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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Help me out /OT,
I'm sorting out the pub quiz for tonight, and i need 5 film quotes, from 5 different films that all have the same actor in. The quotes don't neccesarily have to be from the actor, he/she just as to appear in all 5.
This is for a pub quiz mind, so none of your obscure vampire fat porn stuff.
Alt: If you don't want to help, why not?
Altalt: When was the last time you were genuinely terrified? I had a really narrow escape in my car the other day, almost got taken out by a lorry that was being driven like a prick, had to stop and have a little wait before i got the confidence to drive on.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:06,
183 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Altalt: The other day I was pissing about in a lorry then suddenly there this car appeared out of nowhere
I nearly killed the prick.
I was genuinely terrified as I don't want my insurance premiums to rise.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:09,
Reply)
alt: Because you're a bent spastic
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:13,
Reply)
noYOU ARE!
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:17,
Reply)
ANOTHER GOLD
FUCK YEAH WE'RE AWESOME!
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:19,
Reply)
ha ha, he walked over the line.
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:21,
Reply)
his stupid little brother didn't even know when to get on his bicycle, you'd have thought they'd have practiced that bit.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:28,
Reply)
'Feel the stag'
'JUNIOR!!!'
'run along now, man talk'
'The enemy of the people is dead'
'Special Executive for Counterintelligence, Revenge and Extortion'
CONNERY, OF COURSH.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:13,
Reply)
1. Highlander
2. Indiana Jones III
3. Goldfinger
4. Time Banditsch
5. Dr No
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:13,
Reply)
You're well into film.
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:19,
Reply)
I've seen all the films - ALL of them.
ET, The Goonies, Gremlins, Dances with Wolves - THE FUCKIN LOT.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:20,
Reply)
I've even seen 'Superman 1'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:22,
Reply)
Milton keynes train station is in Superman 3
FACT!
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:23,
Reply)
milton keynes gets better and better,
i might move there
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:24,
Reply)
Do it, there's loads to do!
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:25,
Reply)
If only Cliff Richard had filmed a roller-skating themed promotional video there.
That would swing it for me, I think.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:26,
Reply)
Have you seen Memento
stupid people always say that's their favourite film.
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:22,
Reply)
Yes*
*no
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:26,
Reply)
It'll be your favourite film.
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:29,
Reply)
My favourite film has been 'Performance' since about 1989.
This will not change. Even 'Armour of God II' failed to take the top spot.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:30,
Reply)
yeah, they are wonrg!
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:27,
Reply)
If you want a relatively easy one
any Sean Connery or Roger Moore James Bond quotes would do it. Plenty of quips like "I think he got the point" etc.
For Connery you could also start off a bit harder with Highlander or Hunt for Red October?
altalt: near misses in the car, mostly. ABS is an absolute godsend.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:15,
Reply)
In your own time, knobcheese.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:16,
Reply)
unfortunately, not only did monty beat you to it,
but we've done connery before
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:16,
Reply)
OK Harrison Ford then.
'I have a bad feeling about this'
'JUNIOR!!!'
etc
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:17,
Reply)
i'm listeniing
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:18,
Reply)
Fucking hell Winders you lazy shit.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:19,
Reply)
Which film is that from?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:20,
Reply)
'Bent Spastic: The Winders Story'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:21,
Reply)
My how the tables have turned...
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:33,
Reply)
i do this every week,
its someone elses turn to do the work.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:22,
Reply)
Oh noes, I appear to have read Monty's mind!
*bokes *
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:17,
Reply)
Altalt: have you ever smoked DMT?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:17,
Reply)
nope,
bit scary eh?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:18,
Reply)
You could say that.
Scary, but the most incredible experiences of my life.
Take THAT, 'birth of my daughter'.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:20,
Reply)
Is that their new hit?
(
Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:27,
Reply)
Hahahaha it was going to be, but the release was cancelled due to 'delivery problems'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:29,
Reply)
I'm just booking my "hell" tickets for laughing like a loon at this
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:34,
Reply)
I am well fucking pleased with this one, I cannot lie.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:38,
Reply)
Years ago, freaked me out.
Freakiest was Potter's Asthma Relief, had something to do with Belladonna. I don't think it's around anymore. Mental, absolutely mental.
(
Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:27,
Reply)
Salvia was pretty scary
Although that's probably because I had no idea what to expect.
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
"Don't tell me about ambush, I just ambushed you with a fuckin' cup of coffee"
"For England, James"
"This is a control question, a riddle really. How would you say would be the easiest way to take a weapon away from a Grammaton Cleric?"
