Well, what a crazy day *this* has turned out to be, eh gang?!!
We've had more knobs in here than the Country Life butter factory. And all because KEN OATH pooed his pants.

Well. I'd gaz the mods if I wasn't a secret mod myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:36, 104 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Only in the sense that you secretly like shit suits and crap mopeds
the alternative is laughable.
( Kroney, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:38, Reply)

I don't want to sound menacing or owt,
but me and the other mods here have our eyes on you, pal.

You are *this* close, son.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:40, Reply)

BEEEEELLLLLLLLLBBBBBOOOOOOOOYYYYYY
jump off a cliff you penistard.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:42, Reply)

*necks some 'blues*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)

I'll neck you in a minute sonny,
Mark my words.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:49, Reply)

Best thing on the internet. Right here.
*points at self*
( Kroney, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:48, Reply)

feels like it needs some
end of season finale music
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:44, Reply)

wait
I replied to the wrong thing. Mind you, Monty riding off into the sunset on a moped is pretty funny
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)

hey monty.
Piss off you nonce.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:38, Reply)

Yeah YOU FIRST.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:39, Reply)

i need an effective way of keeping birds from eating the lawn seed,
And I'm not getting a cat, and I'm terrible with an air rifle.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Keep the lawn seed in the packet, in a locked cupboard 100% effective trufax

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:48, Reply)

TOO LATE FOR THAT!
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:48, Reply)

Electricfy the lawn

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:52, Reply)

i'm not digging it up again to lay cables.
I'm just going to run up and down it screaming and waving my arms until it germinates I reckon.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:58, Reply)

no need, buy some roles of chicken wire, lay then across the "lawn"
attach to the mains, safe lawn + roasted pigeon, it's win/win WP
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Roles?
You LARP flid. Only you could have a LARP character that is some fucking wire, Nakers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)

i like this.
I'm off to homebase in the morning. I even have installed an outside plug for the pond pump, but fuck the frogs, I'm getting deep fried sparrow.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:09, Reply)

I'm not surprised you keep it a secret
I bet you look an utter cunt in a Parka.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:40, Reply)

At least he got a go on Lesley Ash before her face exploded.

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:44, Reply)

COCK

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:40, Reply)

COCKlol.
'Well, what a crazy cock *this* has turned out to be, eh cocks?!!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Monty COCK lol

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:42, Reply)

PsychoCock!!!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)

I just shit myself with all these lols

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)

Wait... wait...
self COCK

You shoved shit up your cockend and shat out cocky shit!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)

This is truly the nadir of OT

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:21, Reply)

tuesday?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:41, Reply)

So, let me get this right
Today a chap called Ken Oath did an epically meta post on QOTW in which he has a live tantrum at those who think trolling is a substitute for human interaction. Consequently QOTW has gone the way of Princess Di, genuinely amusing British sketch comedy (honourable nod to Horrible Histories) and Tupac but not Biggie, let's be honest.

Er... WTF?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)

yes
but there's been all sorts of people going on boards they didn't used to go on, it's madness
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:46, Reply)

i'm lost,
Where is /pig porn?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:48, Reply)

Fry me up some eggs
I'll slap them, some buttery bread and brown sauce around my cock for you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:49, Reply)

i don't like this.
:(
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:50, Reply)

Within a week you'll be begging for the days of PENIS BACON
Off Topic does terrible things to a boy's brain
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:52, Reply)

Pssst. W. Pig here is on holiday from /talk

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:54, Reply)

where is the "/talk" you speak of?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Second door on the left.
Off you go, they'll fucking *love* you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:58, Reply)

Ah, the greener grass principle
Let's make the boy at home Monters. Want him to go back with stories to tell. Break out the sodomites
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Nor I.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:54, Reply)

I'll be honest, I'm tempted
but it's been a long time since I had cock or bacon
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Pigs in blankets is what you need

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)

DISCLAIMER:
my cock is not actually bacon
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:58, Reply)

but it does make that white sputum stuff you see on old bacon on a hotplate

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:58, Reply)

That's 'bacon milk' (c) my brother.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Bacon milk might just have replaced cock yoghurt as my favourite spaff euphemism

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:00, Reply)

you have to be careful around desperate fatties
could get nasty
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:00, Reply)

I'll knock your teeth out with my trusty baseball bat first
No risk
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:03, Reply)

that seems...umm....fair?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:05, Reply)

Ironically I have the words "my cock" painted on the end of said bat
Makes for some brilliant 80's action movie one-liners.

