i'm in an uproariously good mood
i am leaving this job in 5 hours and will be going to festival tomorrow, and the weather looks GREAT.
reckon you can sink my fragile hopes of joy with your withering invective?

alt q: what Food do you take to festivals? i tend to favour stuff you can kneel on while rummaging frantically for something in your tent, and can stay out in the warm for a while without becoming inedible- ie granola traybakes, oranges, jerky,flapjack, and meal-in-a-tin shakes.

alt alt: best uk festival you've been to and why?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 11:56, 202 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've only been to festivals three times
and of those, Glastonbury 2000 was the best by far. If you need a "why" then you weren't there man, you weren't there.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 11:58, Reply)

i like the IDEA of glasto
but the vast majority of the music there is not to my taste (note- i didn't say shit) and the price puts me off.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 11:59, Reply)

It's a victim of its own success, I think.
I haven't been since 2002.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:02, Reply)

This^
Glasto 2000 was fucking brilliant
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:19, Reply)

1991 was the best Glastonbury I attended.
It was the last year of the Traveller's Field.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:28, Reply)

Alt alt: Glastonbury, because it's the best.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:03, Reply)

Altalt: *pulls up chair* Did I ever tell you about the 'Woodstock of the 80s',
the Treworgey Tree Fayre oF '89? I have? Well let me remind you....

I cannot put into words how fucking brilliant it was. Not only did I see pretty much every band still going that I wanted to see over the four days I was there, but it was my first unsupervised weekend away from home. It was a life-changing event for me.

www.ukrockfestivals.com/treworgey-tree-fayre-1989.html

Just look at the pictures. This was the Real Deal and its like will never be seen again, sadly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:06, Reply)

soz, no corporate sponsorship, how did you know what to buy?
that's well rubbish
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Innit, it was well shit.
There were no cash machines or mobile masts or ANYTHING.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:24, Reply)

Haha the Treworgy Tree Fayre?
That sounds more like one of Cavey's days out.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:10, Reply)

I see what you mean about the photos.
I can see a late 80's Nissan Bluebird, a Toyota pickup and a Volvo 760 there.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:13, Reply)

You can almost smell the crusties from those pictures.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:16, Reply)

It was like being at a medieval horse fair or something,
with grubby vagabonds all over the place etc. Those old festivals were like something outside of time, they really felt to me like I was connecting to an ancient British tradition of such things that goes right back to pre-Roman times etc.

This might be the most bent thing I have ever posted.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:34, Reply)

I imagined that I could hear Jerusalum playing as I read it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:35, Reply)

Correction
this is the most bent thing anyone's ever posted and I'm including Nakers, here.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:37, Reply)

It's even more bent than one of my posts about my sartorial choices.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:45, Reply)

I 100% stand by it and if you are not careful will elaborate at length.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:46, Reply)

I don't wan tto hear about
your medieval bender expo
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:49, Reply)

Hahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)

Bent Levellers fans.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:24, Reply)

that looks fucking depraved
i bet it smelt like swampy's tent in there.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:25, Reply)

It really was PROPER.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:27, Reply)

That looks like a thoroughly awful way to spend a weekend. Yuk.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:43, Reply)

Alt alt: Without question it would have to be All Tomorrow's Parties
Specifically the one curated by Shellac in 2002 was the best one ever, but I have never been to a bad one.
The line up is pretty much unconditionally guaranteed to be good (according to my tastes at least), there will be someone new to discover; you are not compelled to drink some shit beer, as there are no corporate sponsors; no camping - you stay in a chalet with a bed, a shower, a toilet and cooking facilities; let me just reiterate part of that: no festival toilets; no separation of punter and artist - they're all staying in the chalets too - that noisy cunt next door is Kim Deal.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:06, Reply)

I have never been to a music festival
Hope this helps
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:08, Reply)

they're full of awful people, crowds, shit drink, terrible drugs

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Plus, you have to pay A) to get there and B) to stay there
/grumpy
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:11, Reply)

This was not true once.
(apart from the awful people bit)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:12, Reply)

When I wanted to go I couldn't afford it
Now I can, but I'm not certain I'd enjoy it.
/lold
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:14, Reply)

I worked in a frozen meat factory for a week to pay for Treworgey (linked above)
I got £50 which bought the ticket, the train fare and enough Massive Drugs to kill an elephant. It also put me off manual labour for life.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:16, Reply)

+ and you still had change for you bus fare home
/my dad.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:18, Reply)

I'm going to Roryfest 2013. It'll have the best trolls form the internet there

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:17, Reply)

remember to bring your hand
pulling pints and yourself off
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:18, Reply)

Who's playing the Gary Barlow Memorial stage this year?