"Listen! Who are we looking for here, huh? IRA terrorists or some ultra-violent faction of the IRA, fighting the cause their way? Jimmy O'Reardon checked into a hotel with a woman with long red hair. Long red hair! This is who we should be looking for! We find her... we'll find him."
"AND MY AXE"
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:22,
Reply)
Sean Bean, seen?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:22,
Reply)
Sorry, are you asking me for confirmation, or making a statement?
Your inner city street jive confuses me.
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:25,
Reply)
he's bare shit
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:28,
Reply)
1: I ain't got time to bleed
2: I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I’m going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine
3: It's not a tumour
4: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!
5: Remember when I said I’d kill you last… I lied!
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:26,
Reply)
*incoherent screaming*
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:27,
Reply)
did a moth just fly in?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:35,
Reply)
Oh ZING
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:36,
Reply)
:(((
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:46,
Reply)
Is 2 from The Running Man?
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:51,
Reply)
maybe
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:58,
Reply)
4 Gonad the barbarian
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:10,
Reply)
Alt: BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIANT GINGER PRICK
Nah, you're alright you are.
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:26,
Reply)
you know what KP,
sometimes, you know exactly what to say, to make me cry.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:27,
Reply)
Look, you know how I feel about you
And it's nothing to do with love.
Anyway, I've helped you with your pub quiz before. What are you, lazy? Stupid? Stazy?
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:39,
Reply)
what 'W' is a fat lazy waster?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:40,
Reply)
ROFL
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:45,
Reply)
i am indeed both lazy and stupid.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:44,
Reply)
:(
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:46,
Reply)
it's ok,
i'm happy.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:52,
Reply)
Take out that scrunchie and kiss me you fool
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:58,
Reply)
Where is young Quentin, eh?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:43,
Reply)
stepped
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:44,
Reply)
Haha, what a prick
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:46,
Reply)
Ah. Quelle surprise*
*FRENCH
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:46,
Reply)
how do these people get stepped all of the time?
Do you have to insult a mod?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:47,
Reply)
Ask Battered, he's a fucking expert.
The options are, I understand it:
1. mention 'shed' ad nauseum
2. call a mod a nonce ad nauseum
There might be other techniques but these two are guaranteed to work.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:50,
Reply)
I think needless repetition is the key
Particularly if you have already been asked to stop.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:51,
Reply)
I think needless repetition is the key
Particularly if you have already been asked to stop.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:51,
Reply)
Etc.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:51,
Reply)
Never underestimate the power of Rob 'just being in a bad mood'
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:52,
Reply)
I heard all mods are rapists.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:54,
Reply)
I head they have a shed in which they commit their foul crimes.
That's what I heard.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:54,
Reply)
Proof
i.imgur.com/vJHIi.jpg
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:56,
Reply)
Or be mean to my girlfriend.
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:59,
Reply)
yeah you grassed him up good
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:04,
Reply)
nowt to do with me
she's twitter pals with cr3
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
It's when you speak the truth
they will only silence the truth
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:52,
Reply)
"Yes"
"No"
"Hi"
"Hello"
"Hahaha"
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:46,
Reply)
Too easy?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:47,
Reply)
Woody Allen
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:48,
Reply)
Ernest Borgnine, right?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:47,
Reply)
You see this is why I could never write quiz questions
Everyone would always get full marks.
Edit: Apart from Nakers ^
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:49,
Reply)
Hahaha
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:54,
Reply)
I don't know who Ernest Borgnine is
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:55,
Reply)
one of Hollywoods greatest persona's
he only stopped acting because everyone thought he was dead already
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:00,
Reply)
For some reason I always thought that Donald Sutherland was dead
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:02,
Reply)
I keep hoping kirk douglas was already dead
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:03,
Reply)
"You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks"
"Is that a nose or did a bus park on your face?"
"The white man gets all the best catchphrases!"
"To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American. "
"Catching Bilko is hard as nailing Jell-O to the wall."
There you go. 2 of these are said by the actor in question.
AltAlt: Flying to France about 4 years ago, the plane hit an air pocket, and dropped like a stone, although it was for less than a second, it scared the shit out of me.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:50,
Reply)
Tim Robbins?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:53,
Reply)
Nope.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:10,
Reply)
The bloke off May to December?
Anton something
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:55,
Reply)
Hate to say it, but the middle one is from a Steve Martin film
but not
said by him
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:56,
Reply)
Oops, sorry
The quote doesn't have to be made by the actor. Carry on.
