Wow,
I mean wow.

I go to post a link, my mum pops round, we chat, go back to my laptop and submit, I come back, and BOOOM.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 12:55, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I've popped your mums round.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 12:56, Reply)

I assume that by 'popped' you mean 'sexed'
and by 'round' you mean 'vagina'?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 12:58, Reply)

And by "I've" he means "We've all"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:00, Reply)

I dont' even know what to believe anymore.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:00, Reply)

Unless by 'popped' you mean 'eaten'
and by 'your Mums round' you mean 'a whole box of profiterols then had a cry'.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)

Links is over there
<---


( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 12:57, Reply)

I know, I know
I got a little excited.

I dont like to be called names... :(
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:00, Reply)

HI CHCB!
I did some sprints this morning.

On a running machine.

I vibrated it so hard it was facing the wrong way when I finished.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:00, Reply)

Dan Dan Dan, you seem like a man of the world. Help me with something.
The girl on the table across the way from me has a skirt on and I am finding her legs extremely distracting. What do you think I should do? I feel like "put 'em away love, I'm struggling to concentrate" would send the wrong message.
( Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 12:58, Reply)

Tell her she has nice legs
This has potentially two different effects: 1) she's embarrassed by your comments and covers up, or 2) She likes the attention and asks for some supplemental restraint.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 12:59, Reply)

I WAS ASKING DAN DAN DAN

( Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:00, Reply)

Oh...yes...of course...gosh
I'm sorry Kroney.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)

You think the addition of a second hat gives you the right to butt in with your opinion?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)

No...no...I just get caught up sometimes
Look, I didn't want to upset anyone. Just another fellow traveller, offering the benefit of his own experience.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:04, Reply)

I'm trying to be inclusive here
but you pricks keep butting in with all your "opinions".

Wankers.
( Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:05, Reply)

Nah, Twoey is alright.
He just needs to keep his hats in check.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:07, Reply)

There's not an awful lot I can do about that
They're more in control than I am by this point. It's like Dr Octopus' robot arms.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:43, Reply)

This plan is fucking bulletproof.
Nothing can go wrong.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)

You know it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)

Just stare,
stare and stare and stare. If she says anything start rubbing your crotch.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)

I cannot see how seeing girls legs can be anything but a good thing
What are you contentrating on which is more important than girls legs?
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)

if he says "tits" i will 2.0 him

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)

She's married.
I have an exceptionally strong moral compass.
( Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)

so basically
"her tits"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:03, Reply)

Yeah, it's tits.
He can probably see the slightest outline of nipple against her shirt.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:04, Reply)

why would you want to give kroney a bongle?
why?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:05, Reply)

So he can slurp it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:06, Reply)

holy crap what an image
well, at least it should have distracted kroney from perving over his unfortunate colleague
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:08, Reply)

Will you people please stop fantasising about me?
I'm a person with thoughts and feelings and dreams. I am not a piece of meat.
( Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)

unlike your colleague
who is basically a pair of chicken drumsticks to you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:10, Reply)

Yeah, but she's a woman.

( Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:13, Reply)

go and serenade her with some of your beloved phil collins
that'll get you sooooo laid
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)

You can get bent, Phil's a legend.

( Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:10, Reply)

read that again
it's not me who's bent, sunshine
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:10, Reply)

Tell her she has nice shoes.
Then say your ex girlfriend who was a model had a nice similar pair before she died in a car crash while you were flying your jet. You're unsure if you can love again. Ask her name, and when she tells you break down and say that was your dead girlfriends name.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:03, Reply)

Oh wow, this is good stuff.
You're like Cyrano de Bergerac
( Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:04, Reply)

If she's married and a bit dim, then just take your belt off and slap it in your hands and say
want to reenact 50 shades of grey?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:05, Reply)