(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:47, Reply)

Crosby, Stillborn, Nash & Young.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:54, Reply)

POTD

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:56, Reply)

It's a good 'un. No false modesty from me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)

POW!
The Mighty Monce knocks another one outta the park!
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)

Take something with a bit of fibre, otherwise you'll be pebbledashing the bushes like noone's business.
Muesli bars, and dried cereal, out of the packet if you're too wrecked to sort a bowl and milk out will help prevent the shits.
Stonehenge, 80's, fucking brilliant. The days before massive entrance costs, blatant drug use and sales, no police or stewards in high vis vests, good music and a nicer all round attitude.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:16, Reply)

These people have no idea mate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:17, Reply)

*Dances in a hippy way, flinging flowers, and drinking Special Brew*

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:21, Reply)

already on the case
all butter flapjack. i'm going to shit a goddamn fencepost.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:20, Reply)

Green way to al fresco dumping.
(1) Take your trusty hand axe, which is also used for chopping wood for fires. DON'T cut live trees, it doesn't burn well and you fuck the tree.
(2) Cut a V shaped wedge out the ground, larger than the mud baby you intend to park.
(3) Deposit, wipe and place loo roll/Daily Mail into the hole.
(4) Replace the divot.
Much nicer than a horrendous festival bog, and you don't leave shit on the ground for a fucking bare footed hippy to step into. On this subject, take some decent footwear too. Boots are best, if rain expected, then welliebobs.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:30, Reply)

take an AXE to a festival? yeah that'll work FINE
alternative:
1: grab toilet roll
2: find portaloo
3: poop
4: wipe
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:39, Reply)

They're used for firewood.
For sitting round your fire at night being sociable.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:48, Reply)

i'll be SURE to tell the security guards
as they wrestle me to the ground en masse that it's only for firewood. and that the twelve inch bowie knife is for gutting fish. and the rifle is only in case of bears.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:52, Reply)

"You've still not told us why you're naked though"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:55, Reply)

?
Don't get, sorry.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:03, Reply)

Do hairy poofters frequent this festival?
You'll need more than a .22 mate. a fucking 12 bore and some AIDS spray.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)

What festival are you off to?
Alt Q: I've started taking baps made with cheap chicken, ham, beef, etc, and wrapping them individually. They won't keep you fed all the way through, but they remove the temptation to grab a sneaky burger in the middle of the day.

AltAlt: Sonisphere last year, well organised, a good laugh, cracking lineup, very few downsides in comparison to others.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:20, Reply)

YES soni was great
both years i went.

i'm off to boomtown fair.
music is a mixed bag, but it was a great spur of the moment decision last yearm, and the lack of must-see bands means i can focus on what we ALL KNOW is the main point of going to festival.

getting spannered.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:26, Reply)

I think I've heard of about 5 of the bands altogether
Although I can tell you that the singer from Caravan Palace is fit, and their music isn't bad at all, so they're worth a watch.

I'm off to Bloodstock tomorrow, might even bump into Clenders while I'm there.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:30, Reply)

nice!
musically more my cup of tea, but this is my birthday prezzy to the missus. i don't mind it, find it's a good laugh, enough to keep me intersted/find some new things, and HILARIOUS for people watching. plus good company!
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:32, Reply)

That's a fair reason to go to a festival!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:41, Reply)

i need, i mean, fundamentally NEED
a goddamn sunny festival. seriously, i'm clucking for some non-work sunshine relaxing with loud music and mangling.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:43, Reply)

The weather forecast for Bloodstock is fairly good, a little light rain expected, but aside from that it'll be sunny
Just glad I've packed the walking boots, otherwise the mud can be difficult.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:44, Reply)