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
"The quotes don't neccesarily have to be from the actor, he/she just as to appear in all 5."
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
I ALREADY SAID SORRY...JESUS!
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:59,
Reply)
Didn't Steve Martin also do Bilko?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
He did
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:59,
Reply)
*finger on nose and points*
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
who are you supposed to be?
I didn't get the secret gaz
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
Who am I SUPPOSED to be?
Just me man, just me. *clears throat*
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:58,
Reply)
Alright Noel
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:58,
Reply)
No.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
Or, if you want to make it more difficult
"I'll shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a popsicle. "
"I've been at the mercy of men just following orders. Never again. "
"You cock-juggling thundercunt!"
"Only my homeboys call me Rome, pig."
"I've never seen so many backwards ass country fucks in my entire life"
Only one of these is by the actor in question.
HINT: Dexter.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:56,
Reply)
Wesley Snipes, innit
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
No
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:08,
Reply)
The first is from the film "The Warriors"
But I can't think who the actor is
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:16,
Reply)
He's a background character in pretty much every film
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:24,
Reply)
The 4th film is 2fast 2furious
still can't think who it is.
Thorn Barry? or James Remar?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
*finger on nose and points*
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
\o/
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:36,
Reply)
James Remar
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
Winnar!
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
He stole my thunder once again
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:36,
Reply)
Best soundtrack ever*
*apart from Shaft In Africa
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
"Nowhere to run, Nowhere to hide"
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:31,
Reply)
The first twenty seconds of In the City by Joe Walsh are incredible.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:38,
Reply)
We've already covered this subject
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
I never tire of it.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:41,
Reply)
"Clinks three bottles together"
Monty come out to playayayayay
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
kevin nealon
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:16,
Reply)
Im thinking Michael Beck
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:19,
Reply)
No
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:20,
Reply)
The Actor Kevin Eldon?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:27,
Reply)
Nope
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:28,
Reply)
'I'm a man I tell you, A MAAAAN'
'I'm Camembert! I'm the big cheese!'
'Fire at will! Poor old Will, why do they always fire at him?'
Plus two more.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:04,
Reply)
I dunno, something from before 1990
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:05,
Reply)
Kenneth Williams?
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
'Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!'
(
Kid Presentable, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:08,
Reply)
*nose/pointy gesture*
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:22,
Reply)
I know! I know! I know!
Barry Manilow*
* I don't know Barry Manilow
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
That's not a blasted oak, that's a bleedin' yew ... !
(
BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:29,
Reply)
This thread is dire...
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:05,
Reply)
it is nakers,
but it has sorted me out with 3 quotes rounds, so from my point of view, a success.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
Are you using mine?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:11,
Reply)
no.
yours was shit.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:13,
Reply)
:'(
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:15,
Reply)
did you use mine?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:21,
Reply)
He totes used mine
got a couple of easy quotes so everybody gets a chance and some harder ones to let people feel smug.
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
It's got about as much life left in it as Dozer's hamster
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:10,
Reply)
haha
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:11,
Reply)
10/10
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:17,
Reply)
Hercules is still in the land of the living.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
put it out of its misery
and buy a new one?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:14,
Reply)
no way.
I love my hamster.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:15,
Reply)
BEST QOTW EVER
was the guy who wanted to buy a hamster for his daughter; have you seen it?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:17,
Reply)
no
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:18,
Reply)
as it's quiet on here today
My daughter's hamster
It's my daughter's 4th birthday and I go up to the posh bit of Enfield and buy a beautiful loving black hamster and a hamster cage.
The hamster comes in a cardboard box that I place on the seat of my car as I drive down to Hackney.
Well, it starts battering away at the sides of the box so I put the box into the footwell of the passenger seat.
I got home, went into the house with the cage and then returned to the car. The hamster had bitten a hole through it's box and as I'd left the car doors open had fucked off into the street.
Fuck. Anyways its only 4pm so I'll go to a Hackney pet shop and get a replacement hamster.
I get to the pet shop and ask for a hamster. "OK!" says the young lad who's underage working in the shop.
Anyway he shows me this golden hamster in it's cage. "OK that'll do!" I say. He opens the cage and grabs the hamster which does not move. "Oh err he must be sleeping! I'll see if there are any others!". The hamster in the cage is clearly dead. Anyway he gets me another hamster from the back of the shop. And this is a Hackney hamster. It's got attitude, an ASBO and wears a hoodie. It starts screaming away as it gets put into its cardboard box but I think fuck it I can't let my dear daughter down.
