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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Evening shift. Put that takeaway menu down and amuse me.
Go on, natter away.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 19:58, 190 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I've had a healthy dinner with not so healthy zider.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:02, Reply)
What dinner? I'm hungry, might make an omelette

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:09, Reply)
Smoked mackeral, tenderstem broccoli and mixed grains.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:13, Reply)
Fuck sake, no eggs, no cheese

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:20, Reply)
I am glad you're back.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:17, Reply)
I am chuffed you're glad I'm back : )

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:20, Reply)
But I mean, like, if someone held a gun to a little dog's head, you have to pick, or the gun to a little dog's head will get fired. That dog represents happiness hopes and dreams, by the way. Yeah', if you had to pick between the two of us, me or battered
who you would you be more glad to be glade that you're back, who would you preffer?
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:41, Reply)
HELLO, MY NAME IS GONZ, AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY "HI".

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:41, Reply)
FFS Gonz.
You're both small, dark and cute.

Please don't make me choose.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:43, Reply)
It's ok, I won't make you admit it to him.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:48, Reply)
and THAT is why I'm the favorite.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:48, Reply)
: )

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:51, Reply)
I had a healthy dinner and don't have cider
I didn't even buy the reduced pizza in teh shop which was in my favourite weird flavour :( I really really want pizza
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:31, Reply)
I ate a pizza Monday night that was the size of a small European principality.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:35, Reply)
*jealous*
but I shall stay strong and revel in the small pleasures like honey on toast. One day I will be thin
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:37, Reply)
I was thin once.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:41, Reply)
Boat boat boat!
I've got a full day of work tomorrow too.

This is like xmas when I was 6.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:04, Reply)
BOAT LOL

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:05, Reply)
Fancy some hard graft?
About a mile walk from Crossflats station.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:07, Reply)
Where is Crossflats?
I'm a delicate flower, you've met me, you know this.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:08, Reply)
Between Bingley and Keighley
There may be work for the more limp wristed at a later stage.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:10, Reply)
You're giving work to Darth?
I can only do weekends. I model during the week.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:11, Reply)
I'll give you a shout.
She's a big long mucky job - can't see her being out in the next five years.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:13, Reply)
If you can give me transport from Leeds station and pay me in beer then possibly.
I don't drive. I'm too bent.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:14, Reply)
You can get a direct train to Crossflatts from Leeds. It's about 25 minutes away.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:19, Reply)
First bits are mechanical which is my responsibilty
Once there's an engine in we can move her around.

Then it's metalwork - that's the big job. Can you work an angle-grinder?
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:33, Reply)
No.
Is there something I can do that involves being good-looking?
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:35, Reply)
I can

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:45, Reply)
I cycled that yesterday

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:39, Reply)
How far did you get?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:40, Reply)
28 miles total
I went along the canal from Leeds and made it to Shipley before turning back
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:42, Reply)
Nice ride
Especially because you did the scary bit between Esholt and the swing bridge at Thackley.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:55, Reply)
It was more muddy than scary
But thanks, I look forward to doing it again
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:57, Reply)
Next time get to Saltaire
Tie your push iron up by Don't Tell Titus, give me a ring and I'll see you on the last train to town.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:32, Reply)
I may hold you to this

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:35, Reply)
I'd be delighted.
BOAT isn't too accesible, but a straight spin up the towpath, get off at Saltaire is easy.

How will you get home?
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:40, Reply)
Cycle back probably
train it if necessary
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:44, Reply)
20mins from Leeds and it costs £3.50
I checked the train times
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:54, Reply)
I fucking love boatlol.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:16, Reply)
aight Bobbo?
Has Gears 3 arrived yet, you tremendous quender?
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:05, Reply)
Yeah it's at my brothers, I will nab it back

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:08, Reply)
I'm showing my little sister round some universties next week
So I'm arranging stuff for that
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:09, Reply)
What degree? What uni's?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:09, Reply)
She hasent made up her mind yet
I think she just needs to get our of our one horse town
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:12, Reply)
Avoid Wales like the fucking plague