Surely it'll be raining blood, sulphur and molten METAL!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:46, Reply)

I fucking hope not, the rain was bad enough last time.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:46, Reply)

I forecast hundreds of ultra-bent autistic quenders wearing black and 'moshing'.
This of course includes you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:47, Reply)

I think I've got one black t-shirt I'm taking
And I can't imagine I'll be 'moshing', as I tend to avoid doing that at festivals nowadays. Knowing the clumsy twat I am, I'd end up getting injured on the first day, and wouldn't be able to enjoy the rest of the weekend.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:53, Reply)

But no denial of the 'ultra-bent autistic quender'?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:56, Reply)

No more than the average bash

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:57, Reply)

I once bashed with Spakka.
You can't really get much more autistic and quenderous.

His cock doesn't do that pre-cum thing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:59, Reply)

He was an odd fellow.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:59, Reply)

Like an autistic Col Gaddaffi.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:27, Reply)

after download this year
i don't even CONSIDER going to a festie without heavily dubbined doc martens, and a good waterproof jacket.
I also dumped a whole bottle of nikwax tent waterproofing spray onto my tent's outer shell after it let me down at download. judging by the water-repellent splats all over the front patio in the rain this morning, it's good shit.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:48, Reply)

The DJ lineup looks pretty good.
balkan hotsteppers, DJ Hype, Deekline, Far Too Loud, Freestylers, Krafty Kuts & Dynamite, Luke Vibert, Plump DJs, Ratpack, Stanton Warriors, The Nextmen...

Blimey.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:43, Reply)

not to mention arsequake
for name alone!
it's not really my thing per se, but it's grimy and bassy and wobbly enough that i don't get too bored, and there's plenty of real music played on instruments to keep me entertained. provided i can find my way out of my tent that is....
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:49, Reply)

'Real music'?
As opposed to what?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:51, Reply)

Your shit sadcore.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:53, Reply)

Your shit 'garage punk'.
garagepunk.ning.com/profile/MontyBoyce
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:55, Reply)

The podcasts on there are fucking brilliant.
Rock'n'roll Rampage and the surf ones particularly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:59, Reply)

Do you listen to Weatherall's podcasts?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:00, Reply)

Have you a link to one of his rockabilly ones?
I've no interest in the dance ones unless I'm actually there, truth be told.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:05, Reply)

He plays all kinds of stuff.
Trawl through these though

www.mixcloud.com/tag/andrew-weatherall/

And if you haven't already, get his Sci Fi Lo Fi mix he did for Soma. Tracklisting:

1. Rock 'N' Roll Radio - Boot, Joe & The Fabulous Winds
2. Renegade - Rebs
3. Crazy Beat - Vincent, Gene
4. Snake Pit - Hipbone Slim & The Knee Tremblers
5. Jungle Rock - Falco, Tav & Panther Burns
6. Jungle Fever - Feathers, Charlie
7. Wampus Cat - Burnette, Johnny
8. Grim Reaper - Thee Milkshakes
9. 5-10 15-20 (Can Your Monkey Do The Dog) - Wray, Link
10. I Want Candy - Strangeloves
11. Free Angel - T-Rex
12. Big New Prinz - Fall (1)
13. Spilled Your Pint - Flaming Stars
14. Bloods - Primal Scream
15. Upside Down - Tropics Of Cancer
16. I Bloodbrother Be (4000 Loveletter) - Shockheaded Peters
17. New Kind Of Kick - Cramps
18. Bloodsport - Killing Joke
19. Feathers - Weatherall, Andrew
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)

At least two of those are deemed 'garage punk' you witless knobjockey.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:20, Reply)

I was poking gentle fun at you, you quendering buffoon.
I quite like garage punk actually.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:24, Reply)

as opposed to insipid, repetitive, computer assembled fucking bleeping
that sounds like someone raping a dialup modem withj a stylophone, like at global gathering etc.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:04, Reply)

There's not even a tune you can whistle, is there?
Call this music???
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)