Anyway I install the hamster in its cage and then drive into middle of London to collect my daughter from nursery.
My daughter's birthday is in November so it's dark by now.
As Im travelling along I look in the rearview mirror and I see the original black hamster cleaning its paws on the rear parcel shelf. Fuck me. I thought I'd beeter catch it and put it back in its box otherwise my daughter might freak out in the car.
So I stop the car and then suddenly get an inordinate fear of being bitten by this hamster. So I put on a pair of big ski gloves that I had handy and began to try and catch this fucking hamster.
So there I am, on a dark evening, looking for a black hamster in a black-trimmed car with a pair of black gloves on. Fucking genius.
Anyway I caught it after 15 mins put it in ots own cardboard box, nested that box into the econd cardboard box and put the fucker in the boot.
Anyway I picked my daughter up and was travelling back to Hackney and got at attack of guilt. What if the poor hamster was suffocating? I could have that on my conscience even though I was secretly thinking of murdering the working class Hackney hamster.
So I opened the boot and fuck me the little bastard had chewed through both boxes and was free in the car. Fuck it I thought.
So I start driving again and sure enough the little fucker was on the parcel shel again loking straight at the mirror - and I swear it was smiling.
Anyway I screeched to a halt opemed the back door and the hamster shot off into Newington Green never to be seen again.
2 days later my daughter leaves the lid off the cage and the mad Hackney gangsta hamster escape and comes a ropper in a moustrap we had down.
So we replaced it with a pair of the wifes tights all rolled up and she was quite happy with that (she thought it was having a really long sleep) for a couple of weeks until we got a third hamster.
(tonyhrx, Tue 12 Jun 2007, 13:34, I like this!, More)
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:18,
Reply)
is that satire of some sort?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
"sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and a story is just a story"
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
stop bullying me please.
We all know you only bully me because you fancy me.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
yes
i fancy pixels on a screen. that'll be it.
muppet.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:28,
Reply)
You're a chick. Ergo you dig him.
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:29,
Reply)
is that how it works?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:29,
Reply)
Do you not see how often he says chicks dig him?
You are a female, I take it?
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
this is correct.
Chicks do indeed dig me.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:35,
Reply)
repetition does not necessarily equal truth
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
Racist.
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
Needs MOAR goat
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:26,
Reply)
What about a goldfish?
Easy to replace, cost bugger-all, can flush them down the toilet once the kids lose interest.
I went and purchased a dog from the RSPCA for my kids, which has suprisingly turned out to be a wild success.
The dog is so happy to be part of a family, came house-trained, and guards our house like her life depends on it. She travels everywhere with us and is very tolerant of the kids "dressing her up" in blankets and towels.
(
Ken Oath, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
what about you throw a tantrum and get qotw closed down again?
Terrible trolling, right here.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
Well...I guess the mods listen to some, and ignore others.
(
Ken Oath, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
alternatively, grow some fucking balls.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
lol
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:19,
Reply)
"show me the money! show me the money!"
“Even in my dreams, I’m an idiot who knows he’s about to wake up to reality.”
“I feel the need – the need for speed.”
“We just rolled up a snowball and threw it into Hell. Now we’ll see if it has a chance.”
"Find a hair in your quiche?"
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:12,
Reply)
Tom Cruise
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:12,
Reply)
Tom Cruise.
The closet gay prick.
What is it about guys called Tom and closeted gayness?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:13,
Reply)
they are all in denial
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:14,
Reply)
Horrifically.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:15,
Reply)
*throws up on slippers*
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
JEFF!
*waves*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
Now name four other films featuring 'Jacko'.
Go on.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:29,
Reply)
Three Bannisters and a Little Lady
(
Kroney, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
Grosse Point Blanket.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:38,
Reply)
save us jeff from Windy Pig's thread of turds
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:29,
Reply)
Diarrhoea of a Crazy Man*
*FILM#
# may not be a film
(
BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
Agggghhhhhh !!!!!
Ahhhh ha ha ha
GNAAAAAHHHH
Raaaaaahhh !!!
Get in da choppah ift you vhant to leehv
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
Julia Roberts?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
The third one's from "When Harry met Sally"
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:38,
Reply)
If I'm nat me, den hoo da hell am I?
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
I KNOW!!!!!
Marlon Brando, right?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:41,
Reply)
I DONE A NEW THREAD FOOLS
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
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