Sir! Sporto's been drinking, sir.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:29, Reply)

Oh good-oh.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:29, Reply)

\o/
I blame DG and Barry
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Good chaps all.
Wish I could have joined you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:31, Reply)

I'm a bad influence, me.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:47, Reply)

ad influence ender
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Your mum is a small town in the Highlands.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:29, Reply)

She's certainly Dun Dee

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

She's dun dee entire population of Newcastle.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

I'm not judging her though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

7/10

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Thanks Darth.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:31, Reply)

+for that Cleveland Steamer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:31, Reply)

and Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Titch.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:31, Reply)

No Micks

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:32, Reply)

Dogs?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:32, Reply)

Hahaha
I have clicked that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:32, Reply)

She's gotta do what she's Xanadu

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:34, Reply)

Lucky Battered.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:32, Reply)

Upper second or lower second?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:34, Reply)

I'm pretty sure you mean Upper second or Downer second.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:37, Reply)

Lower, of course.
My choice of colleges was made entirely on the 'I want to go out smashing it' options of the locality. I lived on tequila and hot knives, when not on the old Class As. It is a miracle that I could even find the college on many days. Given my time again I would actually do some work, but I was young, extremely good looking and a massive tit and these factors conspired to sabotage my chances of a decent grade. Plus I was convinced I knew more than my lecturers, and in some cases I still think this. Not a good situation.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:40, Reply)

tl:dr I fucked it by being a prick

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:43, Reply)

I shall henceforth adress you as Desmond.
I just missed a first and enjoyed a similarly Rock n Roll lifestyle, as well as being exceptionally good looking, skating lots and being a massive bellend.

Ditto the lecturers thing; I was certainly head and shoulders above most of my fellow students.

We are remarkably similar.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:47, Reply)

I'm like an adult-sized version of you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:53, Reply)

you're exactly like a horrendously bent version of me.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:55, Reply)

Greece's Mum should just march over and demand them back.
That's what my friend's Mum did when he lost all his marbles to the bigger boys at school.

Assuming Greece can cope with 6 months of being bullied afterwards, I don't see the problem.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Have you seen the uniforms of their National Guard?
They're no strangers to bullying I would imagine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:54, Reply)

Even the pope's minders beat them up.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:57, Reply)

One-handed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Whilst hanging on to choirboys' cocks.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:00, Reply)

YEAHHH.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:03, Reply)

I think the police in Holland have 'polite' written on their hats.
Which is probably why it was so easy to push a van in the canal.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:10, Reply)

I belive you are right on all counts about the marbles.
If we sent them back to Greece, they would probably end up in a skip, or sold to some ruski with loads of cash. Also, I like the way the British museum doesn't call them the Elgin Marbles.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:54, Reply)

They'd only smash them on the floor after a few retsinas.
You've seen how they treat their crockery, and the silly cunts can't even afford to replace them. The dozy spanners.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:58, Reply)

I think I've lost my marbles.
I walked home sideways. I'm done.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:58, Reply)

Night night!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 16:59, Reply)

I can still taste pizza.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:02, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:03, Reply)

The guy who won (30 slices) hasn't said a word since yesterday.
He's sitting next to me in a dressing gown and sweating with his head in his hands.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:07, Reply)

That sounds like a worthwhile 'victory' to me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:09, Reply)

He's just thrown up in the bathroom.
I'm now lying down in the kitchen. It's like a really shit game of Cleudo in this house at the moment.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:29, Reply)

'Spewdo'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:31, Reply)

It all depends who won the game, doesn't it?
I didn't play marbles as a kid, but I think that's how I remembered it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:09, Reply)

Well quite clearly Lord Elgin did.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:09, Reply)

Innocent quote from a student today
"I'm sure someone has a voodoo doll of me, I keep feeling pricks."

BOth me and the other lecturer lolled far too much
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:12, Reply)

tracey told me today that when her little girl did sex education at school
they told her where her clitoris was, and that if she rubbed it it would go hard and feel nice. she's 6 years old

what sort of shit is that to tell a fucking 6 year old??! everybody knows there's no such thing
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:14, Reply)

Seriously?
Is this a joke?

They told her that? Aged 6???
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:23, Reply)

No.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:29, Reply)

THAT'S OK THEN.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:31, Reply)

hiya
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:31, Reply)

lower


Ooh this is like 'Play Your Cards Right'!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:33, Reply)

nothing for a pair in this game!
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:34, Reply)

I haven't had a joint for a fucking fortnight. I can't afford pot any more.
It's a miscarriage of justice. I feel like Derek Bentley.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:36, Reply)

It should be a basic human right man.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:38, Reply)

I've not felt so awake in about 25 years. It's fucking horrible.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:39, Reply)

There is always a way.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:40, Reply)

You are Bruce Lee AICM death from being 'too fit'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:41, Reply)

I've not had ketamine since Easter Sunday if that makes you feel any better.
Never have I felt less at one with the horses. It's killing me.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:41, Reply)

It has practically vanished from the wholesale market, I am told.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:46, Reply)

It can't be got anywhere.
Even Ket Wog is out.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:56, Reply)

You are correct.
People keep being knocked with shit like meow meow and returning it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 18:00, Reply)

i love horses
they're my friends
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 18:20, Reply)

no as in no it's not a joke?
because this is what tracey told me and her daughter is at a very posh school and they showed the parents the video too and her daughter told her grandparents all about her clitoris
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 18:41, Reply)

Give em back
Looks like they need a new goal keeper.

One of them chiseled off would be more use ATM.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:43, Reply)

This is about sport, isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:44, Reply)

Sport?
What is this thing of which you speak?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:46, Reply)

I have heard the lower orders talking about it.
I understand it to be some kind of ghastly undignified gadding about type nonsense.

To my mind, it simply will. not. do.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:56, Reply)

On the upside
They are supposed to have the best drunken drugs parties.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:58, Reply)

I can assure you with some confidence that this is not true.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 18:00, Reply)

OMG next you'll be telling me there's no santa.

Bad Monty
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 18:03, Reply)

alright monty
I didn't actually read your post
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:45, Reply)

I think that's no bad thing to be honest.
How are ya? Looking forward to meeting me next year, I'll bet.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:47, Reply)

totally pissing myself in excitement

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:57, Reply)

I couldn't be less surprised.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 18:00, Reply)

we can braid each others hair

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 18:10, Reply)

haha comedy homophobia!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 22:00, Reply)