You see, the funny thing here is that you're using a computer to write those words down.
Everybody knows that 'real writing' can only be achieved by using pen and paper.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:10, Reply)

that's why i write everything down first in my moleskine diary
with my quill pen, then have my butler read it aloud to the other gentlemen in the smoking room. anything less than a hearty guffaw, and it gets burnhed on the log fire.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:18, Reply)

omg general levy
everyone knows he basically invented jungle
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:49, Reply)

incredible

(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:50, Reply)

*tenuous joke involving 'breaks'*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:52, Reply)

He's certainly from one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:53, Reply)

Reading 2006, because Pearl Jam were there
ceral bars and shit like that.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:25, Reply)

I'm in the process of doing a huge security update with passwords based on an entirely new system that is based on REAL PHYSIOLOGY.
This time tomorrow I'm going to have 50k people scream and shout at me, or be totes amaze'd.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:25, Reply)

I thought you were getting fired? Did you sort it all out?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:26, Reply)

Not sure what you mean, there are a few times where I've thought the job isn't for me but about a month into it things clicked into place and it came out good.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:32, Reply)

I think he's referring to that client that got stroppy at you.
He's not the best at expressing himself or, indeed, any sort of coherent thought.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:38, Reply)

Ahhhh, yeah, they're still like that, and they're the people I'm doing this update for.
But hopefully they'll be impressed by everything by the time I go home.

My boss has said some really encouraging things to me about it and I feel way better about it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:41, Reply)

This is why I always ended up cunt punching girls I fancied

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:44, Reply)

Beacons is near me, but no ticket this year.
The lineup is fantastic, plus only £85 for the weekend.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:38, Reply)

B D
s
near
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:48, Reply)

4/10

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:48, Reply)

you doss cunt
www.greetingsfrombeacons.com/view/lineup/
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:50, Reply)

I've heard of Roots Manuva
that's it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:53, Reply)

Everybody else must be shit then, otherwise you would have heard of them.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:54, Reply)

Andrew Weatherall needs no introduction ...

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:56, Reply)

Who?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:58, Reply)

i ent never heard of any of the others
Needs more Shed7
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:58, Reply)

I for one have no idea who Toots and the Maytals are.
Or Julio Bashmore, or Maya Jane Coles.

They must be shit, stands to reason.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)

You are joking here aren't you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:05, Reply)

Of course I am, you fucken prickname.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:06, Reply)

I was about to suggest that most people should at least have heard of Toots and the Maytals...
Plus there are at least two Mercury nominated bands in that line-up, so it isn't that obscure.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:07, Reply)

If they're good enough for Freddie....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:10, Reply)

Who are Toots and the Maytals?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:13, Reply)

I have no idea.
I think they may be coloured.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:18, Reply)

A UB40 tribute band

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:19, Reply)

You'd know all about 'being 40'.
LOL!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:20, Reply)

I cannot think of many worse things than attending a festival.
Full of plebs who are full of assorted substances, shit food, terrible accommodation, not able to wash or use a clean porcelain toilet and probably poor weather as well. No fucking thank you.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:40, Reply)

Haha and thank you, Zsa Zsa Gabor

( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:41, Reply)

Thanks for that viewpoint 'grandad'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:42, Reply)

That sounds just like the main 'customer proposition'
of your employers.

Minus the weather natch.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:44, Reply)

lucky you're not attending then!
you'd fucking HATE this.

also- the food here is actually bloody good for a festival. the rotisserie chicken, gravy, and roast rosemary potatoes was the top hit last year, btu the burger bar, veggie falafel stand and mexican place were all splendid. and i'm not talking 'splendid because i'm smashed' i'm talking if you went into a nice cafe in brighton and got served that food, you'd smile, eat and pay.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:45, Reply)

You still have to shit in to a hedge or a chemical toilet.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:47, Reply)

so?
when society crumbles, delicate flowers like you will be the first ones we kill and eat.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:50, Reply)

Wouldn't keep you going for long though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:53, Reply)

i'd be sure to shit out the remains
in an unhygeinic outdoor setting

surrounded by hippies.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)

Not if you eat nothing but acid you don't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:03, Reply)

Here is a handy list of things that might be worse:
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1690500
Hope this helps.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:46, Reply)

Nope. Festival attendance seems much worse.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:49, Reply)