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:13, Reply)
I studied in Wales.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:13, Reply)
It's shit

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:20, Reply)
Surely you'd be biting his arm off to agree with him
Given the area we were in.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:21, Reply)
I spent most of my time either stoned, off my tits on pills or balls deep in various women.
Soz.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:32, Reply)
Sure, but thats student life everywhere
You don't need to go to a pit like Ponty for that.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:46, Reply)
I have very few clear recollections. Night times were either caned off my tits at home/ round at mates or raving in Cardiff.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:48, Reply)
Wasn't this the plot to Human Traffic?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:51, Reply)
Yes.
But this was 98-2001, the heyday of Mitsubishis and low-cost skunk.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:53, Reply)
UK release date for H.T. was 4th June 1999

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:56, Reply)
You do know it's fiction, right?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:06, Reply)
Yes
The point I was making is that the film came out in the era you referred to
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:15, Reply)
I looked at cardiff ages ago
I thought it was ok at the time
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:48, Reply)
LEEDS!LEEDS!LEEDS!LEEDS!LEEDS!LEEDS!LEEDS!

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:13, Reply)
Yes, it is spiffing

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:48, Reply)
I went to Leeds
It was cracking. Mind you, that was a quarter of a century ago.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:42, Reply)
Leeds is a great place to study.
The nightlife is second only to London.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:10, Reply)
Shes seeing that one first

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:11, Reply)
And if you're wanting a flat...x

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:14, Reply)
Thanks
But the missus lives in Manchester so we'll be there
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:37, Reply)
Mongy
I'm thinking of a flat for your sister.

I've got a couple coming up.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:39, Reply)
If you can tolerate hordes of braying upper-middle class twats completely devoid of courtesy or common sense.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:14, Reply)
But the clubs are fantastic.
Even if you're a rockist, there are still great places to go.

The Mint, the Warehouse, Stinky's, Nation of Shopkeepers, the Hop...
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:17, Reply)
The nation of shopkeepers is my favorite

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:37, Reply)
I love the Joy Division skate deck.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:41, Reply)
I love Joy Division Oven Gloves.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:52, Reply)
Is she into raving, or is she a rockularist?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:18, Reply)
Im not sure
there is a big age gap and I have lived away from home for nearly all her teenage years
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:37, Reply)
Hook a brother up yo'.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:39, Reply)
I have a headache
and a cup of tea
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:36, Reply)
+ a blanket

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:39, Reply)
no
but I've been making one for a while. Yeah, I'm that much of a spinster
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:40, Reply)
wait you mean my cloak
it's deffo a cloak
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:40, Reply)
Is this the cloak of wee?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:45, Reply)
there is no cloak of wee

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:45, Reply)
Rory said it was a magic wee cloak

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:47, Reply)
rory is a liar

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:48, Reply)
I found a new music artist to like ! Someone called Skepta.
He's a bit like dizzy rascle.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:39, Reply)
Old news, Gonz, old newsaroonie.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:42, Reply)
This

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:43, Reply)
Any good youtube links for us?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:45, Reply)
Don't quite know him enough for that, listening to his album for the first time now.
I bought it on a whim on itunes.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:47, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOOcUBwqFxI
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:17, Reply)
I thought you preferred The London Boys?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:43, Reply)
^ projecting

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:54, Reply)
I can't help but wonder which of the comments was yours on the London Possie link

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:01, Reply)
London Boys -" London Nights"
Sampled a huge bit of Television.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:00, Reply)
"London town" Light of the world.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIJUKHsrM1k&feature=youtube_gdata_player
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:03, Reply)
ALL MY DAYZ
I boiled my pasta, yeah', and I heard some noise and there was no water ! All the water went ! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN !!??!!??!
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:50, Reply)
steam

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:51, Reply)
Punk?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:55, Reply)
rock

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:59, Reply)
n' roll

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:01, Reply)
over

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:02, Reply)
turn me round and do it again.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:05, Reply)
COMBO BREAKER

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:07, Reply)
BUt it's only happened once to me before in my hole life and I've not done anything different.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:12, Reply)
Science probably

