SHOUTING.
I instigated a full-blown shouted argument with a customer of mine at 8:59 this morning. I am still fucking livid at the slanderous cunt. But generally I'm not one of life's shouters.

Are you? If so, do you do so as a technique to get what you want (as my ghastly prole of a boss does) or do you lose control and can't help it?

There was a hilarious dunce on the tube last night who was being absolutely destroyed at full volume by his girlfriend. We heard it all, including how his mum wouldn't post bail for him and how he was going straight to 'Scrubs' for 18 months, out in nine but he wasn' bothered. She countered this by saying he was a 'dick' who needed to 'man up' and suggested prison might help with this. It was v LOL.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:56, 116 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I think you know my answer to this question.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)

I'm not a shouter, specially not at customers.
What did he say to cause you to lose it?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)

"Hendrix is shit"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)

"I like your mum's windows"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:07, Reply)

+c d

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)

"no one you know decapitated a drug dealer"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)

'can I speak to the person responsible for the company's telephone account please'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:12, Reply)

He has been all over 'Twitter' and review sites saying we are a 'ripoff' and worse.
He asked for his goods to be left in the fucking street and they were nicked. He has seen the full tracking history, along with the subesquent enquiry with the carrier showing the GPS records of where the driver parked, he's taken up hours of my time and after all that the fucking arsehole is slating my firm all over the fucking internet.

With this in mind I called him and asked him whether he was in any doubt as to whether we'd sent his goods or not, and whether we'd done all we could to help him and even after he admitted that we were not in any way at fault he said he'd continue to call us cunts online unless he had a refund.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Release that information through Twitter?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)

lol ur stuf gt nicked lol #gutted

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:12, Reply)

Just send him a cease and desist stating everything.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)

I'm *this* close to posting him a bot dog.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)

cease and desist stating everything bot dog
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:12, Reply)

and then what

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)

Then get a summary judgment against him.
Even if he doesn't pay the charges for it, you can send that to the websites he's posted shit on and they should take it off.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)

It's a civil matter, with libel being an expensive niche area. It's very expensive to pursue a libel action, and pointless if the defendant is of no means.
There's always going to be negative reviews of a service, any dick can write shit on the internet.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)

I fear I just have to let him keep being a cunt until he gets bored.
There's no way on earth I'm replacing his goods or refunding him.

The spastic wants to go to Trading Standards who will set him straight.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)

What goods were they
I hope it was dildos
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)

I'm not going to say.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)

oh, well, I guess that the end of that then
I'll continue to believe it was dildos
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)

I'm not HimJim you know.
He's the dildo-meister.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)

The threat of legal action might have some sway with any websites of note, being the business is being libelled and they are facilitating that libel
Fair criticism is one thing, but depending on the content of his pissy moanings on industry specific websites statements designed to maliciously harm the business are a different matter.
If you ignore him he'll get bored and wait for his next online crusade, just contact site mods for deletion of his comments.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

*nods*
Ta
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Can't you report it to the police and give them all the information you have?
That way it's up to them to investigate.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:46, Reply)

The point is that he's venting because he's an idiot.
Tighten the screws and he'll fuck off. Or write a counter to all his claims on the website.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Just had another ten minute row with the cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)

Did you say "IM ASKING FOR ADVICE ON B3TA NOW, YOU'RE IN TROUBLE"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)

I did.
He's gone into hiding now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:59, Reply)

Set your prole boss on him

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)

He's on holiday

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

I only shout when I really lose my temper, which is quite rare
And generally, it's only ever aimed at the same person, as she's able to annoy me more than anyone else. However, when I do shout, it usually surprises people, as I have a very loud voice.

Today is not going well, I've got a headache, a sore throat, my banoffee pie didn't go well last night, and my fly has just broken.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:00, Reply)

We all hate Bella AA, it;'s fair enough to get annoyed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Haven't spoken to her in months, old boy.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)

No wonder.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:13, Reply)

I never shout at customers, which is a shame because most of them are fucking idiots.
I shout at other drivers when I'm travelling to and from work.
I don't need to shout or use any other technique to get what I want at work, because everyone has to do what I say.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:10, Reply)

I shout at the tv and the newspaper more than real people. I find speaking very quietly is more effective than shouting
Especially with little ones anyway
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:13, Reply)

"You love your sister? You make any noise, you know what happens. I'm gonna kill her instead of you. Understand?"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:14, Reply)

No, not really. Soz bbz

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)

I'm calling you a child rapist and murder
HTH

Morning Bob
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)

Oh, fair dinkum,
Morning chef.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)

report him to the police, what a cunt
i wouldn't take that if i was you
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:46, Reply)

I'm well chilled all the time
*reclines*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:15, Reply)

(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)

other road users mainly, London has turned me into an arsehole driver

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:15, Reply)

So which town turned you into a bent spastic?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Weston Super Mare

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)

lol
I' have been there actually, only once and it was long time ago
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)

That's all it takes.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)

I'm terribly British, so I tut more than shout.
But I have dreams where people piss me off and I really let fly at them. I think it's repressed rage.
Raaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Cunts, pricks, and cyclists, mainly.
While we had the idiot prole builders in, one of them was pretty well constantly on his 'phone shouting at his girlfriend about the various parking fines he'd accrued, and would then, er ... "regale" me with the detail of the story, and how he wanted a new girlfriend.

Which was nice.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:26, Reply)

I don't think I have had a proper shout since I lived at home and shouted at my mum
These days I use my calm yet threatening voice.
( Peej, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:27, Reply)

"you don't want to end up like my dad... it runs in the family you know"

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)

I SHOUT AT SPORT GO TEAM GB

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:27, Reply)

COMEONTIM!