Alt: food is for gays. All you need is a vast stash of LSD.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:52, Reply)

Just because you can't afford to spend £8 for a floppy misery burger

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:55, Reply)

The less you eat, the less you need to shit, the less you need to have to do with the bogs.
Win, win and win again...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:57, Reply)

I just shit in empty Pringles tubes and fling them at emos

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:58, Reply)

my mate once
shat in a carrier bag in his tent, then tossed it into a neighbouring tent. sweltering heat. carrier bag full of poop.
repulsive bastard.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:00, Reply)

Proper lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)

misery Aubergine.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:57, Reply)

misery fur

No?
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)

you sir, misunderestimate me.
i'm a fucking greedy bastard. i can eat under ANY circumstances i'm likely to find myself in at a festival. ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. i've been known to abscond from house parties at 4am to make myself a bacon sammich when everyone else is on a firm diet of wrigleys and water.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:57, Reply)

i'm going to lunch
don't fuck this thread up while i'm gone with your incessant belming. that means you. all of you.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:54, Reply)

I'm fucking off home, might work in the pub with their new wifi

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:56, Reply)

on your fucking macbook pro yeah?
in shoredith yeah? in your fucking pennyloafers yeah?
you people sicken me.

(secretly does the same thing minus the pennyloafers)
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:58, Reply)

On my shitty work dell in my espadrilles I suspect
I don't know what penny loafers are you lisping spastic
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:00, Reply)

everything after the word 'espadrilles'
is null and fucking void.

you fucking retarded-mexican-boat-shoe wearing gimp. :D





fucking espadrilles.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)

Genuine officelolz

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:04, Reply)

I've never clicked one of your posts before.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:07, Reply)

i'm hurt monty
i'll have you know i'm considered to be a right card in some circles. *huffs*
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:08, Reply)

An 'in deepest sympathy' card, right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)

more like a
yellow card for moderate cunting, with a view to preventing future cunting.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:11, Reply)

Oh Nakers.
Nakers, no :(
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:11, Reply)

So at the midway point of this thread
we have Monty connecting with some ancient order of tree-benders, AA and PD arguing over who's got the girliest sub-culture and Battered admitting that he's too much of a princess to sleep in tent for a couple of nights.

Oh and Gonz is at work.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:58, Reply)

Seems like everyone is being a little phoney, Kroney.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:59, Reply)

As the crow from Dangermouse would say
Si, Barone Kroney
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:11, Reply)

it's got promise so far.
i almost don't want to leave it unattended, in case it needs a poke.. like a newly-lit campfire.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 12:59, Reply)

I highly approve of mid-thread updates
And support this endeavour going forwards
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:00, Reply)

As do I.
They should be a regular feature.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)

I feel like threads peter out a little in the middle
I assume it's because everybody's on the sidelines having their oranges.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)

Vote Kroney
He knows what YOU want
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:03, Reply)

with endorsements like this
how can we fail?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)

AA definitely has the bentest 'subculture'.
Anything that has to be as macho as 'metal' is protesting far too much.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:03, Reply)

wub wub wub

( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:04, Reply)

Elmer Fudd having a wank?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:06, Reply)

Be vewy vewy quiet
I'm thwashing one out

huh huh huh huh huh huh huh
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:07, Reply)

I dun snorted coffee up my nose!
*click*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:08, Reply)

I'm not really into dubstep.
Soz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:06, Reply)

All sounds the same to me
I'm a terrible racist.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:07, Reply)

Vote Kroney
Help to keep B3ta B3tan
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)

Dubstep is the stuff that goes WUB WUB WUB
Jungle mainly uses amens

House and techno go BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

Rap just has stupid black men talking over some songs they've stolen from talented white guys that play their own instruments.

HTH xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:14, Reply)

Wubstep plz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)

is it macho?
or is it just you're so used to music with no balls and some daft bint warbling into an autotune mic over some 4/4 tin-pot beat, that anything with a pair of stones terrifies you?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:07, Reply)

What?
I hate chart dance, and trance. And I love Pantera, Sunn O))), Carpathian, Kyuss, Earth and Black Sabbath.

Can't stand autotune, and I much prefer breakbeats over 4/4s.