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 20:59, Reply)
Don't give me science
I NEED FACTS.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:13, Reply)
Check my coll3ctive entries

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:18, Reply)
and mine!
wait...
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:18, Reply)
erm

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:21, Reply)
some of it is like science

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:22, Reply)
Are you workign on anything at the moment?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:29, Reply)
not really
a vague idea about a tastiness spectrum, but mostly I think it's on hold until July at least (work's a bit crazy)
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:31, Reply)
Dormant poster Noel tried to get me into coll3tive.
I didn't bother.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:21, Reply)
Too late
I ordered a great big pizza and I have eaten more than half of it with a beer. Watched Holland-Germany for a bit but it wasn't terribly gripping so I'm watching a film instead.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:19, Reply)
Just got back from a curry.
Taxi into town at 11 for a night I've been meaning to go to for bare time. S'all good.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 21:28, Reply)
I'm on my way home.
keep me amused.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:07, Reply)
This might amuse you...
My wife thinks that me wanting to go and meet a load of strangers off of the Internet is weird.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:11, Reply)
Go on then
For the amusement of night shift, how did the conversation go.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:15, Reply)
Not too bad
Like I said, she thinks it is weird and doesn't understand why I would want to meet some strangers.
But she hasn't objected (although she's not entirely keen on being left alone with two kids for the night).
I'm definitely coming then.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:24, Reply)
remind her of the time she had her vagina around their necks

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:31, Reply)
Ah happy days...

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:33, Reply)
No
sorry to be the etc.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:13, Reply)
It ain't what it used to be.
There are some constants and whether you like it or not I'm one.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:15, Reply)
Abused
you say?

Get in that cellar, dogfucker and prepare to listen to the Bay City Rollers, in perpetuity.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:16, Reply)
Who the fucking hell are you?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:19, Reply)
Me
You?
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:21, Reply)
A nonce, Jeff
I've tried to engage it and all it does is drag up your browsing history.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:23, Reply)
Ah
Pot and kettle, sir.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:25, Reply)
Inadequate fucking clown.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:29, Reply)
Big
Words, for a five year old.

Eat yer rusk, (slowly now) and up to beddy-byes.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:33, Reply)
Yo Phudders
Have you got a dog called Hercules?
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:40, Reply)
No
I made that up.

My dog's a female. It would be ridiculous to call her Hercules.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:45, Reply)
My hamster is called Hercules.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:46, Reply)
Ah
Is this why The Disappointed thinks I'm you?

On the basis of a hamster?

Repeat after me, loudly.

WE ARE NOT THE PET SHOP BOYS.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:49, Reply)
I think so.
Probably also the Aberdonian thing.

And you appeared during my short-lived vacation.

I have absolutely no interest in having a sockpuppet, it's hard enough maintaining one love-or-loathe online persona, let alone two.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:50, Reply)
That and you both being massive benders.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:52, Reply)
Buftie boys.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:53, Reply)
Tangled
up in you.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:57, Reply)
I
Agree. I've hardly the energy to post as one person, let alone two.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:54, Reply)
I
Suppose saying I'm a black guy with dreadlocks would be out of order, then?

Lighten up, fer fuxsake.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:30, Reply)
No drama.
I've got no idea who you are. You're a blue name. Yet you seem to recall the natty dread story.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:49, Reply)
Lurked
for ages, Jeff.

Saw yer post re Lighty and thought it very funny, no more than that.

I wish you no harm and enjoy yer posts. On here, that seems like a crime.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:56, Reply)
No problem.
You can't be too careful.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:02, Reply)
Today I called someone a 'quim limpet'.
I had never before used this phrase.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:17, Reply)
I got called 'sunglasses twat' today.
It was sunny, I'm not not going to wear any.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:20, Reply)
I wear them most days, regardless of the weather.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:25, Reply)
Hiding your face from the paparazzi

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:27, Reply)
That, and as an anti-photic sneezing device.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:31, Reply)
Sounds like some bollocks from 'Star Trek'