"The last thing you'll see before I knock you the fuck out will be my cock in your face"

Etc
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:08, Reply)

Our apprentice recently "your name" and "my name" tattooed on each buttock

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 19:44, Reply)

on your hard drive

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:49, Reply)

There's a really obvious "cock" replacement sentence here
Cock your hard drive!

No...

On cock hard drive?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)

I think /QOTWers should have to wear some sort of armband until they have cleared quarantine

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:55, Reply)

*Secret MODSTAPO fives*

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

If you're a mod then show us some magic to prove it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)

[mod edit]
Naked Ape is a prick.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

not cool stuj,
I was being nice for once.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

:D

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:00, Reply)

Do that thing where you trap yourself in a box over the Thames for like 6 weeks
That was definitely magic, and not attention-grabbing twattery
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

We could go and throw sausages at him.
Actually, no, fuck that, I'm not wasting good food like that.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:01, Reply)

There's a compromise here
TESCO VALUE SAUSAGES
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:03, Reply)

HOW DARE YOU BLASPHEME

( Kroney, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)

I tell you what, living with a veggie makes you appreciate decent meats

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:07, Reply)

Is that why you turned?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:08, Reply)

I can't decide whether you're accusing my of vegetarianism
Or being dull, predictable, boring and a bent spastic by making ANOTHER gay jibe.

Actually... yes I can.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:09, Reply)

gay lol

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:11, Reply)

I have lamb & mint sausages for tea tonight
This makes me happy.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:09, Reply)

What are you having for dinner?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:10, Reply)

New potatoes and steamed sweetcorn

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:12, Reply)

Did you know Randy Blythe is in a Czech jail on a manslaughter charge?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:16, Reply)

I've probably got rice cakes or veg in a gluten-free pitta or some such
I love dieting.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:10, Reply)

I've just had snack of treacle tart and Sloe Gin
i win the thursday snack wars!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:07, Reply)

I'm seriously going to ban you in a minute.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:08, Reply)

are you jealous of my afternoon snack?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:09, Reply)

i am

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:10, Reply)

I don't really like sweet food.
I'll have a gin though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:19, Reply)

bollocks,
I've got 4 cans of boddingtons and a satsuma.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:11, Reply)

at work?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:12, Reply)

no.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:13, Reply)

I see
another dole scum, thins place attracts them like flies on shit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:13, Reply)

not dole scum.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:18, Reply)

*Saxophone blares over a dark Chicago back alley*
Husky-voiced VT: Thin's Place. The seedy stench of the place permeated every inch of Chicago. The cops couldn't shut it down and the mob couldn't get enough of it. Everyone knew it was the bad apple spoiling the Windy City's barrel. Dole scum gravitated there like some kind of winged insect drawn to fecal matter. Poor puns, cock jokes in lieu of humour and terrible bullying flowed like tinned Boddingtons. And yet... I find myself heading back there, yet again. Why?

Because of a (panto) dame...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:19, Reply)

You're ripe for a banning too.
Stop it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:20, Reply)

You are really abusing your "power" this afternoon

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:23, Reply)

Get bent you pigfucking untermensch

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:26, Reply)

That's a recipe for an epic stranglewank, right there.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:34, Reply)

I read that as "sack of treacle tart"
sounded about right for this place.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:37, Reply)

Hi all,
You'll be pleased to know that I am now sitting at home with my first cold beer.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:35, Reply)

Thanks, 'friend'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:37, Reply)

Hello quenders, have I missed much this week?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:35, Reply)

Nope been dead, nothing like nothing has happened at all, honest

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:36, Reply)

Just by dropping that h, I read that in my comedic 'allo 'allo accent.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:38, Reply)

I will say zis only once

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:40, Reply)

Shit all, B-Dogg.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:37, Reply)

Hey Monts it was horrible, horrible I tell you
First I had to leave the cool air conditioned office then walk to my car in this heat, the air con in the car kept me cool then I had to walk from the car into the house, Ohhhhh man, lucky I have now got a cool beer to help recover from this ordeal.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:40, Reply)

With all that exercise, you'll live to be 106.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:41, Reply)

I plan on living till I'm 111

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:57, Reply)

Listen Double H, much more of this and you're going on my banning 'maybe' list.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:49, Reply)

OK I'll be good
Whens visiting rights?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:50, Reply)

You'll be in solitary, pal - no visits.


Soz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:54, Reply)

Thats no punishment for a B3tan, you should make them socialise and go outdoors 100% punishment believe me

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:56, Reply)

you wouldn't dare ban me.
You massive queen.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 18:02, Reply)

I thought not, bra.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:40, Reply)

sweet fuck all

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 26 Jul 2012, 17:50, Reply)