Soz to bear the bad news etc etc.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:12, Reply)

You need some Supersonic Festival in your life:
www.supersonicfestival.com/line-up/
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:14, Reply)

That's a good lineup.
Soz to bear the bad news etc etc.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:15, Reply)

so why the metal hate?
or are you talking about the people who can't listen to it without feeling the need to look like they were covered in glue then dragged at speed through world of leather and an ironmongers, and high-five each other after every 'sentence'?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:15, Reply)

I don't hate metal, you patronising flid.
But I don't see why pricks should think that electronic music is any less 'real' than music made with 'traditional' instruments.

A musical instrument is an object which can be used to make music. This means that computers and turntables are just as valid as guitars and drums. I assume you'd rather listen to McFly than, say, The Prodigy then?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:18, Reply)

i wasn't talking about electronic music
read the damn post again
i'm talking about the shit, repetitive,( example here- house music) tripe that has NO variation, just 'here is a 4/4 beat. now here is a sample of a woman going 'oooh baby yeah' autotuned to fuck, drop that in every four bars. now here is a short piano riff. do that for three hours, and if they stop dancing, throw in this sample of someone hitting a small child with a shoe'

for example, i saw dan le sac the other month and he was playing an instrument, which happened to be am MPC.
i saw a lot of other dj's too, who were blending other people's songs into each other. THAT is where i draw the line between making music, and being a fucking playlist operator.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:23, Reply)

House is by no means all like that.
Only the chart bollocks is.

But nice to hear a considered, thought through point of view.

DJing is far more than just playing someone else's tunes. It's a fundamentally different performance paradigm to live music, you witless spazwit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:26, Reply)

One of the bands playing at Beacons used to be called 'Christian AIDS'.
Massive lolz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:05, Reply)

Going for my lunch now.
Do try to be good.
( Kroney, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:20, Reply)

You'll only be lonely eating baloney with your Sony Mony Mony, Kroney

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:23, Reply)

I refuse to answer any of these questions.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:23, Reply)

They're bloody nosey, this lot
Anyway, how far back does it go?
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:25, Reply)

about half way,
then it doubles back on itself briefly before finishing near enough where you would expect.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Really??
Man...I think I need to see a doctor or something
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:27, Reply)

give nhs direct a ring.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:29, Reply)

nhs Tesco

?
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:29, Reply)

tesco sports

?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:31, Reply)

You rang?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:32, Reply)

KP's thing isn't normal,
can you help her out?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:35, Reply)

Just got to a MOTO service station on the M1
I forgot how fucking god awful they ate
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:24, Reply)

can i have a dime bar?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:27, Reply)

You Windy may have two

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:29, Reply)

is this a round about way of calling me fat?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:31, Reply)

So I have a couple of questions for you
- Is /talk dying?
- Who's to blame?
- How can it be fixed?
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)

That's three questions
prick
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:34, Reply)

1. yes
2. Pakistanis
3. mustard gas
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:35, Reply)

WAKIstanis more like!

(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:40, Reply)

MORE LIKE!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:45, Reply)

i don't know,
i don't know,
i don't know.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:35, Reply)

You useless ginger bitchpipe

(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:38, Reply)

look young lady,
there is no way i'm going to stand for this sort of abuse. *sits down*
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:39, Reply)

1.Yes
2. Monty
3. Bum AIDS, delivered by Darth Foxtrot.

It's the only way to be sure.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:37, Reply)

um eastman
(Kid Presentable, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:41, Reply)

Probs. calling you
Undernourished, and trying to fatten you up.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)

you sick feeder.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:36, Reply)

If Monty and Tangers are still around
They should check out Ewan Pearson's podcasts and mixes. He's an incredibly versatile DJ.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:31, Reply)

Listening to Clubberia Podcast 13 right now
17 minutes in and I'm a bit bored by it tbh.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:50, Reply)

You quender
Are you enjoying all the autotuned vocals and repetitive keyboard samples?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:52, Reply)

I much prefer REAL MUSIC

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:55, Reply)

I prefer FAKE MUSIC WRITTEN BY COMPUTERS WHICH REQUIRES NO TALENT TO MAKE!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Aug 2012, 13:56, Reply)