( Peej, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)

DON'T DIVE LIKE THAT YOU CUNT!
YOU'VE LET YOUR DAD DOWN.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)

IF YOU'D HAVE DIVED BETTER YOUR DAD WOULDN'T HAVE DIED

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)

They've arrested the troll. Bizarre.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)

Last week they decidd that threatening to blow up an airport was a joke
This week they've decided that a sweaty virgin in his bedroom threatening to drown a man he has no chance of ever getting near to is an arrestable offence.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Who repeatedly apologised about it soon after.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:44, Reply)

worst thing is it wasn't even Tom's fault, it was the dick next to him that caused the big splash that cost the match
we should kill his dad out of support for tom
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)

COME ON TOM!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)

oh i wouldn't mind actually, he's quite a dish

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)

pedo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

HE'S 18 ITS LEGAL I CAN FUCK HIM IF I WANT EVEN THO HE LOOKS 12
same goes for bieber and connor winegums
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)

who?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:40, Reply)

CONNOR WINEGUMS
Turn your hearing aid on, love.
( Kroney, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)

connor maynard
some kid who keeps making songs about all the girls that love him, the UK's answer to bieber apparently

looks like a right little cunt to me
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Oh.
Right then. Thanks.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)

np bbz
dunno why i'm speaking to you anyway, you hate me for no reason :(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:44, Reply)

it's probably because you are a cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:59, Reply)

as if!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:15, Reply)

I save my angry shouting
and do it rarely. That way it scares the shit out of people. It's actually quite fun to watch the genuine fear in their eyes.

Shouting for fun is good, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)

YOUR ALL SHIT

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)

On the plus side it seems I have a customer called 'Mrs K Bender'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)

I used to shout a lot when i was chefing,
I tried to take the Shouty technique front of house when I moved out of the kitchen, but found it quickly lost its effect when you can't back it up by throwing a hot pan at the bastard waiters. So I found other ways to get stuff done. I have the occasional rant still, but I shout more at cunt drunks on a Saturday night at kick out. I can get quite aggressive.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

I love it when you go all butch
It gives me a tingle in my bottom
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)

Their's only a handful of people that can get me cross enough to yell at them.
Two of them are family, one was the ex. Everybody else just gets told to shut the fuck up, it usually suffices. I'm really more of a soapbox ranter.
( Kroney, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

FUS-RO-DAH

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)

I've been playing the DLC for that.
I've got a new character unarmed and shouts only. It's fun.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Sounds pony.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:59, Reply)

Hey if they weren't happy with your service
darling - send them to your pimp.
& in future make sure you do like your mum does & get the moola up-front.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Haha, yeah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:54, Reply)

What happened to your okcupid account?
Did your wife find out?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)

Oh Rory
I read your arguement with EMV yesterday. Brilliant stuff. I especially liked the 'Optimus Prime isn't even in my top 10' bit. Just wanted to say I love your work.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)

That little subthread there
makes the 8-odd years I've wasted on here seem perfectly worthwhile.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:00, Reply)

It was perfect
One of those real facepalm moments.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:02, Reply)

I wish he's link me his optimus prime porn :(

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:03, Reply)

My god, who would admit to that?
But it was thoroughly entertaining, so thank you.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:04, Reply)

Oh my God
He has an Optimus Prime porn site? That's...unusual.
( Kroney, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:14, Reply)

i just googled optimus prime porn
i was not happy with the results :(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:15, Reply)

hahaha

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:19, Reply)

NSFW but omg so LOL
www.randomnude.com/?attachment_id=55514
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Haha I was just debating whether to link that.
I did a Muttley laugh at that.
( Kroney, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:25, Reply)

he's quite well endowed, too

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Of course he is
He's Optimus Prime!

ROLL OUT
( Kroney, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:29, Reply)

You don't know what that means to me

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:03, Reply)

Link plzzz

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:06, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/tantrums/post1683134
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)

ahahaha!
he has a top ten transformers!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:13, Reply)

I know right?
So great.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:15, Reply)

i wish i could at least name ten transformers, i feel like sucha failure
:(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:17, Reply)

Let alone putting them into the order in which you prefer them
GROWN MEN LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...GROWN MEN.
Mind you, men that are into My Little Pony is worse, I think.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:18, Reply)

i dunno, at least my little pony worship has some street cred
i'm gonna give my top ten transformers a bash here;
the baddie one, megatron 1st
then sideswipe
barrycade
starscr3am
soundcavy
the dinosaur ones
bumblebaldmonkey
montipus Prime

is that enough? i tried to make some of them like b3ta names with barry and swipe in there
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:22, Reply)

very brilliant Q

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Brilliant, just brilliant.
I'm reassured to know that none of the people involved in that got upset at all.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:15, Reply)

Oh no, not at all
You'd be crazy to assume that
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:17, Reply)

Still not getting it.
Maybe you should elucidate.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:02, Reply)

Oh my god
So you mean that when you're talking into a mobile phone you're not completely silent to the world around you? Oh god oh god oh god oh god.

Alt: Hey Monce.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:54, Reply)

YO.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)

Also, I only ever shout
That way I get maximum attention at any given time.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 10:56, Reply)

IT WORKS FOR ME.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:00, Reply)

I do shout when I lose my temper actually
And then feel slightly embarrassed afterwards. You'd have thought that after 35 years I'd learn to realise when I'm being a knob.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:04, Reply)

I'm 40 next year, and it still frequently takes a good 24hrs for me to realise
when you're being a knob.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Oh, Monty Boyce ladies and gentlemen!
;)
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)

I can let you have that one for, let's say, a fiver?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:10, Reply)

Done

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 11:11, Reply)