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:51, Reply)
I am a photic sneezer.
Sunglasses help prevent this.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:52, Reply)
I maintain that a 'photic sneezer' is some bent laser gun from 'sci fi'.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:56, Reply)
google it

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:56, Reply)
was that by '2 in a room'?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:15, Reply)
Yes. Yes it was.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:19, Reply)
You are bono aicmfp.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:45, Reply)
Are you calling Dozer a cunt?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:46, Reply)
I think he is you know.
HAUD MA BACK!
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:48, Reply)
I'm calling you the spokesman for a generation.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:22, Reply)
every time I snap my fingers, another chick digs me.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:25, Reply)
I wear aviator style ones by Von Zipper.
He wears wraparound ones.

I'm taller than Bono as well.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:47, Reply)
I've just got back from a run
I think perhaps I should have stopped when it started to hurt. I'm not sure I'll be able to walk in the morning...
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:39, Reply)
Sometimes
starting to hurt is when it becomes useful and worthwhile.

Othertimes, not. There are better ways not to be able to walk in the morning.

Probably. No offence, like.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:43, Reply)
Yo Phudders
What's your favourite track by the Ultramagnetic MCs?
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:44, Reply)
Ease Back or Give the Drummer Some.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:50, Reply)
Poppa Large
But I also love Give the Drummer Some.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:51, Reply)
A Chorus Line or Funky.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:52, Reply)
Ego Trippin or Watch Me Now.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:54, Reply)
I also heart Dr Octagon.

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:55, Reply)
Do you know Tuff Crew from Philly?
They were fucking brilliant.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:59, Reply)
Vaguely.
I like stuff from later than you, what with me being 32 and you being 38.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:04, Reply)
You being a wet behind the ears new bug
and me being an old skool head from when 'The Message' came out, you mean?
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:08, Reply)
Me being a dashing and suave devotee of the golden age, and you being stuck in the drum machines era?
Why yes, yes I do.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:10, Reply)
You're stuck in the bum machines era.

No returns.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:13, Reply)
No, YOU'RE stuck in the bum machines era
AND SO'S YOUR FACE!
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:14, Reply)
JINX

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:15, Reply)
Are you positive?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:17, Reply)
I secretly suspect you make all these names up

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:15, Reply)
What?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:18, Reply)
What what?
I like Chalfont Curtains, you probably haven't heard of them, don't get their first album it's a bit "raw", get Angel Brisket Fiasco, but don't listen to the first track.

Etc etc. I could probably write a "muso obscurantist post generator"
(, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 0:47, Reply)
Did
he support Jimmy Shand at the Banff Springs in 1970?

If it wis him, he wis shite.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:52, Reply)
Yeah, this was a knee tendony type of hurt
it was not remotely good.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 22:48, Reply)
Holy diver, I'm a survivor, feeling like De Niro in Taxi Driver
With Jodie Foster and Harvey Keitel, looks like I'm walking through a living hell.

Prithee, whereto, verily forsooth etc.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:01, Reply)
Been down too long in the midnight sea,...

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:15, Reply)
Phudbree's screenname can translate to 'fanny cheese'.
Why is this?
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:15, Reply)
Maybe phud is Scots slang for fanny
And brie's a kind of cheese.
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:26, Reply)
whodathunkit?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:27, Reply)
Why
did this take so long?

"phud" is Doric for "fud", meaning vulva.

"bree" is liquid, usually about soup, other than bones, vegetables, etc.

I should be known as KlopperFroth.
(, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 0:16, Reply)
I've been having a gaz natter with Dozer and he claims not to be Phudbree
I've been around here too long - you get to recognise certain styles. Unless Phudbree is real he can only be one other person who knows my number..
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:27, Reply)
What? Phudbree has your mobile number?

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:32, Reply)
Go on...

(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:40, Reply)
I
Don't know your number, nor wish to know it.

It can't be be 43?

I've tried that. Told not be be a cunt and quite right too.
(, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 0:04, Reply)
This is well LOL
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-18428965
(, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 23:36, Reply)
It's
nae reel, min.

Ken?
(, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 0:07, Reply)

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